We know that prayer is integral to our life and faith. But sometimes we just don’t seem to have the time for it. Take today for example. I woke up thinking about all the things I have to do today including a couple past-due deadlines, an email inbox that is overflowing, a meet to prepare for and participate in, errands, and a podcast. Needless to say, I was stressed before I even got out of bed. To make matters worse, we’re low on coffee!

My instinct is to hop out of bed and turn the computer on and get to work. And that’s exactly what I did this morning. Barely registered the fact that I was jumping over my time for prayer (yes, it happens to us religious folk too). Now having knocked a few things off my list (but with plenty left), I’m feeling less stressed, but also less myself. What’s missing? Prayer.

True, prayer doesn’t get me any closer to finishing these tasks. In fact, it appears to pull be further away because that’s precious time and energy I could place elsewhere. Yet prayer can’t be reduced to an item on an agenda, a “to-do” that can be checked off. It’s the very soul of life, the rhythm of one’s day, the disposition that one brings to everyone and everything else.

I know God understands and is not mad or planning to smote me. At the same time, I know and feel it’s importance in my relationship with God, with myself, and with others. Even though I’m in work mode now, and in the middle of a timely project, I’m going to set the timer — finish the most crucial thing for today which will set my mind at ease — and then recover my time for prayer and my prayerful openness to the rest of the day.

Ever had one of these days? What helps you return to prayer and a “prayerful openness”?

* * *

We’d be honored if you would join us for prayer this evening. Sister Maxine and I pray at 6:00 p.m. CST (your time zone).

Question from Hayden …

Hi Sister Julie! First of all, I admire you so much! Nuns fascinate me so much. What an amazing spirit you have to lead a life totally for Christ. I am a Christian (Episcopal; raised Episcopal, Methodist, and went to a Church of Christ College), and desire to be closer to God every day! I do have a great relationship with Him, but sometimes think I have trouble hearing what He is telling me. Any advice? I want to learn how to really listen with an open heart and mind. I think it was fate that I even stumbled upon your blog! You are amazing!

Hayden, I’m so glad you came by for visit. Your question is an important one, one that many people including myself have wrestled with. Even Saint Teresa of Avila — a Doctor of the Church in the Roman Catholic tradition because of her teachings on prayer — struggled with prayer and listening to God.

The first thing I want to say is that your very desire to be closer to God is itself a clear indication that God is working within you, drawing you close. As Thomas Merton, the great spiritual writer and Cistercian monk, wrote in a prayer, “I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have this desire in all that I am doing.” He continued, saying, “And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.” For me, that is one of the key things to listening to God and responding to God’s call — tapping into that God-inspired desire within yourself to please God, to respond to God in love, to reverence and stand in awe of God.

One of the best ways to do this is to spend time with God as much as you can. Practice Saint Paul’s injunction that we “pray without ceasing“. That means to have a spirit of prayer in all that you do, as you go about your daily life. It also means taking time just to be with God, alone and without distraction. This can be tough to do, and it is also a very intimate and vulnerable thing to do. But just as we would in a relationship with a loved one, we grow into these moments, we’re able to behold a sunset together without words or to gaze into one another’s eyes with great love. These experiences with God nurture us and help us be more in tuned with what God’s desire is for us, what God’s voice “sounds” or “feels” like.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola teaches that there are some other specific ways to get in tune with God’s call to you and to help you better listen to and respond to God. The overall term for this is “discernment”. Ignatius developed a simple method by which you can review each day in a way that will help you grow in self-understanding and free you to follow God’s will. This practice is called the Daily Examen.

Those are just a few of my thoughts as I pray with you, Hayden, and all of us who long to draw close to God.

What ideas or thoughts does this inspire in you? What helps you to listen to God’s call to you?

Yesterday I wrote about Cycling and Meditation (BTW, I had a wonderful ride — felt great to be out, got a bruise, briefly lost my riding partner at Cicero and Devon, inhaled a bug, dodged a car driven by someone on her cell phone, saw a young deer with furry little antlers, beheld the beauty of the forest preserves, waved to a little girl on a bike, drank a ton of water, and got home safely and full of joy!)

David commented on my post and shared some of his own experience of prayer.

When “in the groove” with prayer- whether on a bike or not- it is great feeling. The words seem to take on deeper meaning than other words, and are virtually tangible. You don’t dwell on them- everything flows smoothly- but they are particularly meaningful and they seem to permeate your entire body- not just your brain.

