Welcome back today’s guest blogger — Sister Lynne Smith, OSB, a member of the inclusive Benedictine community, Benedictine Women of Madison, at Holy Wisdom Monastery in Madison, WI. Sister Lynne was our guest on a recent Ask Sister podcast so be sure to listen in!

Someone asked me recently if I felt I had to give up a lot to become a sister. Something in me resists thinking about religious life in terms of giving something up. The question might come from the image of monks “leaving the world” to live in the desert or from the image of religious life as made up of strict ascetical practices.

To be sure, one does give up some things to enter a community and there is asceticism involved in religious life. The practice of asceticism is different in each order. For Benedictines, living in community with our promises of stability, obedience and conversion of life is the asceticism. The rub of daily life and living patiently with our own and one another’s weaknesses is asceticism enough!

My aim of seeking God through Benedictine life leads me to make choices that might seem to others to be loss. For me, those choices help me be available to God and others. I find it helpful to think about entering religious life as a change of lifestyle just as marriage is a change of lifestyle. One exchanges one way of living for another. The change involves some loss as well as gain and it takes time to adjust to the new way of living.

Religious life is about pursuing your heart’s desire. It’s like falling in love. When you fall in love with someone and start spending more time with him or her, you give up some of the ways you used to spend your time. In the process, you gain the love of your life. Over time as you nurture your relationship, you discover you have gained much more than you ever gave up. So it is in religious life.

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For a taste of life in community, check out our Benedictine Sojourner experience for single Christian women. Live in an inclusive ecumenical community at Holy Wisdom Monastery for a year. Pray, play, work and learn with us.

For a shorter experience in the summer consider spending two weeks to a month with us as a Volunteer in Community.

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Join the A Nun’s Life Community for prayer at 6 p.m. CT in the chat room today.
Our prayer leader for this week are Audra of Awkward Catholic fame
and Regina who is engaged in Soul Composting!

We may be nuns and have a penchant for talking nun stuff, but we are all about promoting ALL vocations — and that’s why no matter who you are, what you do, or what your spiritual persuasion is, we’re here for you!

This week is a great time to celebrate all manner of vocations because it is National Vocation Awareness Week (NVAW) which began in 1976 by the U.S. Catholic Bishops. It coincides with the Feast of the Baptism of Jesus. This is of course is très significant because the Church recognizes the universal call to holiness of every Christian by virtue of her or his baptism.

What does this mean? Here’s a snippet from one of my favorite Church documents, Lumen Gentium – The Dogmatic Constitution on the Church from the Second Vatican Council.

[We are called] to live “as becomes saints”, and to put on “as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience”, and to possess the fruit of the Spirit in holiness….

All the faithful of Christ of whatever rank or status, are called to the fullness of the Christian life and to the perfection of charity; by this holiness as such a more human manner of living is promoted in this earthly society. In order that the faithful may reach this perfection, they must use their strength accordingly as they have received it, as a gift from Christ. They must follow in Christ’s footsteps and conform themselves to God’s image seeking God’s will in all things. They must devote themselves with all their being to the glory of God and the service of their neighbor. In this way, the holiness of the People of God will grow into an abundant harvest of good, as is admirably shown by the life of so many saints in Church history.

The classes and duties of life are many, but holiness is one—that sanctity which is cultivated by all who are moved by the Spirit of God, and who obey the voice of God and worship God … in spirit and in truth. These people follow the poor Christ, the humble and cross-bearing Christ in order to be worthy of being sharers in God’s glory. Every person must walk unhesitatingly according to her or his own personal gifts and duties in the path of living faith, which arouses hope and works through charity. (Lumen Gentium)

What crosses your mind when you think about what it means for God to be calling YOU?

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for a live podcast and chat every weekday at 6 p.m. CT (find your time zone) at aNunsLife.org/live

Today we have a special guest blog post from our friend Kbart ….

A few weeks back, a call came into the convent hotline from a woman who had a very real concern that she might have missed God’s call. I remember laughing when I read that was going to be one of the topics for that week’s edition of Ask Sister. I laughed because my immediate response was and for the most part still is – “Don’t worry – God will call back!” After all – God always calls back, one way or another!

But here it is several weeks after that podcast, and I am still thinking about the topic! The God that I have come to accept in my life will always call back. That said, I am also my own answering machine, and after checking the caller ID feature, I often let calls – from real telephones and those that come more spiritually – go to my answering machine because I don’t want to deal with whoever and whatever the call is about. The problem is that at some point I have to listen to those calls or choose to pick-up and take some kind of action.
God knows that I can find a million and one things to do to avoid listening for the call – no matter how or when that call comes to me. But God also knows how to get through to me anyway in one of those million and one things I find to do. For me, the important thing is not to fear that I have somehow missed God’s call but to accept that I have chosen to miss quite a few of those calls! The action for me, then, is to cherish the call I do listen to and let that call become a defining moment in my walk forward in life. For me, those defining moments are the palette of paints that is God’s gift of the ever-developing painting of me and how I live in Gods world.

God doesn’t give up just because I have missed a call. If anything, God has found ways to reach me when I thought I was really unreachable! God’s call can come to me while I walk in the park and hear the small voice of a Ruby Crowned Kinglet or boom at me via the thunder that happens immediately after the flash of lightning that tells me the storm is “right over you!” God has found a way to get through to me without having to go through the telephone, and worse, the answering machine!

Feeling like you missed God’s call? Ask yourself if you are open enough to “hear” it and trust that God will call back.

Guest Blog Post by A Nun’s Life Community friend Kbart

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Join the sisters and A Nun’s Life community at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE for Praying with the Sisters live podcast and chat.

Ever have the experience of looking for something, like car keys or a cell phone, just to find that it’s right before your eyes? Sometimes vocations are like that.

Case in point—my friend, Nancy Lee Smith, IHM.  Sister Nancy began working full-time as an iconographer several years ago (saintjosephstudio.com). Even as she began creating wonderful icons, when people asked about her ministry, she tended to reply, “I do artwork.”

She vividly recalls the day that changed. It was at a local gallery showing,and her works were among those displayed. “I looked around and suddenly realized that I don’t just do artwork, I am an artist.” It was a moment when “doing” and “being” came together. She clearly understood that she was already living her vocation as an artist.

Sister Nancy’s story reminds me that a vocation isn’t just “what we do,” it’s also who we are. Her story reminds me that God is always at work in our lives, and sometimes it just takes awhile for us to see it clearly.

Have you had an “ah-ha” vocational moment, and how did you respond? I’d love to hear your story! Please share it by writing in the comment box below.

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This week is National Vocation Awareness Week. The Sisters will be praying daily for those who are discerning a vocation as well as taking your prayer requests. Join us at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE for Praying with the Sisters live podcast and chat.

Picking up from yesterday’s post about becoming aware of one’s calling or vocation in life, let’s look at a next step: courage to follow your call. In a comment from yesterday, KCMayrie wrote:

The comment I have is related to courage to follow your call, once you’ve discovered where God wants to lead you. Do I really have the courage to ‘step into the boat’? as it were, to follow the call? Will it really BE alright? Can I relinquish control to God and trust that He won’t let me fall? Can I stand up to those around me who question or deny my call or who challenge and oppose me? Is this really what God is asking of me or something else? How do I know? … There are always so many questions!

KC articulates many of the questions that I and probably many of you have once we have discovered our calling — or at least initial inklings about our calling.

What are some of the other questions that pop up or lay below the surface? In addition to courage (even in the face of a threatening Mr. Potato Head), what other qualities or dispositions or other gifts do you ask for?

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This week is National Vocation Awareness Week. The Sisters will be praying daily for those who are discerning a vocation as well as taking your prayer requests. Join us at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE for Praying with the Sisters live podcast and chat.

Everyone has a calling – maybe to religious life, married life, parenthood, or to a particular ministry or way of being in the world. Sometimes we clearly choose a vocation and other times we realize we’ve been living it all along. Giving oneself to God through any life vocation means that you are open to wherever God leads you, even to places that you might never have imagined.

As you think about how God is calling you … how God may be calling you … what questions surface for you? What do you begin to wonder about?

Let’s start bringing some of those questions to light by writing them in the comment box. I think it’d be really cool to get a number of these questions going because they can help spark our imaginations and maybe even articulate something that has been percolating within us! So bring ‘em on … no matter how simple or odd they may seem!

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This week is National Vocation Awareness Week. The Sisters will be praying daily for those who are discerning a vocation as well as taking your prayer requests. Join us at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE for Praying with the Sisters live podcast and chat.

Think being a hermit means heading to the wilderness, living in a creepy cave, and eating wild locusts? Think again. Here’s a great story from Australia about Carol Prevedello who was recently consecrated a hermit.

Selections from “Inner West woman becomes hermit to devote life to God”
by Fiona Brady, September 29, 2010

Carol Prevedello was consecrated a hermit before Bishop Julian Porteous in St Joan of Arc Church, Haberfield. She has made promises of poverty, chastity and obedience and pledged to live a life of prayer, penance, silence and solitude in a tradition that dates back to biblical times.

She doesn’t dwell in a cave in the wilderness, but lives with her parents in a two-storey house in the Inner West. She keeps a mobile phone in her handbag (for medical emergencies) and occasionally accept requests for prayers via email (though she prefers snail mail).

Carol is the primary carer for her mom and being a hermit allows her to continue that care and also to respond to God’s calling to “remain spiritually withdrawn from the world.” She follows a rule approved by the Cardinal, prays throughout the day, fasts, lives modestly, and moderates her interaction with others but making exceptions for “reasons of charity or necessity”.

“Some people think that a hermit means being anti-social. I’m anything but that,” she said. “I love people. A religious hermit is someone who withdraws so they can be closer to God and pray on behalf of people… on behalf of all mankind [sic]. It has given me the peace I’ve been looking for all my life.”

Read the full story: “Inner West woman becomes hermit to devote life to God“.

Also check out earlier articles on hermits at aNunsLife.org.

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters” and chat room. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

“I’m 15 years old and was raised Catholic and love the Church. I was wondering is there was any advise on my desire to be either a consecrated virgin or nun. I always think about God and vocations throughout the day and love to pick up books about saints. I really want to be very close to God but I’m afraid I’m doing it out of selfish reasons or that God wants me to be free to experience more things. I have a while to think about it and I know that some way in my life I will be religious. I was just hoping for your advice. Thank you!”

- Lauren

Hi Lauren, I’m glad you wrote. It’s not unusual to have those desires and attractions at your age. It’s a good sign that God is calling you into a deeper relationship with Godself and wanting you to get to know God more.

No matter why or how we are drawn to something or whatever our reasons are, God can still make sense of things and lead us to that which is good. I encourage you to keep praying and chatting with God and participating in Mass. And when you read about the saints, pay particular attention to the things that really catch your imagination — is it the way a saint prayed, or ministered, or lived in community? Spend extra time with those sections that attract you.

At the same time that you are praying with and pondering these things, remain true to your vocation as a student and to expanding your horizons by learning! Everything you are doing now is going to help you as you move into your life’s calling.

If you are interested in becoming a nun or consecrated virgin, find ways to get to know what those lifestyles are like. There are many ways to live either way of life. You’ll find a discernment guide that is helpful for discerning any vocation, as well as information specifically on becoming a Catholic sister or nun in our article How to Become a Catholic Nun.

Also, hang out here at A Nun’s Life to get to know nuns and learn about them. Also check out our list of Blogs by Catholic Nuns to get to know other sisters and nuns who have a blog. Community life, and understanding oneself as part of community and as serving a common good, is essential to this vocation so it is imperative that you get to know individual sisters as well as get a feel for how they live community and if and how you can see yourself in that way of community.

For more on consecrated virginity, check out www.consecratedvirgins.org, the website of the US Association of Consecrated Virgins. The website has a lot of information on what a consecrated virgin is, the process to become one, and more. Also here are a couple of our blog posts on consecrated virginity.

And Lauren, if you’d like to hang out with other people discerning their calling, visit our Vocation Forum.

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters” and chat room. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

The IHM Sisters of Monroe, Michigan (my nuns!), are co-sponsoring a discernment retreat in the Toledo, Ohio area. It’s for younger women who are thinking about religious life. If you are (or know someone who is), why not check it out. Here’s a link to our IHM Vocations blog “IHM Calling” with the information on the discernment retreat.

Retreat in the foothills of the Rockies - a hike at Castlewood Canyon State Park (2004)

So what’s a discernment retreat all about anyways?

Well, religious communities offer many different kinds — some for women (or men if a religious community for men) who are discerning that particular community and some (like the one above) are more general so you can get to know a variety of communities. There are also retreats in general offered by retreat centers that are for anyone who is in a discernment mode, be it discerning a life commitment or a ministry or just in general. Many of these are facilitated by spiritual directors who are well trained in the area of Ignatian spirituality and discernment.

A discernment retreat, like other retreats, is set in a prayerful mode and is primarily directed at helping retreatants become more conscious of how God is moving in their lives, how God is calling them. A discernment retreat typically offers time for prayer, reflection, and input on how to discern (e.g., helpful tips and tools, insights from our faith tradition, etc.).

For retreats that are specifically for folks discerning a call to religious life, the retreat typically has more focused input on religious life. There may also be input on the particular congregation that is offering the retreat. This includes an introduction to the life and mission of the community, the kinds of ministries, the story of the foundation and lived tradition of the community.

Retreatants typically have the chance to meet with sisters and talk with them about discernment in general, religious life, and/or the community itself. There may also be an opportunity to talk with a spiritual director or to share conversation with the other retreatants.

Attending a discernment retreat does not mean you are “signing on the dotted line” or that you are in an “exclusive relationship” with a community. It just means you are serious about checking things out and learning more about how God is calling you. You don’t have to commit to anything. All you have to do is be open to allowing the Spirit to be with you, surprise you, challenge you, and inspire you!

A great place to find listings of discernment retreat opportunities is the opportunities section of Vision Vocation Network.

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters” and chat room. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

There are so many ways that people move into their calling from God. For some it may be that one vocation gives way to another. That’s what happened with Sister Patti Robinson, a Sister the Congregation of Saint Agnes, a mother and grandmother, who began thinking about religious life after a major turning point in her life.

“Sixteen years ago, my life changed drastically,” said Sister Patti. “My husband died unexpectedly and my priorities began to change. A few years later, I moved to Tulsa and went to work for a large Catholic hospital. I became very active at church, especially in social justice, but I continued to feel incomplete.

“I sensed an unexplainable desire for a deeper transformation,” she continued. “The spiritual path is a long one and takes many different directions but I have found religious life and CSA in particular to be an incredible community of women religious. We call one another to spiritual authenticity and integrity without denying each other the right to forge her own unique journey with God. Our vows unite us together and we become one as we gratefully share our combined gifts with others.”

Check out the full article Mother will profess final vows as a nun in the Fond du Lac Reporter (July 7, 2010)

I love Sister Patti’s quote at the end of the article because it busts a stereotype about nuns from popular media that often shows nuns as mean and repressed. Says Sister Patti about her life and professing final vows as a religious sister: “I feel blessed and fulfilled and I thank God for the abundant love in my life.”

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters” and chat room. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

For a minute, I thought that the Chicago Tribune had discovered Sister Maxine flinging kitchen knives as she prepared for dinner, but no such luck.

Suburban Chicago nun skilled with blade by Casey Toner (Chicago Tribune, June 30, 2010) is an article about Dominican Sister Dorothy Solak who coaches fencing at Marian Catholic High School in Chicago Heights. The article explains how she got into fencing as well as her thoughts on the art of fencing. I also appreciate that the writer of this article included Sister Dorothy’s experience of being a sister. Here’s a quote from the article about her decision to become a nun.

Solak said she thought about becoming a nun when she was 13. The idea became more tangible when she started working full time.

“It’s like a nagging feeling you have, like there was something more I wanted to be involved in, that I would want to give my life to in a more intense way,” Solak said.

She joined the Dominican Sisters of Springfield in 1976 after she visited the Sacred Heart Convent in Springfield. She took her first vows in 1979 and her perpetual, or lifelong vows, in 1984.

“It’s more of a feeling within yourself, within your heart,” Solak said about her decision to become a Dominican nun. “I think it’s true in the same way if you find the right guy. You know it’s the right one for you. You can’t explain it intellectually. It’s a feeling, a feeling you are in the right place.”

Be sure to read the entire article Suburban Chicago nun skilled with blade. Share your thoughts with us!

And also, be sure to join us tonight for Praying with the Sisters LIVE podcast. We are on the road and staying the next couple nights with the Immaculata IHM Sisters in Pennsylvania. Last night two sisters joined Sister Maxine and I for our prayer podcast and a few others were in the chat room. Also this is our 100th prayer podcast episode! YEA! Not to be missed!

Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters” and chat room. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

You are in for an AWESOME treat! My dear sister Joyce Durosko, IHM, stars in this YouTube video. Sister Joyce talks about the wonderful mystery of being called to religious life. Are you a person who is open to being surprised … especially to a God who is full of surprises!? Sister Joyce offers great wisdom for people discerning religious life, including what to look for as you meet sisters and discern, try to figure out if they are “home” for you.

What questions or insights percolate as you watch and reflect on this video?

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Join Sister Maxine and Sister Julie and the A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters”. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

Today is NUNDAY and we celebrate Sister Mary Devlin, a Sister of Charity who will be celebrating her 93rd birthday at the end of July. Sister Mary is from Saint Stephen, New Brunswick. I love how she describes her calling … one that many of us can relate to!

Sister Mary Devlin, SC; Doug Geddes photographer

She was still a young teenager when she first heard the call to become a nun, and it was “very strange” to her because she didn’t know any sisters at the time. Her first exposure to that way of life came when an Order of the Sisters of Charity opened a house in St. Stephen.

“The first time I saw them in church was the first time I’d ever seen them (at all) and within myself I heard: ‘One day I will be one of them.’ I thought, ‘Well that’s the funniest thought I’ve had yet.’ It was unreal. I was 14 then and I didn’t enter until I was 28.” …

Sister Mary Devlin remains highly active. Her life in the Church has been enormously fulfilling, and she continues to give generously to others, what she knows best — love. “The most important thing in life is love, and we all need it,” she smiles. “It’s a necessity.”

- SOURCE: St. Stephen native became a nun at 28
in Times & Transcript (May 18, 2010)

Did you ever experience that sense of God calling you as “very strange”? How did you respond immediately and/or eventually?

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer and chat
every night at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone).
Visit http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

I was wondering what advice would you give concerning my discernment process. I am going to be 35 years old soon, and 5 years ago I left a religious community in my canonical year because I felt God was not calling me to religious life. I returned to my job as a registered nurse and about 2 years ago returned to all of my church ministries. The thing is I am very unhappy and confused about what to do next. Every website I look at seem to have discernment weekends for young young women. I live in the Caribbean and find it extremely fearful to just step out and seek again entering into a community because I am afraid of making another mistake. I don’t want to wake up 45 years old and missed what God wanted me to do.

- Sadie

Dear Sadie,

First I want to say that you are doing a great job at putting God’s desire first — even if you don’t always understand what that desire is. You are very brave to consider the question of religious life a second time. Discernment is pretty intense but also worth opening your heart to again if you feel nudged by the Spirit. Trust that God is speaking to your through your feelings, including the feelings of frustration, fear, confusion, and regret.

Here are some questions that I’d invite you to consider praying over.

• Imagine walking up to a beautiful house inside of which is your deepest desire. You knock on the door. A wise, welcoming person opens the door and asks you warmly, “What is it that you seek?” What do you say?
• You are serving God, the Church, and the vulnerable … what is missing for you?
• Why did you leave religious life before? What continues to attract you?
• When are you most peaceful? most centered in yourself and God?

Pay attention to how your spirit rises or falls in prayer, when you are thinking about religious life, when you think about continuing your lifestyle and ministries as they are now.

Do you have a spiritual director or trusted mentor who can reflect back to you some of your desires and attractions?

Rest assured that God will continue to lead you — stay open to God and be faithful to your prayer and to reaching out to help others. No matter how you choose to live your life, you will be living God’s dream for you.

I am not familiar with religious communities in the Caribbean. We have IHM Sisters in Puerto Rico whom I’m sure would be happy to connect with you. I hope these thoughts help you. Be assured of our prayers.

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Today’s “Praying with the Sisters” podcast has been recorded because the sisters will be in transit this evening. You are welcome to listen to the recorded prayer for today and then to join the A Nun’s Life community to share prayer requests this evening at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone) in our chat room.

Are you thinking about becoming a Catholic sister? I invite you to come to our home, the Immaculate Heart of Mary Sisters of Monroe, Michigan, for a discernment retreat. This retreat is for women who are attracted to our IHM spirit and mission and want to live vowed religious life.

What does that mean? Well, are you attracted to the liberating mission of Jesus? Do you have a sense of adventure? Are you open to being surprised by the Spirit of God? Do you wish to be part of a group of diverse women who are bound together in sisterhood by our life and mission in God? Do you wish to live and pray the Gospel with every fiber of your being?

The IHM Sisters invite you to “come and see” … come to our home, be among us, pray with us, work with us, and see how God is calling you.

May 14-16, 2010
beginning at 7 p.m. on Friday night

Riverhouse on the IHM Motherhouse campus
805 West Elm Ave., Monroe, Michigan 48162

Here’s a PDF with more info on the IHM Come and See weekend. If you are interested, let me know or contact the IHM Vocation Director, Sister Mary Bea Keeley.

Included in the retreat will be input on tools for discernment, learning about our IHM way of life and mission, meeting wisdom figures and newly vowed members of the congregation, and more. There will be time for prayer, reflection, input, Mass, chatting, and of course meals and sleep!

