Lay people will often become oblates or associates of a religious community in order to tap into this type of bond. I think there are groups of lay people with/without vowed religious that do make lifelong commitments.

I’ll have to think on suggestions around the “older” group. Maybe I’ll write a post about it so that we can hear from lots of people.

I am 42 and single and intrigued by religious life, too. Although at the moment I don’t feel like it’s what I’m called to, I continue to be intrigued enough by the idea that I poke around orders’ websites and nuns’ blogs wondering if maybe something will really catch my attention (I check in on yours almost every day!). As you suggest to Cathy, I do ask myself what it is that attracts me, and you captured it incredibly well in a recent post (March 27: Sisterhood — Catholic Sisters and Nuns). These items from your larger list are what I yearn for (actually I could have easily kept all of them, but I think these are the ones that really capture how I feel):

– being part of something bigger than yourself, bigger than the sum total of individuals
– falling in love with God and mission, and falling in love with how God and mission are expressed in your sisters
– sharing the deepest things of the Spirit with another sister or group of sisters
– praying together, laughing together, grieving together, working together
– the sparkle in the eye of a sister that lets you know that all will be well
– mentoring one another in religious life, ministry, and prayer
– having a common history and shared core values
– daring and risking together for the sake of the Gospel
– becoming more yourself than ever
– relating to one another with great tenderness
– being in real, tangible community even when ministry takes you to away from your sisters
– being held up by your sisters’ prayer when you can’t find the strength to pray
– working through disagreements, misunderstandings, failings without forgetting that we belong to one another and to Christ
– being willing to lay down your life for your sister

So I then ask myself how to get those desires met if I don’t join an order. I haven’t found the answers. But it sounds as if I’m not the only one looking for those answers. I believe that some of it will come through greater involvement in my parish. In fact, for the Easter Triduum, I did walk out feeling like I had just been a part of something much bigger than myself that was really good. I think others find these needs met through lay movements, but what I’ve found so far doesn’t hold much appeal to me. I’m finishing up a four-year adult religious education program. We went through the program as a cohort, so I’ve developed deep friendships with several other women, and I’m grateful for the wonderful gift that’s been. Still, though, I find myself yearning for deeper spiritual friendships. And so I continue to poke around orders’ websites, wondering…

Do you have suggestions? Do you know what the suggestions have been for the “older” group that you mention who consider religious life? How do we, as lay people, build the types of bonds that you have with your sisters?

Thanks!

You Dominican sisters are amazing…that’s why I hope to be one of you one day

We have a doctor in our community. Sr. Mary Flood, OP specializes in infectious diseases at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital, where she works with many patients who have TB or are HIV/AIDS positive. She also has a private general practice at our Motherhouse. Last year, she was named as one of the best doctors in New York by New York Times Magazine. Her sister, who is also in the community, is a nurse. In many communities, there is room for just about any ministry profession. It is not about what you do, but how you do it.