AS065 Ask Sister podcast recorded live on March 25, 2011. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org Ministry. Topics include: psychics and nuns, meditating on Scripture, sisters in the parish, Celibacy in the City TV show?, meet Sister Mary Evoca, and more!

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Ask Sister podcast is a live podcast where you have the opportunity to engage with us and ask questions about nuns, prayer, religious life, or pretty much anything in between!

Here are some of the topics we addressed in this Ask Sister podcast:

• I visited a psychic who told me to go to nuns for direction. Help!
• What does it mean to meditate over (or on) scripture?
• What is the role of Catholic sisters and nuns in parish life?
• What’s up with that new recording gizmo on aNunsLife.org/contact (aka our new portress Sr. Mary Evoca)
• Celibacy is CRAZY! Can anyone really live that way?

Do you have a question for us? Visit our new portress Sister Mary Evoca http://anunslife.org/contact/and leave a message for us. Be sure to give us your first name and city from where you are calling. We’ll play your message and respond on the Ask Sister podcast. You can also comment below. In whatever way you contact us, please know that your last name, email address, and any other private information will be kept confidential.

AS033 Ask Sister podcast recorded live on July 9, 2010. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org ministry. Topics include: choosing from many religious orders, nuns and orphanages, vows essential to religious life?, a novelist’s nun character, age to enter, and more!

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

Subscribe to A Nun’s Life Podcasts:

Ask Sister podcast is a live podcast where you have the opportunity to engage with us and ask questions about nuns, prayer, religious life, or pretty much anything in between!

Here are some of the questions we addressed in this Ask Sister podcast:

• With so many religious orders to choose from, how do I begin to make sense of them?
• Is it possible to become a nun and to own an orphanage?
• Is it true that not all religious orders profess the vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience? Aren’t these evangelical counsels required for religious life?
• Is the nun in my soon-to-be published novel a plausible character?
• What is too young or too old to become a sister?
• Do I need a visa to enter a religious community in a country in which I do not have citizenship?

Do you have a question for us? Call our toll-free Voicemail Hotline at 888-703-4732 and leave a voicemail for us with your question. Be sure to give us your first name and city from where you are calling. We’ll play your message and respond on the Ask Sister podcast. You can also send us an email or comment below. In whatever way you contact us, please know that your last name, email address, and any other private information will be kept confidential.

As a celibate, non-sex-having, vocationally-engaged person, I was intrigued by and a bit apprehensive of an article by Jamie Manson entitled Celibacy: Neither healthy nor helpful for the future of vocations in National Catholic Reporter (March 11, 2010).

Although Manson states somewhat parenthentically that she is “not suggesting that celibacy is wrong or unhealthy” and that “for some individuals, this choice is very life-giving”, I get the distinct impression from the entire article that such a choice would be fundamentally against the very nature of “today’s young adults”. Hmmm.

At the old age of 38 and a member of that old-fashioned Generation X, you can take my two cents for what they’re worth. First I concur 100% with the universal call to holiness. There is no such thing as a “higher” calling. You can slap the label “consecrated” or “ordained” or whatever on the calling but it’s still not any better or worse than any other calling. However God calls you is what is most fulfilling for you. True, we still have many remnants of pre-Vatican II ideas and those continue to affect how people understand their own calling and that of others.

I feel badly that Manson and others continue to experience an undervaluing of their desire for a “healthy, loving, committed sexual relationship” and their desire to devote their lives “to the service of the gospel”. But I don’t think changing a recognition of the value of celibacy in consecrated life is going to change that. I think that the problem is that the church (magisterium and people of God) hasn’t yet fully committed to the idea of the universal call to holiness. Even Manson herself seems to feel that the only way that people can be recognized as seeking “a healthy, loving, committed sexual relationship” and “being fully and authentically committed to bringing the life of God into the world” is through consecrated life. Otherwise, why the concern about being “banned” from consecrated life?

I guess I’m confused a bit (which happens at the old age of 38) because I fundamentally agree with Manson about vocation and calling, but there are so many negative celibacy over- and undertones in the article that I’m left wondering (a) if she really understands celibacy (celibacy is a far richer concept and experience than simply not being involved in a sexual relationship) and (b) what she’s really trying to say. Is it that religious life, consecrated virginity, the eremetical life, and other forms of consecrated virginity should lift the celibacy requirement?  Is it that there should be an additional form of consecrated life that recognizes the value of sexual relationships? Is it that the church still has a long way to go in truly promulgating the universal call to holiness? Is it that celibacy is fundamentally unnatural for young people today and into the future? Is it that celibacy’s only value is for the quirky few who find it life giving?

Well, those are a few thoughts from one quirky Gen X-er. What do you think?

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Join two celibate women and others for prayer tonight at 6 p.m. Central Daylight Time at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE (note: due to Daylight Saving Time our broadcast has shifted to UTC-5)

Celibacy is a way of life for Catholic sisters and nuns as well as for religious brothers and monks. But what is celibacy and how does one live celibacy, especially in a society that can be both sex-obsessed and a bit prudish about sex?

Before talking about celibacy, I think it’s important to point out that celibacy is not a condemnation or rejection of sex. And celibacy (as well as sex) relates to a lot more than the physical act of having sex. “Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others. (Catechism) Also important to note is that there is a difference between celibacy and chastity.