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Join the sisters for prayer today at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone). Praying with the Sisters is a live podcast where you can chat with us and others in A Nun’s Life chat room. All you need is an internet connection and a heart open to prayer.

http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE

My entire life I’ve felt a pull or a calling to a higher spiritual power however I am not Catholic and honestly I am not sure what to label myself at all. When I was younger, I sought so desperately to just feel loved and to “fit in” with the crowd. I ignored my calling and my dreams and chased after things that most young ladies these days chase over, boys and money.

Flash forward 15 years … I am still unwed, I still have no children and I am currently with someone I love very much but due to family problems, I do not believe he will ever wed me. Half of my heart is still thrilled to be with someone whom I can love without reserve and he loves me in return but the other half is in mourning because I cannot see us every surpassing this issue of him not being able to commit to me.

And still I feel a calling to be more spiritual. I just don’t know where my life is leading me at this point. I’m older and wiser now and yet still so lost.

- Iriesh

There are often times in our life, no matter how old or wise we might be, when we still can feel lost. While it’s a terribly uncomfortable spot to be–one that can feel scattered, unclear, and even dark–it is also a place that holds great potential because anything can happen!

You can chose the path that you desire. Even if you are not sure where your life is leading you, you can still chose, now — right now — to be a more spiritual person. Start meditating. Take 10 minutes of silence and stillness where you are just BEING. Let thoughts and distractions just pass on by you (those things always surface when we try to still ourselves). Don’t force them to not come in, just let them float in and float right on by, not dwelling on them but focusing on being still, quiet, at peace. This is not an easy exercise but I guarantee that it will help you get in touch with your own spirit.

I know that you aren’t sure what you are in terms of belief, but know that God loves you and calls you for who you are — not who you should be nor what you think you’ve been. God embraces us as we are with all our funkiness, goodness, and rough edges. When we can see ourselves and embrace ourselves (and others as well) like God sees and embraces us, we grow more deeply into ourselves, become more spiritual. It’s not easy and even those of us who commit our lives to seeking God and living spiritual lives fail and fail miserably at times! But nonetheless, we keep going and re-center ourselves in God.

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Join Sister Maxine and Sister Julie for prayer today via a LIVE podcast at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone)

Sister Helen Prejean, CSJ, is a Sister of Saint Joseph and has worked tirelessly against the death penalty. She wrote Dead Man Walking which became a film directed by Tim Robbins and starring Susan Sarandon. Because the book and film provoked much discussion and debate about the death penalty, Tim Robbins and Sister Helen began offering the stage play for college and university students as a way “to further widen the circle of public discourse on the death penalty”. Their project is called The Dead Man Walking School Theatre Project.

Here are some selections from a blog post by Rose Mohan, a BFA student at Naropa University, who is learning the role of Sister Helen Prejean:

I thought I was going to have to tone down my feistiness in order to be able to play a nun. Turns out, I have to find new heights of grit in order to be able to do justice to the character of Sister Prejean in Dead Man Walking. In almost every scene, Prejean manages to slice through what she perceives to be someone else’s delusions. She really holds her own with those hard-shelled prison men. I’m still working on getting there; sanely. One day after rehearsal I was so fired up that I had to walk out of the building jumping and punching the air.
…

I have learned so much in this process already. I grew up mildly Christian and when I go to church it still leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t want some old white guy telling me what to do, as if he understands faith better than I do. A lot of the messages are beautiful but there is no way anyone can convince me that the church provides the only way to God.

Sister Prejean is so refreshing to me because she is not afraid to openly question her faith, to form her own relationship to God outside of the church, to trust her own sense of what is right. It takes a lot of strength to hold one’s faith and be able to question at the same time. But if we are not willing to question, how can we learn?

I also really appreciate her humanness. My acting teacher expressed that she is a gritty, tenacious woman first and a nun second. Throughout the play we see that Prejean makes mistakes, feels afraid, experiences loneliness, questions the authority of the church and her own involvement in prison work and expresses dislike for someone she is trying to help. She is just an ordinary person who has made a commitment that has changed the orientation of her life. I am taking some cues from Prejean — how to not back down, how to be curious, how to continue when you don’t know.

(Do I have to be a nun? post from the Naropa BFA Performance News blog)

It is very cool to see how learning about Sister Helen and playing her can be such a transformative experience. I also like how Rose describes what I would call a “vocation” to performance. It strikes me as being very similar to the calling of wanting to give one’s life to something more, something that is bigger than us like “truth” and “goodness” and “beauty” … and God.

I am beginning to understand why people devote their lives to performance. It is like following an elusive and beckoning beast to try to convey something that means something, something that makes sense of all the somethings that happen to a person. We keep trying to hit something that is the ultimate truth, but of course, that is impossible, and yet it also doesn’t feel far away. It is like truth is already there just watching you try to make a model of it and you can always feel how close you come. I hope that we will capture some part of truth in what we are making.

For more information about Naropa University’s performance of Dead Man Walking as well as other actors’ thoughts, check out Tim Robbins play coming to Naropa in the Boulder Reporter (March 26, 2010).

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via a live podcast at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone)

Can someone with a disability become a nun? For instance I am legally blind and about to reach the age were I can enter if I wanted to. Are nuns aloud to take medications? Because I heard if your not perfect in health they will reject people.

- Aarin

Dear Aarin, Thank you for writing. This is a tough one. Religious congregations do require a person to be physically and mentally healthy in order to become a Catholic sister or nun, but sometimes if a person has a managed illness or a disability they can still become a sister or nun. We are allowed to take medication for both temporary and long-term illnesses or conditions.

I think the main thing is that religious communities want to be sure that people are capable of living the mission. But words like “healthy” and “capable” mean different things to different people so it really depends on your relationship with particular communities. Some communities might not be able to handle it (i.e., don’t have the resources, or their mission is of a kind where a person couldn’t engage in it because of their illness or disability, etc.) while others might be able to.

There are a couple discussions about this that we’ve had on A Nun’s Life. You might find them of interest.

• Can You Become a Nun if you have a Chronic Illness?
• Chronic Illness and Becoming a Nun REVISITED
• Discerning religious life with persons who have a managed mental illness

It is very important to get to know a community and for them to get to know you too. Talk it over with the vocation director. Also, I encourage you to find a spiritual director to help walk with you as you discern how God is calling you. And do take a look through How to Become a Catholic Nun and maybe even consider joining the Vocation Forum here to chat with others who are thinking about religious life and how God is calling them.

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Join Sister Maxine and Sister Julie for evening prayer
at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone)

Read the story of Ane Kirstine Wynn, a 25-year-old woman who recently entered Saint Joseph’s Monastery, a cloistered community of Passionist Nuns in Kentucky. Becoming a Passionist nun: Ane Kirstine Wynn by Amy Wilson of the Lexington Herald-Leader (April 4, 2010) tells the story of Ane Kirstine’s journey to religious life. It is a remarkable story that includes her shift from the Lutheran faith to the Catholic faith, struggles with her parents over her decision to become a nun, the fear and joy of discerning a call to religious life, and reflections on her first 3 months in the monastery.

Writer Amy Wilson paints an intimate picture of Ane Kirstine’s journey and conveys a sense of feeling and adventure. I appreciate the evident care that she took in preparing for and writing this article. What’s cool is that Amy kept up an email correspondence with Ane Kirstine since she entered in January. The superior of the monastery agreed to this correspondence which is a wonderful testimony to the community. By virtue of their cloistered life, the life of Passionist nuns, like other cloistered nuns, isn’t publicly accessible. Yet, allowing such a correspondence gives the world a glimpse of the life as well as the choice to enter into that life. This can be encouraging to people who might be attracted to cloistered life and it can also help in providing accurate, “real” information about cloistered life, not the variety you’d most likely find in the entertainment industry. You can read these emails on Kentucky.com.

Here are a few quotes from the article itself:

Mother Marie Catherine, head of the monastery, on discerning a call to religious life:

“God’s gifts,” says the Mother Superior, “are God speaking His will. The religious life is a gift from Him to you. The price tag is about bucking against the odds. Every one of the sisters walks that path.”

Ane Kirstine’s “ah-Ha” moment with the Passionist nuns:

In March 2007, she wrote in her blog: “I think I’m going to join this community. Like, seriously. When Mother spoke to us about the Passionist charism, my heart just started burning in me, because it was like she was describing myself to me! My spirituality, my understanding of God and prayer and my place in the world, every little thing she said resonated exactly with my own heart. They take five vows: poverty, chastity, obedience, enclosure and dedication to Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection. They have a striking joy and vivacity that stems from contemplating the lifeblood of Jesus, poured out in love for the world.”

Ane Kirstine on “simplicity of heart” in religious life:

“One of the most beautiful — and most challenging — facets of convent life, at least that I have noticed,” she writes, “is its ability to foster a simplicity of heart. Nearly every time I speak with a sister who has lived her vocation for many years, I am struck by how unified her love is, indeed, how wholly she is God’s. She has become simple, not so much in her mind or actions — for nuns have sharp wits and manifold pursuits, just like the rest of us! — but certainly in her being and in her heart.

What thoughts do you have after reading this article? Questions? Uncomfortable nudgings? Inspirations?

* * *

Join Sister Maxine and Sister Julie for evening prayer
at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone)
at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

Our very own Sister Maxine Kollasch, IHM, was interviewed on NPR program “Tell Me More” with host Michel Martin. A couple weeks ago, the program’s producer found Sister Maxine via A Nun’s Life Ministry and asked to interview her along with author Leora Tanenbaum, an observant Jew, and the Reverend Renita Weems, a minister ordained in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. The conversation was on women’s leadership in religion, though, as we soon discovered, it was steered specifically towards the “glass ceiling” and the ways in which women do not have access to the same roles or experiences that men do. Listen to the 15 minute segment by clicking the play button below (if the player doesn’t appear, here’s the direct link to NPR website).

This was an interesting topic, to be sure, and a timely one as March was Women’s History Month. It was fascinating to see the topic addressed across three different religious traditions. Sister Maxine did a great job, especially since she found out only moments before the show that she’d be asked about women’s ordination in the Catholic Church. Not an easy topic to address! But Sister Maxine did a great job and spoke well.

I think there’s an assumption among some that if ordination were open to women that Catholic sisters and nuns would of course take that “next” step. But that’s not the case at all. Ordination is not a “next” step or a “higher” calling, as if somehow an advanced progression along the path of holiness. However God calls a person is the way of holiness for them, no better or worse than any other calling. We have to unseat this assumption in our Catholic imagination because it does an injustice to God and to each one of us.

There’s also another assumption that the only way to fully lead within the Catholic Church is to be a priest. This is a tough assumption to address because on the one hand we know there are many ways to lead within the church. There are many leadership roles for women and men, lay and ordained. On the other hand, the structure of church leadership is built on ordination, specifically the ordination of men to the priesthood. For many women and men, this is a conundrum. And that’s an understatement.

Think about we as a church have thought about calling, especially with the Second Vatican Council’s affirmation of the universal call to holiness. What does your own call to holiness mean in terms of how you relate to everybody in the church? What questions does that raise for you? What surprises or insights?

What does it mean to write a blank check for God? What does it mean to commit oneself to God without knowing the cost, without knowing the details and specifics, without knowing the adventure that lies ahead?

We experience the “blank check” phenomenon in many spheres of our life. Who would have thought that our job would include x, y, and z? How could we have known that a relationship with so-and-so would lead to a, b, and c? True, there are many choices that we make with very clear, expected results. But not so with life decisions and life commitments. In many ways, the choice is not to a specific thing but to a way of being — a way of being who we are and a way of being in relationship with others, including God.

When I became an IHM Sister, I did so because I desired more than anything to give my life to God and to mission in and through the IHM congregation. I had some ideas of what I wanted that to look like, but all those ideas were simply that — ideas. They were not written into my vows, they were not inscribed in my official records, they were not promised to me by anyone. Giving oneself to God through any life vocation means that you are open to wherever God leads you, even to places that you might never have imagined or ones that you could imagine but didn’t like!

I’m intrigued by the image of “blank check” and would love to hear from you about how you experience this in your life as a mom, a religious sister or contemplative nun, an uncle, a deacon, an educator, a caregiver ….

* * *
Join Sister Maxine and Sister Julie for evening prayer
at 6 p.m. Central Time (check your time zone)
at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

In this year’s message to young people, Pope Benedict XVI reflects on the World Youth Day 2010 theme: “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Mark 10:17).

Pope Benedict XVI urged young people to follow their dreams, dedicate their talents to the common good, and grow in love and faith. The pope told the world’s young Catholics to not let life’s difficulties lead to discouragement. “Instead nurture in your heart great hopes for fraternity [sic], justice and peace. The future is in the hands of those who know how to seek and find strong convictions in life and hope,” he said in his message for World Youth Day 2010. The Vatican and most dioceses around the world will mark World Youth Day on Palm Sunday, March 28. In his message, released in Italian and French by the Vatican March 15, the pope asked young people to build a more just and fair world. Changing the world for the better does not have to mean “performing heroic or extraordinary acts, but allowing your talents and potential to bear fruit and committing yourself to constantly growing in faith and love,” he said. (source: Catholic News Service)

Pope Benedict writes that the situation facing the young person in Mark’s Gospel is one that faces all youth. He speaks of the importance of taking the time to build one’s “project of life”.

“The season of life that you are immersed in is a time of discovery: of the gifts that God has lavished upon you and of your responsibilities. It is, moreover, a time of fundamental choices to build your ‘project of life.’” The Pope urges youth not to be fearful in answering the question: “What must I do, so that my life might have full value and full meaning?” “To discover the ‘project of life’ that can make you plainly happy, start listening to God, who has a design of love for each of you,” writes the Pope. (source: Catholic News Agency)

What steps have you taken in your “project of life”? What are some of the road blocks and scenic views that you’ve encountered?

* * *
Join Sister Julie and Sister Maxine for evening prayer at 6 p.m. CDT
at http://anunslife.org/LIVE.

As a celibate, non-sex-having, vocationally-engaged person, I was intrigued by and a bit apprehensive of an article by Jamie Manson entitled Celibacy: Neither healthy nor helpful for the future of vocations in National Catholic Reporter (March 11, 2010).

Although Manson states somewhat parenthentically that she is “not suggesting that celibacy is wrong or unhealthy” and that “for some individuals, this choice is very life-giving”, I get the distinct impression from the entire article that such a choice would be fundamentally against the very nature of “today’s young adults”. Hmmm.

At the old age of 38 and a member of that old-fashioned Generation X, you can take my two cents for what they’re worth. First I concur 100% with the universal call to holiness. There is no such thing as a “higher” calling. You can slap the label “consecrated” or “ordained” or whatever on the calling but it’s still not any better or worse than any other calling. However God calls you is what is most fulfilling for you. True, we still have many remnants of pre-Vatican II ideas and those continue to affect how people understand their own calling and that of others.

I feel badly that Manson and others continue to experience an undervaluing of their desire for a “healthy, loving, committed sexual relationship” and their desire to devote their lives “to the service of the gospel”. But I don’t think changing a recognition of the value of celibacy in consecrated life is going to change that. I think that the problem is that the church (magisterium and people of God) hasn’t yet fully committed to the idea of the universal call to holiness. Even Manson herself seems to feel that the only way that people can be recognized as seeking “a healthy, loving, committed sexual relationship” and “being fully and authentically committed to bringing the life of God into the world” is through consecrated life. Otherwise, why the concern about being “banned” from consecrated life?

I guess I’m confused a bit (which happens at the old age of 38) because I fundamentally agree with Manson about vocation and calling, but there are so many negative celibacy over- and undertones in the article that I’m left wondering (a) if she really understands celibacy (celibacy is a far richer concept and experience than simply not being involved in a sexual relationship) and (b) what she’s really trying to say. Is it that religious life, consecrated virginity, the eremetical life, and other forms of consecrated virginity should lift the celibacy requirement?  Is it that there should be an additional form of consecrated life that recognizes the value of sexual relationships? Is it that the church still has a long way to go in truly promulgating the universal call to holiness? Is it that celibacy is fundamentally unnatural for young people today and into the future? Is it that celibacy’s only value is for the quirky few who find it life giving?

Well, those are a few thoughts from one quirky Gen X-er. What do you think?

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Join two celibate women and others for prayer tonight at 6 p.m. Central Daylight Time at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE (note: due to Daylight Saving Time our broadcast has shifted to UTC-5)

“Hello Sister. I am a fifteen year old catholic girl and attending a catholic school. I feel that God is calling me to become a nun. I am planning on finishing high school and then taking to a religious life. The problem is I do not know where to go now that I know God is calling me. Can you tell me where I need to go to become a sister?”

- Alyssa

Hi Alyssa, Thanks for writing. Here are a few resources to check out on A Nun’s Life website:

• How to Become a Catholic Sister or Nun: a general idea of where to start, what the general logistics are, and some helpful hints from someone who’s been there and is now a Catholic sister
• Vocation Forum: a place to explore vocations to religious life

The age requirements for each community varies some. Some communities encourage you to get a college degree first. They may encourage you to “experience life” since you’ll be just out of high school. But it also depends on where you are at with your discernment, how long you’ve know the community (or other communities), etc. Even if you choose to go to college first, I’d highly encourage you to stay in touch with the community. Visit them during spring break or on weekends or whenever you have time.

Basically the first steps start with you and your discernment with God. What do you feel God is calling you to? What are you attracted to in terms of a lifestyle? How will you grow in your relationship with God and others?

In terms of the more practical “next steps” kind of thing, it is important to get to know some nuns. Have a chat with one, and see what she is like. Go to a talk by a nun. Go to mass at their motherhouse. Check out a vocation day at one of the communities. Spend some time just getting to know a community. It’s just like developing a friendship. In the meantime know that you are doing God’s will. You don’t have to wait until you decide on a particular calling. Live now how God is calling you to live. Develop (if you’ve not already) a regular rhythm of prayer, do some spiritual reading (scripture, writings of the saints, etc.), involve yourself in a ministry. Be faithful to your vocation now as a student. Remember, that too is a calling from God. If you don’t know a community of sisters, ask one of your parish leaders. Also, every diocese has a vocation office so you can check with them too and let them know what you are thinking. There are also some online vocation resources to help you along. Here are a couple:

• Vision Vocation Network
• Catholics On Call

As you get to know sisters and their communities, pay attention to how you feel, and how attracted you are to the community. Do you feel at home? Do you feel like you are growing in your relationship with God? Can you see yourself flourishing as a human being with these sisters? Keep bringing all of this to God in prayer.

There are no right or wrong steps in this journey. And they may not happen in any particular order. But this is sort of the gist of it. Let me know if you’ve got further questions or more particular ones. God bless you, Alyssa.

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Join the sisters for evening prayer tonight at 6 p.m. CST and every Monday through Thursday at http://anunslife.org/live

This Sunday marks the World Day for Consecrated Life, a day instituted by Pope John Paul II in 1997 to thank God for the gift of consecrated life and to let people know about this way of life.

To celebrate, A Nun’s Life Ministry is partnering with the IHM Sisters (of which Sister Maxine and I are both members) to host an hour-long live podcast on vocations, religious life, discerning a call, and all sorts of things! We’ll be joined by Sister Mary Bea Keeley, IHM, and Sister Carol Quigley, IHM, and perhaps more!

Join us at 4 p.m. CST (your timezone) on Sunday, February 7, 2010, here at http://anunslife.org/LIVE. We have a lively chat room that will be happening simultaneous to the podcast.

If you have questions or comments for us regarding vocations, IHM life, prayer, or pretty much anything else, please leave a message for us at our voicemail feedback line: 1-888-703-4732. Messages may be played on the air!

And in the spirit of the World Day for Consecrated Life, we invite you to do your part to promote vocations. We have a number of resources over at IHM Calling blog to help promote vocations.

So what are you going to do this week to promote vocations?

When we think of a calling, we sometimes think it is only for the “religious” types, those ones who never seem to do anything wrong, who were born and bred in the Catholic Church, who speaks with ease about religious stuff. And you know, once and a while, it is that person, but God has this disconcerting habit of choosing people who are a bit rough around the edges, who might have a tendency to be wild, rash, passionate, or temperamental. One has only to look at the women and men who constituted his first disciples to see that they were a mix of people each with rough edges and great giftedness. Some weren’t even “religious” but in them Jesus recognized a spirit of dedication, kindness, zeal, compassion, perseverance — and other such gifts that were perfectly suited for being a disciple.

So what if you have a tattoo or forget the words to the Act of Contrition (my biggest fear when walking into a confessional) or are not a virgin or enjoy falling in love or want to become a rocket scientist? Think that’s incompatible with being called? Not a chance.

There is no one who is beyond God’s call and in fact every one of us does have a calling. There are lifelong callings like to be in a relationship, to be a parent, to be a missionary, to be a religious sister or brother, to be a lifelong educator. And there are callings to a kind of ministry or service such as healing, teaching, advocating, learning, praying, companioning, protecting, or encouraging. We might experience many of the latter in our lives and within our “umbrella” lifelong calling. For example, my lifelong calling is to be a religious sister, specifically to be an Immaculate Heart of Mary Sister. But within this lifelong calling, I also am called to serve in a particular way using technology and the Internet and theology and spirituality. I am also called to a particular kind of lifestyle that is sensitive to all of God’s creation.

So think about how you are called — how you are living this calling right now even if you might never have thought about it as a calling? And for those of you who thought you were “beyond help” for becoming a nun or a deacon or a monk or religious sister or a priest or a consecrated virgin … what’s blocking you?

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Join us tonight for prayer at 6 p.m. CST at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

Also, Ask Sister Podcast is coming up at the end of the week. If you have questions for us, please email them to us at sister (AT) anunslife (DOT) org.

Who are the most influential vocation promoters of today? YOU! That’s right, I mean you. Parents, teachers, catechists, mentors, and anyone who is in a position to encourage young people are our most treasured vocation promoters because you are in a position to mentor others and to help them see all the possibilities for their life. I would not be where I am today — educationally, spiritually, or vocationally — if it were not for the women and men in my life who expanded my horizons and helped me envision and imagine my life.

