Welcome to A Nun’s Life, and welcome to our online discussion with Sister Mary McDevitt, a Catholic Sister in my IHM Congregation and a spiritual director. Sister Mary will be joining Sister Maxine Kollasch and myself in order to listen to and respond to your questions about discernment and how to know God is calling you.

This discussion takes place right here on this page in the comment section (below). We begin at 7 p.m. EST and go until 9 p.m

I asked Sister Mary a few preliminary questions just to give us a glimpse of who she is. Read more on my original post introducing Sister Mary.

Sister Julie: Who are the IHM Sisters of Monroe, Michigan? What is your spirituality and mission/ministry?

Sister Mary: The IHM Sisters were founded in 1845 for the education of children in the area. Through the years we have expanded to broader and wider ministries. After a long history of classroom teaching, we have come to understand education in many forms through parishes, retreats, and other ministries. Some still are called to ministry within schools.

The spirituality of IHMs is to share in the work of Jesus to bring about the “dream of God” for this world and for even for the whole planet. Since our earliest history there is a predilection to minister to those who are in dire straits either directly or through education indirectly.

Sister Julie: What was it like for you when you discerned becoming a Catholic sister and entering the IHM community?

Sister Mary: In the 1950s when I considered my future, vowed religious life was the only way I could think of enjoying a life given within the Church for the building up of the Body of Christ. Lay ministry was not very much in vogue. The vowed life seemed to be as a way to give my life totally to the work of God.

Sister Julie: What kind of work do you do at Visitation Spirituality Center?

Sister Mary: Visitation North Spirituality center is a place of welcome for all those who seek some space and time for themselves. We offer spiritual direction, at home retreats, as well as thematic presentations such as Lent, grief, and creative space for artists.

Please extend a warm welcome to Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM.

In yesterday’s post on 4 Steps for Discernment and Decision-Making, Sister Mary noted in Step 2 that you can create a kind of chart to help you figure out how you feel about a decision that you have to make.

I thought I’d give you an example of what that chart might look like for the question, Should I go to graduate school or not?

The pros and cons don’t have to seem like significant reasons, they just have to be important to us. I remember when I had to choose a high school, I ended up going to one because their basketball uniforms looked more cool than the other school’s. Now it wasn’t my only reason, but that desire encapsulated for me all that I felt about the school and that I could envision myself in that school, with those people, and, of course, in that uniform!

Try making a chart for yourself. Consider something in your life that requires you to make a decision. It might be big, it might be small. Try it out and be attentive to the guidance that Sister Mary gives on discernment. Let us know how it goes.

What questions or observations do you have for Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM, in preparation for our online discussion with Sister Mary this Sunday, February 15, from 7-9 p.m. EST?

In Decision-Making Using a Process of Discernment of Spirits, Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM, led us through understanding discernment, consolations, and desolations. When discerning and having to make a significant decision, it’s important to be aware your own inner spirit which is where God dwells within you. Today, Sister Mary takes us through concrete steps to help us figure out how God is calling us. She uses the discernment question example from the previous post, “Should I go to graduate school or not?”

Now, let’s get practical.

Are there steps I can take once I am more aware of my inner spirit?

1. Pray

• I pray and stay in the presence of God often.
• I ask God to give me freedom of spirit.
• I try to say to God, “Whatever choice is your will, it’s ok with me.”
• When I lift up each choice to God — e.g., about going to graduate school — I notice what my heart says. I check out my thoughts, too, and the long-range consequences of this action.

2. Write down two columns for each choice

• I line up the pros and cons of the situations. Two columns on why I would not go to graduate school — the good side (pro), and the not-so-good side (con).
• Then I do the same with the reverse: the pros and cons of going to grad school.
• I pray over the list and see which reasons are most moving, most serious and which affect my relationships with other people.
• One expert suggests: Be on your death-bed and ask which choice you would be glad you made.
• For Christians: Bring the decision and kneel under the Cross of Christ. How does it make sense there? Will this decision bring me closer to Jesus Christ in my living the Gospel?

3. Time for confirmation

• Once I have made a tentative decision, I talk it over with those who know me.
• I wait awhile and see if I feel peaceful in this decision as it becomes clearer.

4. Choose, act and be grateful

• One or many of these steps may guide me. I may wish to do these steps with a spiritual companion.

Sister Mary has given us a lot to think and pray on. In preparation for our live discussion with Sister Mary this Sunday, February 15, from 7-9 p.m. EST, please offer your comments and questions below.

