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Out of the Deep
During Advent, members of the A Nun’s Life community will be posting reflections on the Jesse Tree and the O Antiphons.
Day 1 :: Creation written by Regina
But the earth became chaos and emptiness, and darkness came over the face of the Deep – yet the Spirit of God was brooding over the surface of the waters. — Genesis 1:2
A few years ago I was on vacation at Lake George with my then-husband. We had a boat, and on a beautiful, clear day we were skipping along the top of the lake without a care in the world, until I started to have a panic attack. Seemingly out of nowhere, I felt like the water of the lake would swallow me up, down, down, down into the Deep.
Maybe you know that feeling, like the water, the world, your job, your responsibilities are so chaotic, so tumultuous, that you’re going to be swallowed entirely. You think to yourself, “I can’t go on like this! There must be a change!” You cry out to God, “Save me! Hear my cry!”
The Psalmist knows that feeling. In Psalm 130 he writes, “Out of the depths I cry to you, God! God, hear my voice!” John Rutter, the British composer, set this Psalm to music as part of his Requiem. Take a listen.
Whenever I listen to it, I think of the Creation story, of the tehom, chaotic and formless, and how it is the very Source of Life, the ruach Elohim , the Breath, the Spirit of God that calls forth life from within the chaos, and life Becomes.
And so it is with us, in our own chaotic and sometimes formless lives, that we cry out to God from our own Deep and the Spirit of God comes to us and calls forth Something New. Where we knew pain and devastation, there is a spark of joy and creation.
A great criticism of the so-called “holiday season” is that there is too much chaos, too much to do, too many responsibilities and too often we don’t stop enough to truly enjoy it. As we enter into Advent fully on this first day of December, I could tell you exactly the same thing. I could tell you to cull your to-do list and rethink your commitments and tell you to stop and smell the poinsetta. Or, you could do what I’m learning to do:
Embrace the tehom.
In the chaos, feel the Breath of God upon you, stirring you to life, bringing you into Becoming, as we await the blessed hope and the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
* * Want to revisit the other symbols of Advent? Click here on Jesse Tree. * *
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{ 3 comments }
Thank you for this great reflection, Regina! It makes me think about my own experiences with chaos, especially the difference between entering the chaos that is frantic activity vs. entering the chaos that is mystery. The latter helps me find my spiritual center and gives meaning to the activity in my life, no matter how frantic it feels.
Lots to think about Regina. many thanks
Great reflection – thank you. I find that it’s only when I’m utterly overwhelmed that I can finally stop because I have to – there is no choice. I throw up my hands and say “whatever!” and allow things to unfold with or without me, and then I pick up the pieces and go on. Maybe its human nature that we have to be forced to stop and be broken, so that we can allow the breath of God in – He never forces it on us. However, when I look back at times of great stess or periods where my life seemed to be spiraling out of control, I can see great growth too – maybe that is part of the mystery. We hate chaos yet sometime its the fertile ground of growth – with or without our involvement.