To help you help others, we pulled together the popular post How to Become a Catholic Nun into a printable format so that you can make this available to others and also to educate yourself on ways to encourage people in their attraction to religious life specifically or in their desire to discern how God is calling them. Though the post is about becoming a Catholic sister or nun, the message applies to becoming a Catholic brother or monk, and many of the suggestions are helpful for anyone discerning a calling. In the future we hope to create a similar post that is geared toward discerning a call in general.

Here is a link to How to Become a Catholic Nun PDF. (format PDF, 1.4 MB)

There are also many vocation websites out there, places that can help you discern how God is calling you. If there are other resources that we can provide you with, please let us know. If you are a “discerning individual” let us know the ways that mentors have encouraged you!

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Join the A Nun’s Life community for prayer at 6 p.m. today (your time zone). All are welcome.

We are back after an extraordinary time home at our IHM Motherhouse in Monroe, Michigan. In the midst of congregational meetings, liturgy and prayer, and socializing (we did occasionally get sleep too!), Sister Maxine and I were podcasting live from the motherhouse! Each day we had sisters join us on the air with the finale being Saturday night with Special Podcast – IHM Sisters Unplugged! We invited four brave sisters to join us on the air for a live podcast and interaction with you our online audience. In addition, we invited sisters to be present as our very first live audience! We packed the place and were so delighted to share the experience with our nuns!

So it is fitting on this Monday to celebrate our nuns with some Nunday photos courtesy of Sister Joyce Durosko, IHM, our dear friend and ministry partner!

Sister Julie (left) explains to the live audience how podcasting live works while Sister Maxine (right) briefs Sisters Marge Polys and Susan Mahalik (Go Phillies!) on what they’ll be doing.

Just a few of the many nuns who came to be part of the live “convent studio” audience! Sisters Theresa Koernke and Anne Crane are in the audience and took part in the second part of the podcast. The warm setting is the community room of the IHM Sisters who live on second floor, A wing. We are grateful for their hospitality and encouragement!

Be sure to listen to the podcast. Here’s a recording:

We talked about life as Catholic sisters, ministry, how each sister discovered and responded to her vocation, prayer, nuns swimming, dealing with doubt in the spiritual life, anchorites and the eremitical life, IHM charism and mission, entering a religious community, and lots of other things!

Sister Maxine and I are back in our own convent studio and will join you tonight for prayer at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone).

And we’ll be back with more NUNDAY photos and stories coming soon!

Today’s Scripture reading from Saint Paul’s letter to the Romans is a powerful reminder that each and every one of us has a calling.

All of us, in union with Christ, form one body, and as parts of it we belong to each other. Our gifts differ according to the grace given us. If your gift is prophecy, then use it as your faith suggests; if administration, then use it for administration; if teaching, then use it for teaching. Let the preachers deliver sermons, the almsgivers give freely, the officials be diligent, and those who do works of mercy do them cheerfully.

Do not let your love be a pretense, but sincerely prefer good to evil. Love each other as much as sisters and brothers should, and have a profound respect for each other. Work for the Lord with untiring effort and with great earnestness of spirit. If you have hope, this will make you cheerful. Do not give up if trials come; and keep on praying. If any of the saints are in need you must share with them; and you should make hospitality your special care.

Bless those who persecute you: never curse them, bless them. Rejoice with those who rejoice and be sad with those in sorrow. Treat everyone with equal kindness; never be condescending but make real friends with the poor. Do not allow yourself to become self-satisfied. (Romans 12:5-16)

A vocation is not just a calling to consecrated life (such as becoming a sister or monk or deacon); a vocation is a calling to each and everyone of us to live our life fully using the gifts that God has given to us and the grace that God continually gives us. Saint Paul gives us some examples (first paragraph) and he also gives us a kind of road map to living fully (second two paragraphs). Listen to some of the key words of this road map:

prefer good to evil … love … have profound respect for people
minister with earnestness of spirit … hope … do not give up
keep praying … share … give hospitality … bless and never curse people
be in solidarity with those who rejoice or are in sorrow
treat everyone with equal kindness … make real friends with the poor

These are some of the dispositions that we can take to heart and in doing so live more fully the life God has blessed us with.

Pick one, just one, of these “landmarks” on the road map and consider how you can take it to heart each moment of this day and into the week.

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Join us for prayer using this readin today at noon Central Time at http://anunslife.org/live. Prayer is still at noon, but because of Daylight Savings Time, it may have changed for you.
Here’s the time in your neck of the woods.

]]> http://anunslife.org/2009/11/03/you-are-called/feed/ 7 http://anunslife.org/2009/10/14/teresa-of-avila-trusting-always-in-god/ http://anunslife.org/2009/10/14/teresa-of-avila-trusting-always-in-god/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:17:24 +0000 Sister Julie http://anunslife.org/?p=4064

This is the final in a series of three posts on Saint Teresa of Avila. The whole piece was originally published in VISION, the Catholic Religious Discernment Guide.

Read the first part My BFF is a 16th century nun, Teresa of Avila and the second part Teresa of Avila’s desire to give her life to God.

A leap of faith

Teresa spent a year and a half living with the nuns. Still, she resisted becoming a nun, saying, “I could not be persuaded to be one” (Life 3.2). Though obviously attracted to the life, Teresa needed time to adjust to the possibility of God calling her to religious life. Like Teresa we are often given the same challenge of imagining our life in a different way. Teresa says little about how or even if she resolved her questions, but we do know that she decided to become a nun anyway. She was able to set aside her doubts and fears and respond to God’s call.

This didn’t mean that Teresa’s life was easy once she made the decision to become a nun. Explaining her call to family and friends proved to be a challenge. Her father so loved her that he couldn’t imagine letting her leave for the convent until after he died. Nothing Teresa said or did could change his mind. But Teresa wished to remain true to the call from God. She knew herself well enough to know that if she didn’t pursue God’s call now, she might never do it. So early one morning, Teresa quietly left her father’s house for the convent: “I remember, clearly and truly, that when I left my father’s house I felt that separation so keenly that the feeling will not be greater, I think, when I die. For it seemed that every bone in my body was being sundered” (Life 4.1).

The pain which Teresa wrote about here is real. Whether it be family or friends, careers or possessions that we want to hold onto, God’s call is all-encompassing. It is a call to be open to radical change in our lives, if that’s what God asks of us.

Filled with a new joy

Teresa entered the Carmelite Monastery of the Incarnation in 1533, took the habit, and eventually professed solemn vows as a Carmelite nun. Her initial struggle gave way to a lasting joy: “[God] gave me such great happiness at being in the religious state of life that it never left me up to this day, and God changed the dryness my soul experienced into the greatest tenderness. All the things of religious life delighted me, and it is true that sometimes while sweeping, during the hours I used to spend in self-indulgence and self-adornment, I realized that I was free of all that and experienced a new joy that amazed me.” (Life 4.2)

When I first began considering religious life, I never would have imagined I’d experience this “new joy” of which Teresa wrote. But the experience of responding to God’s call and eventually professing my vows as an IHM Sister was a joy that I’d never felt before. I felt like a new person, yet more myself than ever.

Trusting in God Always

All along the way, it helped to have Teresa by my side. Today she is still very much a companion. Sometimes I turn to her writings for encouragement, other times for help in a pastoral or theological quandary. Whenever I have questions about prayer or don’t quite understand how the Spirit is moving in my life, I pray and seek guidance from Teresa. Even Teresa’s own tangles with God (once, when complaining of her suffering, Teresa heard Jesus respond, “This is how I treat my friends” to which Teresa rejoined, “No wonder you have so few!”) give me assurance that my struggles are not out of the ordinary and that there is a way through the darkness.

Although I have known Teresa for many years now, I continue to discover new things about her. Recently, I read a book of her letters. The letters reveal a woman who was deeply committed to a contemplative life but who was, of necessity, engaged in what one commentator calls “a maelstrom of activities.” Sometimes this maelstrom got the best of her. Wrote Teresa, “With so many duties and troubles … I wonder how I’m able to bear them all” (Letter 39 in The Collected Letters of St. Teresa of Avila).

As a religious I can identify with this constant balancing of prayer, ministry, and community life. It is both a joy and a challenge to live this life. Religious life calls us to our best selves and often summons strengths and gifts that we didn’t even know we had. I’m sure on more than one occasion Teresa was surprised to see how things worked out or what paths opened up that she could have hardly imagined. Perhaps some of the best advice that Teresa has ever given to me is to trust always in God, even when things are tough or unclear. She reminds me that determination is indeed a virtue and a necessity in the life of faith.

“Have great confidence,” Teresa wrote, “for it is necessary not to hold back one’s desires, but to believe in God that if we try we shall little by little, even though it may not be soon, reach the state the saints did with his help. For if they had never determined to desire and seek this state little by little in practice they would never have mounted so high.” (Life 13.2)

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What struck you about Teresa’s life and her desire to trust always in God? If you could ask Teresa anything, what would it be?

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Join Sister Maxine and me for prayer today at noon Central Time at http://anunslife.org/live.

This is the second in a series of three posts on Saint Teresa of Avila. The whole piece was originally published in VISION, the Catholic Religious Discernment Guide.

Read yesterday’s post, which is part one in the series:  My BFF is a 16th century nun, Teresa of Avila

Doing Something Big for God

One of Teresa’s first mentions of wanting to give her life to God comes in a story from her childhood. Teresa, at the tender age of seven, was inspired to do something big for God. We’re not talking here about making crosses out of clothes pins. Teresa decided that she and her brother ought to become martyrs because that was the quickest way to heaven (Life 1.4). So Teresa and her brother set out in search of unbelievers so that they could “beg them, out of love of God, to cut off our heads.” But no sooner had the children started their journey than an uncle caught sight of them and promptly returned them to their mother. Teresa surrendered her dream of martyrdom, concluding that “having parents seemed to us the greatest obstacle.”

She resigned herself to an ordinary childhood. Still, she clung to the desire, however innocent and immaturely expressed, to do something big for God. She took consolation in pretending to be a nun: “When I played with other girls I enjoyed it when we pretended we were nuns in a monastery, and it seemed to me that I desired to be one, although not as much as I desired [becoming a martyr or a hermit]” (Life 1.6).

This episode in Teresa’s life reflects the difficulty of feeling called to something, but not knowing exactly what. When I felt called I thought maybe it meant joining the Jesuit Volunteer Corps or dedicating myself to marriage and raising a family. Not convinced that religious life was for me, I tested many alternatives. But no matter how good they were or how much I welcomed them, they didn’t seem to fit.

No substitute for real nuns

Just as Teresa had romantic notions about what it meant to be a martyr or a nun in the 16th century, so too I had some skewed ideas about religious life in this century. My ideas came from a number of sources; actual experiences with nuns as an adult wasn’t one of them. It occurred to me that I hadn’t considered religious life before because I didn’t know what it was about. My lack of accurate information left me with a superficial understanding of religious life and the women and men who lived it.

Teresa’s life shows the importance of first-hand experience with people in religious life. When Teresa was twelve, her mom died, and she was raised by her father and older sister. When her sister left the house to get married, Teresa’s father decided to send Teresa to the convent school to be taught by the nuns and live with them. Teresa wrote of her initial unhappiness with this, mostly because she was afraid the nuns knew that she didn’t always live an exemplary life. Within days, however, her unhappiness gave way to peace, and she began to feel at home.

“My soul,” she wrote, “began to return to the good habits of early childhood, and I saw the great favor God accords to anyone placed with good companions.” (Life 2.8) While living with the nuns, Teresa found one who became a mentor and friend. This nun talked to Teresa about the things of God and even shared with Teresa her own path to religious life. This personal experience lead Teresa to free herself “from the antagonism that I felt strongly within myself toward becoming a nun” (Life 3.1). Still, Teresa notes, “I had no desire to be a nun, and I asked God not to give me this vocation.” (Life 3.2)

Throughout my discernment about religious life, I took great comfort in Teresa’s words. How many times did I pray to let this vocation pass me by? Yet even then, I felt as attracted to the life as I was terrified by it. What kept me going were the IHM sisters around me who encouraged me and who, by their lives, showed me the great gift and adventure of religious life. Had I not had a direct experience with nuns, I might never have been open to the possibility of religious life.

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In what ways have you tested out your desire to give your life to God or to a vocation like marriage or education or art or parenthood? What words of wisdom do you hear from Teresa in pursuing this desire?

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Join Sister Maxine and me for prayer today at noon Central Time at http://anunslife.org/live.

Question from Veronica …

I am a 55 year old practising Catholic. Am married, 2 children are now grown up and living with my husband. Thoughts of pursuing becoming a nun has come and go. Now I feel that there is a need for me to do something, where do I go from here?

Dear Veronica, Many thanks for writing in. You are not alone! I’ve run into many women who have similar wonderings about their life and what they can do to tend to this attraction to religious life.

Becoming a Catholic sister or nun may not be an option for you due to your being currently married and your age. Since the process of becoming a nun takes about 7 years, I’m not sure that religious communities would consider the possibility unless you’ve already had a relationship with them.

Still, your attraction and your desires are real and are a calling from God. Each of us is called in some way to dedicate ourselves to God.

You might want to consider becoming an Associate or Affiliate — a lay woman (married/single) who shares in the mission and spirituality of the community but is not under vows. Lay Affiliates or Associates can also be men.  Not all congregations have associates, and those that do vary in the formation process and the degree to which associates can be involved in the life of the congregation. For a specific example of a congregation’s associate program check out the the Monroe IHM page on IHM Associates.

No matter what age you are or what state of life, there are things you can do and ways to be of service. I encourage you to think about your gifts and talents and about what you would absolutely love to do. There are so many people in need and organizations that would love your help. There are also so many ways to deepen your life of prayer and to grow closer to God. Whether in ministry or prayer, look for something that has a sense of community so that you are supported and encouraged in your work and in your life.

Let me know if what kinds of things are of interest to you in terms of prayer, ministry, and community. That way I’ll be able to offer some more specific suggestions to help.

Blessings, Veronica, and to all who have similar wonderings.

Tomorrow, Tuesday at 1 p.m. CST (time zone converter), we have two special guests coming to our LIVE podcast — Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC, Executive Director of the National Religious Vocation Conference, and Patrice Tuohy, Executive Editor of VISION Vocation Guide.

They’ll join us to discuss the newly released study on Catholic Vocations and Religious Life. This is a very important study, and if you haven’t done so already, read through the executive summary and other related resources (Mythbusters section is quite interesting).

We’ll ask them about the survey itself, its aim and who participated, and also some specifics about the survey such as what it means to create/have a “culture of vocations”. Since both guests have expertise in the field of vocations, we’ll ask them for their observations on and advice for vocation directors and people considering a vocation.

We’d like you to join us by listening and also by participating in the chat room during the live broadcast. The chat room is just for listeners of the show only and it is the place where you can interact with one another and with us. During the broadcast you can ask your questions and offer comments to our guests which Sister Maxine and I will read on the air.

How do you listen? Just come to ANunsLife.org tomorrow … there will be a post with all the info that you need.

For an email reminder tomorrow, please leave a comment below with your correct email in the box that asks for your email or email us directly (NOTE: your email address is never made public).

What do you think about the survey? What questions do you have for Patrice and Brother Paul about the survey or about vocations in general — e.g., discerning a vocation, attracting new members, the state of religious life, etc.? Let’s get a good list going!

The National Religious Vocations Conference (NRVC) has just released the final results of a study on the state of religious vocations in the United States. The project was commissioned by NRVC and conducted by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA).

The purpose of this study is to identify and understand who is entering religious life today and the characteristics of the religious institutes that are receiving and retaining new members. No study on religious vocations on this scale has ever been done before.  The goal of this research is to highlight the best practices in vocation promotion and religious formation. (source: Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC, for NRVC)

Here is the key information:

2009 NRVC/CARA Study on Recent Vocations – full study and results available as PDF download (406 pages)

Executive Summary — overview of the study, its impetus, phases, and major findings which are categorized under the following: Religious Life Today, Attraction to Religious Life and to a Particular Religious Institute, Vocation Promotion and Discernment Programs, Evaluation of Religious Institutes, Most Rewarding and Satisfying Aspects of Religious Life, Hope for the Future, and Best Practices in Vocation Ministry

Best Practices — summary of best practices for promoting vocations: Being Proactive about Vocations, Creating a Culture of Vocations, Vocation Director and/or Team, Use of Media for Vocation Promotion, Discernment Programs, and Targeting Age Groups

History of the Study — project background

Mythbusters — ten myths about religious life and the facts from the new study that dispel them

Other Resources – resources for media and other information on vocations

For other info on the study, see Laurie Goodstein, New Nuns and Priests Seen Opting for Tradition in The New York Times (August 10, 2009)

Every religious congregation and diocese has Vocation Directors, that is, persons whose primary ministry is to reach out to people discerning their calling and to help them see if they are called to that particular community or diocese. In religious life, a Vocation Director is there to help you get to know the community, to introduce you to and facilitate connections to other sisters or brothers in the community. She or he is also the one who gets to know you, where you are from, what your story is, what attracts you to God, to religious life, and to that particular community.

For those of you who are discerning, it can feel like a huge step to make Official Contact (begin dramatic music) with a religious congregation. I remember how terrified and exhilarated I felt the first time I made contact (yes, it felt a little like Richard Dreyfuss’s character in Close Encounters of the Third Kind) with our IHM Vocation Director. It was not because she or any of the nuns were alien-esque but rather it was something happening within me. I was actually making concrete, publicly articulating this desire that was welling up in me … a desire that I still struggled to put coherent words on.

Some of my fears about contacting a Vocation Director had to do with thinking I was “signing on the dotted line”. I didn’t know that the Vocation Director was there to help me discern, give me more data for my research, help me to get to know the community. I didn’t know that she held both the community’s best interests and my best interests at heart. I was also afraid that as she got to know me, she’d find out I wasn’t all that holy or nunly (whatever I thought that meant!).

The very act of making contact was for me a real help in my discernment because I had to trust God and really believe that the Spirit was working within me. It was like my secret was finally going to be out in the open which was not only terrifying but kind of a relief. I didn’t know what would come of all that but I knew that if I didn’t respond to this nudging of God’s Spirit (no matter how crazy it all seemed to me) then I might miss something. I could never have dreamed that that little nudging would end up in the life I experience now as an IHM Sister dedicated to the liberating mission of Jesus.

I came to value and rely on the relationship that I had with my Vocation Directors (I had two, not because I was a handful … or was it? … but because one was at the end of her term and the new one was beginning). One of the most important things they did for me was to help me to get to know other sisters and to have others get to know me. That was foundational for me and to this day I continue those ever-deepening relationships. My directors and the nuns I met sustained me as I went through the ups and downs of discernment. They let me know that I was welcome and wanted and also that I was free to do what God called me to do, even if it meant not staying.

For those of you considering religious life, what’s your experience of “making contact”? or even just considering making contact? For others, have you ever had this kind of experience of “making contact” in which you made public a desire that you were still in the midst of trying to make sense of?

If you’d like more info about discernment and calling, check out Vocation Forum, Catholics on Call, and Vocation Match.

These days you can not only adopt children and animals but you can adopt highways, platoons, watersheds, and even microbes!

Now you can adopt candidates for religious life and ordained life! Thanks to an email from Jerri, I discovered that the Diocese of Joliet-in-Illinois as well as dioceses across the country have programs to encourage vocations to consecrated life and to support those who are in the process of becoming a religious or ordained. Jerri says that for the past couple weeks, there’s been an blurb about the program in the bulletin. It reads in part:

ADOPT A SEMINARIAN OR CANDIDATE PROGRAM: This program is an opportunity for the youth group, school, religious education class or parish to adopt a seminarian (a man who is studying to be a priest) or a candidate (a woman preparing to be a sister), and encourage them on their journey by writing letters. This type of encouragement would be greatly appreciated by the men and women in formation.

After receiving Jerri’s email I did some more searching around and found a recent article on the subject from Catholic News Service. “Programs to ‘adopt’ women in formation seen as vocations aid” by Jackie Taylor (March 23, 2009) has some more examples of how the program works and its benefits for both the adopters and the adoptees.

My only caveat to this wonderful program is that I wish it also encouraged vocations for men to religious life as well as other Church vocations like consecrated virginity and hermit life.

When vocations are promoted, we sometimes only focus on religious life for women and priesthood for men, as if two gender-based versions of the same calling. Not so. Ordained life is a distinct calling and can be to the priesthood or to become a deacon. Both forms of ordained life are restricted to men.

Religious life is a very different calling and it is open to both men and women. It includes sisters, nuns, friars, monks, brothers. In addition there are hermits and consecrated virgins — not sure if they technically fall in the “religious life” category but all of these are considered forms of “consecrated life.”

So in the ideal world, we’d have a parish bulletin with the headline “The Adopt-a-Sister-Friar-Priest-Hermit-Monk-Deacon-Nun-Virgin-Brother Program” but who would ever want to title something like that!!??

Hmmm … anyone interested in an Adopt-A-Nun’s-Life program?

Kudos to Sister Mary Alternative (an Episcopalian woman considering religious life) for starting this post: “You may be a nun if …” Here are some of her responses that I love!

You may be a nun if …

• you see nuns everywhere you go
• you see nuns so often that now even your friends are seeing them in airports and stuff
• you have the book of common prayer online version saved to your favorites on the blackberry

Here’s a few more from personal experience:

• have vocation/nun material hidden where no one can find it
• you want nothing to do with the idea of being a nun, but yet you find it strangely compelling too
• you know what it’s like to fall in love with a person or a lifework yet it feels like all the pieces aren’t quite together yet … something is missing
• you regularly engage in “nun surveillance“

How would you finish this sentence? “You may be a nun if … “

The question about the habit being the answer to vocations recruitment comes up every now and again on the blog in various forms. It’s an interesting question that is way more complex than a simple “yes” or “no” can account for. Hilary well articulates this question in a comment on Why is a nun’s habit called a “habit”? Hilary writes:

Nuns are practically invisible nowadays, even in my very Catholic area, which is probably part of the reason why more women are not becoming nuns and even do not realize that that is an option. Perhaps if more orders wore some sort of habit – not necessarily the full, traditional habit – to distinguish them, to make them visible to the public, more young people would answer a call to vocation?

