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Becoming a Nun After 40ish
By Sister Julie | August 15, 2007
I’ve received a number of emails and comments from women over 40 who want to become a sister but find that the usual cut-off age is around 40. I know that there are religious communities such as my own IHM community that do accept women over 40 on a person-by-person basis. I’d like to put together a list of these communities so that women over 40 have the opportunity to get to know these communities and truly explore the possibility of a religious vocation.
Please comment on this post or send me an email with the names of communities (including location) that you know of who accept women over 40.
Also, on the Vision Vocation Network Web site, there is a Vocation Match feature that asks, among other things, your age range. At the end of the questions is a list of your match results. This might be a resource for women over 40 (and anyone discerning a vocation) to check out.
Topics: vocations |
August 15th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
I know Our Lady of the Rock on Shaw Island will take older vocations. I think the oldest person they had join was in her 50’s or 60’s.
August 16th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Sister, why such a young cut off age? I should think that if someone has the call then they should be permitted to join. My husband’s priest (Anglican) was ordained in her late 40’s. I think the life experience that she has makes her a better priest.
August 16th, 2007 at 7:14 am
The explaination I have heard from most sisters ( or at least, the ones thatt I have talked to ) is that it is very hard to adjust to the life after that time ( although this is not the case for every one, hence the case to case basis most orders have ). Most of these woman have been living under there own authority and sunddenly changing to a community life of obiediance can be very hard. I know an order that used to accept older vocations, but after every woman over forty left before the end of the postulency, they re-enstated it.
August 16th, 2007 at 8:08 am
Sister,
I’d like to add that the Benedictine Sisters of Virginia (osbva.org) considers every single woman who knocks on the door on a case-by-case basis. Their goal is to listen to the Holy Spirit and discern a fit. I believe the oldest person they have, to date, accepted was 68. A 40ish woman with a vocation to religious, monastic life would be more than welcome to discern with this community.
August 16th, 2007 at 9:33 am
We, Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration (www.fspa.org), invite Catholic women of all origins and backgrounds to consider a vocation to religious life in our community. Membership is open to single Catholic women, ages 19-50, who want a deeper relationship with God and who seek community and a life of gospel service.
Dorothy Dunbar, FSPA
Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration
912 Market Street
La Crosse, WI 54601-8800
Telephone: 608-791-5608
Toll-free: 888-683-FSPA
Fax: 608-782-6301
E-mail: membership@fspa.org
August 16th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
I thought I would jump in here. My community, the Franciscan Sisters of the Sacred Heart in Frankfort, IL http://www.fssh.com accepts candidates on an individual basis up to 50-ish. Our current novice is “older.”
August 17th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
My congregation-the Ursulines accepts women over 40-our two recent entrants where 45 and 55-check us out on http://www.osueast.org and http://www.osucentral.org-We‘re part of the Roman Union USA Ursulines
August 17th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
The Benedictine Sisters of St. Scholastica Monastery in Fort Smith, AR accept women up to the age of 45.
August 18th, 2007 at 7:32 am
I believe that most or all of the 23 congregations belonging to the U.S. Federation of the Sisters of St. Joseph accept women in their 40’s. Some individual congregations within the Sisters of St. Joseph also accept women in their 50’s and 60’s.
http://www.sistersofsaintjosephfederation.org/
August 19th, 2007 at 8:02 am
Thanks for all the responses … keep them coming. It is a real help to those persons who are in the 40+ range.
Martha, Lily pretty much summed up the main reasons with her response. Being a nun is about one’s whole lifestyle, relationships, vision, and worldview. When a person is younger, these things tend to be much more fluid (generally speaking). The period of formation is a time to immerse oneself in these things and have the flexibility to make the community lifestlye, relationships, vision, and world view a part of one’s own—not getting rid of one’s own way of being, but wedding the two together, allowing them to mutually influence (”form”) one another. That being said, women who are “older” definitely have this capacity to be fluid and be formed though it might be a bit more challenging.