I wish this were my daily experience with prayer, but it has not been for me. It is very weird how easy prayer and meditation sometime come, and how forced they are at other times. I have reflected upon it often and can’t find a cause and effect. Sometimes prayer is “easy” when life is going well, I am rested, not anxious, etc. Sometimes it is the opposite.

David well described the feeling of prayer when it is effortless — that is truly a gift of the Spirit. It is something we can’t conjure up ourselves. We can certainly prepare ourselves to be open to it, but it is a totally free gift of God.

I too wish that this was always my experience of prayer, and the temptation is to think “I must not be doing it right” when prayer doesn’t have that effortlessness. But prayer can take so many forms, so many feelings. “Effortlessness” — which I love — is not the only indicator of prayer. Sometimes we struggle, we get distracted, we feel out of sorts. These feelings are okay too and can be part of prayer.

Like David, I don’t like that feeling of prayer being forced … still we have to be faithful to prayer even in these times. Feeling like it is forced might mean we have to try something different — like pray the Rosary instead of centering prayer or vice versa. Or try a different time of day. Maybe it means continuing with the same prayer and just saying to God, “I’m feeling like this is really forced right now, God. I know you are with me in this.”

And remember, prayer is nothing more or less than being with God, talking and listening with Someone who loves us very much. As with other relationships, it takes time to grow with one another, learn our own quirks about how we are with the other. We can develop a “habit of prayer” by regularly taking time to pray and to develop an attitude — a life, really — of prayer such that we are always disposed to being open to God — in prayer, at work, on a bike ride, in an argument, shopping, etc. It takes practice and desire and openness on our part.

And be assured that this is God’s desire for us — to draw close with us, to be with us even if it feels forced or effortless. It is still being with God.

Here’s a little follow up to my post on nuns and sexual urges.

Too often people assume that nuns are women who couldn’t “get a guy” or who broke up with someone they thought was “the one” and was left with no alternative. Nuns are also stereotyped as sexually repressed, dowdy women who lack passion and care only about piety, cleanliness and order.

On the contrary …

Women do not become nuns because they had a bad relationship or because they don’t like sexual activity/energy or because they “can’t get a guy”. Nuns are women who would have made wonderful lovers, wives, and mothers. Still we choose to respond to God’s call to a different way of life, a way of life that is just as full and natural as single or married life.

I think I’ve pretty much covered this one already, but it deserves being said again: As a rule, nuns are not sexually repressed. (for more, read “How do nuns deal with sexual urges?“)

Nuns are not required by their Rule of Life (aka Constitutions), the Church, or anyone else to be dowdy. Frugal and modest? Absolutely. But this doesn’t mean we have to be bland or cover up our personality. I’ve seen nuns in some of the most plain, inexpensive habits and outfits but they shine and sparkle nonetheless. Nuns are not dowdy, generic women but women who are confident in themselves, in their God, and in their chosen way of life.

Nuns are some of the most passionate people I’ve ever known. Whether they are in prayer, wrangling executives on a school board, opening clinics in rural Brazil, protesting the death penalty, or catechizing children and adults, nuns are filled with passion for God, for others, and for life.

Piety, cleanliness, and order are good things, but they aren’t the only or even the main things that characterize us as nuns. How about these? Compassion, prayerfulness, humor, strength, gentleness, confidence, insight, forgiveness, openness, faithfulness … the list goes on. Many of these things are virtues that we all strive for, sometimes not quite reaching, but striving nonetheless.

So next time you see or hear one of these stereotypes, speak up and set the record straight.

Catholic News Service published this article yesterday about the resignation of Father Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, SJ, as General Superior of the Jesuits. He had been General Superior for 25 years.

My prayers are with the Jesuits as they discern who will be their next General Superior. I’ve known the Jesuits for many years and have been formed by Ignatian Spirituality. I am grateful to be working for a Jesuit apostolate — Loyola Press.

The Jesuits are a religious order of men. Like Sisters, they profess the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Here’s what one Jesuit vocation office says about their understanding of the vows:

A Vowed Life in Common

St. Ignatius of Loyola imagined religious life in non-conventional terms. His monastery was the world; his prayer, to find God in all things; his work, whatever helped people. In this setting, the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience become instruments to enable Jesuits to do the work of God’s realm.