A couple different ways to look at this … one would be to look at the visibility issue by looking at priests, for example, who are clearly dressed as priests during liturgical events and often in other settings. One might say they are clearly visible yet why are U.S. seminaries not overflowing?

Another way to look at this is to consider the Internet. In this day and age, it is possible to get bounds of information about any subject (provided one has access to the Internet). One can easily, “visibly” find any number of Catholic sisters, nuns, brothers, priests, monks, friars, deacons, hermits, consecrated virgins, etc. There is more information accessible to a larger number of people than ever. Yet seminaries and houses of formation are not overflowing — of course that begs the question, do they need to be? Is quantity what we are aiming for here?

What do you think? Is the habit the answer to vocations recruitment? Are there other other ways that the issue of “visibility” could be addressed?

Question from Janelle …

Hi Sister Julie, I am considering becoming a nun because I think God might be calling me. Right now I am only in high school but I thought I should look in to the religious life. All my life I have thought about becoming a Chef and have loved to cook. I also love to help people but the problem is I can’t stand blood or needles and I don’t think I would like to be a teacher. I know being a nurse or a teacher is the most common things nuns do. I think by learning more about what nuns do and praying a lot I can decide whether or not God is calling me to that life. So I was wondering what other things do nuns do? – Janelle

Dear Janelle, Thank you for writing. Being in high school is a good time to see what religious life and being a nun are all about. It’s also a good time to explore your talents and your dreams of what you’d like to be and do in life.

In terms of religious life, you are already beginning to get to know about religious life and nuns just by visiting A Nun’s Life! I encourage you to also “run into” sisters or nuns in your parish or local community. See #2 of How to Become a Catholic Nun — Meet Nuns (includes how to do nun surveillance).

If you love to cook and want to learn to be a chef, I say go for it! Remember that the gifts and attractions that you have (such as loving to cook) are also God-given and are as much a part of your vocation as a choice of a life commitment.

Now, can you be a chef and a nun? Absolutely! I for one would volunteer immediately to live on mission with you! Traditionally teaching and nursing have been common ministries for Catholic sisters, and these are still two important ways we continue to serve God and God’s people. But we are also involved in many other kinds of work that span careers both within the Church and in non-Church spheres such as medicine, law, publishing, advocacy, social services, policy, etc.

It depends partly on the particular mission of a religious community. Sometimes the mission is focused on caring for children, for example. So all of the ministries of the sisters somehow will reflect that mission. But it could mean being a court advocate for orphans, or tutoring the children of migrant workers, or teaching children how to choose and prepare healthy meals! If you choose to become a chef, there will be many ways that your training will be invaluable as a form of ministry. If you are considering a cloistered community, a chef-nun might be invited to run the monastery kitchen or to work with the monastery’s “store” (e.g. monasteries that make bread, beer, cheese, etc. to sell). I’m not a cloistered nun so I’m not sure how exactly they would work this, but I’m sure that whatever gifts a woman comes with, there will be a way to use those gifts.

So the upshot is that nuns can pretty much do anything that serves the mission of their community. You may find that because of your gifts and attractions that a particular community resonates more with you. That’s why it’s good to explore a variety of religious communities. The Holy Spirit will be with you all the way, guiding you and helping you to embrace your call, whatever it may be.

Finally, I encourage you to check out the Vocation Forum here at A Nun’s Life. It’s a place to hang out with others who are considering religious life or thinking about their life’s vocation.

The January-March 2009 issue of Vocations and Prayer, the Catholic magazine on vocation ministry, features an article on people with hearing impairments pursuing a call to religious or priestly life. Many people have asked me about this and about having other disabilities or impairments. It’s an important issue which vocation ministers and other church leaders need to be aware of and to find ways to support and encourage.

The main article in Vocations and Prayer is “God Created Me a Deaf Person for His Glory: An interview with Fr. Tom Coughlin, OP Miss” by Sister Lou Ella Hickman, IWBS. In the interview, Father Tom tells of being turned down by several seminaries because of his hearing impairment. He eventually was accepted but faced a lot of opposition. He says,

Most people were not prepared to welcome a deaf person. I was all alone but the vocation director … told me “You have to open the door. You have to suffer so others won’t.”

Father Tom, with the encouragement of Father Timothy Radcliffe (former general master of the Dominicans), started a new Dominican community for people who are deaf. The community, called the Dominican Missionaries, has grown to 9 members.

While it’s not easy to pursue a religious vocation when you are deaf, there are resources out there. These are the ones listed in the magazine:

Religious Communities for Women

• Sisters of Saint Joseph of Carondelet, Saint Louis Province (interestingly, this community came from France to the US in order to teach persons who are deaf.)
• Sisters of the Lamb of God

Religious Communities for Men

• Dominican Missionaries
• Oblates of Saint Francis de Sales, Toledo-Detroit Province
• Redemptorists, Denver Province
• Redemptorists, Baltimore Province

Diocesan Seminaries

• Saint Patrick’s Seminary and University
• Saint Joseph Seminary College

If you know of any religious communities of sisters or nuns that can be a good resource for women who are deaf considering religious life, please let us know!

Discerning a call to become a Catholic sister or nun can be challenging enough (who me, Lord??) but figuring out how to break the news to family and friends is a whole other challenge.

I recently received a question about how to break the news to one’s parents. Here it is in part.

I am very nervous about how they will take the news because becoming a sister is something so radical compared to even what I wanted for myself for years! …. With discussions of college and my future happening at home every day, I feel like I’m pretending to be something I’m not, but I have absolutely no idea how to go about breaking the news…. They know I am incredibly Catholic and I have the reputation as being the most religious in the family, but I am still afraid my news will shock and possibly disappoint them. I know I will eventually have their support, but it is their understanding I crave and I am afraid that that will not happen. When you told your parents, did you tell them suddenly and all at once? Did you sit down at dinner and say “HEY GUESS WHAT! I’m going to be a nun and serve our LORD and our GOD!” or did you do it in small doses, making small hints until they finally guessed it for themselves?

It can be very difficult to put into words one’s call, because you’re probably still figuring it out for yourself and trying to live into what it might mean for your life and future. To actually articulate this to someone else, especially someone whom you love and don’t want to disappoint, can be a real challenge. Even if others are familiar with religious life, it is usually a bit of a jolt for them to think that you — their child, their best friend, their sibling — are thinking about it for real.

Because I was away at college, I could pursue my call without worrying that my family would find out. Even though I was surrounded by religious and seminarians at my theology school, I still didn’t say much about my own possible call because I was still shocked myself. And, I wasn’t sure how it would affect my relationship with them. Would they treat me differently? Or, if I decided not to become a nun, would they be disappointed? Or what if I fell in love in the midst of discerning? How awkward would that be?!

As for my parents and family, I waited until I was sure that this was something that I was going to do. I wanted to get to a place within myself that I could feel strong and know how to talk about my feelings and this sense of call. I wanted to know within myself that even if my family never “got” what I wanted to do, that I’d still be okay with it, albeit a bit sad. I talked a lot with my IHM mentors about how to approach my parents. And I talked first with my sister and brother about it because I knew I’d get the straight-up-without-ice response from them — as well as their love and support.

It wasn’t easy letting my parents and others know. They had a LOT of questions which I wasn’t always sure how to answer. Some wondered if I was being brainwashed, others if I was heartbroken from my last relationship. Some thought I was too young. Almost all feared that I was “limiting” myself, that I was somehow boxing myself in. They feared that I was going to become less of myself — or not myself at all.

Even though I tried to reassure them that become a nun was the most freeing thing I’d ever done, that it was helping me to become more myself, they just didn’t know for sure until they saw me live into it. They saw that I still told the same stupid jokes, that I still loved to hike and feed the chickadees, and that I still loved them dearly.

There’s no easy way to tell family and friends, but remember that this is your call and that just as much as God is leading you, God is also working in your family and friends’ lives too. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and your call when you begin to talk about it with others because they’ll have tons of questions for you, and probably a few challenges. Hang in there with them, and hang in there with yourself. Know that my prayers are with you.

I’d love to hear from others about how they broke the news. Also, any parents or friends out there who have had the experience of being told that a loved one wishes to become a nun? How did you experience hearing the news for the first time?

In response to my post about the movie Nun of That, Sister Louise O’Rourke, PDDM, sent me a link to a video she created following a 2-week intensive course of video production in 2004. Sister Louise is a Catholic sister of the Pious Disciples of the Divine Master based in Ireland.

Sister Louise’s goal in creating the video was to challenge the stereotypes of young people toward religious and vice-versa. I think she did a great job. Sister notes that not only is she a real sister, but she did all her own stunts! Also, she notes to ignore the 1st minute of the video as it was the first video exercise she had to do.

Excellent job, Sister Louise! Thank you for sending this. You show that nuns are real people who are dedicated to God and who live and minister as film producers or ninjas while at the same time being contemplative, relevant, joyful, smart women of faith.

Welcome to A Nun’s Life, and welcome to our online discussion with Sister Mary McDevitt, a Catholic Sister in my IHM Congregation and a spiritual director. Sister Mary will be joining Sister Maxine Kollasch and myself in order to listen to and respond to your questions about discernment and how to know God is calling you.

This discussion takes place right here on this page in the comment section (below). We begin at 7 p.m. EST and go until 9 p.m

I asked Sister Mary a few preliminary questions just to give us a glimpse of who she is. Read more on my original post introducing Sister Mary.

Sister Julie: Who are the IHM Sisters of Monroe, Michigan? What is your spirituality and mission/ministry?

Sister Mary: The IHM Sisters were founded in 1845 for the education of children in the area. Through the years we have expanded to broader and wider ministries. After a long history of classroom teaching, we have come to understand education in many forms through parishes, retreats, and other ministries. Some still are called to ministry within schools.

The spirituality of IHMs is to share in the work of Jesus to bring about the “dream of God” for this world and for even for the whole planet. Since our earliest history there is a predilection to minister to those who are in dire straits either directly or through education indirectly.

Sister Julie: What was it like for you when you discerned becoming a Catholic sister and entering the IHM community?

Sister Mary: In the 1950s when I considered my future, vowed religious life was the only way I could think of enjoying a life given within the Church for the building up of the Body of Christ. Lay ministry was not very much in vogue. The vowed life seemed to be as a way to give my life totally to the work of God.

Sister Julie: What kind of work do you do at Visitation Spirituality Center?

Sister Mary: Visitation North Spirituality center is a place of welcome for all those who seek some space and time for themselves. We offer spiritual direction, at home retreats, as well as thematic presentations such as Lent, grief, and creative space for artists.

Please extend a warm welcome to Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM.

In yesterday’s post on 4 Steps for Discernment and Decision-Making, Sister Mary noted in Step 2 that you can create a kind of chart to help you figure out how you feel about a decision that you have to make.

I thought I’d give you an example of what that chart might look like for the question, Should I go to graduate school or not?

The pros and cons don’t have to seem like significant reasons, they just have to be important to us. I remember when I had to choose a high school, I ended up going to one because their basketball uniforms looked more cool than the other school’s. Now it wasn’t my only reason, but that desire encapsulated for me all that I felt about the school and that I could envision myself in that school, with those people, and, of course, in that uniform!

Try making a chart for yourself. Consider something in your life that requires you to make a decision. It might be big, it might be small. Try it out and be attentive to the guidance that Sister Mary gives on discernment. Let us know how it goes.

What questions or observations do you have for Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM, in preparation for our online discussion with Sister Mary this Sunday, February 15, from 7-9 p.m. EST?

In Decision-Making Using a Process of Discernment of Spirits, Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM, led us through understanding discernment, consolations, and desolations. When discerning and having to make a significant decision, it’s important to be aware your own inner spirit which is where God dwells within you. Today, Sister Mary takes us through concrete steps to help us figure out how God is calling us. She uses the discernment question example from the previous post, “Should I go to graduate school or not?”

Now, let’s get practical.

Are there steps I can take once I am more aware of my inner spirit?

1. Pray

• I pray and stay in the presence of God often.
• I ask God to give me freedom of spirit.
• I try to say to God, “Whatever choice is your will, it’s ok with me.”
• When I lift up each choice to God — e.g., about going to graduate school — I notice what my heart says. I check out my thoughts, too, and the long-range consequences of this action.

2. Write down two columns for each choice

• I line up the pros and cons of the situations. Two columns on why I would not go to graduate school — the good side (pro), and the not-so-good side (con).
• Then I do the same with the reverse: the pros and cons of going to grad school.
• I pray over the list and see which reasons are most moving, most serious and which affect my relationships with other people.
• One expert suggests: Be on your death-bed and ask which choice you would be glad you made.
• For Christians: Bring the decision and kneel under the Cross of Christ. How does it make sense there? Will this decision bring me closer to Jesus Christ in my living the Gospel?

3. Time for confirmation

• Once I have made a tentative decision, I talk it over with those who know me.
• I wait awhile and see if I feel peaceful in this decision as it becomes clearer.

4. Choose, act and be grateful

• One or many of these steps may guide me. I may wish to do these steps with a spiritual companion.

Sister Mary has given us a lot to think and pray on. In preparation for our live discussion with Sister Mary this Sunday, February 15, from 7-9 p.m. EST, please offer your comments and questions below.

Discernment is a topic that regularly comes up on A Nun’s Life. Last month I wrote a post called How is God calling you? and a few of you asked about continuing the conversation with a spiritual director. Well, I’ve been working on that and am pleased to announce that one of my IHM Sisters who is a spiritual director will be joining us this Sunday evening from 7-9 p.m. EST for a discussion on discernment and decision-making from a faith perspective.

Sister Mary McDevitt is an Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM) Sister from Monroe, Michigan. For many years, she worked in areas of spiritual formation within the IHM congregation and engaged in retreat work. Sister Mary taught history of spirituality and spiritual direction at a local seminary in Orchard Lake, Michigan. There she assisted seminarians and lay men and women to complete their Master of Divinity degrees before they served as pastors, associates and staff in parishes. Sister Mary is now director of Visitation North Spirituality Center in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.

In preparation for Sister Mary’s visit, I asked her to provide us with an overview of what discernment is and some concrete steps to help us figure out how God is calling us. Over the next few days, I’ll post her reflections on discernment and we can chat about it. Then on Sunday, Sister Mary will join us on the blog for a live discussion (like how we did the Doubt movie discussion).

Stay tuned for more on discernment and details about Sunday’s live discussion with Sister Mary. Feel free to offer any preliminary thoughts, questions, etc. on discernment or ideas of what you’d like to see Sister Mary address within the realm of discernment. And please spread the word about this event!

Today is the World Day for Consecrated Life. It was initiated by the Vatican in 1997 and is an opportunity to celebrate the life and work of women and men religious and to pray for vocations to consecrated life.

In a recent news release, Cardinal Sean O’Malley, OFM Cap., chairman of the U.S. Bishops’ Committee on Clergy, Consecrated Life and Vocations, noted that “We Americans owe a huge debt of gratitude to the religious in our nation. Their loyal service to our church and country are unparalleled…. The presence of both apostolic and cloistered religious in our nation has been a source of spiritual comfort to many people, Catholic and non-Catholic alike. I don’t know of any other country that can make such a boast.”

A Nun’s Life is participating in today’s celebration by hosting a “social hour” with people discerning God’s call and with a guest blog post at From the Pews in the Back.

1. The social hour is on the Vocation Forum at 8 p.m. EST tonight. All are welcome. To participate in the discussion, you have to be a member of the forum (free and easy to register). Once you are a member, look for the topic “February 8 Social Hour” in the discussion area. Also, I put together some Suggestions for a “Live” Discussion.
2. On the blog From the Pews in the Back I wrote a post today called For the Sake of the Gospel. It’s based on the Sunday readings and talks about my own experience of being called to consecrated life. Stop by and offer your comments.

Have a blessed day!

Is God really calling me? How do I figure out what God is trying to say to me? Am I the only one who feels this way?

If you have some of these questions, especially if you are kinda, sorta attracted to (but simultaneously terrified of) a call to consecrated life in the Catholic Church, then the Vocation Forum is for you. What is the Vocation Forum, you ask? It’s a discussion area for people who are discerning God’s call in their life. It’s a place to share vocation resources and questions with other discerners. It’s a fairly new forum and one that we hope will grow and continue to be a welcoming, supportive place for people discerning. Got a friend or daughter or coworker who is thinking about religious life or wondering what their call is? Send them over to the Vocation Forum.

Occasionally I or my nun Sister Maxine Kollasch, IHM, will be on the forum to support you and to figure out any weird technical issues, but mainly this is your place, your conversation.

Not sure if this is for you? Well, give it a shot. A good way to get to know the forum will be at our live “social hour” this Sunday, February 8, 2009, at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time. It’s an opportunity to get to know others and to discuss thoughts and questions around discerning God’s call.

You need to be a member of the forum to participate, but not to worry, membership is free and easy to do. If you have any questions, just let me know. Feel free to comment below. Also, if you have any other requests or suggestions around how A Nun’s Life can help with vocational questions, issues, etc. please let us know!

And if you’d like to check out other resources that help in discerning your calling, visit Catholics on Call or VISION Vocation website.

Rev. Michael A. Renninger and the Catholic Diocese of Richmond are doing some innovative vocation work on online. Behind the Collar is a website where people can have “an inside look at life as a priest”. Father Renninger, the diocesan vicar for vocations, worked with an advertising agency to develop a campaign to be present online to young men who are discerning a vocation to the priesthood and to give a “behind the scenes” look at the life as a priest.

Behind the Collar features an array of social media in order to give young men multiple doors through which to learn about a vocation to the priesthood. There are videos and podcasts of informal chats between “Father Mike” (as he’s known online) and seminarians discussing priestly life, family reactions, celibacy and more. There are links to Behind the Collar on the social networking sites Facebook and MySpace. And there are frequently asked questions about become a priest.

The website is a very good example being present to young people online and using the media and language that young people are familiar with. Kudos to the Diocese of Richmond! My prayers are with you.

Learn more at the Behind the Collar website and also in a recent article in the Richmond Times, Online campaign helps recruit priests in Virginia.

Ever wonder how cloistered nuns deal with matters outside the cloister? In many cases, such matters are taken care of by members of the religious community who are known as extern sisters.

Sister Hildegard referred to extern sisters just the other day on a post I wrote about lay sisters. I thought I’d clarify by explaining in a bit more detail what an extern sister is in the Catholic tradition.

Extern sisters are not the same as lay sisters as described in the earlier post. Extern sisters belong to cloistered communities that observe strict enclosure. These sisters are full members of the community, having all the rights and privileges that all the sisters share. What makes them different from the cloistered nuns in their community is that part of their task within the community is to relate to people and the world outside the cloister. They express the charism of the community in their active lifestyle while the cloistered nuns express the same charism through their contemplative lifestyle. These “outdoor sisters” are not under strict enclosure so that they can interact with the outside world (e.g., go grocery shopping, contract service work for the monastery, relate to church folks and pilgrims, etc.).

Sister Mariam, ocd, of the Carmelites of Saint Thomas Monastery helped me better understand the vocation of extern sisters. She wrote to me telling me a bit of the origin of extern sisters in the Carmelite tradition:

Because of the strict enclosure, it was always necessary to have some lay person outside who would look after the Chapel, and do some of the necessary liaison work between the nuns and the outside world. This is still the position in many monasteries, particularly in Spain. However, in France, in the 1700’s (I think) these lay persons were allowed to make simple vows and wear a religious habit, distinctive from the cloistered nuns. With the development of time, they were fully incorporated into the Carmelite Order, and special legislation was made for them. It is a unique sort of vocation, very suited to those who feel called to a life of deep prayer, and service to others, but not to the strict enclosure of cloistered nuns. We even have two “Blessed” who were extern Sisters, who belonged to the community of Compiegne, martyred during the French Revolution.

Visit the website of Sister Mariam’s community, Saint Thomas Monastery in Auckland, New Zealand, for a good description of the vocation of an extern sister today.

Are there any extern sisters or brothers reading who would like to tell us a bit more about their vocation? We’d love to hear from you.

Every person is called by God, and that means you too! Sometimes this call is best expressed through a life of marriage and parenthood, and other times through consecrated life such as being a Catholic sister or a monk or a deacon. God also calls us in other ways, such as to this or that relationship or job or ministry. No matter who you are, no matter what creed you profess, no matter your history or how you are living right now, you are called.

It can be both exhilarating and perhaps a bit spooky to know that is calling you (yes, you). The spooky part (for me anyways) came from my fear that God had one expectation for my life and if I didn’t figure it out I was screwed. But I’ve realized that’s not the case at all. God’s desire for us is always goodness, that which helps us to best be us and to best relate to God and to serve our community (be it our family, neighborhood, country or universe). There can be many ways to live out God’s call. I’ve also realized that we’re not stuck trying to figure things out by ourselves. God’s Spirit is right there with us, guiding and nudging us along, in sometimes unexpected ways.

Take a listen again to yesterday’s “nuncast” podcast with Sister Pat. She said some pretty powerful things about being called by God and what God’s desire is for us.

If you are sort of, kind of, maybe but not really, thinking about religious life, why not give it a shot and check it out. And if I can help in any way, drop me an email and I’d be glad to listen and help out.

Also, check out the Vocation Forum on A Nun’s Life. You just might find others like yourself who have questions and who are open to exploring how God is working in their life.

How is God calling you?