There are also other considerations that usually don’t apply with younger people. For example, I heard a couple older women say they want to join religious life as a kind of way to retire, that is, to spend the later phase of their life in peace and quiet in a place where they are “taken care of”. While such persons may have spiritual reasons as well, this idea of retiring as a reason for a vocation should be questioned. By far though, the older folks I’ve met and gotten to know are genuinely searching and discerning women. No matter what the “general rule” is, you must be true to your call and where God is leading you. You might be surprised!
Perhaps a person in formation work can jump in here and offer any other considerations regarding “older” women and vocations.
August 19th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
The Sisters of St Joseph of Peace (www.csjp.org) accept women age 20-50. Also we have been known to accept women over 50 on a case by case basis.
God calls us at different stages of our lives. There was a time when I, at 35, would have been considered a very late vocation and required a dispensation from the Vatican!!
August 19th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Greetings,
Sorry I didn’t reply sooner. On August 22nd I will have entered this congregation 14 years ago. I was 40. I now do vocation ministry for our congregation. Looking back over those years, we have had women enter who were younger than 40 and older than forty. Our stated upper age-limit is 45. There could be some reasons why we might make an exception.
Oops! I forgot to say we are the Dominican Sisters of San Rafael. Our website is http://www.sanrafaelop.org.
Peace, Pat
August 20th, 2007 at 1:51 am
Thank you for the answers Sisters. I appreciate them.
M
August 25th, 2007 at 10:22 am
I, too, would echo the general consensus that my community seems to look at individuals on a case-by-case basis. I am not aware of a strict cut-off age. I am a candidate with the Grand Rapids Dominicans, (in Michigan), and the two Sisters who entered (and stayed) before, I believe, were in their 40s and 50s at the time of entrance. I believe the thinking is much the same throughout most of the congregations of Dominican women in the US (with the exception of some of the more “traditional” communities such as Nashville and Ann Arbor).
August 29th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
It would seem to me that age is highly over rated. A woman over 40 has had time to live life, to experiment, and search long enough to know that what she is seeking cannot be found in a secular life. She is going in with “eyes wide open”, as opposed to the girl barely out of highschool carrying a lot of the angst typical of the under-30 crowd. Expectations are more realistic…and an awareness that nothing comes easily or automatically would give her “staying power” over the long haul.
Not to say that there aren’t lots of younger women who meet that criteria… Just making an observation from the older ladies I know myself.
Is this list just for cloistered Orders where nuns live in community? I would think that a third-order or oblate Religious life would suit many women perhaps burdened with family obligations or something. We have a couple of ladies in their almost-senior years as novices. http://www.oblates.net
September 3rd, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Greeting dear sister
it was very interesting to read you blog
i am at present 41 and discernig my vocation and walkiing with a community at the moment i have been looking fo 4 years now for the right type of comunity that i feel the lord has called me to,
i have discovered many novices here in the uk who are all over 40 in fact the large magority of vocations in the uk at the moment i believe are all late 30’s and over.
yes it is difficult for some women to adjust but perhaps they dont have a vocation. most of my fiends ind most of the adjustment easy with onl the odd thng a stumble for them for myself it is not the obedience but it is just like anything else getting used to ther people and there personalities and accepting each one for who they are and not who we want them or think they should be.
i find the ack of information available here in the uk a stumbling block as most people dont know where to begin when they start lookng and therefor can take them longer to find communties
i think women in there forties have much to give and a great deal still to learn . but most important i believe if the lord call who are we to hold someone back but really if it is the will of God then they willbe in the pace the lord has willed for them and there will be no barriers.
September 4th, 2007 at 12:47 am
Hi, got your name mixed up oops! I should have said - i was in a rush to get to meditation - I am Adele, a 41 yr old postulant in an enclosed Benedictine order in England, our novice Sr Mary Magdalen - see blog entry on this site - Teresa’s clothing, is also over 40. I have met communities in the past who didn’t take over 40’s their reasons were always as others have said about adjusting, though interestingly if you have already tested a vocation elsewhere age seems to matter less. Perhaps they think you know what you are letting yourself in for. Adele, St Mary’s Abbey Colwich England. We have our own blog at http://www.colwichnov.wordpress.com if you want to see more or check out our main site.
