We have a special edition of today’s Nun News Roundup podcast at http://anunslife.org/live. The whole show is devote to YOUR questions about nuns, God, faith, prayer, and religious life.

Visit ANunsLife.org/live
Today
12 p.m. Central Time / UTC-5

We’ve got a number of questions already, for example:

• What do Catholic nuns have to give up to become a nun, other then marriage or sex? Do nuns give up jewelry and music and many things like that?
• Is true forgiveness “unconditional”? Should our forgiveness of someone require the offender to be “worthy”?
• Why it is so hard to have enough courage to follow your heart?

We’ll take your questions and comments throughout today’s show. You can share them in the comment box below or join us for the live podcast today! It’s easy to listen to the podcast. Visit the link above for info. Don’t miss this show!

Post-show update: Here’s a recording of today’s podcast:

Listen to other Ask Sister podcasts.

Question from Therese …

Dear Sister Julie, First of all, congratulations on a beautiful website, and thank you for the chance to ask a question of a real live nun!

I’m in a “helping profession,” and find that often times doing a good job–or even a great job, isn’t enough. The expectation is for us to be “perfect.” This means satisfying people with a broad range of expectations, some of which I’m not always aware of.

Relatedly, I find that my own flaws (many of which I’m not aware of) come to the surface to surprise me (smack me in the face, more like).

I know that I’m “technically” doing a good job. The question is do you have to deal with the expectation (when encountering laypeople) that a nun must be “perfect,” despite the fact that we all are also human and make mistakes? How do you cope when someone you are trying to serve is disappointed in you because you don’t meet their notion of the “ideal”? (Sorry if this is a strange question)

Dear Therese, Thank you for writing! I’m glad you stopped by. Let me first reassure you that you are not alone in terms of what you are feeling. I think many in helping professions experience what you described so well. Needs rarely come packaged in neat, discreet boxes. They are often jumbled together and come spilling out when we encounter someone who is there to help. A visit to a physical therapist for an ankle injury, for example, might cause one’s deep hurt at not being able to run to surface in unexpected ways. Sometimes it’s clear what’s happening, other times, not so much.

In answer to your question, yes, I do have to deal with the expectation that a nun must be “perfect” — and interestingly it’s not just from lay people but from anyone, including myself! A Catholic sister or nun is often expected to be perfect in charity, holiness, virtue, and prayer. We are expected to always be perfectly present to others at all times, whether we are at our “day job” or standing in line at the grocery store. I have had the experience of going to the doctor for my own checkup and end up listening to his personal concerns and spiritual questions! But, even in the grocery line or at the doctor’s office, I’m still a nun. I’m not “off duty” because being a nun pervades all that I am, 24/7. I don’t stop being a nun when 5 p.m. hits, just like my sister is never not a Mom.

Honestly, I don’t always cope well but I am learning. An important first step is for me to know that I don’t have all the answers — and to be okay with that. When I bump into someone who expects me to be perfect, I try to acknowledge my own personal feelings (Hello?? You’re the doctor here. You’re supposed to listen to my aches and pains!) and also to move beyond them to a place of genuine compassion. Sometimes that means spending a little time with someone around their concerns. Or sometimes that means graciously refocusing them on the needs I can help them with or redirecting them to others who can help with the other needs that spill out.

In the end, as you know, not everyone will be satisfied. Not everyone will thank you or even recognize that you are trying your darnedest to help them. But don’t be discouraged. You are doing good, and the Spirit helps bring all good endeavors to grow and prosper, even if we are not there to see the fruits!

Of the many questions that you folks asked of my IHM Sisters
(see Nun Questions) this one was one of the more difficult ones.

Have you ever experienced something that made you re-evaluate your vocation? How did you overcome that experience? (from mjpss)

It is a very good and important question, but I wasn’t sure that anyone would want to spontaneously answer the question — let alone on video camera! I think it’s a question that many people have on their minds, especially as they consider a vocation to religious life.

I am happy to say I was proven wrong because one of my IHM Sisters did step up and take this question on. I’ve watched this video at least a dozen times and am still blown away.

Sister Candyce Rekart, IHM, is a Catholic nun belonging to the Immaculate Heart of Mary congregation. Sister Candyce is a clinical psychologist ministering at Clinica de Salud Mental Inc. in Puerto Rico.

I am going to be home for a few days in Monroe, Michigan at our IHM Motherhouse. I’m bringing my handy camcorder with me so that I can film nuns, nature, chapel, and other interesting subjects.

I thought it would be really cool to get some one-line questions from all of you for my IHM Sisters … questions that they could respond to in 2-3 minutes. Some of us (including myself) are a little shy on camera, but if we have an index card with a real question from a real person, we cut loose (well, within reason).

What I need you to do is, using the comment section below, write your one-line questions. They can be serious or light. Examples:

• “Why are you called Immaculate Heart of Mary sisters?”
• “What is your favorite movie and why?”
• “Did you ever want to be married and have children?”
• “Where do you work?”
• “What is your favorite prayer?”

Be creative, friends! My hope is to then post the mini-interviews here on my blog and on my ANunsLife YouTube Channel.

I would LOVE to get at least 50 one-line questions for nuns to respond to. Thanks for participating!

Question from Hayden …

Hi Sister Julie! First of all, I admire you so much! Nuns fascinate me so much. What an amazing spirit you have to lead a life totally for Christ. I am a Christian (Episcopal; raised Episcopal, Methodist, and went to a Church of Christ College), and desire to be closer to God every day! I do have a great relationship with Him, but sometimes think I have trouble hearing what He is telling me. Any advice? I want to learn how to really listen with an open heart and mind. I think it was fate that I even stumbled upon your blog! You are amazing!

Hayden, I’m so glad you came by for visit. Your question is an important one, one that many people including myself have wrestled with. Even Saint Teresa of Avila — a Doctor of the Church in the Roman Catholic tradition because of her teachings on prayer — struggled with prayer and listening to God.

The first thing I want to say is that your very desire to be closer to God is itself a clear indication that God is working within you, drawing you close. As Thomas Merton, the great spiritual writer and Cistercian monk, wrote in a prayer, “I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have this desire in all that I am doing.” He continued, saying, “And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.” For me, that is one of the key things to listening to God and responding to God’s call — tapping into that God-inspired desire within yourself to please God, to respond to God in love, to reverence and stand in awe of God.

One of the best ways to do this is to spend time with God as much as you can. Practice Saint Paul’s injunction that we “pray without ceasing“. That means to have a spirit of prayer in all that you do, as you go about your daily life. It also means taking time just to be with God, alone and without distraction. This can be tough to do, and it is also a very intimate and vulnerable thing to do. But just as we would in a relationship with a loved one, we grow into these moments, we’re able to behold a sunset together without words or to gaze into one another’s eyes with great love. These experiences with God nurture us and help us be more in tuned with what God’s desire is for us, what God’s voice “sounds” or “feels” like.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola teaches that there are some other specific ways to get in tune with God’s call to you and to help you better listen to and respond to God. The overall term for this is “discernment”. Ignatius developed a simple method by which you can review each day in a way that will help you grow in self-understanding and free you to follow God’s will. This practice is called the Daily Examen.

Those are just a few of my thoughts as I pray with you, Hayden, and all of us who long to draw close to God.

What ideas or thoughts does this inspire in you? What helps you to listen to God’s call to you?