IGF006 In Good Faith with Sister Laurel O’Neal, a diocesan hermit, recorded live on February 3, 2011. Produced by aNunsLife.org ministry. Our hosts talk with Sister Laurel about about the life of a hermit, eremitical solitude, chronic illness, and more!

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Guest: Sister Laurel O’Neal, diocesan hermit.

Sister Laurel O’Neal is a diocesan hermit, theologian, spiritual director and author of the blog notesfromstillsong.blogspot.com.

Show Notes:

• what a hermit is
• historical origins of the eremitical life
• eremitical life in the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition
• discerning a call to eremitical life
• relationship of diocesan hermit to the diocese and bishop
• difference between eremitical life and other forms of consecrated life
• the daily pattern of life for a hermit — the horarium
• lay hermits
• the digital hermitage — a blog as a window to the world
• common misperceptions about the life of a hermit
• chronic illness and vocation
• the unusual vividness of chronic illness
• solitude in the life of a hermit
• deepening the relationship with God through solitude

In Good Faith is a conversation exploring God’s call in everyday life hosted by A Nun’s Life Sisters Maxine and Julie. Our monthly program features guests who are nationally known for their ministry in spirituality, religious life, and discernment. We’ll look at how our guests understand their own life as a calling and discuss a variety of perspectives on living faith and call in everyday life. The program is broadcast live every first Thursday of the month from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m. Central Time. Tune in at www.aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

For more information, including upcoming guests on In Good Faith, please visit the program page of In Good Faith.

Think being a hermit means heading to the wilderness, living in a creepy cave, and eating wild locusts? Think again. Here’s a great story from Australia about Carol Prevedello who was recently consecrated a hermit.

Selections from “Inner West woman becomes hermit to devote life to God”
by Fiona Brady, September 29, 2010

Carol Prevedello was consecrated a hermit before Bishop Julian Porteous in St Joan of Arc Church, Haberfield. She has made promises of poverty, chastity and obedience and pledged to live a life of prayer, penance, silence and solitude in a tradition that dates back to biblical times.

She doesn’t dwell in a cave in the wilderness, but lives with her parents in a two-storey house in the Inner West. She keeps a mobile phone in her handbag (for medical emergencies) and occasionally accept requests for prayers via email (though she prefers snail mail).

Carol is the primary carer for her mom and being a hermit allows her to continue that care and also to respond to God’s calling to “remain spiritually withdrawn from the world.” She follows a rule approved by the Cardinal, prays throughout the day, fasts, lives modestly, and moderates her interaction with others but making exceptions for “reasons of charity or necessity”.

“Some people think that a hermit means being anti-social. I’m anything but that,” she said. “I love people. A religious hermit is someone who withdraws so they can be closer to God and pray on behalf of people… on behalf of all mankind [sic]. It has given me the peace I’ve been looking for all my life.”

Read the full story: “Inner West woman becomes hermit to devote life to God“.

Also check out earlier articles on hermits at aNunsLife.org.

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Join A Nun’s Life Community for prayer today via our live podcast “Praying with the Sisters” and chat room. Just before 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone) join us at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE … more info on that page.

Question from Jess …

Hi Sister, Do you feel lonely as a nun? Do you feel lonely not having a family and how do you deal with it? The call to be single and without family is pretty huge. How do you cope?

I’ve written a little about feeling lonely and being a nun at Do Nuns Ever Feel Lonely? I also asked Sister Laurel, about being a hermit and experiencing loneliness. The loneliness, in many ways, is no different than the loneliness that one feels as a single person, as a person in a committed relationship, or as a married person. Loneliness for me has to do with that part of me that only God can fill. Sometimes I try to fill it with things that are not God – other relationships, my work, various distractions, etc. These things in themselves are not bad or wrong, but when I put them in the place that God alone can fill, then I’m the one who suffers that feeling of loneliness because I’ve placed things in between God and myself.

Now in terms of being a nun or being a single person, there is another kind of loneliness – the loneliness of not having an exclusive and committed partner, that one person who is there for you in all ways, the person you come home to and share your life with. In my 10+ years as a religious, I certainly have felt this kind of loneliness or longing for that one person – often it is a fleeting feeling, something that pops up after seeing a mushy romance flick or seeing the beautiful ways that couples I know live and grow together in love. But for me it’s not a bad feeling or one that causes me regret. The reason is because I am at home in my vocation and in my IHM community. I am at home with God. It’s okay to feel like, wow what would it have been like if I had married so-and-so? What would it be like to give birth, to hold my own child? I can reflect on these, maybe grieve them a bit, but I always return to the joy and delight in the life that I have chosen by the grace of God. I delight in my nephews and the children of my family and friends. I rejoice in the hospitality and love shown to me by my family’s families and my friend’s families. It’s not the same as having your own, true. But for me, it is enough.

A nun’s singleness is different from a single person’s singleness. Catholic sisters and nuns are called into a life of community. Our common life – sharing all finances, possessions, mission, gifts, etc. I have my wonderful Vieira family – parents, siblings, assorted relatives – and I have my IHM family. These are women with whom I vow to live for God through our particular charism and way of life. They are companions on the journey with me, there with me in good times and bad.