September 4th, 2007 at 7:29 am
[…] Surfing the Net and Blogs, Current News on the Nunfront, enclosure Thanks to a lovely comment on a recent post on this blog“, I have discovered the blog of the Dominican Nuns of Saint Mary’s Abbey in Colwich, an […]
September 4th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Just a reminder, the St. Mary’s Abbey at Colwich, UK is Benedictine, not Dominican!
September 6th, 2007 at 6:14 am
whoops! thanks for that! I made the correction in the original post (the above is a pingback).
September 6th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
I don’t know what their official policy is, but the Benedictine Sisters of Elizabeth in NJ (an active/contemplative order) take women past the age of 40. I believe their current novice is around 50.
September 7th, 2007 at 6:10 am
Thanks, deerose and everyone, for all the suggestions. Keep them coming. I get so many inquiries from folks over 40 who are interested in religious life — so this will be a great resource for them. You guys rock!
March 26th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Have you looked into the Domincian Sisters in Milwaukee WI of the Visitation Sisters in Toledo. I am 52 and am in communication with both, in fact in April I am going to Toledo for a Vocation Retreat.
May 17th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
This is a wonderful site for those of us being called to Religious life after age 40. However, most of the convents mentioned are not of the traditional convent, hence, no habits worn. I feel very strong that I am called to be in a convent that wears a habit. Is their more convents like Our Our Lady of the Rock that still wear the habit and are willing to accept women in their mid to late 40’s?
May 18th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Hi Charla, Thanks for writing. I hope others can respond to this because I’m not sure what the age limits are for other communities. I’ll also check in with some of my friends in other religious communities. Sister J.
May 18th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Charla-
I trust Sr. Julie’s skill and judgment more than my own, but I found this website with a listing of “more traditional” communities that wear habits. http://holyvocations.blogspot.com/2006/08/nuns-traditional-orders-and.html
I do not know their respective positions on age, although I did notice from other sites that many traditional Orders generally prefer applicants to be under 35 years of age.
I cannot vouch for this website, and hope that Sr. Julie would correct me if this response is inappropriate.
Best of prayers and blessings.
May 19th, 2008 at 5:26 am
Thanks, David. The blog post you linked to contains a number of links to religious communities that wear habits. While I do not agree with the blogger’s perspective on congregations that don’t wear the traditional habit, I still think his post and the readers’ comments are valuable.
Charla, I think you’ll have to check in with each community. Developing a relationship with the community is one of the most important things so that you can get to know one another and see if it “fits”. Though many have an age limit, they might be willing to discern with you.
May 19th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Dear Sister Julie,
While you and I agree on the habit issue (and, it seems, just about everything else), I want to say that I am particularly proud of your honesty and willingness to assist those persons with positions different than ours.
Ironically, such a catholic approach seems less common among those who self-identify as “Traditional Catholic,” than those who self-identify otherwise.
You continue to be awesome and a blessing to so many.
P.S.- Enjoying “My Monastery is a Minivan,” although I suspect my opinion differs from that of our “traditional habits should be mandatory” blogger.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Dear Sister Julie,
Thank you for your response. I did check out the web sites suggested. They all have an age limit of 30 or 35. Many convents sometimes do make exceptions. However, I do have a couple health problems that does limit me somewhat. I just can’t do physical labor for hours on end like I use to. With that said, I still have alot that I can do. I will be going to Our Lady of the Rock for discernment. I believe that it just may be the place for me, since God is guiding me in that direction. I would still like other names if anyone knows of other places.
For the record.. I do not have anything against religious orders who do not wear a habit. God Bless all Sisters who are serving God and their communities.
I now know why I never see Nuns anymore out and about.
I think this sign needs to be out there for all to see that our faith is alive a well and we are here to serve all.
