Much can be said (and written) about seeking God’s blessings and seeking God’s ways. Countless questions about God and directed to God have been uttered — what is the meaning in life, my life? how can I give my life to God? what is God like? where is God? does God hear me, notice me?

Sometimes, when pursuing one of these Big Questions, we stumble upon blessings that we did not intentionally seek. For example, way back when, I spent time discerning how God was calling me to use my gifts in the world as a Catholic sister. I was happily committed in my life as a sister but was still trying to find my place in the world in regards to form or context of ministry. Through prayer, conversations with my sisters, retreat, and simply trying new things, I began moving toward a kind of “answer” to what I was seeking. In the midst of all that discernment, that “figuring out” where God was leading me, there were some unexpected blessings.

Like blogging.

I started a simple little blog more as a hobby and to learn more about Internet technologies. I had no expectations for the blog other than it would help me learn a few tricks. I certainly did not expect that I would be working full-time with the A Nun’s Life website and community some 3+ years later! The blog was one of those blessings I stumbled upon while I was trying to pursue this other question of what work I wanted to commit myself to as an IHM Sister. It seemed irrelevant at the time, a mere distraction, yet it was and continues to be a great blessing that has taken me, and my original question, to a new place.

What “blessing stumbled upon” have you had in life? In what ways is God calling you to not necessarily answer your original question but simply to live out of the new place in which you find yourself?

Footnote: Thoughts today inspired by Teresa of Avila (p. 62) and my nun Sister Maryfran Barber, IHM.

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Join Sister Maxine, the A Nun’s Life community, and me for Praying with the Sisters podcast at 6 p.m. Central Time tonight (your time zone).

Picture this: you’re going through a difficult time, you’ve got a lot on your mind, you just can’t seem to make sense of stuff. Then someone says it, that dreadful line: “Offer it up.”

If you are like me (admittedly, not my most admirable quality) you have to suppress an overwhelming desire to take a swing at the person.

To me, “offer it up” is not exactly the most compassionate thing a person can say when another is in a tough space. In fact, sometimes it rings of a kind of dismissal, an unwillingness to be with a person in their struggle, even if only in silent vigil.

Though not fond of this line, I found it was exactly the one that came to mind this morning as I read Saint Teresa of Avila. As mentioned before, I’m re-reading The Life as translated by Mirabai Starr in Teresa of Avila: The Book of My Life and am at a significant moment in Teresa’s life where she has a conversion. Teresa writes about how difficult prayer has been for her. “By now, my poor soul had grown weary. But no matter how much she wished she could rest, the bad habits I had developed would not let her” (p. 58). Teresa speaks of losing trust in herself, of being unable to imagine Christ in prayer, of having distracting thoughts that would torment her, of being plagued with doubts. “I slid back so many times that I was exhausted” (p. 59).

Teresa was indeed in a tough space. So what did she do?

She offered it up.

In this tough space Teresa gave to God all that she had — not successes or insights or any kind of “worthiness” — but the only things she felt she had left: her fears, her doubts, her temptations, her “deep soul-weariness”.

To God she offered them.

There is real wisdom in Teresa’s experience. Sometimes we feel like we don’t have a whole heck of a lot going for ourselves. We struggle, we deal with pain, we despair, we worry, we just don’t feel like engaging anymore. God does not ask us to give that which we don’t have. In these times, God doesn’t expect us to offer perfectly manicured prayers, devout thoughts, or deeds of righteousness. What God asks us for is who we are and what we do have. We can offer to God as a gift our pain, despair, worry, and struggle. Doing so is not abnegating responsibility or expecting that it will all magically go away. Rather, offering these our gifts is an opportunity to open the door to God, to God’s love and deep compassion. It is a chance to move beyond the impasse we experience in our life and become ourselves more fully.

“O God, help me! How a soul suffers when she loses the freedom to be who she truly is. What torment she endures. I am amazed to see that I survived such pain. Praise be to God, who gave me life when I was on the brink of such a deadly death.”

What comes to mind as you hear the words “offer it up” and as you hear Teresa’s experience? What’s the hardest part of “offering it up”? What’s happened for you when you’ve tried to offer up your own tough situations?

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Join us this evening for Praying with the Sisters podcast — 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) at http://anunslife.org/live. We’ll have a special reading in celebration of our IHM Founders Day.

I have a great fondness for the written word and treasure well-written books. I’m back reading Teresa of Avila’s The Book of My Life. One can never experience Teresa’s writing too many times. It has a formative character which, to be biblical, is written over and over again on one’s soul, creating a well-worn path to God.

