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Encouraging children who express interest in a vocation
I recently received a question from Missi about encouraging young children who express an interest in religious life.
How do you reach out to young children who consider becoming a nun a goal? If there’s a young child out there who would consider it, then how does a parent help aspire that child?
This is a great question, Missi. I had a similar question in my mind as I was writing my Permit Me to Rant post. How can parents and adults today encourage children to be open to religious life if they are continually given images from society that show religious in stereotypical and false ways? And if religious aren’t über visible like they used to be, how can religious make a real impression — visible or otherwise?
I think first the Church and religious need to be proactive about educating Catholics about the beauty and diversity of religious life. Too often we get stuck in Catholic lingo and go on and on about “vocations to the priesthood and religious life” but never really put that in ordinary language that people can recognize themselves in. I never once was struck by a vocation talk at parish — inspired by the good work of religious, clerics, and missionaries, Yes; but able to relate it to my own life, No. Then again, the pulpit and classroom are not the only places to talk about consecrated life. The best of course is to interact in a real way with religious and folks living other vocations.
Young children should always be encouraged to consider all kinds of possibilities for life. If they want to “play priest”, help them to do it and understand how priests serve God and God’s people. If they want to run an orphanage using their stuffed animals and action figures, help them to see how people give their whole lives to help others in need. I’m not talking formal vocation talks to little ones, but to encourage their imagination to embrace all different sorts of ways of living their faith, of being of service to others. Parents do this in all sorts of ways by how they live their own life and model such behavior. If children have direct interest in religious sisters, brothers, lay leaders, deacons, priests, etc. then I’d suggest setting up a time when kids can interact with them, talk to them, anything to help the child know a real person who has given their lives to that vocation. And check out your local Catholic book store for books for little ones about Catholic life and vocations — Pauline Books and Media (Daughters of Saint Paul nuns) is a great place for such things.
Many of you reading are parents and Catholic primary school/parish teachers who may have bumped up against this question. You’ve got a ton of wisdom — what are your thoughts on this? How do we encourage young children who express an interest in a vocation?
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Some thoughts ( may meander a bit – still try and stay on the path – it eventually leads somewhere :>)
* A key is to talk openly about the religious life in the home from an early age just like and other life choice. Allow as many options for a “look into” from the early age of curiosity all they way through college age ( of course discussion can go beyond the college years but the focus here is on younger people).
Explore in greater depth -the child’s age/maturity level taken into account- the various religious vocations.
For example, I watched Little People Big World and the father Matt – a Little Person- took his son – Zack- also a little person- to various places to meet Little People in various professions : Law Professor, Submarine/Ship mechanic, etc. Simply, allowing the young man to ” see the opportunities” available for him. There was not recommendation that that one job vs another job was better or worse. He simply layed out there the awareness of possibilities.
* If the parent or relative “sees” something about a child that may point to a vocation in the religious life —suggest the youngster take a look into exploring the vocation further. (If you are not the parent …maybe a good idea to broach this topic with the parents first if you feel they may cop an attitude).
An example in my own life: I’m a middle aged baby boomer – - -yeah, I’m one of those people- – -And, I was talking to my aunt (now in her mid 80′s) about the state of the priesthood. She ends up saying ,”You know when you were a teenager I felt you had a calling to the priesthood.” but never said anything.
Ugh. The time to let a youngster know about your “sense” of a vocation is “then and there”. I was seeking and flopping about how/what to pursue in life/college during the teen years. The priest vocation wasn’t even on my radar. If I was told I cant say things would have turned out differently…but thinking back…I’d probably would have said ” I never thought about that…Why do you say that Aunt ___?…” and would have explored further.
* Allow and seek out opportunities for children/teens/young adults to see and experience religious as people with every day lives integrated into their vocations. This is very important. In this manner, the kids will see the priests, brothers, sisters, etc as “different and yet the same” as other people. Make sense?
Ex: I read in the Diocese of Lansings “Faith” Magazine a section on priests. In particular was a story about a pastor in Brighton. The story showed photos of the priest on a tread mill, with his dog and did an interview with him.
