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Chronic Illness and Becoming a Nun REVISITED
In response to my post Can You Become a Nun if you have a Chronic Illness? I received an email from Sr. M. Zita Wenker, OSB, a Benedictine sister who is a member of the Benedictines of Jesus Crucified, Monastery of the Glorious Cross in Connecticut. I asked her permission to post it on my blog because it is such a direct, honest response to considerations involved in accepting people with a chronic illness. It brings a new light to this complex and important issue.
1. As vocation director, it’s important for me to know exactly what the chronic illness/condition is, that someone has who is considering religious/monastic life. There are some illnesses that could be integrated into community living rather easily–someone with a heart condition, for instance, knows what her limitations are, and as long as she gets adequate rest, takes her meds, and exercises common sense in what she does, it could be very workable. Of course, this assumes that the community is willing to take her condition into consideration, and would not ask some work she couldn’t do. On the other hand, I’ve seen women with such severe allergies that they spend most of the day preparing their own special diet, or staying out of any place with dust, mold, mildew, etc. This kind of condition would be next to impossible to integrate, at least into any community I know of.
As far as I know, there’s no community that will accept women with mental illness of any kind, or those with the likelihood (from family history) of developing it in the future. Any candidate has to be well-balanced psychologically and emotionally. (God help us all! We joke that if we were applying today, we wouldn’t be accepted!!!)
Back to chronic illness–a few women with fibromyalgia and/or chronic fatigue syndrome, seem able to manage it well. Nevertheless, I suspect it would be rather hard in community, where everyone is expected to pull her own weight. Again, it would depend on what the community is willing to do—to what degree it can stretch. In my experience, we’ve had to say no to women with cerebral palsy. Some are so afflicted with it that normal conversation isn’t possible. Others have much milder cases, and may perhaps be integrated, but still–in our experience we’ve had instances of psychological problems surfacing years after entering, in some women who have CP. To what extent it’s due to the CP itself, I’m not competent to say. We also refuse women with multiple sclerosis, or other neurological conditions that would get progressively worse. Whether a community could handle the repercussions of accepting such women would depend on the various communities–we are small, and can only handle so much. A larger group might be able to do it.
2. My community is one that is open to women with certain physical limitations: blindness, deafness (although this is a challenge for the person and the community), polio and its after-effects, arrested TB, heart problems, diabetes—these are some of the conditions our members have. We are the Benedictines of Jesus Crucified, Monastery of the Glorious Cross, 61 Burban Drive, Branford, CT 06405. We are a monastic community, with no outside ministry.
An apostolic community that accepts women with disabilities is the Sisters of the Lamb of God, in Owensboro, Kentucky.
The Visitation Monasteries may be open to some women with chronic illnesses, depending on what they are. The various monasteries probably have varying criteria, so anyone interested would have to try one by one.
A group that is not a religious community, but is a “pious union,” is the Franciscan Missionaries of Jesus Crucified. They welcome women (and men, for that matter) with chronic illnesses.
My community offers the possibility of becoming Oblates to those who are interested in living according to our spirituality, but in their own homes, marriages, jobs, families, etc. Some of our Oblates are physically handicapped and many are not. It’s not a factor, as long as they want what we have, and understand what becoming an Oblate entails. A lot of communities have Oblates, third orders, associates, affiliates, etc. These can sometimes be a route for women who might not be able to be fully accepted into a community.
I hope this is some help. Please visit our web site at www.benedictinesjc.org.
Sr. M. Zita Wenker, OSB
In her email to me, Sister added that the following:
Some apostolic communities are beginning to be more open to women with certain chronic conditions, although of course they have to be careful too. Sometimes not being able to do everything that is expected of all members can eat away at a person’s self-esteem and self-worth.
If you have any questions for Sister M. Zita, please let me know and I’ll forward them to her or feel free to write to her at the snail mail address given above.
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{ 11 comments }
This is a very helpful and informative post. However, I’d also suggest fleshing out the meaning of “mental illness” in Sister’s reply as many communities today will accept people with manageable depression or some forms of post-traumatic stress syndrome. My concern is only that people read such information generally and may mis-exclude themselves from consideration. I hope I don’t seem like a pest on that point.
Peace!
Thanks for the updated post. I think the considerations are all valid and helpful for all concerned and I appreciate the sense of ‘discernment’ that’s required.
I enjoyed Zita’s comment that “We joke that if we were applying today, we wouldn’t be accepted!!!”
