Hope: Fr. Martin, are there specific personality traits or threads that one discerning religious life should be aware of within herself? Are there any characteristics, thoughts, desires within a person that might be specific to religious life?
Father Martin: To answer your first question, I think that the most important thread in one’s life is that thread of desire, or a simple attraction, to a religious community. Now that might manifest itself, to take one way, through a lifelong attraction to a particular religious community, for example, if you always found yourself attracted to the Carmelites, the Dominicans, the Franciscans. (Or to the lives some of their more famous members, or their founders–like St. Therese of Lisieux or St. Teresa of Avila for the Carmelites; St. Dominic or St. Thomas Aquinas for the Dominicans; or St. Francis of Assisi or St. Clare for the Franciscans and Poor Clares.) So pay attention to the kinds of orders you have been attracted to over the course of your life.
Also, I think the one unique characteristic of attraction to the religious life, which is a little different than attraction to the married life, is that in the case of the married life, you’re attracted to one person, whereas in the case of the religious life you are attracted to a whole group of persons, who may be quite different from one another but who share a common charism, or spirit.
In the end it simply comes down to trusting that your deepest desires are simply God’s desires for you planted deep within you.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Hope 06.03.08 at 11:30 am
Thank you for your words of wisdom, Fr. Martin. I have certainly had an attraction to St. Therese of Liseux (The Little Flower). Her mantra, “Small things with great love,” has always spoken to me. Your thoughts have inspired me to go back to her chapter in your book and to her writings.
Your comment about attraction to whole groups of people rather than one person has me thinking. DId this play a large part in your discernment to the Priesthood? Also, it seems that this characteristic could also speak to “single” life. Can you speak to a possible difference in the push towards religious life?
Father Martin 06.03.08 at 12:46 pm
People who are attracted to religious orders are not only attracted by the spirit of the founder or foundress, but also to the communities, the real people, who live out that charism today. My own attraction to the Jesuits was in part based on the appeal of individual Jesuits who I met during my discernment process. The same with the priesthood: the priesthood seemed more attractive because of the wonderful individual priests who I met along the way. But really, the attraction to religious life and to the married life are remarkably similar, because they both begin with a deep-down desire; they are equally holy, as is the single life; and they are equally holy ways of living out our Christian discipleship.
susan rose, csjp 06.03.08 at 4:44 pm
I was originally attracted to the charism of my community - working for peace through justice. But then I met the Sisters and saw that they were so faith filled and happy. Then I learned about our founder and so much made sense. I think everyone’s experience is different, but just like when you meet the person you’re supposed to marry, when you know you know.