After seeing the pictures and reading, I thought to myself …Gee, I didn’t know “that” and outside of his priestly ministry . he’s a regular guy.
So, this made clear to me that while priests/sisters/etc have a certain role/position within the church… these people are not “out there” with unspoken yet commmunicated nonetheless clarity that they are “different” in a negative sense – - -but that these are people that : get up, go to work, read books, watch tv, enjoy sports, go on the internet, have blogs, etc.
* And, finally ( yes we’re almost out of the woods, still with me?) let your child know that if they have a strong inclination to the religious life that you will encourage, support and be there for them.
Love them enough to let them go…to be what they are called to be.
I completely agree that the negative images of sisters in the media, or in everyday life in general, are a major hindrance in getting young people to consider a vocation to religious life. Why would someone want to grow up to be giddy, mind-controlled, mean or simply uncool? It just isn’t attractive. If young girls were to think of sisters rather as normal, committed, spiritual/religious professional women serving God and man, religious life would be a much more compelling choice.
What can sisters do about this? As I have mentioned before, I believe they need to interact more with the general public. Here are a few suggestions:
-Have sisters give presentations at career fairs at local schools (Catholic and public). If the sister is a nurse, she can talk about her educational background, job prospects in the field, salary and the everyday tasks of performing her job. If she is a counsellor, she can present on that. If she works in publishing (smiles), she can demonstrate to the students what it is like to work in that field.
-Sisters could become members of local clubs/organizations. If a sister is interested in history, she can join the town historical society. If she has a passion for environmental issues, she can join the township environmental organization. If the sister is an artist, she can join the local arts club/center and volunteer at gallery openings. If a sister likes cycling (smiles), she can join the local cycling club.
My point is that sisters need to show people that they are normal and sometimes even extraordinary human beings. Nothing substitutes for a first-hand experience.
dee
A disincentive I often hear is not so much about a nun’s life per se, but about “the patriarchal church;” a hesitancy to being subject to, and a part of it.
The diversity of opinions, beliefs and activity within the church is often not appreciated. This is true for many religions, but probably more for Catholicism with its very institutionalized hierarchy and papacy.
Sr. Joan Chittester has spoken and written often as to dissent within her faithful vocation.
A nice profile of her, where she briefly addresses this issue can be found at: http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2004-07-20-sister-joan_x.htm and her own website: http://www.benetvision.org
Of course, Sr. Chittester is not “everyone’s cup of tea,” but even her “notoriety” is a testament to the breadth of The Church.
David:
Thanks for the article. It was great. I love and admire Sr. Joan. I consider her a prophet of sorts.
The patriarchal aspect of the Church is often very difficult for me to stomach personally. And I imagine that be the case for women (as opposed to children who may not be aware of it) considering the religious life. A number of nuns I know have a problem with this patriarchal/clerical culture. Although I don’t see that changing anytime soon, there are some inroads being made regarding womens’ roles in the Church. Also, I do remember reading about Sr. Christine’s/Joan’s ordeal regarding the Womens’ Ordination Conference mentioned in the article you cited. It is very edifying to me that the Vatican kept quiet in spite of Joan’s attending. So there is hope …
dee
I read the link from David regarding Sr. Joan .
Respectfully to the Sister, regardless of her idealism, to put it bluntly – women priests “ain’t gonna happen” because it can not happen just as Pope John Paul II stated.
The Catechism of The Catholic Church states with respect to Holy Orders:
” VI. WHO CAN RECEIVE THIS SACRAMENT?
1577 “Only a baptized man (vir) validly receives sacred ordination.”[66] The Lord Jesus chose men (viri) to form the college of the twelve apostles, and the apostles did the same when they chose collaborators to succeed them in their ministry.[67] The college of bishops, with whom the priests are united in the priesthood, makes the college of the twelve an ever-present and ever-active reality until Christ’s return. The Church recognizes herself to be bound by this choice made by the Lord himself. For this reason the ordination of women is not possible.[68] “
Thanks for the links and commentaries … Any other thoughts on encouraging children to religious life?