The calling to be a nun is a pretty amazing thing. It’s a real adventure because it is always full of twists and turns and the unexpected. You never know where the Spirit will lead you. Being a nun is also pretty countercultural — we live in community, we hold all things in common, and we are celibate — all these things are meant to help us be free, free to serve God and God’s people. It’s a radical way of life.

Sometimes it’s difficult to know if what you feel is really real until you begin to act on it, test it out. Keep this desire in your prayers and take some steps to see what being a nun is like. Read a book about or by a nun, go on retreat at a convent, or get to know some sisters. Also, it’s okay to want to think about becoming a nun but also feeling bummed out about being a wife and mom. Any life choice a person makes involves some kind of sacrifice — doesn’t mean that a nun wouldn’t have made a wonderful mom or wife. This is definitely something that is good to pray on and begin to talk with a spiritual director about.

For some people, the call is crystal clear. For others, like myself, it’s a process of trying it out, testing it, and ultimately living into it to see if that is where God is calling me. I think it becomes clear when you feel like it is as natural as breathing air, that it just “fits” with you. When you feel like you are living fully into who God calls you to be and feel like you are growing and able to use your gifts and talents for the good of God, the Church and the world. For me there was no precise moment or flash in the sky, it’s just that I grew into it and was at peace, even though I doubted, struggled, resisted, yelled … there was always this undercurrent of peace.

I personally never wanted to be a nun. It was the kind of thing that snuck up on me. I resisted and resisted because I wanted to be married and have a family. But the more I considered religious life, the more it just seemed to fit me. I tested it out, even when I wasn’t totally sure. What I found was that learning about religious life and getting to know sisters helped me to sort of try it on and begin to imagine my self as a sister and see if it was really something God was calling me to. There was a lot of uncertainty, but also a lot of peace. It took time time for me to grow into God’s call for me. Over time a lot of questions were ones that I was able to live with — and be happy with.

If you are thinking about becoming a nun or are discerning any major life decision, find ways to test it out and don’t be discouraged if things are unclear or unsettling for a bit. Hang in there and know that the Spirit is with you and is guiding you. If you’d like to hang out with others who are discerning, do stop by Vocation Forum. Or for more info you might stop by Vision vocation network or Catholics on Call.

Blessings!

Of the many questions that you folks asked of my IHM Sisters
(see Nun Questions) this one was one of the more difficult ones.

Have you ever experienced something that made you re-evaluate your vocation? How did you overcome that experience? (from mjpss)

It is a very good and important question, but I wasn’t sure that anyone would want to spontaneously answer the question — let alone on video camera! I think it’s a question that many people have on their minds, especially as they consider a vocation to religious life.

I am happy to say I was proven wrong because one of my IHM Sisters did step up and take this question on. I’ve watched this video at least a dozen times and am still blown away.

Sister Candyce Rekart, IHM, is a Catholic nun belonging to the Immaculate Heart of Mary congregation. Sister Candyce is a clinical psychologist ministering at Clinica de Salud Mental Inc. in Puerto Rico.

Question from Jess …

Hi Sister, Do you feel lonely as a nun? Do you feel lonely not having a family and how do you deal with it? The call to be single and without family is pretty huge. How do you cope?

I’ve written a little about feeling lonely and being a nun at Do Nuns Ever Feel Lonely? I also asked Sister Laurel, about being a hermit and experiencing loneliness. The loneliness, in many ways, is no different than the loneliness that one feels as a single person, as a person in a committed relationship, or as a married person. Loneliness for me has to do with that part of me that only God can fill. Sometimes I try to fill it with things that are not God – other relationships, my work, various distractions, etc. These things in themselves are not bad or wrong, but when I put them in the place that God alone can fill, then I’m the one who suffers that feeling of loneliness because I’ve placed things in between God and myself.

Now in terms of being a nun or being a single person, there is another kind of loneliness – the loneliness of not having an exclusive and committed partner, that one person who is there for you in all ways, the person you come home to and share your life with. In my 10+ years as a religious, I certainly have felt this kind of loneliness or longing for that one person – often it is a fleeting feeling, something that pops up after seeing a mushy romance flick or seeing the beautiful ways that couples I know live and grow together in love. But for me it’s not a bad feeling or one that causes me regret. The reason is because I am at home in my vocation and in my IHM community. I am at home with God. It’s okay to feel like, wow what would it have been like if I had married so-and-so? What would it be like to give birth, to hold my own child? I can reflect on these, maybe grieve them a bit, but I always return to the joy and delight in the life that I have chosen by the grace of God. I delight in my nephews and the children of my family and friends. I rejoice in the hospitality and love shown to me by my family’s families and my friend’s families. It’s not the same as having your own, true. But for me, it is enough.

A nun’s singleness is different from a single person’s singleness. Catholic sisters and nuns are called into a life of community. Our common life – sharing all finances, possessions, mission, gifts, etc. I have my wonderful Vieira family – parents, siblings, assorted relatives – and I have my IHM family. These are women with whom I vow to live for God through our particular charism and way of life. They are companions on the journey with me, there with me in good times and bad.

Though single people do not have a built-in community like nuns do, I think it would be important to have people around you that share in your vocation and that can support and encourage you. If you feel called to lifelong singlehood as a vocation from God, I encourage you to seek a spiritual director who can help you discern and authentically and joyfully live this call. As with all vocations, it is not without its struggles but it also has its joys and adventures!

Question from Hayden …

Hi Sister Julie! First of all, I admire you so much! Nuns fascinate me so much. What an amazing spirit you have to lead a life totally for Christ. I am a Christian (Episcopal; raised Episcopal, Methodist, and went to a Church of Christ College), and desire to be closer to God every day! I do have a great relationship with Him, but sometimes think I have trouble hearing what He is telling me. Any advice? I want to learn how to really listen with an open heart and mind. I think it was fate that I even stumbled upon your blog! You are amazing!

Hayden, I’m so glad you came by for visit. Your question is an important one, one that many people including myself have wrestled with. Even Saint Teresa of Avila — a Doctor of the Church in the Roman Catholic tradition because of her teachings on prayer — struggled with prayer and listening to God.

The first thing I want to say is that your very desire to be closer to God is itself a clear indication that God is working within you, drawing you close. As Thomas Merton, the great spiritual writer and Cistercian monk, wrote in a prayer, “I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have this desire in all that I am doing.” He continued, saying, “And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.” For me, that is one of the key things to listening to God and responding to God’s call — tapping into that God-inspired desire within yourself to please God, to respond to God in love, to reverence and stand in awe of God.

One of the best ways to do this is to spend time with God as much as you can. Practice Saint Paul’s injunction that we “pray without ceasing“. That means to have a spirit of prayer in all that you do, as you go about your daily life. It also means taking time just to be with God, alone and without distraction. This can be tough to do, and it is also a very intimate and vulnerable thing to do. But just as we would in a relationship with a loved one, we grow into these moments, we’re able to behold a sunset together without words or to gaze into one another’s eyes with great love. These experiences with God nurture us and help us be more in tuned with what God’s desire is for us, what God’s voice “sounds” or “feels” like.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola teaches that there are some other specific ways to get in tune with God’s call to you and to help you better listen to and respond to God. The overall term for this is “discernment”. Ignatius developed a simple method by which you can review each day in a way that will help you grow in self-understanding and free you to follow God’s will. This practice is called the Daily Examen.

Those are just a few of my thoughts as I pray with you, Hayden, and all of us who long to draw close to God.

What ideas or thoughts does this inspire in you? What helps you to listen to God’s call to you?

On Friday, October 10th, 2008, the participants of the 2008 NRVC Convocation prayerfully processed two by two through the streets of Louisville to the Cathedral of the Assumption. It was a visible way for us — Catholic religious sisters, brothers, lay people, monks, nuns, and priests from across the world — to stand in solidarity with the people of Louisville and the Catholic community.

Along the way we received many curious stares and a bit of laughter, but overall people met us with genuine respect and reverence. One gentleman even crossed the street to talk with one of the nuns and ask who we were and what we were doing.

All along the way the Louisville police blocked traffic so that we could process to the Cathedral without stopping.

Motorists were not all that happy, and I felt bad. But I also hoped that our presence would be not just a traffic stop sign, but a real “stop sign” inviting people if even for a second to consider pausing in the midst of the ordinary traffic of everyday life and remembering that they are beloved of God.

One of the nuns told me a great story about processing. She said that there was one intersection that the police had not blocked off near the Cathedral. Instead, there were two Knights of Columbus standing in the middle of the intersection holding up their hands to stop traffic. Although I wish I had a picture of that, the image of her words created a profound visual image in my mind — two Knights in full regalia, arms outstretched, white gloves pure as snow held up so as to stop traffic on a busy downtown intersection so that a silent procession of praying people could pass safely. The image resonated deep within me as I considered how people like the Knights of Columbus “have our backs” as religious, they protect us and help us along as we minister and pray. I was so deeply touched by their love and care for us.

At the steps of the Cathedral, the Knights of Columbus received us and welcomed us into the House of God.

We entered the Cathedral and dipped our fingers into the holy water of the Baptismal Font, a symbol gesture reminding us of our own Baptism and new life in Christ.

We began Solemn Vespers with the Litany of the Saints which was so solemn and so beautiful that it gave me chills. Archbishop Joseph E. Kurtz presided over the liturgy, and during his homily he expressed his encouragement, support and gratitude of the work of Vocation Directors.

Solemn Vespers was one of the most amazing prayer experiences I have had. The community and solidarity I felt with other religious and vocation ministers and with God was palpable. It was definitely a peak moment for me both at the convocation and in my life.

Nunday is here and have I got a nun photo and story for you! We had a free afternoon to explore Louisville and the environs during the conference. Some folks hopped on boats for a tour via the Ohio River, some headed out to the Abbey of Gethsemane for a visit to the Cistercian monks and the home and grave of Brother Louis, aka Thomas Merton.

My afternoon started off with a rowdy group of vocation directors headed to lunch at TGIF’s on the 4th Street Live! strip of Louisville. The group consisted of my friend and sister Marcia of the Oblate Sisters of Providence, my friend Kelly visiting from ministering in the Appalachian Mountains, Sister Mary Gregory, Brother Ken from Ottawa, Mark a married layman leading a vocations office in California, and Sister Judy of Digital Nun blog. It was a riotous and thoroughly enjoyable lunch, time to get to know one another and to enjoy one another’s company.

On the way home, we stopped off at the Louisville Visitors Center for a photo op with none other than the Colonel himself, Colonel Harland Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken. We lost Sister Mary Gregory but picked up two Pauline Sisters – Mary Michael and another nun whose name I missed.

Sister Marcia, Sister Julie, Pauline Sister, Sister Mary Michael, Brother Ken, Mark, Colonel, Kelly, Sister Judy

Keep sending in your nun photos so that I’ll have stuff to post on Monday which, as you know, is now Nunday! For more details, read my post Nun Photos – Got em? Send em!

See all “Monday is Nunday” nun photos.

Today is my final day at the National Religious Vocation Conference Convocation 2008. It has been a privilege to be among so many vocation ministers dedicated to helping people discern God’s call in their life and to passionately promoting religious life. Even though I am not a vocation director, I feel very much at home here among these women and men religious. I too want to promote religious life and help people grow in their relationship with God and others.

In addition to all that very cool stuff, I have to say it has been an absolute blast hanging out with “my peeps”. It’s like being home, being with family, with people who know us and come out of a similar foundation and culture. I also see in these religious echoes of my own hopes and joys and faith. I’d love to share with you some of my experiences over this coming week, to give you a glimpse into this culture and spirit of Catholic religious life. I have some great photos to show you too. You’ll definitely want to check out NUNDAY tomorrow for awesome nun photos!

Oh, and I hope you like this picture. I had to take this photo of the placard at the entrance of Nunn Meeting Room, one of the NRVC meeting rooms at Galt House Hotel and Suites. Louie B. Nunn was Kentucky’s governor from 1967 to 1971. How appropriate to have a Nunn room for a conference on religious life!

I am at a keynote at the National Religious Vocation Conference. Father Donald Senior, CP, is discussing the life and teaching of the great apostle Paul. He is looking at the deep structure of Paul’s writings and life and placing the life and ministry of a vocation minister in light of Paul.

He mentioned the role of Ananias in Paul’s life as someone who encouraged Paul in finding his call. (See Acts of the Apostles 9 for the story.) Ananias gave Paul the space he needed to heal after his conversion from tormenter to “chosen vessel”. Ananias guided Paul to embrace God’s call, and he sent Paul out to proclaim the Good News and live out his vocation.

Who are the Ananias’s in your life? How can you be an Ananias to someone?

Freakin’ is one of those great multipurpose words which serves to underscore a certain reality. In this case, NUNS. I’m in Louisville for a vocations conference and there are nuns everywhere. Nuns to the right of me. Nuns to the left of me. It’s freakin’ awesome. Forgive me but I just can’t think of a better phrase than that!

In addition to beaucoup d’nuns, there are also religious priests, brothers, friars and monks. (FYI, by religious priests I mean priests that belong to a religious community and take the same vows I do — celibacy, poverty, and obedience — not diocesan priests who do not profess vows.)

My nundar is very sharp so I see nuns everywhere. Last night I went with my IHM Sisters Mary Bea (of hermit crab fame and also my congregation’s vocation director) and Ellen (vocation director for the Archdiocese of Detroit) to a local restaurant. There had to be at least a dozen to two dozen Catholic sisters and brothers and priests there. It was awesome. Of course we ended up knowing people. I met Sister Ruth Harkins, a Scranton IHM Sister (the Scranton IHMs are our cousins — I’m a Monroe IHM), and then on the way home, we ran into the Adrian Dominicans’ vocation director and a San Rafael Dominican who happens to be a friend of mine on Facebook! Crazy!

Then this morning I found my way to the hotel gym — amazing! Every conceivable workout machine. And of course, there were nuns including my San Rafael friend.

So I am having a blast hanging out with my own IHM Sisters and meeting all kinds of nuns. The conference hasn’t even started yet! I’m also hoping to get to know other sisters, brothers and priests involved in vocation work for their communities and dioceses.

I will keep you updated on my experiences here because it is just so cool to be surrounded by “my people”. And to also spend some time learning about how to encourage vocations to consecrated life and the various Catholic vocations. More later.

Signing off from Nun Convention 2008!

Just found this story via my Plurk friends … “Woman is first consecrated virgin in Richmond diocese” by Steven G. Vegh (The Virginian-Pilot © July 27, 2008)

Here’s the first section of the article:

Fresh-faced and vivacious, Bernadette Snyder says she grew up in Virginia assuming Catholic girls like her either became nuns or found a man.

At 29, she is still single, and assuredly not a nun.

“I mean, do you see this in a convent?” Snyder said, glancing at her flowered skirt, peasant blouse and jewelry. “It just doesn’t happen. I mean, really!”

Instead, Snyder chose a little-known third path with a long tradition in Catholicism: She became a consecrated, perpetual virgin – the first in the 188-year history of the Richmond diocese, which includes Hampton Roads.

Wearing a white sundress and big pink earrings, Snyder knelt in May as Bishop Francis X. DiLorenzo laid hands on hers in the rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity of Women Living in the World.

It’s pretty cool that there is interested in this Catholic vocation of consecrated virginity. It most definitely is not widely known which is unfortunate because people like Bernadette might find their life’s calling within that vocation. It’s important that we know more about this vocation and encourage others to consider it. Pope Benedict XVI recently spoke about the beauty of this Catholic vocation of consecrated virginity. The pope noted:

“The choice of virginal life is an allusion to the transitory nature of earthly things and an anticipation of future good. Be witnesses of vigilant and industrious hope, of joy, of the peace that belongs to those who abandon themselves to the love of God. Be present in the world, yet pilgrims on the journey to the kingdom.”

I do beg to differ, however, with the characterization of nuns in this article (I’m very protective of the image of Catholic nuns as A Nun’s Life readers probably know by now!). I know lots of nuns who wear ordinary, modest outfits which may include flowered skirts, peasant blouses, or jewelry. Why, just the other day I was donning my cycling habit — coolmax tank top, cool biker-dude sunglasses, and black spandex shorts (okay, well that’s something that no one should admit to in public, but I’m trying to make a point here ). There are a variety of styles of dress that Catholic nuns wear, among them are the “traditional” habit, the modified habit with or without veil, and dress that resembles the ordinary, modest clothing of a particular culture.

For whatever reason (intrigue, sensationalism, ignorance, cutesie-ness, etc.) the writer of this article about Bernadette chose to make dress an issue and to play it against stereotypes of nuns as women who only ever wear traditional habits and who lack personal flair. (Note: this is a false stereotype but one which surfaces again and again.)

Okay, i’m done with my nun stereotype crusade, at least for now.

Back to this amazing event … wow, a young woman becoming a consecrated virgin. Way to go, Bernadette! You’ve given many people a glimpse into a wonderful vocation within the Catholic Church. Please be assured of my prayers.

Thoughts, reactions, questions?

An article I wrote was just published in VISION Vocation Guide 2009, an annual Catholic religious vocation discernment guide. It is a publication of the National Religious Vocation Conference.

The article is called “How a 16th-century nun guides me in religious life” … can you guess who that nun might be? Here’s a clue: I write about her regularly!

OK, it’s no secret that the 16th-century nun who guides me in all of my life is Saint Teresa of Avila. The article I wrote for VISION began with a few posts here at my blog when I was reading Teresa’s The Book of My Life, her more autobiographical writing. It was a great article to write because I do love Teresa and I believe that she is very present to us today and can be a wonderful guide for people discerning and wanting to grow in their relationship with God and their understanding of life lived in the Spirit.

Order a FREE copy of VISION Vocation Guide from the VISION Vocation Network website or view the digital version of VISION Vocation Guide. The website is the number one place that I recommend to people who are discerning a vocation to religious life and other vocations within the Catholic tradition.

We have many exciting features to help you discern your life’s calling. Whether you are interested in consecrated life—such as becoming a nun, brother, priest, or monk—or simply looking for ways to deepen your faith through volunteer and study opportunities, you’ve come to the right place!

As luck would have it, the Monroe IHM ad appeared just when I was taking this screen shot!

]]> http://anunslife.org/2008/08/01/vision-vocation-guide-2009/feed/ 5 http://anunslife.org/2008/06/26/encouraging-children-vocation/ http://anunslife.org/2008/06/26/encouraging-children-vocation/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2008 10:41:45 +0000 Sister Julie http://anunslife.org/?p=537

I recently received a question from Missi about encouraging young children who express an interest in religious life.

How do you reach out to young children who consider becoming a nun a goal? If there’s a young child out there who would consider it, then how does a parent help aspire that child?

This is a great question, Missi. I had a similar question in my mind as I was writing my Permit Me to Rant post. How can parents and adults today encourage children to be open to religious life if they are continually given images from society that show religious in stereotypical and false ways? And if religious aren’t über visible like they used to be, how can religious make a real impression — visible or otherwise?

I think first the Church and religious need to be proactive about educating Catholics about the beauty and diversity of religious life. Too often we get stuck in Catholic lingo and go on and on about “vocations to the priesthood and religious life” but never really put that in ordinary language that people can recognize themselves in. I never once was struck by a vocation talk at parish — inspired by the good work of religious, clerics, and missionaries, Yes; but able to relate it to my own life, No. Then again, the pulpit and classroom are not the only places to talk about consecrated life. The best of course is to interact in a real way with religious and folks living other vocations.

Young children should always be encouraged to consider all kinds of possibilities for life. If they want to “play priest”, help them to do it and understand how priests serve God and God’s people. If they want to run an orphanage using their stuffed animals and action figures, help them to see how people give their whole lives to help others in need. I’m not talking formal vocation talks to little ones, but to encourage their imagination to embrace all different sorts of ways of living their faith, of being of service to others. Parents do this in all sorts of ways by how they live their own life and model such behavior. If children have direct interest in religious sisters, brothers, lay leaders, deacons, priests, etc. then I’d suggest setting up a time when kids can interact with them, talk to them, anything to help the child know a real person who has given their lives to that vocation. And check out your local Catholic book store for books for little ones about Catholic life and vocations — Pauline Books and Media (Daughters of Saint Paul nuns) is a great place for such things.

Many of you reading are parents and Catholic primary school/parish teachers who may have bumped up against this question. You’ve got a ton of wisdom — what are your thoughts on this? How do we encourage young children who express an interest in a vocation?

A few weeks ago I ran a survey on What would you like to see on aNunsLife.org. The results confirmed my sense that there are many people reading who are discerning religious life or who are just on the tip of considering religious life. There are also many readers who though not considering religious life appreciate the discussions on vocations and religious life because it helps them in their own calling in life.

I’ve been working on ways to be more attuned to vocation questions and concerns and desires and just discovered a plugin that’s an answer to my prayer! (Thank God for all you techies out there — your work is a real ministry because it helps people connect and meet needs. Bless you.)

I now have a page which is called Vocation Forum for those of you who would like to receive support and encouragement as you consider whether God just might be calling you to become a nun or monk, religious sister or brother. It’s also for those of you who are pretty sure religious life is for you but are not yet actively discerning with a religious community. I want to be a support to you and offer you the encouragement and and space you need to listen to what God is calling you to — whatever that ends up being!

On the Vocation Forum page, I noted that I’m not sure what this will develop into — that’s up to the Spirit and those who want to explore their vocation and religious life.

So if you are thinking about (or trying not to think about) becoming a nun or about another way of consecrated life, please click on Vocation Forum — you are most welcome to A Nun’s Life and I’m honored to have the opportunity to connect with you.

P.S. If there are any other kinds of features you’d like to see on A Nun’s Life, let me know!

A friend just sent me a copy of the newsletter Aspirant which is a publication of The Laboure Society. I’ve heard of The Laboure Society but never really knew much about them until I read this newsletter. Here’s what they say:

The Laboure Society affirms and encourages aspirants to priesthood or religious life in the Holy Roman Catholic Church and assists those with financial debt, which prevents them from fulfilling their vocational call.

