Comments on: IHM Novice talks about discerning a vocation http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/ Catholic Sisters and Nuns in Today's World Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:24:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: JNET http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-24827 JNET Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:04:44 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-24827 Thank you for the video in sharing your thoughts about vocation, the great consideration one takes in choosing a contemplative life and the sensitivity to family expectation when choosing a community life. I can only imagine that following one's heart and finding blessing in an extended family can only further bless one's blood family.... whether one is following a path of vocation or otherwise. Thank you for the video in sharing your thoughts about vocation, the great consideration one takes in choosing a contemplative life and the sensitivity to family expectation when choosing a community life.

I can only imagine that following one’s heart and finding blessing in an extended family can only further bless one’s blood family…. whether one is following a path of vocation or otherwise.

]]> By: deerose http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22449 deerose Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:33:42 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22449 Thank you. That sheds a little bit more light on it. I suppose that if an only child enters the convent, though, it is even more important for the singleton to see how a given order would deal with such things than it would be for a woman with a sibling or two. As parents, we have a responsbility to our children. And although most of us don't like to have to ask much in return, we may have to some day as we age. I've known a few Sisters of St. Joseph who had family issues they needed to tend to and were allowed to take leave. I have no idea whether they were able to tap into any community financial resources to help their parents though. Once again, I suppose that it depends on the issue and the wealth of the community. Politics and connections may play a role too. I'm thinking sisters communities are in some way not much different than other organizations in this respect. dm Thank you. That sheds a little bit more light on it. I suppose that if an only child enters the convent, though, it is even more important for the singleton to see how a given order would deal with such things than it would be for a woman with a sibling or two. As parents, we have a responsbility to our children. And although most of us don’t like to have to ask much in return, we may have to some day as we age. I’ve known a few Sisters of St. Joseph who had family issues they needed to tend to and were allowed to take leave. I have no idea whether they were able to tap into any community financial resources to help their parents though. Once again, I suppose that it depends on the issue and the wealth of the community. Politics and connections may play a role too. I’m thinking sisters communities are in some way not much different than other organizations in this respect. dm

]]> By: Sister Julie http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22446 Sister Julie Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:38:55 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22446 It varies across communities as to how involved a religious sister or brother can be involved in the care of older and/or sick siblings or parents. In some cases, religious have limited access to family whether because of being cloistered or because of distance or some custom of the community. In other cases, religious have more freedom to be involved in the care of family or people who are as close as family. Communities deal with these things as they occur. In some cases, congregations have the resources (e.g., money, facilities, etc.) to be able to help care for close family, and in some cases we don't. Just like a non-nun only child, a nun has to consider all of her responsibilities such as job/ministry, finances, parish/community, etc. There are no easy choices or situations, but as a religious community we try our best to help one another and our sisters' loved ones. It varies across communities as to how involved a religious sister or brother can be involved in the care of older and/or sick siblings or parents. In some cases, religious have limited access to family whether because of being cloistered or because of distance or some custom of the community. In other cases, religious have more freedom to be involved in the care of family or people who are as close as family. Communities deal with these things as they occur. In some cases, congregations have the resources (e.g., money, facilities, etc.) to be able to help care for close family, and in some cases we don’t. Just like a non-nun only child, a nun has to consider all of her responsibilities such as job/ministry, finances, parish/community, etc. There are no easy choices or situations, but as a religious community we try our best to help one another and our sisters’ loved ones.

]]> By: Jill, ihm http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22445 Jill, ihm Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:22:45 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22445 Thanks, Julie, for inviting me to comment. Hi Mary and deerose, First of all, a disclaimer: I don’t pretend to speak for all who are only children out there, and I can’t really answer some of the theoretical questions you raise because, obviously, different people have different experiences and relationships. I can speak only of my own experience, which has been blessed with a wonderful extended family and friends. The idea of family responsibilities is a valid concern and I’m not under any delusion that as my parents age, I will take on some caretaking responsibilities. But it’s not where I am at this point. I don’t know what the future holds, and I am living the life I am meant to, and that means being on the path to vows with the IHM community. I am confident I will have the support of my sisters-in community if/when the day comes that I need to be more attentive to my parents. The thing about discernment is, it’s about what makes sense in the here and now: is this the most life giving path for me, to find God , with this community? The family concerns are real no matter what life path I chose, so I’m not dismissing the question. I trust that I will have the support from my community that I need if/when the time comes that I need to spend more energy and attention with my parents. As far as relationships with friends and extended family is concerned, I am blessed with close ties, both within my blood family and a ‘chosen family’ of dear friends. And I am fortunate to have been ‘adopted’ for holidays by my wonderful sisters and their extended families. So I in no way feel deprived or disconnected. ~Sr. Jill Thanks, Julie, for inviting me to comment.

