Yesterday, Sister Julie and I attended the Associate Covenant ceremony of our friend Holly. The ceremony was held in the Motherhouse in Monroe, Michigan. The warm light of the setting sun glowed in the Chapel windows as Holly stepped forward and made her formal commitment to the IHM way of prayer, community, and ministry. It was a beautiful and deeply touching ceremony.

Holly dedicated the ceremony to Bede Griffiths, a Benedictine priest who has done much writing and speaking about the mystical roots of Christianity. The desire to grow in awareness of oneself and of the Divine certainly isn’t unique to Christianity – it is shared by many of the great religions of the world, such as Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism.

I loved how the ceremony reflected the universal human desire for the Divine. There was a lotus flower, a religious symbol common in Hinduism and Buddhism, on the cover of the ceremony booklet. There were readings from the Book of Wisdom and the Gospel of Luke, as well as from the writings of Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn, among others. The music included pieces such as “How Can I Keep from Singing” and “Nocturne.”

As the ceremony ended and we went forth from the chapel, I thought about the many different ways the Divine is at work in humanity and all of creation. And about the power of symbols to remind us of our interconnectedness in the Spirit. This morning, as I was just waking up, I realized that I was dreaming about a lotus flower placed over an open Bible.

Are there particular symbols that have come to light recently for you? If you’d like to share them, please write about them in the comment box below. If it’s an image, you might want to include a link where the image can be viewed.

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Question from Veronica …

I am a 55 year old practising Catholic. Am married, 2 children are now grown up and living with my husband. Thoughts of pursuing becoming a nun has come and go. Now I feel that there is a need for me to do something, where do I go from here?

Dear Veronica, Many thanks for writing in. You are not alone! I’ve run into many women who have similar wonderings about their life and what they can do to tend to this attraction to religious life.

Becoming a Catholic sister or nun may not be an option for you due to your being currently married and your age. Since the process of becoming a nun takes about 7 years, I’m not sure that religious communities would consider the possibility unless you’ve already had a relationship with them.

Still, your attraction and your desires are real and are a calling from God. Each of us is called in some way to dedicate ourselves to God.

You might want to consider becoming an Associate or Affiliate — a lay woman (married/single) who shares in the mission and spirituality of the community but is not under vows. Lay Affiliates or Associates can also be men.  Not all congregations have associates, and those that do vary in the formation process and the degree to which associates can be involved in the life of the congregation. For a specific example of a congregation’s associate program check out the the Monroe IHM page on IHM Associates.

No matter what age you are or what state of life, there are things you can do and ways to be of service. I encourage you to think about your gifts and talents and about what you would absolutely love to do. There are so many people in need and organizations that would love your help. There are also so many ways to deepen your life of prayer and to grow closer to God. Whether in ministry or prayer, look for something that has a sense of community so that you are supported and encouraged in your work and in your life.

Let me know if what kinds of things are of interest to you in terms of prayer, ministry, and community. That way I’ll be able to offer some more specific suggestions to help.

Blessings, Veronica, and to all who have similar wonderings.

Donna raised an important topic in religious life — the role of lay associates (or affiliates) in religious life — in her comment on my post The Demise of Religious Life. Here’s what Donna said:

Sister Julie and others:

What role do you think lay affiliates of religious orders will play in the future in religious life? Do you think these folk will be more integrated into a given community’s life(i.e., their ministries, activities, etc.) than they are now?

How do you view the associates of your order?
Is it difficult for older, more traditional sisters to accept associates?

First things first … Lay affiliates or associates are women and men who wish to formally associate themselves with a religious community, their mission and spirituality. Not all congregations have associates, and those that do vary in the formation process and the degree to which associates can be involved in the life of the congregation. For a specific example of a congregation’s associate program check out the the Monroe IHM page on IHM Associates.

Now, specifically regarding Donna’s questions … Lay people (including associates/affiliates) already play a significant role in many of our communities. They may hold significant positions in our institution such as financial manager, building administrator, nurse, development director, etc. While these positions are all responsible ultimately to the leadership of a religious community (which is made up of sisters who are our elected leaders/superiors and council members), they still are in positions which enhance and exert influence on the life of the community. Not every community, for example, has a sister who is trained in development work. So we hire someone who is willing to enter into our vision and work with us in that capacity. So congregations have for a long time now relied on the expertise and gifts of lay people. Associates/affiliates are lay people who formally choose to associate with us. They may already be our coworkers, alumna/us from our schools, relatives, former sisters, or simply innocent bystanders who somehow came in contact with us and are attracted to our mission and life. So, since lay people have for a while been part of religious communities, I believe they will continue to play a role in the future of religious life as well.

Do I think associates/affiliates will be more integrated into a given community’s life than they are now? Depending on a community, associates/affiliates may already be integrated into a community’s life. In any given congregation, there may be a range of ways an associate can be involved — from a prayer partner to heading a community’s office of peace and justice. An associate may come to one or two events yearly, while another associate may be on a committee and attend as many events as she/he is able to.

To take Donna’s question in another direction, one might ask (as many have): since some religious communities are experiencing a decrease in numbers, does that mean that communities will become more fully integrated with vowed and lay members in order for the community to survive? A big question which many communities have discussed. I’m not sure I can really answer this question. I do however think it is important to be clear about the significance of God’s call. Being an associate is part of a lay person’s larger call from God. The lay person may be married, have children, and/or be involved in some profession utilitizing their God-given gifts. The call to lay life is no less significant than the call to religious or ordained life. Choosing to associate oneself with a religious congregation does not mean that one wishes to be a quasi-nun. Quasi-nunness (for lack of a better word) is a disservice to the integrity of both the religious life vocation and the lay life vocation. They are two distinct lifestyles. Is there overlapping? Sure. Do we learn from one another? Absolutely. However religious communities proceed with associates/affiliates, I believe we must be clear about this.

In terms of how I view associates … check the link above to see my community’s web page on IHM Associates. I treasure our IHM Associates and have enjoyed working with IHM Associates on various committees and projects, learning with them, and worshipping with them. Each Associate in her or his own way enriches our community.

Finally, is it difficult for “older, more traditional sisters” to accept associates? I’m not really sure. We really can’t make generalizations about this group because there isn’t really one way that any particular age group or type (?) of nun thinks about a particular issue. In my experience, our sisters have been very welcoming of associates. There is a wisdom in our older members that sees beyond labels and embraces people for who they are and respects their journey. Whether liberal or traditional (I use such labels sparingly and with great caution because I believe they are too much of a generalization and do more harm than good), young or old, new to the community or a veteran, a sister may accept associates joyfully or with hesitation. There is such variance.

Well, there’s my two-cents … well, maybe four- or five-cents. Do comment, friends. I’d like to hear the range of thinking on the role of associates in religious life.