As a woman applying for pre-novitiate and jumping through endless hoops of psychological assessments I sometimes wonder how many Sisters there’d be today if that had been the process years ago. I’m not advocating for change because I think it’s a helpful process (mostly) for everyone but I do wonder about it.
For the record, the tendency that some older Sisters have in saying “it’s so much easier these days” is not really helpful. Sure, I don’t have some of the isolation from family or many other pressures of the time, but it’s just different now. And whether it’s easier or harder isn’t really the point.
Blessing to all, Sarah
I once read in a magazine somewhere that a woman who longed to join a Religious Order was considered too ill. I think she wished to join Mother Theresa’s Order? And that due to the fact that she oould not join this Order, a movement began where a person could ‘adopt’ a Sister and pray for her specifically.
This gave fulfilment to the sick at home who now was given meaning to live out their own religious calling but in a different field.
My memory fails me as to where I read this and perhaps I have got it wrong? I just remember thinking what a wonderful idea this was…To pray for a Sister and offer up all one’s pains and anguish to help the Sister in her Vocation.
Peace and blessings to you Sister J..and I did add your blog:) Many thanks.
Marie
Marie, You are correct, that was the Missionaries of Charity, I am not sure, however, if this is still in place, as I believe it ran into problems.
All The best,
Lily
Lily:)
thanks for that:). What a pity, I thought when I read it though it is an excellent idea there needed to be some well thought out plan. For instance it would be wise NOT to contact the Sister you have adopted in that they would simply NOT have the time to keep up a correspondence.
Ilness is a very isolating thing, especially long term illnesses. I can understand the loneliness…but I DO hope it may be resurrected with NEW guidelines…It would enable the sick person to feel as if they too had something to contribute and give a meaningfulness to their own sufferings.
God’s abundant love to you Lily
Marie
thanks for this great blog! It’s fascinating.
Redemptive Suffering is also still important.
http://www.consecration.com/Kfc.html
Knights at the Foot of the Cross
The Knights at the Foot of the Cross (KFC) is an outreach within the MI movement, comprised of Catholics afflicted by the cross of suffering – physical, spiritual or emotional.
Do you know of any places who accept a physically disabled woman to become a nun in Canada?
Dear Maria, I’m sorry I don’t know but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Start with any nuns in your local parish or diocese. The diocese should have a vocations office that can better help you with communities that live and minister in the diocese. If anyone else can help please comment below. Thanks.
http://ca.dir.yahoo.com/Regional/Countries/Canada/Society_and_Culture/Religion_and_Spirituality/Faiths_and_Practices/Christianity/Denominations_and_Sects/Catholic/Orders/
That is a list of some nuns/sisters and other orders, you can contact them to find out…
also some other Canadian sisters/nuns:
http://www.solisisters.ca/SOLIhome.html
http://www.sgm.qc.ca/
No idea if they accept disabled women, but you can contact them to find out. God will find a place for you, I have no doubt!
Good luck & many blessings Maria, you are in my prayers.
Lucia
No one should judge an mental illness before the person is understood. Anyone could have a mental illness but still be able to function in a normal setting. I agree that some mental illnesses are irrefutable but not all require medication. Sometimes Jesus Christ can become the greatest counselor if we let him. Maybe someday will stop being afraid of what we can’t understand and trust in God a little more. We are here to love not judge what people are capable of before we meet them in person.
Thank you for this update – it’s very insightful.
I know that there could be many debates about what qualifies a person as healthy physically or mentally – and that there is also the call as Christians to serve and protect and honour each other.
One of my thoughts in that was something our own church faces however – that there can be too many demands on a community at times, and that the community needs to know it’s own limits and capability in order to meet it’s original goals. If the community has a mission of service and supporting people in need, then it needs to also decide how it will achieve that. And if that includes taking members into the community in a formal membership way that is wonderful. However if the community feels it’s mission is more outwardly focussed, and to deliver those goals wants it’s members to be able devote time outside the (religious) community to the wider society – then that surely must be their decision.
An individual’s calling isn’t necessarily going to find a compatible community to live within. And a community’s mission isn’t going to suit all people’s calling.
Hence the lengthy discernment processes, and the qualifying requirements. They are about making sure that the community and the individual can both be very sure about have a shared, joint vision of what they are going to be doing together for the rest of their lives.
I suspect that a community would consider any person at face level, but the greater difficulties of an individuals personal needs might be very heavy for a community to meet if they were also focussed outwardly.
Afterall – we all seek to serve God, and live in Christ’s light – but how we are called by the Lord to do this can be different to what we first assume.