Hi Mary and deerose,

First of all, a disclaimer: I don’t pretend to speak for all who are only children out there, and I can’t really answer some of the theoretical questions you raise because, obviously, different people have different experiences and relationships. I can speak only of my own experience, which has been blessed with a wonderful extended family and friends.

The idea of family responsibilities is a valid concern and I’m not under any delusion that as my parents age, I will take on some caretaking responsibilities. But it’s not where I am at this point. I don’t know what the future holds, and I am living the life I am meant to, and that means being on the path to vows with the IHM community. I am confident I will have the support of my sisters-in community if/when the day comes that I need to be more attentive to my parents.

The thing about discernment is, it’s about what makes sense in the here and now: is this the most life giving path for me, to find God , with this community? The family concerns are real no matter what life path I chose, so I’m not dismissing the question. I trust that I will have the support from my community that I need if/when the time comes that I need to spend more energy and attention with my parents.

As far as relationships with friends and extended family is concerned, I am blessed with close ties, both within my blood family and a ‘chosen family’ of dear friends. And I am fortunate to have been ‘adopted’ for holidays by my wonderful sisters and their extended families. So I in no way feel deprived or disconnected.

~Sr. Jill

]]> By: Sister Julie http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22434 Sister Julie Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:50:50 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22434 Good questions, friends. Let me check in with Jill and see if she'll stop by and comment. Thanks. Good questions, friends. Let me check in with Jill and see if she’ll stop by and comment. Thanks.

]]> By: deerose http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22433 deerose Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:48:03 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22433 Mary and others: Yes, this was one of my concerns too. Plus, from my experience, sisters with siblings often go to family for various events, visits, vacations ... and always the holidays. If a sister that is an only child, and therefore didn't marry and have her own children/family, has nowhere to go, does another sister usually take her to her family? Do they look out for each other like that? Some sisters I've observed are a bit disconnected this way. Also, it seems close family usually gets priority. If an only child has no close family, but has a few close friends or cousins, can she visit them on a sort of "priority" basis? I'm not sure that I'm clear, but an example would be that a sibling is gravely ill and the sister gets two weeks leave to care for her. The sister without any siblings has a VERY close friend (like a sibling) who is gravely ill, can she take leave to care for her or is it not allowed generally because they are not blood relatives? dee Mary and others:

Yes, this was one of my concerns too. Plus, from my experience, sisters with siblings often go to family for various events, visits, vacations … and always the holidays. If a sister that is an only child, and therefore didn’t marry and have her own children/family, has nowhere to go, does another sister usually take her to her family? Do they look out for each other like that? Some sisters I’ve observed are a bit disconnected this way.

Also, it seems close family usually gets priority. If an only child has no close family, but has a few close friends or cousins, can she visit them on a sort of “priority” basis? I’m not sure that I’m clear, but an example would be that a sibling is gravely ill and the sister gets two weeks leave to care for her. The sister without any siblings has a VERY close friend (like a sibling) who is gravely ill, can she take leave to care for her or is it not allowed generally because they are not blood relatives? dee

]]> By: Mary http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22429 Mary Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:02:25 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22429 I thought there would be a bit of discussion about one's family responsibilities when one is an only child. How will the responsibility to take care of elder parents occur? For many people this becomes a shared responsibility for the children to assume. Is this something the entire community shares with the individual? When you have a really old parent (and this is the trend), someone has to step up to managing their finances, giving them additional money if necessary, and sometimes take them in to live with them. I thought there would be a bit of discussion about one’s family responsibilities when one is an only child. How will the responsibility to take care of elder parents occur? For many people this becomes a shared responsibility for the children to assume. Is this something the entire community shares with the individual? When you have a really old parent (and this is the trend), someone has to step up to managing their finances, giving them additional money if necessary, and sometimes take them in to live with them.

]]> By: Sue http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22397 Sue Thu, 29 Jan 2009 02:46:35 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22397 Jill, You provided wonderful information,thanks for talking about your discernment.Best of everything to you!!! Jill,
You provided wonderful information,thanks for talking about your discernment.Best of everything to you!!!

]]> By: Jill, ihm http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22371 Jill, ihm Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:26:57 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22371 thanks Sharon! thanks Sharon!

]]> By: Sharon http://anunslife.org/2009/01/28/ihm-novice-discerning-vocation/#comment-22366 Sharon Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:05:49 +0000 http://anunslife.org/?p=1304#comment-22366 Very nicely done , I would be proud to have a daughter like you ! Very nicely done , I would be proud to have a daughter like you !

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