Blessing,
Charla
May 27th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Charla:
I don’t know how old you are but the Benedictine Sisters of Elizabeth take older vocations. I’m not sure what the limit is but one presently in formation is 50. I would say the congregation is moderate-conservative-traditional and about half of the sisters wear habits, half don’t. It’s the choice of the sister either way. BTW, they are in NJ. You can google their site.
dee
May 28th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Deerose, Thank you! I looked at their web site and this will be one that I can check into. Thanks so much. God Bless,
Charla
June 3rd, 2008 at 5:47 am
Hello! I would like to know if there are vocations anywhere in the world that accept applicants 45 years old and of any nationality? Can speak, write and understand English, almost like a native? Felt a calling but too early to tell… Thanks…
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Dear Lyn, My post here and the comments people have left contain the most info that I know of about congregations that accept applicants age 45 and older.
I encourage you to get to know sisters, their community, and their way of life. Let them know about your calling. It’s difficult to discern a call to religious life in isolation or alone. Connect with them and see how God continues to call you.
There are many religious communities that have sisters of many nationalities and native languages. English-speaking communities do have non-native English-speaking sisters in their communities. Same is true for congregations with other languages as their primary language. Again, the best thing I can recommend is to get to know a community that you are attracted to and continue your prayerful discernment. Blessings to you, Lyn. Please let me know if I can help.
Sister Julie
June 4th, 2008 at 7:47 am
Thanks Sister Julie. Your fast reply is very reassuring. Yes, the calling is growing stronger, it gets a bit scary, but not frightful.
Thank you… I will be in touch.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I’m glad to help in whatever way I can. Know that the feelings of scariness are very normal for discernment. I was surprised as I was discerning to find that I had an intense attraction and resistance at exactly the same time. It wasn’t frightful either — just fearful in the biblical sense of encountering something, Someone, who is awesome. When I enter into discernment mode for other things now, I sense these two things but now I know it’s part of the Spirit helping me along.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Lyn, It helps a lot to speak to your Priest also. Your Priest may become or suggest another Priest to become your spiritual director. It is my understanding that what is suppose to happen is that through your parish you get a vocations director, but me being 48, no one is sending me to him. My priest however has been very helpful in what to look out for etc.. I tell my Priest what order I am looking into and he checks it out to make sure that it is alright, as there are orders out there who claim to be Catholic, but do not abide by or are in line with Rome.
God Bless. I will say a Rosary for your discernment. Charla
June 6th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Ah, well, I just stumbled across this site and I will send this for chuckle. Me? I’m 57. Also divorced. Alas. With grown kids. When I was very young I was so drawn to the Carthusians… and all of my life have felt such an enormous pull to that life. Down with the flu today I decided to Google them, just in case… oh dear.
I didn’t get to age issues.
Because of course one must be a VIRGIN. I am SO not a virgin.
I wasn’t married in the Church… and just out of curiosity, do divorced women become nuns ever? Meanwhile I think the thing for me to consider is a yurt, a bowl and a wooden spoon, a hard cot, an acre, and a spiritual advisor. Right? No?
Love to you all. And no disrespect to the beautiful Carthusians.
June 7th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Thanks for writing to me on my blog. Some congregations do accept folks over 40 … if you are drawn to that life but don’t want to or can’t become a full-fledged member, you could consider lay membership or associate membership. Don’t know much about how the Carthusians do this sort of thing but if you still feel drawn to it, check it out!
And, you don’t have to be a virgin to be a nun — you do have to be celibate. Divorced women can become nuns but if they were married in the Catholic Church then they have to have an annulment.
Blessings, Bekka. Hope you feel better.
Sister Julie
June 14th, 2008 at 6:35 am
I want to become a nun in the UK england
please help me where do i start
June 18th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Dear Anna,
I recommend you get in touch with religious communities in England. These are the ones that I know of off-hand …
Colwich Novitiate (Benedictine Nuns)
Institute of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Loretto Sisters)
Mercy Sisters of Great Britain
Dominican Sisters
Hope this helps … any other advice from my English Sisters?
Blessings, Anna.
Sister Julie