Though single people do not have a built-in community like nuns do, I think it would be important to have people around you that share in your vocation and that can support and encourage you. If you feel called to lifelong singlehood as a vocation from God, I encourage you to seek a spiritual director who can help you discern and authentically and joyfully live this call. As with all vocations, it is not without its struggles but it also has its joys and adventures!

A couple weeks ago I gave the first two installments from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God and Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community.

Here’s the final installment. How blessed we are that a hermit is blogging because we don’t often get to see what this vocation and lifestyle is like. The eremitical life (the vocation of being a hermit as recognized by the Catholic Church) is another way to live out God’s call to live fully and to proclaim the Good News of Jesus.

Here are my final questions and Sister Laurel’s responses …

3) How is the eremetical life a gift to the Church and world?

The eremitical life is a gift of profound love, wholeness and sanity in a world which lacks this so very often. I understand it as a life which takes human brokenness and weakness and allows them to be touched and transformed by the grace of God. “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” Probably every vocation does and says this, but I am not sure there is a more vivid example than that of a hermit who lives with, from, and for God alone, and comes to love others as much as possible only through and in God. We live in a world where people are often isolated and distrust the preciousness and meaningfulness of their own lives. The hermit says there is no need to doubt or distrust these things, especially if one is not rich or successful in worldly terms. God alone is sufficient for us, and if we can let that be true our lives have an almost infinite meaningfulness and import — no matter what the world says about such things!

Hermits like to see themselves as the heart of the church silently and steadily beating away at the core of things, mediating God’s grace to church and world. The hermitage is a small but powerful cell in the reality of the coming Kingdom allowing in it’s own tiny way, heaven and earth to interpenetrate each other. A gift to church and world calling each to their very best selves? That is what I think the hermit vocation is about.

4) What would you say to someone considering the eremitical life?

Good question. There is no one thing I would say, I guess. The first thing that tends to pop out is WHY??? Some of the things I would advise would include: have a good spiritual director who can assist you to really grow to human maturity and discern what is of the Spirit and what is not. Be clear that your motives for embracing such a life are rooted in love, love for God, for self, and for others. If you have substantial healing of your own to do, get to it before you make any commitments to eremitical life. The hermitage allows for such work to be done but actual commitments to the life need to have that out of the way as much as possible. Get yourself a decent theological grounding ( also as much as possible), and of course, PRAY!!!

Do you have any other questions for Sister Laurel? Even if you are not called to become a hermit, what are some things about hermits that you can (or would like to) reasonably incorporate into your own life?

Last week I gave the first installment from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God. Here’s the next installment. I always wondered if hermits feel lonely or if they miss being within a religious community of other nuns … and so I asked …

2) Are you lonely? Do you miss being in community?

No, I am not generally lonely if by that you mean the anxiety to be with people, or to be in touch, etc. I am lonely in the sense of being with God by myself most of the time.

I miss community most when I sing Office because I loved Office in choir. However, I attend daily Mass, and am supported emotionally (loved!) by my parish and local community more generally.

I am not a recluse and I do see people fairly regularly, so no, no loneliness! I do miss community life, however, so enhancing contacts with women religious and other hermits is something I want to do more of.

I really appreciated this, Sister Laurel. Even sisters who lives in community experience loneliness — for me, it is much like you said. One of my married friends spoke of this kind of loneliness too even though she is happily married to a great guy. Sometimes we can misunderstand that loneliness as a problem in our relationships, in our community, etc. but often it is a call … a call to a deeper experience of God. Karl Rahner, the great Jesuit theologian (and my MA thesis subject) wrote often of this. I have come to appreciate it as a kind of “radical loneliness” that can not be quenched but by God. It’s uncomfortable a lot of times, but even in the discomfort there is a peace because it is a sign of God’s presence with us.

UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit

Recently I added Sister Laurel O’Neal’s blog Notes from Stillsong Hermitage to my list of Blogs by Catholic Nuns. Sister Laurel graciously responded to some questions I had for her about what it is like to be a hermit.

1) How did you know God was calling you to become a hermit?

Although formerly involved active apostolates (hospital chaplaincy, clinical lab, religious ed, etc), chronic illness made those difficult, and in some ways my life just didn’t quite “make sense”.

I was struggling against myself so to speak. I needed to find a context which would allow ALL of my life to makes sense, not just the gifts, but the weakness and brokenness as well.

In 1983 canon 603 was published. It piqued my interest but did not capture my imagination. Afterall, weren’t hermits a dead breed and wasn’t contemplative life sort of a waste??? Shortly thereafter I read Thomas Merton’s Contemplation in a World of Action; in this book is a long defense of the eremitical life. Now THAT completely captured my imagination.

The short version is, I began living the life on a trial basis and found that everything came together with a kind of coherence it had not had before: writing, directing, prayer, illness, education, and a need to truly love others all worked together within an eremitical context. I discovered for the first time, a real sense of mission — which, as you know, is different from just a sense of purpose.

The eremitical life is one that I have always loved reading about (mostly the Desert Fathers and Mothers), but one that I have never personally experienced. I’ve never really explored what it means to be a hermit as a life choice. My thanks to Sister Laurel for her blog and for responding to my questions.

Be sure to visit Sister Laurel’s blog — she recently responded to the question How do you know you are staying on track? and shows how this applies not only to an urban hermit but to all of us who try to keep on track amidst life’s many distractions, responsibilities, etc.

And stay tuned as I post Sister Laurel’s responses to other questions!

UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community and Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit

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