In the past four years, The Laboure Society has helped 106 individuals to become ordained or professed or to be in various stages of formation: 74 sisters, 11 brothers, and 21 for the priesthood. What a wonderful work they are doing. I encourage you to check out their website.

Financial issues can often be overwhelming for people entering religious life or the priesthood. Aspirants to religious life (people aspiring to be a nun, sister, brother, monk) must be debt free upon entrance to the religious community. While certainly a reasonable requirement, it can be very difficult especially if you’ve just put yourself through school on student loans. I myself have had to deal with the question and I know many other young women and men who are discerning a call to religious life or the priesthood who must delay applying to enter or who give up all together because the debt is overwhelming to them or won’t be paid back for another 30 years on some high interest payment plan.

Here’s an article on just this topic: Debt, the Vocation Killer published by National Catholic Register (March 11, 2007).

If you are discerning a vocation to religious life or the priesthood and have financial debt, read The Laboure Society’s Procedures and Requirements for Aspirant Participation in The Laboure Society and Determination of Funds Allocation.

I can’t tell you how important it is that people like The Laboure Society step up and help out. They are a blessing and a source of encouragement. Without them, many of us might have given up on pursing God’s call to religious life or the priesthood.

A couple weeks ago I gave the first two installments from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God and Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community.

Here’s the final installment. How blessed we are that a hermit is blogging because we don’t often get to see what this vocation and lifestyle is like. The eremitical life (the vocation of being a hermit as recognized by the Catholic Church) is another way to live out God’s call to live fully and to proclaim the Good News of Jesus.

Here are my final questions and Sister Laurel’s responses …

3) How is the eremetical life a gift to the Church and world?

The eremitical life is a gift of profound love, wholeness and sanity in a world which lacks this so very often. I understand it as a life which takes human brokenness and weakness and allows them to be touched and transformed by the grace of God. “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” Probably every vocation does and says this, but I am not sure there is a more vivid example than that of a hermit who lives with, from, and for God alone, and comes to love others as much as possible only through and in God. We live in a world where people are often isolated and distrust the preciousness and meaningfulness of their own lives. The hermit says there is no need to doubt or distrust these things, especially if one is not rich or successful in worldly terms. God alone is sufficient for us, and if we can let that be true our lives have an almost infinite meaningfulness and import — no matter what the world says about such things!

Hermits like to see themselves as the heart of the church silently and steadily beating away at the core of things, mediating God’s grace to church and world. The hermitage is a small but powerful cell in the reality of the coming Kingdom allowing in it’s own tiny way, heaven and earth to interpenetrate each other. A gift to church and world calling each to their very best selves? That is what I think the hermit vocation is about.

4) What would you say to someone considering the eremitical life?

Good question. There is no one thing I would say, I guess. The first thing that tends to pop out is WHY??? Some of the things I would advise would include: have a good spiritual director who can assist you to really grow to human maturity and discern what is of the Spirit and what is not. Be clear that your motives for embracing such a life are rooted in love, love for God, for self, and for others. If you have substantial healing of your own to do, get to it before you make any commitments to eremitical life. The hermitage allows for such work to be done but actual commitments to the life need to have that out of the way as much as possible. Get yourself a decent theological grounding ( also as much as possible), and of course, PRAY!!!

Do you have any other questions for Sister Laurel? Even if you are not called to become a hermit, what are some things about hermits that you can (or would like to) reasonably incorporate into your own life?

Found this article in the Florida Catholic: ‘They better call me Sister Baby’ about Sister Prudentiana Tibabyekomya, 57, of the Sisters of St. Therese of the Little Flower.

Sister Tibabyekomya recently received her master’s degree in pastoral leadership counseling from Saint Leo University. “Sister Tibabyekomya now will return to Africa where she will start a spiritual center in Tanzania that will care for people with AIDS, counsel those traumatized by war, provide for basic and job-skills education of orphans and children from poor families.”

The article mentions how Sister Tibabyekomya came to be a nun.

Sister Tibabyekomya grew up in Burundi. The Sisters of St. Therese of the Little Flower worked in her village and, almost 50 years ago, the nun was a little girl from a family of 16 who was fascinated by the sisters and their work.

“I would see the sisters surrounded by children,” she said. “I would leave home to go be with the sisters and help them prepare their house.”

One day, when she was about 10, she carried her baby brother on her back when she visited the sisters. A nun told her she couldn’t be a nun if she had a baby. Enough said.

“I went home, put the baby on the floor and went back,” she said. “My father came and took me home.”

The article goes on to talk about Sister Tibabyekomya and her community’s work with babies and other orphaned children. Sister was sent to the United States to study theology and was taken in my the ever hospitable Benedictine Sisters and by a local parish.

Having completed her degree, Sister Tibabyekomya now will return to Africa and begin a new project.

Her community has asked her to start a spiritual center in Tanzania that will care for people with AIDS, counsel those traumatized by war, provide for basic and job-skills education of orphans and children from poor families, and provide a retreat site where people can find a little peace in their harsh lives and time to focus on God.

Blessings and congratulations to Sister Tibabyekomya, to her community, and to their ministry.

General Information on the Conversation with Father James Martin, SJ

Online Conversation tomorrow at ANunsLife.org – Preparation
Conversation with James Martin, SJ – Introduction
Follow the James Martin, SJ, conversation on Twitter – Twittering the Event
Wrapping up with Father James Martin, SJ – Preliminary Conclusion
James Martin, SJ, final thoughts on vocations and his blog tour – Final Conclusion

Topics Addressed by Father Martin

James Martin, SJ, …

• responds to Sister Julie’s questions
• on variety of religious communities and on fear discerning
• on whether Protestant churches recognize saints
• on possible indicators of a vocation to religious life
• on young people entering and on fostering vocations
• on “cloistered” and “apostolic” distinctions
• on exploring saints’ biographies and using them to spread the word of God
• on discerning a non-religious vocation
• on the Ignatian style of imaginative prayer
• on people’s reactions to his vocation decision
• on the broader Jesuit family

Father Martin: Thanks so much to Sister Julie for hosting me today on her wonderful blog! I had a terrific time answering so many questions and getting to know her readers.

To wrap up today’s discussions, maybe I could talk a little more about the concept of “vocation,” which seemed to be on everyone’s mind. In short, I believe that a vocation is not so mysterious thing as people might think. Typically it manifests itself through very personal desires. A man and woman fall in love, and so discover their vocation as a married couple. A student might love studying biology, and so manifests his vocation as a doctor or biologist. The same in religious life or the priesthood. A young man or woman (or even an older one!) may find himself or herself powerfully attracted to a particular religious order or the priesthood. This is the “call.” The key is trusting that your deepest desires are God’s desires for you, and the way that God fulfills God’s desires for the world.

So the first step is, as St. Ignatius says, to pray to understand your desires, and believe that they are ways that God is calling you.

The second is to test them out. See where these desires and longings lead you. Explore and investigate. And then…join an order that appeals to you. Enter a seminary that you feel drawn to. Choose a career that you find exciting. Begin a relationship with the person you love. As Father Arrupe said, “Fall in love, stay in love, and that will decide everything.”

Finally, look for signs of “confirmation.” Now that you’ve started testing the waters, or entered the novitiate or seminary, or started a job, or started dating, how do you feel? What’s going on inside of you? St. Ignatius says that confirmation comes with deep feelings of peace and joy, even if there are some occasional problems. That’s a real sign that your “in sync” with the Holy Spirit who dwells within you. You may shock some people with what you’ve chosen, but over time if it’s the right vocation, it will bring joy to everyone. (And you might have to settle at the beginning for peace within you, even if not in others!) Overall, a feeling of “rightness” and gladness, as well as a deeply felt peace, are good signs of confirmation.

Anyway, that’s a little précis on vocation.

So thanks for all those questions. I talk a lot more about all this stuff in my books “My Life with the Saints,” and also “Becoming Who You Are.” I hope you might read them some day.

And do keep me in your prayers.

Sister Julie: What a blessing you have been to us, Father Martin. I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you and with all those who have visited today. May God continue to bless you and all that you do to reflect the light of God within the world. Know that you are always welcome here at A Nun’s Life.

My thanks to Denise for twittering the event at http://twitter.com/Denise205, to Michelle and Molly for your facilitation of the blog event, and to Loyola Press for the raffled book and discount for my readers.

And to my readers: Thank you for participating in Father Martin’s blog tour — for the questions you asked, comments you made, and for just being here. Father Martin’s blog tour continues through this week. Here are the other blogs where you can see what he is up to!

Wednesday, June 4 – The Dawn Patrol

Thursday, June 5 – The Anchoress

Friday, June 6 – Happy Catholic

Tomorrow I’ll let you know who won the autographed copy of My Life with the Saints. For a discount on this book see my post Conversation with James Martin, SJ.

Augustine: This is a really wonderful resource to all discerning Christians. Had I known better about religious life in my youth, I’d probably have become a friar myself.

But given that God has not abandoned me and has blessed me with a wife and a family, I’m grateful to Him, although I carry a certain remorse for not having pursuing further His calling before.

Anyways, I’m now in the novitiate of the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites. It’s been wonderful to grow in the charisms of this religious order as a secular member. I still pause in awe at the wisdom of the Church for providing so many ways for the faithful to strengthen their relationship with the Lord.

However, even though the Jesuits don’t have a third order, it seems to me that secular orders are often overlooked if not downright dismissed at the parish and diocesan level. Evidently, vocation to the priesthood and to the religious life should be a priority, but I think that vocations to religious orders as seculars should also be fostered. What are Fr. Martin’s views on third orders?

Father Martin: Yes, the Jesuits don’t have a third order, or a women’s religious community attached to it. The latter decision was a result of a few unfortunate experiences that St. Ignatius Loyola had early on with a few women who actually joined the order and took vows. But these days there are many women’s communities who base their spirituality and “way of proceeding” on St. Ignatius. Of course I should point out that we have always had Jesuit brothers (technically lay men) who are full-fledged Jesuits (and who also are among our greatest saints). And happily today we have several lay groups that are closely associated with us. For example, the Jesuit Volunteer Corps (for recent college grads working with the poor), Ignatian Lay Volunteers (retired persons working with the poor) as well as the thousands of Jesuit associates who participate (and often run!) our colleges, universities, high schools and retreat centers. And of course the Spiritual Exercises, the foundation of Jesuit life, are available to everyone. So though we don’t have lay associates, we are very closely related to millions of lay people who are part of the Jesuit family.

Karen: Father Martin – I’ve been enjoying the conversation all day today and it has given me much needed breaks of sanity during my work day. I was wondering if you could comment on the reaction your family, friends and business associates had when you told them about your decision to leave the business world and become a priest? Thanks very much for your wonderful comments and for posting chapter 4 of your book.

Father Martin: Oh, my parents hit the roof, my friends thought I was nuts (literally) and my business colleagues thought I was throwing away a good career. That’s a big part of my vocation story, not only because I had to deal with all of that (which was entirely understandable since I hadn’t shared any of my desires with them) but also because they all came to support my decision, and really celebrate it. All of my family, most of my friends and many of my friends from my business days were there both at my vows and my ordination!

Jackie: Hi Father Martin, I read the chapter on Thomas Merton with great interest, and am looking forward to reading the entire book. I could relate to how you were not happy in your corporate job! I would like to do more meaningful work [than my corporate job], and am wondering what your thoughts are on how people discerning a non-religious vocation might go about determining their calling. Many thanks in advance for your answer.

Father Martin: Well, that’s a good question. Really, though, the process is the same for any vocation and any state of life. One’s primary call comes from one’s deepest desires, which are God’s desires planted within us. Then one “tests them out,” to see how things work out. For example, you may have a great desire to be a lawyer and then find out that practicing law is not what you really desire. So “confirmation” of your choice is also important. In general, though, I would say pay attention to what you find attractive, appealing and exciting.

One of my favorite meditations for this is the one by Pedro Arrupe, SJ, the former superior general of the Jesuits (also included in my book!) Here’s his meditation, called “Falling in Love.” It can be applied not only to individuals, or religious communities, but also to anyone’s vocation in life.

Father Arrupe wrote: “Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”

Sister Florence Vales OSC: Hi, Father Martin. Peace and all good wishes. I am a Poor Clare in Chesterfield, NJ and am delighted to be able to ask you a question.

Why is it that young women are not entering Religious life? We all know the typical answers: more choices for women, etc., but in the Franciscan Friars they receive young men, late 20’s to early 30’s. We have a woman in her 50’s, married before, etc., and a young woman from Nigeria, 19, and so much too young to enter, so she is an affiliate. So what are your views? We know there are vocations out there. Most of our vocations come from a Friar suggesting us, but that is far and between.

Is there anything we can do to foster vocations? We do pray everyday for vocations to our way of life and to the Church.

By the way, I am reading “A Jesuit Off-Broadway,” and some of the answers to our culture are there. Good stuff.

Father Martin: Dear Sister, Thanks for your question – I love the Poor Clares! Please do pray for me, and ask your community to do the same! (And thanks for the kind words about “A Jesuit Off-Broadway.”)

I think that young woman are choosing not to enter religious life in the way they did in past decades for a few reasons. First, there are more choices available to women these days who wish to contribute to the life of the church. In the past, many women felt that they could only do this as nuns or sisters. Today they can exercise both service and leadership roles in new ways, in both the single and married lives. Second, both young men and young women seem to have a more difficult time making life-long commitments today. Third, after the Second Vatican Council religious life was no longer seen as “better” than the married life, which may have diminished its appeal. Fourth, the vow of chastity is a particular barrier for many young people who, I think, don’t understand it. (That’s one reason I have a lengthy discussion of it in “My Life with the Saints.”) Finally, there is a simple decline in religiosity, or general interest in the church overall. So those are just a few reasons.

But your question of how to foster vocations is a terrific one. Certainly prayer is the number one thing to do: asking God for vocations. Second, I think it is more important than ever frequently to ask women who you think might be interested in joining whether they have ever considered this. Now I know your sisters must do this already, but I think these days we have be much more assertive in our asking. (For myself, I ask young men regularly about the Jesuits!) Third, perhaps by being creative in the ways that you introduce young women to your congregation: for example, “Come and See” evenings or weekends, visiting local parishes, and so on. And finally, I think it is important, particularly for contemplative communities, to use every possible means of modern technology to reach people who might not have heard of religious life, or, more specifically, may not know much about the Poor Clares. So, for example, besides having pamphlets, writing magazine articles, taking out advertisements, responding to media requests for interviews, etc., it’s also important to use the Internet, YouTube, and every other means of contemporary media to reach young people. The reason for that is because those types of new media are the primary places where young people get their information these days.

But the best answer to that question is one that I heard from the former Superior General of the Jesuits, Peter- Hans Kolvenbach, who visited our novitiate in Boston when I was a first-year novice. I asked Fr. General, “What’s the best way to increase vocation?” And he said something totally unexpected. (I imagined he would say, “We need to advertise more, etc.) He said, “Live you own vocation joyfully!” By that doing that, you naturally attract people to your way of life, the way that early Christians did 2000 years ago.

Hope: Fr. Martin, are there specific personality traits or threads that one discerning religious life should be aware of within herself? Are there any characteristics, thoughts, desires within a person that might be specific to religious life?

Father Martin: To answer your first question, I think that the most important thread in one’s life is that thread of desire, or a simple attraction, to a religious community. Now that might manifest itself, to take one way, through a lifelong attraction to a particular religious community, for example, if you always found yourself attracted to the Carmelites, the Dominicans, the Franciscans. (Or to the lives some of their more famous members, or their founders–like St. Therese of Lisieux or St. Teresa of Avila for the Carmelites; St. Dominic or St. Thomas Aquinas for the Dominicans; or St. Francis of Assisi or St. Clare for the Franciscans and Poor Clares.) So pay attention to the kinds of orders you have been attracted to over the course of your life.

Also, I think the one unique characteristic of attraction to the religious life, which is a little different than attraction to the married life, is that in the case of the married life, you’re attracted to one person, whereas in the case of the religious life you are attracted to a whole group of persons, who may be quite different from one another but who share a common charism, or spirit.

In the end it simply comes down to trusting that your deepest desires are simply God’s desires for you planted deep within you.

hoyasaxa: Hi Father Martin, First of all, thank you for your visit to this blog, I’m looking forward to following the conversation throughout the day.

Based on Sister Julie’s question about your vocation to the Jesuits in particular, I was wondering if you had any advice on sorting through the truly vast number and variety of religious communities out there. The idea of “shopping” for just the right “fit” in a congregation makes me a bit uncomfortable, but sometimes that’s how it feels!

Sister Julie also brought up that great moment when Thomas Merton was asked if he had come to Gethsemani to stay…for me it was his “terrified” reaction that really struck a chord! In the process of discerning a vocation to religious life, fear has been a big struggle for me. There’s fear of commitment, of losing control, of making the “wrong” decision, of family and friends’ potential reactions to such a decision, etc. How do you prevent these fears from becoming paralyzing without simply ignoring them?

Thanks again, Father Martin!

Father Martin: Thanks. Great to be here! 1a. The variety of religious congregations can be dizzying at times,  but I think the easiest way to start is to think about which one really makes you excited about religious life, which one includes those religious men and women to whom you have felt the closest bond, and which one has the “charism”, or governing spirit, that seems to fit your own spirituality best.  You also have to trust in God’s Providence in looking back over your life and seeing which groups you have come into contact with.  That is, which groups did God place along your journey?  And then spend time with the community and see if it fits you. And if you fit them. And trust that God will help you make a good decision.

1b.  Fear is a natural reaction for many reasons. First of all, it’s the fear of the unknown. Second, it’s the fear of, as you say, making the “wrong decision.”  And third, it’s the kind of fear Pete showed at the miraculous catch of fish, as he stood before Jesus: fear in the presence of the divine. For the first fear, it’s good to remind ourselves that change and growth are a natural part of human life, and that the unknown can be wonderful!  For the second fear, you have to remember that if God is leading you to this decision, it will be for the benefit for both you and your friends and family. In other words, trust in God’s plans, and, as Jeremiah says, that God’s plans for you are for comfort and peace. Following your “call” will bring new life to everyone–not just you.  Thirdly, fear in the presence of the divine, which is manifested in your case in the call from God (or initial attraction) is something that will ultimately lead you closer to God, closer to other human beings, and closer to a life of joy and love.  So while a healthy fear of God is good, remember also that God wants you to be happy, and to be closer to Him! 

In the end, as Jesus says, “Fear not!”

Sister Julie: You write about Thomas Merton being asked by the Gethsemani monastery porter, “Have you come here to stay?” (page 57) When did you feel that this question was being posed to you as well? How did it feel to first get a glimpse that God might be calling you to religious life? How did you respond? What did you do with any feelings of uncertainty, fear, resistance, etc.?

Father Martin: In essence, I feel that this question was first “posed” to me when I saw a documentary on PBS about the Trappist monk Thomas Merton in 1986. The “call” to religious life came through a simple attraction to the kind of life Merton led. At the time, I understood that only as a simple attraction. But it was more than that: it was a way of God communicating with me through my emotions and desires. That of course, was the call. And I did have feelings of uncertainty, fear and resistance, that took a while to subside. Ultimately, it became a question of asking myself “What do I want to do with my life?”

Sister Julie: “For me, Thomas Merton’s description of religious life was an invitation to new life” (page 59). Could you say more about this? How is religious life an invitation to new life? What did that mean for you?

Father Martin: On a practical level, it was a “new life” because it was radically different from the life I was living in the corporate world. But, on a deeper level, it was an invitation to live as my “true self,” as Merton would say, rather than the “false self” who had been trying to convince himself that the corporate world was the right place for him. And on another level, God was offering me “new” life more generally, because whenever we follow God’s call we are revitalized and enlivened and inspired.

Sister Julie: You are so right about people (myself included when I was younger) thinking that a call from God is “something of an otherworldly experience”. What can religious, vocation ministers, parents, and parish leaders do to help people sense God’s call in the ordinary “language” of every day life?

Father Martin: First of all, by helping people recognize that their deepest desires – not just their surface needs and ones – are manifestation if God’s desires planted within them In other words, your deepest desires for love, longing for a relationship, and hopes for meaningful work or a welcoming religious community, are ways God has of calling you to these very people and places. So we need to recover an understanding of the place of holy desires in our everyday lives.

Sister Julie: How did you feel called to the Jesuit way of religious life? Were you attracted by any other kinds of religious communities?

Father Martin: Well, that’s sort of an embarrassing question for me! (Or at least the answer is!) Because I spent virtually no time looking at any other religious communities. And the reason for that was my complete ignorance about the complex and variegated world of religious orders. These days, when young men come to me asking about entering the Jesuitsm I make it a point to ask them whether, as a part of their discernment, they have also explored the charismas of religious orders. But, for me, as it turns out, God was able to work even through my ignorance! I was led to the Jesuits more or less by chance–or, more precisely, Providence.

Sister Julie: How can the saints help people who are discerning a major life commitment? How about the “smaller” discernments in life?

Father Martin: Mostly by reminding us that the even the saints struggled with their decisions. They looked to the Gospels, talked to their friends, studied to the traditions of the church, and tried their best to discern what God seemed to be asking them, but in the end few were ever completely sure that they were doing the right thing. Just read any life of the saint, and you’ll see that they often struggle with decisions. That goes for the smaller discernments as well. In other words, do your best, trust that God is helping you if you have a good intention, and take the plunge!

Sister Julie: What other saints have been your friends along your journey into and within religious life? why?

Father Martin: You know, the saints have been my “best friends” are been included in My Life With The Saints. But there were a few other good friends I left out due to space considerations. If I had to write a second book it would surely include St. Isaac Jogues (for his heroic faith), St. Katherine Drexel (for her commitment to the poor) and St. Thomas Moore (for his ability to discern even in the most difficult of times. I just hope they are not too upset that I left them out!