The following reflection is from Sister Mary McDevitt, IHM, a spiritual director and sister in my community. Sister Mary will be joining us this Sunday, February 15, from 7-9 p.m. EST to have a live discussion with you around discernment and decision-making.

What is “Discernment of Spirits”?

Why spirits in the plural? From many holy writings we can say that not every personal impulse and not every attraction is necessarily from God. For example, “I feel called to be on a beach in Hawaii.” The attraction may be something rather shallow that is from our own non-reflective spirit’s prompting.

For those of us who believe in a spirit world, some decisions may be the tempting of an evil spirit. This is tricky because evil never looks like evil, but instead looks like good. On the other hand, the inspiration may be truly from the Holy Spirit of God. So there are at least three kinds of spirits: holy, not-so-holy, and evil.

How do I figure out which spirit is prompting me?

Saints in both Hebrew and Christian scriptures and during the history of spirituality have searched to find, “What is the will of God for me?” or, “What is the dream of God for the part of the world that I inhabit?” (Think of the “dream of God” as Martin Luther King’s, “I have a dream”.) Let’s say the question is, “Should I go to graduate school or not?”

Here are two steps that might help me figure it out:

1) Self-Awareness

I must search my heart. I need to habitually analyze what I am thinking, and feeling, asking if this inspiration comes from God and and where is it leading? This takes time, habitual prayer, and profound honesty.

2) Awareness of my affective states

This means recognizing certain good feelings known as consolations. These feelings lead me closer to God. Other feelings identified as desolations are also states of affectivity which may indicate an increasing distance from God.

Here are some examples:

1) C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis, while riding on the upper layer of a bus in England, felt he was touched by God. He described it like someone asking him to let go. He knew it was from God. When he surrendered to the good Spirit he wrote that it was as if he was a “man of snow” beginning to melt and what was rigid became flexible. (Read more about C.S. Lewis)

2) Angela of Foligno

Angela of Foligno experienced desolation and only dryness of spirit, feeling abandoned by God. She could not pray as usual and only felt absence. (Read more about Angela of Foligno)

3) Immaculée Ilibagiza

Immaculée Ilibagiza, having endured 3 months of hiding with 7 others in a crowded bathroom during the Rwandan genocide, wrote later in Left to Tell, “A wave of despair washed over me and I was overwhelmed by fear. I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could to resist negative thoughts… I prayed as intensely as I ever have. The struggle between the evil whispers raged in my mind.” (Read more about Immaculée Ilibagiza)

Think about a situation in which you have a decision to make. Given what Sister Mary outlined about discernment, consider what consolations you experienced, and what desolations you experienced. Keep in mind that just because something is uncomfortable or difficult doesn’t mean that it is automatically desolation. We can feel consolation and profound peace, even in the most difficult situations. Correspondingly, just because something is easy and pleasurable doesn’t mean it is automatically consolation.

Write down, either here or for yourself, an experience of consolation and/or an experience of desolation. What did you do with the experience? What did you learn from it? (“I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer!)

P.S. Tomorrow’s post will deal with getting practical with discernment and decision-making. And please plan to join us on Sunday from 7-9 p.m. to chat with Sister Mary.

Discernment is a topic that regularly comes up on A Nun’s Life. Last month I wrote a post called How is God calling you? and a few of you asked about continuing the conversation with a spiritual director. Well, I’ve been working on that and am pleased to announce that one of my IHM Sisters who is a spiritual director will be joining us this Sunday evening from 7-9 p.m. EST for a discussion on discernment and decision-making from a faith perspective.

Sister Mary McDevitt is an Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM) Sister from Monroe, Michigan. For many years, she worked in areas of spiritual formation within the IHM congregation and engaged in retreat work. Sister Mary taught history of spirituality and spiritual direction at a local seminary in Orchard Lake, Michigan. There she assisted seminarians and lay men and women to complete their Master of Divinity degrees before they served as pastors, associates and staff in parishes. Sister Mary is now director of Visitation North Spirituality Center in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.

In preparation for Sister Mary’s visit, I asked her to provide us with an overview of what discernment is and some concrete steps to help us figure out how God is calling us. Over the next few days, I’ll post her reflections on discernment and we can chat about it. Then on Sunday, Sister Mary will join us on the blog for a live discussion (like how we did the Doubt movie discussion).

Stay tuned for more on discernment and details about Sunday’s live discussion with Sister Mary. Feel free to offer any preliminary thoughts, questions, etc. on discernment or ideas of what you’d like to see Sister Mary address within the realm of discernment. And please spread the word about this event!