Karen: Father Martin - I’ve been enjoying the conversation all day today and it has given me much needed breaks of sanity during my work day. I was wondering if you could comment on the reaction your family, friends and business associates had when you told them about your decision to leave the business world and become a priest? Thanks very much for your wonderful comments and for posting chapter 4 of your book.
Father Martin: Oh, my parents hit the roof, my friends thought I was nuts (literally) and my business colleagues thought I was throwing away a good career. That’s a big part of my vocation story, not only because I had to deal with all of that (which was entirely understandable since I hadn’t shared any of my desires with them) but also because they all came to support my decision, and really celebrate it. All of my family, most of my friends and many of my friends from my business days were there both at my vows and my ordination!
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
susan rose, csjp 06.03.08 at 4:41 pm
I got a wide variety of reactions when I told people I was becoming a Sister. Interestingly my Catholic friends had the hardest time with it, while my non-religious friends were the most supportive at first. I’ve puzzled about why that was. I think it has something to do with issues with institutional church on behalf of my Catholic friends - and past images of nuns. As to my supportive non-religious friends, I think they because they didn’t have that history and could just see that I was happy and at peace with decision.
I’ve really loved this blog visit … great idea! And a wonderful book.
Peace,
Sr. Susan Rose
Katherine Cook 06.03.08 at 10:22 pm
Father Martin,
On this topic, could you give any advice on speaking with parents about a religious vocation? I am in college, so my parents have expressed a multitude of doubts because they do not think I have “experienced” enough yet. Combined with the fact that there are few active sisters in our area and the community that I am discerning with is all the way across the country, I know this is hard on them. Still, it would be nice to have their unconditional support, so I wondered if you had any ideas.
Also, my vocational director recommended that I read your book “My Life with the Saints” and I am so glad that I did! I am an English major with an emphasis in Victorianism, so it is rare that I pick up a current book and find it as compelling as yours.
Katherine
hoyasaxa 06.04.08 at 12:11 pm
Hi Katherine,
I just saw your post, so I don’t know if you’ll check the blog again, but just in case you do…
I’m also a college student discerning religious life. It’s only been in these past few months that I’ve worked up the courage to say ‘yes’ to God, and since I’m spending the semester abroad, I’m waiting until I go back home to tell my parents. I have no idea how they’ll react, and honestly I’m nervous. I’ve been trying to take it one day at a time, but it can be hard!
Maybe we could be in touch by email? At the very least, let’s pray for eachother!
Kelsey — ke39 (at) georgetown (dot) edu
PS. I loved “My Life with the Saints” too!
Sister Julie 06.04.08 at 1:49 pm
Hi Katherine, Father Martin is over at The Dawn Patrol today and will be with The Anchoress on Thursday and Happy Catholic on Friday. I encourage you to visit those blogs and ask Father Martin your question.
My humble two-cents on the topic of parental and family support — Yes, it can be very tough. I don’t know that I’ve met anyone whose parents and/or family have embraced it unconditionally. Ultimately loved ones want the best for us, and the idea of religious life is something they need to get used to because it’s not a widely popular thing nor is it understood well. It takes time for them to realize that you are still going to be the same daughter, sister, friend … only more you than ever! That’s what I told my family was that religious life was helping me to shine, to be fully myself, not box me in or limit me. Over time, they saw that, and they had the opportunity to meet IHM sisters, get to know them and feel comfortable with them.
And Kelsey, There’s no getting around that initial, “Mom, Dad, there’s something I have to tell you,” but the awkwardness will pass.
Remember, this is a call that you must live into with your whole heart and soul. God is faithful and will be with you through this and give you the strength to hang in there. And God will give you the words to help you articulate your desire to your loved ones. It’s not easy, but be patient with them and yourself. It’s worth it!
Sister Julie
Katherine Cook 06.05.08 at 10:42 pm
Thanks for the response Sister Julie. I know that it really does take time for family to understand these things - for instance, when I changed my major in my freshman year of college to something that I love but was less likely to develop into a definite job upon graduation, my parents went through the roof. A year and a half later, they are still getting used to it, but the shock has subsided for the most part. A life-long decision like this is bound to require a little more time to settle! Something about me being the oldest and the only daughter seems to be especially tough on them though.
And Kelsey, in case you check back, I would love to correspond with you! I sent you an email already.
hoyasaxa 06.07.08 at 2:06 pm
Hi Katherine! I think something might be wrong with that email account…would you mind trying kelseyelder@gmail.com ? Thanks!