It is a pleasure to welcome Father James Martin, SJ, to A Nun’s Life blog. Father Martin is a member of the Jesuits (the Society of Jesus), a Catholic religious community for men. He is also a fellow blogger at In All Things, an editorial blog at America magazine where he is an author and associate editor. (Read more at James Martin, SJ – Biography.)

Father Martin is here at A Nun’s Life to chat with you about the saints, becoming a saint through your everyday life, and much more. Since I often write about religious life and discerning God’s call, I’ve asked Father Martin some questions around his own vocation as well as religious life and discernment in general — click here for my initial questions for Father Martin. Those questions are just to get the ball rolling because really this conversation is for you!

Here’s how this works …

1) Ask your question(s) for Father Martin by writing a comment in the comment box below this post or any post today (all of the posts today will be part of the conversation with Father Martin).

2) Father Martin will be scanning all of these posts and comments and will respond to people’s questions. He’ll send me an email so that I can re-post the questions along with his responses in a new post. The most recent questions with responses will appear at the top of the blog. Father Martin’s responses will be in blue text.

3) If the questioner, Father Martin or anyone else would like to further a particular conversation, they can click on that post and comment there.

4) Loyola Press, the sponsor of Father Martin’s blog tour, is raffling off a free autographed copy of Father Martin’s book My Life with the Saints – you are automatically entered in this drawing when you post a comment or question for Father Martin.

5) Loyola Press is also offering a 35% off discount to A Nun’s Life visitors who wish to purchase My Life with the Saints. You can order at Loyola Press website or by calling Loyola Press toll-free at 800-621-1008. Please use the code 2679 to receive the 35% discount off the hardcover or paperback of My Life with the Saints. This offer is good through June 8, 2008.

My gratitude goes to Father Martin for joining us, to Loyola Press for sponsoring this, and to you readers and guests of A Nun’s Life for joining in!

We’ve already received some questions, so sit back, relax, and join in the conversation!

Welcome, Father Martin!

Welcome, Father Martin!

Father Martin: It’s great to be with everyone today on the second stop of my blog tour, or as I prefer to call it, my blog camino. I’ve long admired Sister Julie’s blog, and feel in good company with a younger religious. (For a Jesuit, anyone under 75 is young!) Anyway, I look forward to answering your questions about the saints, and, most of all, hearing what you all have to teach me!

I’ve just returned home after family and nun festivities and work in four different states. I had some time in Monroe, Michigan, home of my IHM Motherhouse. There’s absolutely nothing like being home with one’s nuns. Although I had some work to do, I feel renewed and encouraged. Community life is such an amazing bond — it is unlike any other relationship or way of being that I have ever experienced.

Now that I am home in Chicago, I am preparing myself for tomorrows Online Conversation with Father James Martin, SJ - rereading chapter 4 of his book My Life with the Saints. The chapter discusses part of his vocation story. Here’s a PDF of the chapter for you to read: My Life with the Saints: Chapter 4. It’s not necessary to have read it to participate in the conversation, but it may give you some ideas of stuff you’d like to ask Father Martin or talk with him about.

Here are some things I’d like to ask Father Martin about …

1) You write about Thomas Merton being asked by the Gethsemani monastery porter, “Have you come here to stay?” (page 57) When did you feel that this question was being posed to you as well? How did it feel to first get a glimpse that God might be calling you to religious life? How did you respond? What did you do with any feelings of uncertainty, fear, resistance, etc.?

2) “For me, Thomas Merton’s description of religious life was an invitation to new life” (page 59). Could you say more about this? How is religious life an invitation to new life? What did that mean for you?

3) You are so right about people (myself included when I was younger) thinking that a call from God is “something of an otherworldly experience”. What can religious, vocation ministers, parents, and parish leaders do to help people sense God’s call in the ordinary “language” of every day life?

4) How did you feel called to the Jesuit way of religious life? Were you attracted by any other kinds of religious communities?

5) How can the saints help people who are discerning a major life commitment? How about the “smaller” discernments in life?

6) What other saints have been your friends along your journey into and within religious life? why?

This conversation is for you so please ask your questions and engage with Father Martin. Feel free to pose your questions now or as we go along tomorrow. See you tomorrow morning!

Last week I gave the first installment from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God. Here’s the next installment. I always wondered if hermits feel lonely or if they miss being within a religious community of other nuns … and so I asked …

2) Are you lonely? Do you miss being in community?

No, I am not generally lonely if by that you mean the anxiety to be with people, or to be in touch, etc. I am lonely in the sense of being with God by myself most of the time.

I miss community most when I sing Office because I loved Office in choir. However, I attend daily Mass, and am supported emotionally (loved!) by my parish and local community more generally.

I am not a recluse and I do see people fairly regularly, so no, no loneliness! I do miss community life, however, so enhancing contacts with women religious and other hermits is something I want to do more of.

I really appreciated this, Sister Laurel. Even sisters who lives in community experience loneliness — for me, it is much like you said. One of my married friends spoke of this kind of loneliness too even though she is happily married to a great guy. Sometimes we can misunderstand that loneliness as a problem in our relationships, in our community, etc. but often it is a call … a call to a deeper experience of God. Karl Rahner, the great Jesuit theologian (and my MA thesis subject) wrote often of this. I have come to appreciate it as a kind of “radical loneliness” that can not be quenched but by God. It’s uncomfortable a lot of times, but even in the discomfort there is a peace because it is a sign of God’s presence with us.

UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit

Here’s a good article (minus the title) about Anne-Marie Gallagher, a 24-year old who will be professing vows as a Josephite Sister in Sydney, Australia — “A social butterfly gets herself to a nunnery.” Some quotes from the article …

ANNE-MARIE GALLAGHER was in her final year at Domremy College in Sydney’s inner west when the assistant principal suggested, “you would make a good nun”.

“I just laughed it off,” she said. “I thought of myself as a normal teenager and, like most of my peers, [at one stage] I even questioned my faith. I just thought it was normal.”

Just a brief comment here — we all have a responsibility to let others know, especially our young people, if we see a particular vocation in them. Sometimes it takes someone outside of ourselves to call us to become aware of God’s call to us. All you have to do is plant the seed. The Spirit (who has already prepared the soil) will take care of the rest.

While studying education and theology at Australian Catholic University as a 19-year-old, she came across the website for Catholic Vocations Ministry Australia. “I couldn’t believe that I was [looking] there,” she laughed. “Me, of all people. But for a while this feeling of being unsettled had niggled at me.

“I had dated some guys but something else, involving a deeper commitment to God, was demanding my attention.”

Too many times people don’t consider religious life because they think they have to be super-pious or not have any romantic feelings for another person. It’s okay to have dated, to be a social butterfly, to be a “normal” teenager … God calls whomever God chooses. It’s that simple.

Blessings to you, Sister Anne-Marie and the Josephite community!

Recently I added Sister Laurel O’Neal’s blog Notes from Stillsong Hermitage to my list of Blogs by Catholic Nuns. Sister Laurel graciously responded to some questions I had for her about what it is like to be a hermit.

1) How did you know God was calling you to become a hermit?

Although formerly involved active apostolates (hospital chaplaincy, clinical lab, religious ed, etc), chronic illness made those difficult, and in some ways my life just didn’t quite “make sense”.

I was struggling against myself so to speak. I needed to find a context which would allow ALL of my life to makes sense, not just the gifts, but the weakness and brokenness as well.

In 1983 canon 603 was published. It piqued my interest but did not capture my imagination. Afterall, weren’t hermits a dead breed and wasn’t contemplative life sort of a waste??? Shortly thereafter I read Thomas Merton’s Contemplation in a World of Action; in this book is a long defense of the eremitical life. Now THAT completely captured my imagination.

The short version is, I began living the life on a trial basis and found that everything came together with a kind of coherence it had not had before: writing, directing, prayer, illness, education, and a need to truly love others all worked together within an eremitical context. I discovered for the first time, a real sense of mission — which, as you know, is different from just a sense of purpose.

The eremitical life is one that I have always loved reading about (mostly the Desert Fathers and Mothers), but one that I have never personally experienced. I’ve never really explored what it means to be a hermit as a life choice. My thanks to Sister Laurel for her blog and for responding to my questions.

Be sure to visit Sister Laurel’s blog — she recently responded to the question How do you know you are staying on track? and shows how this applies not only to an urban hermit but to all of us who try to keep on track amidst life’s many distractions, responsibilities, etc.

And stay tuned as I post Sister Laurel’s responses to other questions!

UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community and Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit

]]> http://anunslife.org/2008/05/23/hermit-interview-called-by-god/feed/ 1 http://anunslife.org/2008/05/07/professing-vows-as-ihm-sister/ http://anunslife.org/2008/05/07/professing-vows-as-ihm-sister/#comments Thu, 08 May 2008 03:13:57 +0000 Sister Julie http://nuns2day.wordpress.com/?p=726

As promised, I took a couple little videos (I don’t have a real video camera, just the one on my digital camera) so that I could share with you some of the profession ceremony of Sister Katherine Collard, IHM.

In this video, Katherine responds to Sister Mary Fran Gilleran, IHM President, who asks Katherine to speak to her desire to become an IHM Sister.

Powerful and beautiful.

A fellow blogging nun has posted a wonderful reflection that she gave to a group of lay people about religious life. This contemplative Redemptoristine sister (Order of the Most Holy Redeemer) writes the blog Contemplative Horizon. This reflection on religious life, she writes, is meant “to bring our lay friends up to date and give them a perspective concerning the current state of religious life. It was meant to give historical context, be reassuring and also to offer a bit of a challenge.”

The reflection, “To Pray Always” – Monastic Life into the 21st Century, begins with a great quote from Mark Twain …

After the London Times published his obituary, Mark Twain quipped to a lecture audience, “The report of my death was greatly exaggerated.”

Tonight I would like to assure you that reports of the death of monasticism, indeed the death of religious life, have been greatly exaggerated. Both are alive and well, though diminished in number. Indeed, if the record of history and culture is predictive and if, as a result, artistic imagination keeps bringing monastic images to our cultural radar screen, they will never die….

Please take the time to read Sister’s reflection and begin/continue a conversation with her and her readers. Also I’d love to hear what you think too. While the article is focused on monastic life, what take-aways do we have for our own vocations?

Question from a website visitor …

I’m stepping into religious life… or at least I think I am. I was wondering – do you ever feel lonely and alone? I really hate travelling alone and I yearn for the physical presence of a man – not sexual – just the ‘being there’. Jesus is my spouse, yes, but there are times when He just isnt there – and you just want someone to lean on or to hold you or to just pick you up from the airport. I dont know if you know what I mean. Is this normal? And how can we deal with it? Or do we just accept it and learn to suffer it?

Thank you for the question, Rosemary. It’s a good one, one that I certainly wondered about when I was considering religious life. The answer has many dimensions, so I’ll just give you my thoughts (hopefully in some semblance of order) on loneliness.

Feeling lonely is something everyone feels at one time or another, nuns included. But do nuns feel it more acutely because they make a vow to be celibate, that is, nuns choose to not have 1) sex or 2) romantic or exclusive relationships? (NOTE: the vow of celibacy is actually not about the “have not’s” but about being free to love all and go where God calls us to … but that’s the subject of a future post). Because of this vow, it may seem like women who become nuns are going to be physically lonely — like you said, not necessarily in a sexual way, but just having someone physically present to you.

This is a question that I too had when I was discerning religious life. I wondered about how intimacy (not talking sexual here) could be expressed as a nun — physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy. I didn’t know if the vow of celibacy and just the general life of being a nun prohibited any kind of close connection with others. I treasured my relationships with close friends, siblings, etc. What was going to happen?

Now, I’m not exactly sure how this all worked itself out (probably by living into it and trusting God), but I do know that I came to realize that God did not desire that I be cut off from everyone, that I be isolated and therefore alone. It’s just that my primary relationships were now with my religious community, and (as it always had been) with God. My community of nuns is my family. They’ve got my back — always. And I’m there for them. I’d drop just about anything (short of someone else’s welfare) in a heartbeat for any one of my nuns. So in this sense, I am never lonely or alone.

In another sense, however, there is a kind of loneliness that I and others (not just nuns) experience. The source of such loneliness is not necessarily lack of another person, but that ultimate realization (conscious or otherwise) that only God can fulfill us. Saint Augustine wrote, “Our souls are restless, O Lord, until they rest in you.” Even with our closest relationships, we feel this radical loneliness because we long to dwell with God. Don’t mean to go existential on you here, but it’s an important understanding of loneliness. It’s what helps people not suffer loneliness, but embrace loneliness as an experience of God.

A little while back I wrote a post called, Do Nuns Know How to Love? You might check that out to for a response to your question here.

Do respond and let’s have a conversation about this. And I know others will have insight into this question too.

Don’t miss this article by Boston Globe columnist Kevin Cullen, “Quietly Doing God’s Work” (April 17, 2008). Here’s a quote from the article:

At approximately the same time the pope was standing in the White House, Sister Carmen Soto was standing in a food pantry on Monroe Street in Mount Pleasant, 3 miles north of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave….

Today’s nuns answer calls to serve differently 

Modern sisters reach out to the world around them in ways unlike their stereotype

Nancy Lofholm
The Denver Post
March 23, 2008

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo.

Sister Karen Bland is a thoroughly modern Catholic nun. Her gold Chevrolet Malibu is proof.

The well-used tennis shoes she wears in her early-morning, after-Mass visits to a health club sit on the passenger seat. An audio book, a novel about two boys of different races growing up in Southern California, is in the CD player.

And in the past hour, this diminutive, middle-aged woman, who holds five degrees including a doctorate and speaks three languages, has been making the rounds in the well-used automobile.

She has driven from the soup kitchen she administers, to the day center she oversees where the homeless can get warm and clean, to the construction site of an apartment complex she has raised funds to build for the mentally ill.

As Bland demonstrates, nuns are finding their way in today’s world in creative and sometimes surprising ways.

Today’s sisters are dwindling in number. There are only a third — 63,699 — of the sisters of a half century ago.

But many of today’s nuns are independent-minded women who have a higher profile in the church. They fill in as pastoral leaders at more than 200 parishes around the country that are short of priests. They are engineers, physicians, counselors, ecologists, computer experts, lawyers and artists.

In Colorado, they teach the homeless to plant flowers in downtown Denver. They counsel those suffering marriage woes. They help immigrants. They drive buses. They organize political movements. And they teach tai chi.

They say they do whatever God calls them to do in jobs that fit their particular skills.

They are still linked to often-distant religious communities by mutual prayer and teleconferenced meetings, but they make their own way in the world. They apply for jobs, rent apartments, juggle budgets and take on many of the same headaches of those to whom they minister.

The additions to their ranks nowadays come not from college-age girls who heard the call of a vocation. Those taking vows of poverty, chastity and obedience are more often middle-aged women who have raised families and look to a religious vocation as a second career.

“The focus is more on our individual gifts rather than on the group. The motivation comes from within. You are the one who has to make decisions,” explains Sister Sen Nguyen, a Franciscan who operates an art gallery in Denver that sells the work of disabled Vietnamese women and orphans.

Nguyen joined the convent after life-altering experiences during the Vietnam War. She was separated from her mother during the fall of Saigon in 1975. She reunited with her in Denver after 15 grueling attempts to escape Vietnam by fishing boat.

Nguyen became a teacher, but when her mother was ailing from a stroke she decided to open the Provide-N-Ce boutique in Denver to sell art that would benefit the needy in Vietnam and to leave more time to care for her mother.

“I had no money. I had nothing. I didn’t think my [religious] community would allow it. It took a leap of faith,” Nguyen says.

Her community did bless her mission, which melds art and spirituality. Many religious orders operate that way. Sisters find a mission and ask permission to pursue it. If superiors believe it fits with a nun’s gifts it is approved, leading to the array of professions for modern sisters.

This sea change has its roots in the 1960s and the Catholic Church-altering Vatican II Council when the dwindling numbers of convents were instructed by the church hierarchy to reassess their missions. Nuns were liberated just as the feminist movement was getting a grip on the secular world.

In 1965, there were about 180,000 nuns in the United States. A decade later, there were 45,000 fewer, according to figures from the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University. The average age of those remaining is now about 75.

Sister Faye Huelsmann, a Sister of St. Joseph who operates a counseling center in Grand Junction, says it was a difficult time.

“We had not had much chance to really talk to each other before that. Your superiors just told you what to do,” she says. “We had to learn how to express our own opinions.”

Huelsmann and her partner in the Counseling and Education Center, Sister Pat Lewter, have since spent 27 years in the business of talking with people. They found their mission and entered the counseling business because of their interactions with troubled students and struggling families while they were teaching high school.

Sister Caroline Conway, who had more traditional jobs of administration and teaching in her order, the Sisters of the Holy Child Jesus, does spiritual directing, which is a combination of sitting down with someone to pray, listening and making suggestions.

She is also a tai chi teacher, an Eastern form of nonviolent martial arts that fits with her belief that people should be gentle with each other and the world around them.

She is guided by demand.

“I believe that if there isn’t a need that you’re meeting, then hang it up,” she says from her sunny office.

Modern-day sisters joke that nuns are able to get so much done because they don’t retire. When they reach retirement age, if their health is still good but they are suffering burn-out in one mission, they grab the Catholic newspaper classifieds and look for another.

“I’m in the process of discerning what I’ll do next,” says Huelsmann. “I’m looking around at the signs of the times and looking at where are the needs and where will I be most useful.”

Copyright © 2008, Orlando Sentinel

Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

~ Mary Oliver in New and Selected Poems (Boston: Beacon Press) 1992

Indeed … what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Becoming a nun was and is my answer to this question! How about for you? Or are you still wondering?

(more on the Pulitzer Prize winning poet, Mary Oliver)

Religion and Ethics Newsweekly published this interview with the Dominicans of Nashville and their increase in young vocations: “Young Nuns” (February 8, 2008 — Episode no. 1123).

There are some real gems in this story especially when the sisters begin to explain their own experience of being called. I think many of us could relate!

Sister Amelia Hueller: I finished high school, I went to college in Washington, DC for four years, and I came up against relativism: the idea that we can’t — people said that we couldn’t know what was good, what was bad, what was true. So I really began questioning where truth comes from. Where does goodness come from? I know I have values. Who gives them to me? And so between that moment and here, it was a process of, “This is scary, I don’t understand this. I don’t see why I would be called. How can I be called? I am so normal.”

Sister Christiana Mickwee: For me, it wasn’t so much a voice per se but through prayer — just in the silence, just letting him be there and finding out, really asking him, “What do you want from me, God?” I mean, I really had everything I could have wanted in the world, and there wasn’t anything that I was trying to get away from.

Sister Catherine Marie Hopkins: Very rarely do people come and say, “I’ve always wanted to be a sister.” You know, I always found that very suspect. You know, usually it was, “I was going through life very happily and suddenly this strange idea came and I tried really hard to eliminate it.” In my own life, that was the case.

What is fascinating to me is that God’s call to us — to me — is always unique, yet whenever I hear another Sister’s experience, I can often resonate with them. And even though the Nashville Dominicans have a charism and lifestyle different than my own IHM charism and life, we have so much more in common because of “the call” and our commitment to serving God, the Church, and the world.

If you are wondering if you are called (and you know who you are!), consider this: whoever you are, wherever you come from, whatever you desire most — God is with you and wants you to answer with your whole self. Forget about such things as “I’m not that holy” or “I’m just a normal, average person” or “Why would God call me?” or “I like guys too much.” Check out what’s it’s like to be a nun and you just might find your heart’s desire.

It’s been a while since I wrote about the stages of formation in my series, “Decoding Formation” (see the sidebar on my blog for the previous posts). But now it is time to look at novitiate. I’m going to write this in several parts because there are a number of things I’d like to address. As in the previous stages, there is some variance across communities in terms of what exactly happens during novitiate. And know that I come from a community of active women religious, not a community of contemplative nuns. So there may be things that are particular to contemplatives that I am totally missing — contemplative nuns: please feel free to comment with your experiences!

After Candidacy/Postulancy, a person is ready for the big step of entering the novitiate. ” Novitiate” is the stage at which a person is a novice (meaning “new”) in the community. The community and the person have discerned that the fit is a good one. The “dating” is over (so to speak) and now comes the official engagement period. Just as a couple is committed to one another during an engagement, so the woman and the community are committed to one another. She is now ready to become a member of the community — not a full member for she is not yet under vows, but a novice member. As a novice she is still learning about religious life and the ways of the community, and at the same time she participates in the day to day life and mission of the community. Whereas in the previous stage the Candidate/Postulant usually supports herself and continues with her “former” life, now she is part of the community – what was once “mine” is now “ours”. During novitiate (and for the rest of her religious life), the novice receives what she needs from the community. As mentioned above, she is not yet under vows, though she lives as if she is — the vows of povery, celibacy, and obedience become not just something she knows about but something she lives.

During novitiate, a novice has a novice director – a professed sister who is responsible for the formation of the novice. The novice typically lives with the novice director and any other novices in the same convent/house. Other professed sisters may live in this community.

When a woman is preparing for novitiate, she and the congregation must be attentive to both the congregation’s Rule of Life (or Constitutions) and to Canon Law which provides guidelines and safeguards for the novitiate. I’ll develop this a bit more in my next post on novitiate: Novitiate – Canon Law.

