hoyasaxa: Hi Father Martin, First of all, thank you for your visit to this blog, I’m looking forward to following the conversation throughout the day.
Based on Sister Julie’s question about your vocation to the Jesuits in particular, I was wondering if you had any advice on sorting through the truly vast number and variety of religious communities out there. The idea of “shopping” for just the right “fit” in a congregation makes me a bit uncomfortable, but sometimes that’s how it feels!
Sister Julie also brought up that great moment when Thomas Merton was asked if he had come to Gethsemani to stay…for me it was his “terrified” reaction that really struck a chord! In the process of discerning a vocation to religious life, fear has been a big struggle for me. There’s fear of commitment, of losing control, of making the “wrong” decision, of family and friends’ potential reactions to such a decision, etc. How do you prevent these fears from becoming paralyzing without simply ignoring them?
Thanks again, Father Martin!
Father Martin: Thanks. Great to be here! 1a. The variety of religious congregations can be dizzying at times, but I think the easiest way to start is to think about which one really makes you excited about religious life, which one includes those religious men and women to whom you have felt the closest bond, and which one has the “charism”, or governing spirit, that seems to fit your own spirituality best. You also have to trust in God’s Providence in looking back over your life and seeing which groups you have come into contact with. That is, which groups did God place along your journey? And then spend time with the community and see if it fits you. And if you fit them. And trust that God will help you make a good decision.
1b. Fear is a natural reaction for many reasons. First of all, it’s the fear of the unknown. Second, it’s the fear of, as you say, making the “wrong decision.” And third, it’s the kind of fear Pete showed at the miraculous catch of fish, as he stood before Jesus: fear in the presence of the divine. For the first fear, it’s good to remind ourselves that change and growth are a natural part of human life, and that the unknown can be wonderful! For the second fear, you have to remember that if God is leading you to this decision, it will be for the benefit for both you and your friends and family. In other words, trust in God’s plans, and, as Jeremiah says, that God’s plans for you are for comfort and peace. Following your “call” will bring new life to everyone–not just you. Thirdly, fear in the presence of the divine, which is manifested in your case in the call from God (or initial attraction) is something that will ultimately lead you closer to God, closer to other human beings, and closer to a life of joy and love. So while a healthy fear of God is good, remember also that God wants you to be happy, and to be closer to Him!
In the end, as Jesus says, “Fear not!”
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Tina 06.03.08 at 8:29 am
Hi
Father Martin, what does one do if they have “missed” God’s calling? Is it possible to be called and not recognize it until it is too late?
Thanks
Father Martin 06.03.08 at 9:05 am
I think that it is possible to believe that one had, earlier in life, felt a call to a particular vocation, like the priesthood or religious life, and moved away from it. But it is important to recognize that God’s call remains throughout our whole life. In fact, God is calling us to something new every day. So the more important question is not so much, “What if?” but rather “What now?” What is God calling me to, in my current situation, and current circumstances, today? For example, if you are married, or too old to enter a religious order or the priesthood, then the question is: How is God calling you to be a good Christian in your current life? Because it is very easy for all of us to get stuck with thoughts of “If only,” and miss the call that God has for you today, in this moment.
Tina 06.03.08 at 10:17 am
It is so ironic that you use the phrase “What now?” I attend Mass at the Newman Center of the university I attend and at the last Mass before the semester ended, Father B’s gospel question was “What now?” which is what started me on the idea that maybe God had called me and in typical clueless fashion, I missed it. So your answer makes me feel a great deal better.
So what are some good saints for college students?
Father Martin 06.03.08 at 11:09 am
Well, you know, I think that depends on the college student! A more contemplative college student might like St. Therese of Lisieux or Blessed Julian of Norwich. Amore active college student might light Dorothy Day, who is in the saint-track now, or St. Francis Xavier. Some students might like saints that come from their ethnic background. But some good younger saints, beside St. Therese, would be people like St. Aloysius Gonzaga, who died while caring for plague victims; Saint Francis of Assisi, who had to make some important decisions in his youth; and Pier Giorgio Frassati, one of our newest saints. But I think, most of all, it depends of your temperament!