In yesterday’s post on 4 Steps for Discernment and Decision-Making, Sister Mary noted in Step 2 that you can create a kind of chart to help you figure out how you feel about a decision that you have to make.
I thought I’d give you an example of what that chart might look like for the question, Should I go to graduate school or not?
The pros and cons don’t have to seem like significant reasons, they just have to be important to us. I remember when I had to choose a high school, I ended up going to one because their basketball uniforms looked more cool than the other school’s. Now it wasn’t my only reason, but that desire encapsulated for me all that I felt about the school and that I could envision myself in that school, with those people, and, of course, in that uniform!
Try making a chart for yourself. Consider something in your life that requires you to make a decision. It might be big, it might be small. Try it out and be attentive to the guidance that Sister Mary gives on discernment. Let us know how it goes.
What questions or observations do you have for Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM, in preparation for our online discussion with Sister Mary this Sunday, February 15, from 7-9 p.m. EST?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
This works. It really really works. Last summer, I was faced with two equally compelling opportunities, but it was impossible for me to do both—I couldn’t be in Philadelphia and San Francisco on the same weekend!! So, at the suggestion of a good friend, I did a ‘pro/con’ chart like the one above. And seeing my reasons on paper really helped to make it clear where I needed to be for that weekend. It allowed me to own my decision, and to be certain that I was making the right choice for the right reasons.
A few questions:
1) Why is there a Call? How do you know if it is valid? What are some characteristics of a Call?
2) What are some characteristics of a good discernment to religious life?
3) How do you know you will be happy in religious life?
Thanks!
Pax Tibi,
Discerninglife25
Thanks, Sister Jill! I remember way back when I was discerning and Sister Mary told me about the chart. One of the best things I ever learned. I find it helpful in a variety of decision-making situations.
Good questions, DL25. Will pass those along to Sister Mary.
My only caveat about a pro/con chart is to bear in mind that it is not the number of items on each list or the length of the list but the quality and value of the items on the list. In other words, I have found that I may only have two or three pros on a list and twice or three times as many cons but the value of the two pros so outweighs the cons that it is clear that I should do whatever it is I am discerning/evaluating.
Peace,
Lisa
Good observation, Lisa. You’re absolutely right.
I just recently spent time with an order three days, it was a beautiful retreat… I felt very at home and very peaceful, while praying for two hours one night, I didn’t want to leave!
I have and still am discerning now my third year…
I feel if I never try religious life.. i will always wonder if I would have been truly called?
does this make any sense??
I am 21 years old and am graduating in one year.
I would like to join an order once I am done with school.
Computers are not my forte, so I’ll try again . . .
I have always loved nuns and often thought this would be the life for me. My atheist father and agnostic mother who sent me to Lutheran Sunday school would laugh. I wasn’t entirely joking.
And neither was God. Working on a graduate degree in social work, I was quietly but firmly called to the Roman Catholic Church. I am very well versed in the language of science and arguments of logic over the supernatural. I was called. My parents, by the way, came from out of state to witness and support my confirmation. Suddenly, being a nun wasn’t so out of the question.
I think I’m more a retreat kind of person, after all. But have immense respect and admiration for the sisters I have known, finding them to be intelligent, creative, open and thoroughly devoted to God’s work.
I continue to work to connect my vocation (social work) with the peace I find in God. Sometimes, it is quite a struggle. The presence of sisters in this world reminds me why I chose this work (and it chose me). Please know that this less-than-Religious, cigarette smoking, coffee guzzling, aging hippie is grateful and supportive of everything you are and do. Amen (hope this posting sticks this time)