Mutual Discernment for Big Decisions

I received a question from Donna about career choices for women religious and thought I’d post it and my response because it raises some important points about being a nun.

I remember hearing that years ago most women who entered religious life (apostolic) had to become teachers pretty much if they wanted to or not. I’m thinking there were some nurses thrown in between.

Today, what type of choices of career do women who enter religious life have? Aside from teaching, I’ve known/heard of sisters mostly as social workers, counsellors, retreat directors/spiritual directors, college, school and hospital administrators and parish associates. Obviously there are a number in publishing too. You occassionally hear of sisters as doctors and lawyers, etc.

I guess my question is this, who basically decides what career/actual job a sister will have? Is it she, the mother superior, she and the mother superior, etc.? Does the community have any input? Does a sister need to be concerned with how much money she earns or would, say, a low-paying job (minimum wage)in a food pantry be ok, for example? Do some orders give women more freedom in this area? What orders do you think are most open to a sister chosing her career? (I do realize there might be some limitations based on the ethics/lack thereor involved in certain avenues for employment .

Each community does things a bit differently in terms of identifying which ministry one is going to engage in. In some cases, a community may have a specific need or be asked by an organization (e.g. diocese or mission) for some help. In that case the community leadership might identify some folks within the community whom they believe can best meet that need, all things considered. The sister would be asked to consider that ministry and she would then discern and pray about this request. So the community leadership and the sister would mutually discern a ministry. A request from one’s leadership is a serious thing and there must be strong reasons why one would deny the request (e.g., “I don’t want to” doesn’t cut it).

In today’s world many apostolic sisters must find work the way anyone else does. We read the want ads, network with people, and see what is out there. We put our resumes together just like other professionals do.

If a sister were looking for a job she would most likely let her leadership know and seek any advice from them. She’d probably let them know what she was looking for and keep them in the loop as to her search. Before she accepted a position she’d run it by them. This would be like a wife and husband discussing things over before one of them made a big decision, or someone checking in with a good friend as a sounding board.

Money is and is not a factor. As a community we want our sisters to minister in a place where she can best use her gifts and help those in need. At the same time it is important for each/most of us to earn a fair wage. As a community we must be wise stewards of our resources so that we can direct them towards serving our mission. Contrary to many people’s belief, the Church does not financially support religious communities (exception: annual religious retirement fund). We nuns are on our own. We rely on our sisters’ salaries, services (e.g. renting out a facility), donations, the generosity of our friends and benefactors, and wise investments. So we have to be conscious of obtaining a fair wage but at the same time we are commited to helping people who are poor and vulnerable and jobs like that don’t often pay much at all. This is where discernment comes in and the community’s wisdom is invaluable.

Ultimately the leadership of the community has the authority to approve or disapprove a ministry choice and a sister must respect that decision. However in my experience, the process of mutual discernment works extraordinarily well in helping the sister and the community be “of one mind” … doesn’t mean you have to like the result, but mutual discernment is a way to be at peace with the decision and with one annother. In all my big decisions, I have found that I always ended up where I was supposed to be, even if I couldn’t see it in the beginning. I am grateful for the prayerful wisdom of my nuns.

Across congregations there is probably a lot of variance in terms of how much freedom a sister has in choosing her ministry. Communities which are more focused on a particular mission, e.g., working with the Haitian community, will probably have fewer options for working outside that mission. But a sister knows that going into a community so it’s not like it is a hardship.

What are your experiences with choosing a ministry (or being chosen by one, as the case may be!) and/or with mutual discernment?