vows

Happy feast day! Today is a major feast day for us IHMs. It is the feast of the Immaculate Conception. This feast celebrates the conception of Mary (Jesus’ conception is celebrated on the feast of the Annunciation) who was born “immaculate”, that is, without sin so that she could be a pure vessel of the holy.

Though this feast day is cause for great celebration, today it is with a mixture of joy and sorrow that I celebrate with my sisters. Today was the funeral of one of my dear sister’s mom. Virginia was a wonderful woman, a loving wife and mother. I am a better person for having known her.

Though the circumstances were tough, it was so good to be with my IHM sisters, many of whom I see only once or twice a year. Though we don’t say these words in our vows, “for better or for worse” definitely describes how we are with one another. Life is real and we hang in there with one another no matter how tough it gets. And we IHMs weren’t the only nuns to come to support our sister and her family. Many sisters from a variety of religious communities came out to mourn and to remember and to celebrate her mom’s life. I am in awe at the sisterhood that exists not only among sisters of the same community but of all sisters. It’s like we are all cousins to one another and share a bond together that is as thick as blood.

On this feast day, please say a prayer for Virginia and her family. And my prayer for you and for me is that we–like Mary and Virginia–be vessels of the holy.

According to the footnotes in Saint Teresa of Avila’s The Life, Teresa entered the Monastery of the Incarnation November 2, 1533, and made her profession November 3, 1534. Though scholars disagree about these dates,  Teresa undoubtedly entered the monastery and professed vows as a Carmelite nun.

When I took the habit, our Lord at once made me understand how He helps those who do violence to themselves in order to serve Him.  [Teresa seems to be referring to the terrible pain at entering the convent without her father’s consent. See previous post.] No one observed this violence in me; they saw nothing but the greatest good will. At that moment, because I was entering on that state, I was filled with a joy so great, that it has never failed me to this day; and God converted the aridity of my soul into the greatest tenderness. Everything in religion was a delight unto me; and it is true that now and then I used to sweep the house during those hours of the day which I had formerly spent on my amusements and my dress; and, calling to mind that I was delivered from such follies, I was filled with a new joy that surprised me, nor could I understand whence it came.Whenever I remember this, there is nothing in the world, however hard it may be, that, if it were proposed to me, I would not undertake without any hesitation whatever; for I know now, by experience in many things, that if from the first I resolutely persevere in my purpose, even in this life His Majesty rewards it in a way which he only understands who has tried it. When the act is done for God only, it is His will before we begin it that the soul, in order to the increase of its merits, should be afraid; and the greater the fear, if we do but succeed, the greater the reward, and the sweetness thence afterwards resulting. I know this by experience, as I have just said, in many serious affairs; and so, if I were a person who had to advise anybody, I would never counsel any one, to whom good inspirations from time to time may come, to resist them through fear of the difficulty of carrying them into effect; for if a person lives detached for the love of God only, that is no reason for being afraid of failure, for He is omnipotent. May He be blessed for ever! Amen. (Life 4.2-3)

When I professed final vows, I did not expect to feel any different than I had because I’d been with the community for approximately 10 years already. I’d taken my first (”temporary”) vows 3 years earlier and figured that I’d already had the “vow experience”. I was looking forward to it and knew it’d be great, I just thought that it would be a confirmation of everything that had already happened.But surprisingly, the experience of professing final vows was different than anything else I had ever experienced. I felt ontologically (in my very being) changed, like my DNA was uncoded and re-coded with IHM. I felt like a new person, different, yet more myself than ever. The way I saw my sisters and my place in the community shifted too. This is one of those things that again is difficult to express but unmistakeable nonetheless.With Teresa I can say, “I was filled with a new joy that surprised me, nor could I understand whence it came. Whenever I remember this, there is nothing in the world, however hard it may be, that, if it were proposed to me, I would not undertake without any hesitation whatever.” Blessed be God forever!