Over the last couple weeks there has been a very good conversation continuing on the post Habits Revisited. So I’ve been thinking about how it is that nuns and sisters (or anyone of a ministering-type persuasion) let others know that they are a nun. What are the cues that we give? I’m not talking about the habit or other forms of dress. I’m talking about the more intangible things such as demeanor, behavior, etc.
I often think about what it must have been like to encounter Jesus walking through the dusty streets of Galilee. He certainly didn’t have on glowing white robes (except maybe at his baptism in the Jordan or the Transfiguration) or a sign around his neck saying, “I’m the Messiah.” What was it about Jesus that exuded God’s love, that made people seek his presence and reach out to him? How did people know that Jesus was there to minister to/with them?
Somewhere in Jesus’ lived experience is the key for all of us who minister not just at the pulpit or in our official ministry roles, but in all that we are and do.
"She wrote the way she lived: on the fly, without retrospect, always on the way, climbing higher."
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There was a Pastor who was a horrid golfer, but he loved playing it. After the first 3 holes, the other golfers looked at him and asked if he was a minister. He was surprised and answered ‘yes’. Puzzled he asked how they knew. “With a swing like that and you dumped three shots in a row into the water and you haven’t cussed yet” was the answer.
Sorry if this is less of a serious answer than you were looking for, but I thought it was funny…
I have often visited with clergy and sisters who are friends…Their demeanor is seldom raucus or loud. For the most part they carry themselves with self-assurance. They “listen” more that the general public. I am amazed at what GOOD listeners these friends are. They are real people…Sr. Gilchrist Conway, SP was a joyous story-teller who could play basketball. Fr. Ken taught the boys to play golf. Fr. Gene came for dinner and a quiet chat. All seem to me the way Jesus would have been…Sr. Dorothy Rasche, SP, has worked in the prison ministry for years and am still amazed at her talent for asking the right questions when someone is in distress…See??? Holy gifted people of God.
For a more serious reply, I agree. It seems that there is a charisma which lots of people who are secure with their Deity have. There is a feeling of being at the center of the Universe when one is speaking to them. Being a good listener in this culture is unusual(I have yet to master it) but, my theory is that when you frequently listen to a Much Larger voice, it is easier to listen to the smaller voices too. Also, often there is a palatable feeling of Spiritual Stability which comes from the sort of personal soul searching and active connection to the Divine that the religious life affords one. Of course, one must acknowledge that this is how it appears on the outside… Like your statement at the top of the Blog page… there is no Divine ‘nun-pill’ which makes all the doubts go away.
After re-reading some of the discussion about the habit and especially Pamela’s ideas about honoring the Divine, I would imagine that people would not approach Pamela if she did not have a personality and a demeanor which was approachable. A habit or a collar (or any overt sign of religion) does not immediately make anyone more approachable. Often I am wary around anyone in religious garb until I know how they are going to react toward me. It is the innate kindness and caring behavior which makes the habit a symbol of respect rather than history.
I believe most scholars would agree that Jesus actually would have worn the customary garments of a rabbi at that time in Israel’s history; so He was readily identifiable as “teacher”. This did not set Him apart though…as many rabbis wandered the roads of palestine with groups of disciples. There was something more.
Isn’t it a challenge?
Provoking thread.
Some of the qualities I find common to most religious I know/meet are patience, a less judgmental-more accepting attitude than most and a sense of inner joy/peace. The lack of focus on materialism is also unique in this modern, consumer society. Now, as we all know, not ALL religious or religious people share these characteristics. But many do.
I agree with the poster(s) that reported religious as being good listeners. I find that to be true much of the time. They also do appear to have an inner sense of stability, a sort of centered way of being. Perhaps that comes from knowing who and whose they are.
donna
Yes, good point, Brother Dominic-Michael. It’s that “something more” that I find intriguing because after Jesus’ experience at the Jordan River, the way he was with people must have changed radically. I suppose the healings and miracles helped! You’re right: a challenge to us indeed.
I also agree with the “Listening” characteristic, not that I have by any means perfected this, but it is something I strive for, something I feel like I have a sacred responsibility to do. It’s something to cultivate in all areas of life … when at the grocery store or restaurant or standing at the street corner waiting for a bus. It doesn’t mean necessarily talking with people but I think being tuned into people — “listening” — does affect people as Elizabeth noted about how she feels a connection, a stability. I know this to be true of the holy men and women with whom I have been around in my life. Wow. It is unmistakeable.
People tell me that they know I am a sister by the way I walk and talk. When I ask them,”How do I walk and talk?” They respond, “You glide in the halls and you have time for people” I also think I don’t show off with clothes, make up or painted toenails.
A good friend of mine claims that as she’s seen my “transformation” from wannabe nun to novice, I’ve become “spookier.”
“Not spooky in a bad way,” she was quick to clarify, “but spooky in a living from a deeper place kind of way.”
I think she’s on to something.
I love it!
What I’ve noticed about the nuns and priests I’ve been privileged to know is a deep and abiding concern for people, a warmth and compassion that all too few of us possess. The other qualities mentioned are there as well, but this is the one that has impressed me the most.
Sister Julie–I’ve tagged you for a Thinking Blogger Award! Thanks for everything you do!
http://subversivechristianity.blogspot.com/2007/04/thinking-blogger-award.html
I’m in the middle of a Hospice Palliative Care training course, and I’m finding that many of the ways we approach the specific areas of grief, dying and suffering from a secular and worldly perspective, tend to build walls rather than open channels of communication. I think that a major part of Jesus’ ministry, His attractiveness, was simply being a listener and accepting the stories people told Him as valid expressions of their feelings/experiences. The woman weeping at His feet might have been shushed and escorted out unceremoniously, but instead He allowed her to finish what she was doing in silence. Perhaps the simple act of listening is the biggest step we can take to engaging those we encounter in life?
Jesus could no doubt have waved His “magic wand” and presto, all problems solved in each case, but He didn’t. And so we perhaps must seek to put ourselves across as not having all the answers, having needs of our own, being vulnerable…for all these are true of us. While we may possess moral certainty that a certain course of action or behaviour is contrary to both the letter and spirit of God’s revealed law, and that consequences will inevitably follow; we cannot gain a hearing if there is no serious attempt to establish a relationship in which dialogue can take place. Friendship comes first. In a palliative care situation, there is really nothing one can do to help a patient/client from a medical standpoint, it is all a matter of being a caring presence, and a listening ear, an agreeable companion. I think this approach would work with much of life…we’re all terminal patients or grieving a loss in some sense.
We can save our verbal and literary lashings for the Pharisees; as Jesus did.
As I’ve just recently discovered this blog, I’m just now looking at “old” posts. This is an interesting question - what makes a holy person holy? I’ve often asked it myself (both of myself and others). Although I am a Catholic laywoman (albeit now discerning religious life), working in an institution founded by sisters, I’ve often had people ask if I’m a sister, or becoming one. Granted, my job gives me the title of minister, but does that automatically equal holy/religious/nun? I’m honored that people equate me with the nuns who founded the institution, and who continue to work there, but I also am glad that because they don’t dress in a manner that obviously distinguishes them from laypeople, it forces others to look at ALL people as religious and judge them on their character. Although some of the nuns I know and love dearly are certainly in this category, there are others as well whom I highly respect as people who exemplify God’s love and compassion. On a lighter note, if people spend enough time around nuns that aren’t in a 16th century style habit, they’ll figure out that orthopedic shoes are the dead giveaway as to who is a nun!
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