Continuing my reflections on Saint Teresa of Avila … Finally, after all kinds of questioning, resistance, and prayer, Teresa happens to read the Epistles of Saint Jerome which must have truly edified her for she says she was filled with much courage. Courage was exactly what she needed for she knew that telling her father about her desire to enter the Carmelite monastery would be really, really tough. Teresa writes:

My father’s love for me was so great, that I could never obtain his consent; nor could the prayers of others, whom I persuaded to speak to him, be of any avail. The utmost I could get from him was that I might do as I pleased after his death. I now began to be afraid of myself, and of my own weakness—for I might go back. So, considering that such waiting was not safe for me, I obtained my end in another way, as I shall now relate. (Life 3.9)

In those days, when I was thus resolved, I had persuaded one of my brothers, by speaking to him of the vanity of the world, to become a friar; and we agreed together to set out one day very early in the morning for the monastery where that friend of mine lived for whom I had so great an affection: though I would have gone to any other monastery, if I thought I should serve God better in it, or to any one my father liked, so strong was my resolution now to become a nun—for I thought more of the salvation of my soul now, and made no account whatever of mine own ease. I remember perfectly well, and it is quite true, that the pain I felt when I left my father’s house was so great, that I do not believe the pain of dying will be greater—for it seemed to me as if every bone in my body were wrenched asunder; for, as I had no love of God to destroy my love of father and of kindred, this latter love came upon me with a violence so great that, if our Lord had not been my keeper, my own resolution to go on would have failed me. But He gave me courage to fight against myself, so that I executed my purpose. (Footnote:  The nuns sent word to the father of his child’s escape, and of her desire to become a nun, but without any expectation of obtaining his consent. He came to the monastery forthwith, and “offered up his Isaac on Mount Carmel” (Reforma, lib. i. ch. viii. § 5). (Life 4.1)

Teresa was determined to remain true to this call from God even though she was painfully aware of her father’s feelings on the matter. She knew herself well enough to know that if she didn’t pursue God’s call now, she just might let it fade away from her. As she writes, “waiting was not safe for me.”I’ve met other religious who have had similar experiences in that their family just couldn’t bear to be separated from them. In Teresa’s time, this separation was very clear as she was entering a monastery that observed enclosure. Certainly she would not be able to interact with her family as she had in the past. That is probably true for most religious, especially those who observe enclosure. It’s as if all our relationships are reordered … not cut off, but changed. It’s not unlike when someone gets married or has a baby. Your relationship with them naturally changes and shifts around a bit. Somehow we learn to give one another the space to grow and change while at the same time hanging on to that core of a relationship (love). With religious life, things are a little different, a little more mysterious perhaps because it’s not a choice that is widely made or understood especially in our society today. Understandably family and friends might have apprehensions. But it can be tough to explain how you feel when you’re still in the process of figuring it out yourself, let alone articulating to anyone!Thoughts, reflections, questions?

Continuing my reflections on Saint Teresa of Avila …Teresa was in the convent school with the Augustinian Nuns (see previous post) for about a year and a half. She says that although she grew closer to God, “I still had no desire to be a nun, and I asked God not to give me this vocation” (Life 3.2). But, she notes,

“By the end of this period of time in which I stayed there I was more favorable to the thought of being a nun, although not in that house, for there were things I was afterward to understand were most virtuous that seemed to me to be too extreme…. These good thoughts about being a nun sometimes came to me, and then would go away; and I could not be persuaded to be one.” (Life 3.2)

I love Teresa’s honesty here. I think many people struggle with their vocation (not just to religious life). For some, they know clearly what they are meant to do; but for others like Teresa (and myself), it’s not immediately clear. We have to test it, wrestle with it, ponder it, and ultimately live into it. No one way of discerning is better than another. Somehow or another we end up where God is calling us, though it may be a matter of moments or years. It is so important to hang in there and to continuing to pray and to serve others.Flash of light or cloud of unknowing? — which image fits your experience of finding your vocation? Or what other image fits for you?

Here’s a recent story about Sister Carrie Flood, IHM, a young woman who professed vows with the IHM Sisters of Scanton, Pennsylvania, on July 27. (Click here to see how the Scranton IHMs are related to my IHMs.) Be sure to follow the link below to the article to read about Carrie’s journey to religious life. And here are a few quotes from the article with Carrie’s reflections on religious life.

Congratulations, Carrie!

Nun at 41: A sister’s journey led her to service
by Lawn Griffiths
September 21, 2007
East Valley Tribune (Phoenix)

Many people look at Catholic religious life, as priests or nuns, “in terms of what you can’t do,” such as not being able to marry or have children or being financially prosperous, she said. Instead, “we learn about the vows in terms of what you are invited to do,” Flood said. “The vow of chastity invites us to try to love everyone equally, meaning it is not so much not having children because we are actually called by our vow of chastity to love all of God’s creation, to love all people. Our vow of obedience just calls us to listen to the voice of God and the movement of the Spirit in our lives.”

Only one other woman went through the training and took the vows with Flood.

That there aren’t more women entering religious life isn’t necessarily discouraging, she said. “I wasn’t around” in the years when as many as 50 or 60 women would enter convents for training, “so I don’t have any sense of loss.”

“I think there are a lot of misconceptions that you have to be a special person,” Flood said. “I am not very special. I listen to rock music and watch ‘The Simpsons,’ and I am just a normal person. God has called me to be his presence in the world and to be a witness to the kingdom, so that is what I am here to do, and I hope I can fulfill that.” …

“We call out jobs ‘ministries,’ ” she said. Days include going to Mass each morning and gathering in the evening at St. Ephrem’s Convent in Brooklyn with 11 other sisters for dinner and prayer. Nuns in her house dress simply, and only older ones wear veils. …

A friend recently asked me if I know of a community for men that will accept people with mental illnesses that are managed? I personally do not know but thought that the “wisdom of the crowd” could help us out. Please respond with your suggestions. Many thanks!

I’ve touched only a little bit on the subject of religious life and persons wishing to join a community who have a managed mental illness. (See Can You Become a Nun if you have a Chronic Illness?, When a Sister is sick or dying …, and Chronic Illness and Becoming a Nun REVISITED.) As you can tell from my previous posts, it’s not a clear-cut issue. My general sense is that communities discern with candidates on a person-by-person basis. There is no absolute rule that says if you have x, y, or z illness you cannot become a religious. A lot has to do with how well the individual is living with it and to what extent the community has the ability/support systems/understanding to support the person. These considerations all takes place within the mode of discernment, of prayerfully and expectantly seeking God’s Word to oneself and also to the community.

While there may be some communities who are more open to discerning with persons with managed mental illness, all communities must be open to where God is calling them and to help persons discern their calling. I’ve seen wonderful generosity of spirit by religious communities who have discerned with a person even when it was clear that the person did not have a religious vocation with that community. These communities have used their wisdom and discernment expertise to help these persons come to a true sense of who they are and where God is calling them — in some cases that has been to marriage, missionary work as a lay person, college, or another community.

I look forward to your suggestions regarding men’s communities. Again, thank you in advance.

I have received a number of emails and comments from women over 40 who want to become a sister but find that the usual cut-off age is around 40. I know that there are religious communities such as my own IHM community that do accept women over 40 on a person-by-person basis. I’d like to put together a list of these communities so that women over 40 have the opportunity to get to know these communities and truly explore the possibility of a religious vocation.

Please comment on this post or send me an email with the names of communities (including location) that you know of who accept women over 40.

Also, on the Vision Vocation Network Web site, there is a Vocation Match feature that asks, among other things, your age range. At the end of the questions is a list of your match results. This might be a resource for women over 40 (and anyone discerning a vocation) to check out.

In the process of catching up on blogging and blogging buddies, I read this post on Sister Susan Rose’s blog Musings of a Discerning Woman.

Vision Magazine is a vocation magazine that is filled with all sorts of helpful and insightful info on religious life, discernment, prayer, and religious communities.

The 2008 Vision magazine has the article “Give us this day our daily blog” on page 80. which features Susan Rose’s blog as well as this little blog here and other blogs.

The Web site that publishes the Vision magazine is the VISION Vocation Network. It is one of the most comprehensive Catholic religious vocation Web site featuring many articles and tools to help in the discernment process. I highly recommend the Web site and the magazine. Way back when, I had a copy of Vision magazine that was my companion in the early days of discerning. It gave me a glimpse of the range and variety of religious communities and perspectives on religious life. I did have to put the magazine down for a few weeks after I did the religious life quiz because the results were positive for a religious vocation. It kind of freaked me out at the time because I was so sure religious life was not for me. Once I calmed down, I realized that it wasn’t so much the quiz itself but my reaction to the quiz that held some key information about where God was calling me. God uses all things to call us to Godself. Amazing.

So, check out Sister Susan Rose’s post “Vision Magazine: Vocation Blogs” and VISION Vocation Network.

I am always delighted to visit with Sister Susan Rose (albeit virtually) of the blog Musings of a Discerning Woman and this morning was no exception. On July 18 Susan Rose posted a nun quiz, taken from the 20 year old humor book, The Nun Book by Tom Carey.

I encourage you to check out her blog and, of course, to take the quiz. The quiz is good for a laugh. You’ll be happy to know that I just barely make it for having a vocation with a whopping 18 for my quiz score. I think it was the Mohawk with streaks of purple, green and pink that brought my score down. Susan Rose, my holy friend, has a DEFINITE vocation with a score of 26. And because she is such a good nun, she has a couple great links at the end of her post for folks who are looking for discernment and vocation resources.

Thanks, Susan Rose, for making my day!

Here’s a great article on young women in religious life (note: I added hyperlinks). Would love to hear your comments.

Sisters savor a shared religious life
By Rich Barlow | July 7, 2007

Dressed casually for summer, name tags dangling from their necks, the conferees at Emmanuel College last weekend were all women who identified themselves as members of Catholic orders. Almost 100 strong, they spent four days contemplating their future

As with any professional gathering, networking was very much on the agenda of the conference, organized by Giving Voice, a Massachusetts- based group that publishes a newsletter and promotes communication among women’s religious orders.

The nuns, most of them under 50, gathered to share takes on questions framed in an interview by Sister Annette McDermott of Springfield: “Who are we today as women religious, and where do we want to go?”

For younger nuns, reared in the post-Second Vatican Council church, that question cannot be answered with soft-focus images of Ingrid Bergman in habit from “The Bells of St. Mary’s.”

Catholics at last weekend’s Mass heard Luke’s Gospel story of Jesus inviting people to follow him, even if it meant leaving family without goodbyes or abandoning the task of burying a dead father.

While modern religious life doesn’t require quite those sacrifices, the 30- and 40-something nuns said that heeding the call is very different for them than it was for earlier generations. The declining number of women entering religious orders means that novitiates are more solitary enterprises than a half-century ago.

“Before, there were groups of 20 or 30 coming in, classes, you know, of novices,” said Sister Maria-Carolina Pardo, a 37-year-old human rights activist who works in Colombia.

Today, by contrast, “most of us have entered singly, alone,” she said. “We don’t have peers.”

Gatherings like the one at Emmanuel provide an opportunity they don’t have otherwise, “to relate with one another and have [each other] as classmates, as friends, as people to bounce things off, to resonate with, to discuss.”

Sister Marianne Comfort, 45, who took her initial vows last year, said that baby boomers like herself entered the religious life because of the opportunity to live in community with other spiritually minded women.

Women from older Catholic generations, however, became nuns often because they had seen religiouis sisters as role models, in jobs such as teacher or nurse.

“I’ve heard a lot of my older sisters talk about [how], when they entered, the choice was religious life or be a wife,” Comfort said.

For all the debates roiling Catholicism, the conference didn’t tarry over issues that laypeople might expect to have come up.

The nun shortage, for example, has closed convents and inspired some innovative marketing around the country. National Public Radio recently profiled a Detroit convent that recruits online.

Yet nuns at Emmanuel said they didn’t discuss the shortage, in part because they have been able to pursue their ministries by teaming with lay Catholics instead of other nuns.

“Women religious are partnering more effectively with the people of God,” explained Patricia Shea, 41, who is preparing to take her vows this fall and will be a pastoral associate at a Lynn parish.

“I think it’s helpful if we take the long view,” Shea said. “Certainly during the ’50s and ’60s, we saw huge numbers of women religious.”

But that was an anomaly she argued. For many centuries after Christianity’s founding, those taking up the religious life were few. “So maybe now, we’re returning to the longer pattern,” Shea said.

If fretting about too few nuns wasn’t on the agenda, neither was discussion of the church’s withholding ordination and leadership roles from women.

“Those issues are important, and other meetings address those issues,” said McDermott, who is studying for a doctorate in political science at Boston College. “But here I feel we were concentrating on what we can do.”

What these women felt they could accomplish was more internal, bolstering each other’s spirits and commitment by sharing their own.

“My passion for life and for spirituality and connectedness and relationship . . . roots me in my call toward religious life,” said Sister Katy LaFond, a Milwaukee elementary school principal who is, at 27, the youngest American nun in her order, the School Sisters of St. Francis. “And being with other women who have that same passion — it ignites. That’s at the core of who I am.”

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© Copyright 2007 Globe Newspaper Company.

Below is an article from ZENIT on the lay vocation. Too often not much is said about lay vocations. Some even equate “vocation” only with religious or ordained life. The truth is, however, we all have a vocation. I recently read this piece and wanted to share it with you.

Lay Vocation Is Irreplaceable, Says Archbishop

President of Laity Council Speaks of Important Role

ROME, JULY 2, 2007 (Zenit.org).- The laity are on the front lines and irreplaceable in the work of evangelization, said Archbishop Stanislaw Rylko.

The president of the Pontifical Council for the Laity made this statement Saturday during a Mass at the Basilica of St. John Lateran for the participants of a five-day lay ministries meeting organized by the Lay Center at Foyer Unitas in Rome, and the U.S. episcopal conference.

The conference was titled “Co-workers in the Vineyard of the Lord: Laity in the Church Yesterday and Today.”

Quoting theologian Hans Urs Von Balthasar, Archbishop Rylko said: “To be a lay Christian in the Church is precisely a vocation, in fact, it is the most important calling.

“The uniqueness of the lay vocation consists in the fact of being a Christian while living immersed in the world.”

“This vocation is derived from the sacrament of baptism,” the 61-year-old prelate explained in his homily.

Archbishop Rylko stated: “The laity have their particular responsibility for the life of the Christian community in the local Church. It is an essential, great and beautiful vocation!”

He added, however, that “to be a lay Christian in the world today is not easy.”

“The world tries to contain God exclusively in the private sphere of the individual,” the archbishop continued, while “the appropriate autonomy of the secular order is often confused with a militant secularism that seeks to eliminate God from public life.”

“To be a lay Christian in our times requires courage,” the archbishop said, continuing, “because of this, it is extremely important to not forget that being Christian is a vocation: God himself calls us and sends us into the world.”

Archbishop Rylko affirmed that a lay “vocation is a gratuitous gift of God, who selects us and calls us without our meriting it.”

In response to my post Can You Become a Nun if you have a Chronic Illness? I received an email from Sr. M. Zita Wenker, OSB, a Benedictine sister who is a member of the Benedictines of Jesus Crucified, Monastery of the Glorious Cross in Connecticut. I asked her permission to post it on my blog because it is such a direct, honest response to considerations involved in accepting people with a chronic illness. It brings a new light to this complex and important issue.

1. As vocation director, it’s important for me to know exactly what the chronic illness/condition is, that someone has who is considering religious/monastic life. There are some illnesses that could be integrated into community living rather easily–someone with a heart condition, for instance, knows what her limitations are, and as long as she gets adequate rest, takes her meds, and exercises common sense in what she does, it could be very workable. Of course, this assumes that the community is willing to take her condition into consideration, and would not ask some work she couldn’t do. On the other hand, I’ve seen women with such severe allergies that they spend most of the day preparing their own special diet, or staying out of any place with dust, mold, mildew, etc. This kind of condition would be next to impossible to integrate, at least into any community I know of.

As far as I know, there’s no community that will accept women with mental illness of any kind, or those with the likelihood (from family history) of developing it in the future. Any candidate has to be well-balanced psychologically and emotionally. (God help us all! We joke that if we were applying today, we wouldn’t be accepted!!!)

Back to chronic illness–a few women with fibromyalgia and/or chronic fatigue syndrome, seem able to manage it well. Nevertheless, I suspect it would be rather hard in community, where everyone is expected to pull her own weight. Again, it would depend on what the community is willing to do—to what degree it can stretch. In my experience, we’ve had to say no to women with cerebral palsy. Some are so afflicted with it that normal conversation isn’t possible. Others have much milder cases, and may perhaps be integrated, but still–in our experience we’ve had instances of psychological problems surfacing years after entering, in some women who have CP. To what extent it’s due to the CP itself, I’m not competent to say. We also refuse women with multiple sclerosis, or other neurological conditions that would get progressively worse. Whether a community could handle the repercussions of accepting such women would depend on the various communities–we are small, and can only handle so much. A larger group might be able to do it.

2. My community is one that is open to women with certain physical limitations: blindness, deafness (although this is a challenge for the person and the community), polio and its after-effects, arrested TB, heart problems, diabetes—these are some of the conditions our members have. We are the Benedictines of Jesus Crucified, Monastery of the Glorious Cross, 61 Burban Drive, Branford, CT 06405. We are a monastic community, with no outside ministry.

An apostolic community that accepts women with disabilities is the Sisters of the Lamb of God, in Owensboro, Kentucky.

The Visitation Monasteries may be open to some women with chronic illnesses, depending on what they are. The various monasteries probably have varying criteria, so anyone interested would have to try one by one.

A group that is not a religious community, but is a “pious union,” is the Franciscan Missionaries of Jesus Crucified. They welcome women (and men, for that matter) with chronic illnesses.

My community offers the possibility of becoming Oblates to those who are interested in living according to our spirituality, but in their own homes, marriages, jobs, families, etc. Some of our Oblates are physically handicapped and many are not. It’s not a factor, as long as they want what we have, and understand what becoming an Oblate entails. A lot of communities have Oblates, third orders, associates, affiliates, etc. These can sometimes be a route for women who might not be able to be fully accepted into a community.

I hope this is some help. Please visit our web site at www.benedictinesjc.org.
Sr. M. Zita Wenker, OSB

In her email to me, Sister added that the following:

Some apostolic communities are beginning to be more open to women with certain chronic conditions, although of course they have to be careful too. Sometimes not being able to do everything that is expected of all members can eat away at a person’s self-esteem and self-worth.

If you have any questions for Sister M. Zita, please let me know and I’ll forward them to her or feel free to write to her at the snail mail address given above.

A while back I began a “series” called Decoding Formation.

• Decoding Formation: a basic introduction
• Decoding Formation: who me??
• Decoding Formation: Initial Inquiry
• Decoding Formation: Aspirancy/Pre-Candidacy

Here’s the next segment of the series. As mentioned in a basic introduction, each religious community may have its own particular nuances to the formation process, however, the basis for the formation process is discernment and the pattern for formation is similar.

Wow! So now’s the time that a person has been accepted into the religious community’s Postulancy or Candidacy. The Postulant or Candidate is not under vows but she has made a more formal commitment to enter into the mission and life of the congregation. From the various women and communities I have known, it seems as if there are many different approaches to this period of formation so be sure to check out particular communities for what they envision for this time. If you’ve experienced Postulancy/Candidacy and had a different experience, please share with us (especially those who are cloistered … my experiences comes out of being a member of a non-cloistered community).

Beginning Candidacy is a big step in the woman’s life and in the life of the community for it signals a formal commitment to one another, not just a casual relationship with no strings attached. True, a Candidate may choose to leave at any time or be asked to leave, but basically there is a mutual desire to know one another more deeply and to share one’s life.

At the heart of Candidacy is the deepening of one’s life of prayer and integrating this life with the community. The Candidate may live with the community itself or in a house of formation. This house of formation might include others in formation for that community as well as the formation director. Or the house of formation might be a local community which is willing to continue their regular ministries but also place the formation of the Candidate as a priority in their community life. In any case, the Candidate prays with the community, lives with the community, and enters into their life of mission. In some cases she may continue working or studying as she was prior to becoming a Candidate. In other cases, she may leave all that and begin a specific program that the community has in place.

During this time a Candidate will be engaged in studies around religious life, theology, scripture, personal growth, and the charism and history of the congregation. She may do this in a variety of ways: taking a college course, joining other people in formation from a variety of communities to learn about religious life, joining with others in formation in the same community to learn about that particular community. While learning about the community is something all Candidates do, the other studies really depend on where one is in one’s life. For example, if you already have a degree in theology, you might spend this time focused on a particular or related area.

One of the things I found most helpful during this time was the opportunity to get to know our IHM sisters who were retired and living at our Motherhouse. These are women who have lived The Life, some for 75 years and counting! Not only could they talk to me about the history of the congregation as they lived it, but they shared their experiences of walking with God, of prayer, of mission and service. These women had the kind of wisdom and hospitality that made you feel holier just being in their presence. I’m sure that part of my formation and coming to understand myself as a religious came through osmosis, through just being with these women. To this day, our IHM Motherhouse is truly HOME to me and the women there continue to inspire me, challenge me, and call me to be my best self.

And of course, during this period of formation, discernment continues. The Candidate continue to reflect on and pray about what God is calling her to. She pays attention to how she is growing personally, and to whether or not this life “fits” with her. She continually brings her experiences to prayer. She meets regularly with the Sister who is the formation director or Candidacy director. She also meets regularly with a spiritual director (usually someone outside of the community, though in some cases a member of the community). The Candidate is also beginning to integrate her life with that of the community in the sense that her family and friends are getting to know the community as well. On the community’s part, they are also sharing their lives with the Candidate, allowing her to get to know them personally and begin forging relationships.

There’s so much more I could say but as I read back over this, it is somewhat of a jumbled mess. Candidacy is such a fluid time that it’s tough to nail these things down and be more specific or systematic. Perhaps the best thing to do is to direct you to what congregations themselves say about this time period. Here are a few:

Scanton IHMs
Sisters of Saint Francis of Perpetual Adoration
Sisters of Providence
Daughters of Saint Paul
Saint Benedict Monastery

Next installment: Decoding Formation: Novitiate – Overview