Okay, so celibacy. I’m responding in part from a reader’s email asking for a post on celibacy — not just an “academic” approach to what it is but sisters’ own personal witness to the celibate life.

As she noted, it’s not all that often that we celibate folks talk about it from a personal standpoint. I think mostly that’s because it is has to do with one’s sexuality and is indeed personal. Still, since celibacy isn’t mainstream, I think it’s important that we do talk about it with some degree of candor while also respecting personal boundaries. I was blessed to have a couple nuns whom I could ask any thing and it was through their own experience and witness to celibacy that I could find answers to my own questions and carve out a way of understanding what God’s particular call to me.

The only thing I knew about celibacy in religious life, prior to knowing my nuns, is that it meant NO SEX. It was something that was half-admired, but also half-mocked. Are nuns celibate because they “can’t get a guy” or because they are sexually repressed? Is it a special calling for only the holiest of holies? Does God give nuns a gift of not having sexual urges? None of those things particularly appealed to me or applied to me (I did not imagine myself to be particularly holy) so I never thought that lifelong celibacy would be my particular calling.

In grad school when I first began thinking about religious life (and resisted being attracted to it) I got to know more religious — women and men who were celibate. They didn’t strike me as repressed people and seemed to have a healthy sense of self and other. They were not “holier than thou” people, just ordinary women and men serving God.

Long story short, I became more open to the idea of celibacy and now I’m celibate for life.

My witness to celibacy is more than just not having sex, it’s about being free. An important “ah-ha!” moment was watching Dead Man Walking and the scene where Sister Helen Prejean talks about why she became a nun and chose not to be married. There was a sense that her not being attached to one single person or one single family allowed her to be free to go where the needs were. It made a huge impression on me. I began to realize that as big of a deal it was to commit to no sex it was a bigger deal to commit to the positive life stance of being free to serve wherever God called.

I know you probably have some questions so I’ll end here with this quote:

“Life is not all about sex.”

Samantha (Kim Cattrall) in a Sex in the City episode

Question from Christina, a visitor to A Nun’s Life …

Hello Sister, My son and I were watching the Rosary tonight and he asked,”can Sisters be married and still be a Sister?” I didn’t know the answer to this question so I’m asking you for help.

The answer very simply is no. Catholic Sisters and Nuns cannot get married. Here’s why.

When a woman becomes a nun or sister (or a man becomes a monk/brother/friar), she makes 3 vows: a vow of poverty, a vow of obedience, and a vow of celibacy. So just as married people make vows to each other — that they will love one another and be a family for their whole lives, “till death do us part”, so to do sisters make vows to God within the context of her religious community (her family) for her whole life. These are two different kinds of life commitments.

As a married person, your love for God is expressed through love of your spouse and children and through the work that you do. As a sister, your love for God is expressed through your community life with your nuns and through prayer and ministry. There are similarities, but the two life commitments are mutually exclusive.

It is possible, however, for a woman who has been married and is no longer married in the eyes of the Church to become a nun. It is also possible for a woman who was a nun and left the convent validly to get married. But she cannot do both at the same time.

Many thanks for the question, Christina, and son!

What thoughts do you have on this question?

Big news it seems in the entertainment world. Natalie Portman has been outed as having turned down the role of a young nun in the movie Doubt because she couldn’t wrap her head around the character being celibate. Playwright John Patrick Shanley explained: “We asked Natalie Portman, and Natalie was very interested but kept saying she had a problem. And we finally nailed down as to what the problem was: she basically said she didn’t understand celibacy.”

As you might suspect, I have a few words of wisdom for Natalie, as well as for Amy Adams who eventually took the role. Celibacy, my friends, is not an easy thing to understand especially in our society, but it is worth wresting with.

First things first: celibacy is basically abstaining from sexual relations. For people who take a religious vow of celibacy (as Catholic sisters and nuns do), the meaning of celibacy goes deeper than “merely” not having sex. Don’t get me wrong, not having sex is a significant choice and is not for the faint of heart. But it’s more than that for nuns. When we profess a vow of celibacy, we make a conscious choice of how we want to BE in the world, how we want to comport ourselves and how we want to relate to people and to the world. It means that we choose not only to not have sex, but also to not engage in sexual activity or to have “romantic”, exclusive relationships.

Whereas a married, sexually-active person gives herself/himself to a spouse and to a family, a nun gives herself to her relationship with God which is expressed through her relationship with her religious community (her “family”) and her mission (the way she serves the world). Being celibate leaves a nun “free” to go where God and her community calls her to go (having children and a spouse can make this more challenging). There’s also a counter-cultural dimension to the vow of celibacy. A nun testifies by her life that sex is not what it’s all about. Yes, sex is good, but even for healthy, sexually-active people, it doesn’t define a person nor constitute who she or he is.

Celibacy is not all that a nun is about — there is much more, though celibacy is definitely the first thing that might hit you! Celibacy is lived within a community of sisters who support one another in this lifestyle. We also profess the vows of poverty (simple living, holding all things in common) and obedience (to God and to the mission of the Congregation) which combined with celibacy shape a nuns life and help her live her life-long commitment to God, her sisters, and the world.

There’s lots more to say about living celibacy as a nun, but I’ll stop for now with an invitation: if you are considering playing a Catholic sister and nun, don’t get hung up on the celibacy part of it. It’s worth wrestling with and you can always come by A Nun’s Life for some insight and advice!