Teresa of course is a great teacher and wisdom figure on prayer, and one of the reasons she is so wise on matters of prayer is because she had such a difficult time with it during various periods of her life. Early in the book Teresa notes how certain forms of prayer did absolutely nothing for her.

“I would think about a scene in his life and then try to picture it with my mind’s eye. But … my imagination was so clumsy that no matter how hard I tried to meditate on the Lord’s humanity, I could never quite succeed.” (p 21)

When this happens, the temptation is to think then that one can’t pray or doesn’t know how to pray. But Teresa came to a different conclusion. She tried something different — in fact, she tried something that she was quite fond of: books! In the midst of describing her struggles with praying using the imagination and mental prayer, Teresa writes, “But what I liked best was to read good books.” She goes on to say how reading good books (not just any books) helped her to keep her on track and not spin out of control in prayer or end up discouraged. Such books, writes Teresa, can be an aid in prayer and can anchor us when our prayer is difficult or arid.

“During all that time [of not being able to meditate], I never dared to sit down to pray unless I had a book close at hand…. Books were my companions, my consolation, my shield against the explosion of thoughts. If I didn’t have a book, I would suffer from terrible aridity. The minute I found myself without something to read, my soul would become immediately agitated and my mind would start to wander. But as soon as I started reading, the words acted like bait to lure my soul and my thoughts began to collect themselves again. Sometimes it was enough just to know that I had a book beside me; I didn’t even have to open it. Sometimes I read just a little, sometimes a lot, depending on the mercy of God.” (p 22)

Good books are for Teresa, as they are for me, wonderful spiritual companions. I think you know what one of my favorites to take to prayer is! What about for you? What book is your spiritual companion and why? If not a book, what is your spiritual companion in the sense of what Teresa is saying here?

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Praying with the Sisters podcast is in experimentation mode! We’re trying out an evening time slot and a slightly new format. Join us today at 6 p.m. Central Time (time zone converter). Join us at at http://anunslife.org/live.

Happy Feast of Saint Teresa of Avila! I went to bed last night all giddy because of today’s feast. It honestly felt like Christmas Eve morning! I don’t exactly know why I have been feeling so excited about this feast day. As you know, Teresa of Avila is near and dear to my heart. She is one of the few saints that I feel so present to me. And it’s not just Teresa herself. It’s everything she stands for, the way she lived her life, and encouraged her sisters and everyone to seek God through both the contemplative moments of life and the active moments of life.

So I guess for me to celebrate her feast day is also a celebration of my relationship with her and my relationship with God! It’s not a bad way to spend a day!

As part of this day, I invite you to join Sister Maxine and I as we welcome another of Teresa of Avila’s friends, Mirabai Starr. Mirabai will be joining us for a live podcast today at 7:00 p.m. Central Time (time zone converter). Mirabai has spent long hours with Teresa, reading her and getting to know her as she worked on translating The Book of My Life and The Interior Castle. I can’t wait to talk with her about Teresa. More info in yesterday’s blog post. Also visit Mirabai’s website at http://www.mirabaistarr.com/.

This podcast is free and easy to access. All you need to do is visit http://anunslife.org/live any time from about 6:45 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. We’ll start officially at 7:00 p.m. Central Time (time zone converter). Follow the instructions at http://anunslife.org/live. Throughout the podcast we’ll take your comments and questions via the chat room. Use the chat room also to connect with other listeners and with us!

If you want to do a test run, join Sister Maxine and me for prayer at 12 noon Central Time. We pray the reading of the day and take your prayer requests every Monday through Thursday.

Blessings and happy Feast!

Post-show Update: Here’s the recording of the podcast:

A Nun’s Life is hosting a live podcast on Saint Teresa of Avila tomorrow evening — Thursday, October 15, at 7 p.m. Central Time (time zone converter). Sister Maxine and I are delighted to announce that we will be joined by Mirabai Starr, author of a fresh translation of Saint Teresa’s writings, Teresa of Avila: The Book of My Life and The Interior Castle.

Mirabai is a writer, translator, speaker, and teacher. She has also translated Dark Night of the Soul by Saint John of the Cross. You can learn more about Mirabai and her work at her website.

We’ll talk with Mirabai and with our listeners about who Saint Teresa is, her writings, her thoughts on prayer, and who she is for us today. Since this will be a live broadcast, we can take your questions and comments throughout the show. Join us and invite your friends!

Celebrate the Feast of Saint Teresa of Avila
Visit aNunsLife.org/live
October 15
7-8 p.m. Central Time

Information on how to listen to the podcast and how to participate can be found at aNunsLife.org/live. If you have any questions about logistics, please let me know.

To get us started, let us know what questions you’d like us to address. What would you like to know about Teresa or her writings?