The vow of poverty is focused on using one’s energies, talents, time and resources for the good of others. In an age when possessing means power over others, Jesuits take a serious promise to live in a public way as Christ did, believing that people are more important than things.

Chastity centers on one’s affective, sexual life. It is a vow which orients one’s energies to a love people can trust. Jesuits should be men of openness and availability. Their chastity is the willingness to be available to all, not exclusively to one person or to one family. The Society of Jesus looks for men who are capable of directing their affective life towards all people, caring for them with the integrity of Christ himself.

Obedience, the touchstone of Jesuit life, is the call to find and follow the will of God, through prayer, discernment and dialogue with one’s superior. The Jesuit places his entire being at the disposal of God for the service of God’s people, to do the work of God’s realm as presented to him by the Society through the superior.

These traits of trust, openness, vision and communication are practices in daily community life. While Jesuits live together for the sake of their apostolic work, we also live together for mutual support, challenge and inspiration. These two sets of values have been kept in balance: community for service and community for mutual growth and development.

(source)

It’s a quiet day here on the homefront. I had a busy week at work and am glad to have a couple days of rest. I spent my Friday night running some errands, getting groceries, and picking up around the house. Not exactly what I used to do in the old days, but it suits me just fine now. I like the sound of silence. When there is quiet and openness around me then I feel quiet and open inside.

This morning I’m still doing some cleaning (after coffee and prayer of course). My buddy and fellow IHM is coming over. I’ve got a new recipe that I’m going to test out on her. It’s called Scrapless Scrapple and the recipe says it was adapted from Ina’s on West Randolph Street here in Chicago. Hmmmm … I think I’ll have to check out that restaurant. It looks very good. Anyways, I don’t remember what magazine I clipped the recipe out of, but you can find it online. I’ll let you know how the Sister Testing goes. Generally my cooking is quite good, but on occasion I have made some rather unpalatable things. Like the time (when I was younger) I made French Toast for my dad and for some reason decided it should be made with garlic. Not a good idea. There’s also the time I was at a friend’s house cooking pasta and sauce (Grandma’s recipe) and forgot to stir the sauce in a timely manner. The sauce overheated and was on the wall, ceiling and places that even God could not see. I’m pretty sure she had to repaint her kitchen after that but I’ll bet we can still find some sauce sticking around!

Have a happy Saturday whatever you do today! Cheers!

Today begins the awesome and holy season of Lent. When Ash Wednesday hits we tend to think, “O no, now I have to give something up.” But Ash Wednesday and Lent are so much more than that. It is a time of preparation, a time of freeing ourselves from the things that bind us and moving into a deeper relationship with God, our family and friends, and the Church community. It is a time to celebrate the gifts God has given us, to examine how well we live those gifts, and to clear away the things that prevent us from being the gifted person we are. What’s not to love about that?

Our wonderful Catholic tradition gives us many different ways to do some Lenten spring-cleaning in our lives. Prayer, fasting and almsgiving are the top three. They are things that should already be a part of our lives but during this time of Lent we pay more attention to them and give them a greater space in our lives.

Often fasting gets a bad name. We do the venerable and cool tradition of fasting a disservice when we equate it with “giving something up” which is how I approached fasting for most of my life. My “give-up” of choice was the innocent donut. It never hurt anyone, but still I spurned it throughout Lent. I don’t think that this really did any good for my spiritual life. Eventually I learned more about fasting in a variety of religious traditions as well as an overall aesthetical practice, a spiritual discipline. I realized that fasting is not about denial but about freedom … freeing ourselves from the things that bind us and keep us from right relationship with ourselves, with others, with creation and with our God. Fasting from food is one form of fasting. We eat simply (if at all) and only what is necessary. This has a profound effect on the body and frankly feels very good. It also lends itself to a clearness of mind. Just as our body and mind are affected, so also is our spirit. Our fasting from food is a way of simplifying, getting down to basics, clearing oneself to be in a place of openness, receptivity. It gives us a chance to take stock of where we are in our life and what we need to do to continue to grow in life and love.

On this Ash Wednesday, and indeed throughout the entire year, I would like to suggest something I learned from my friend Bill at Dying Man’s Daily Journal. It’s kind of a form of almgiving, one could say: practice some random act of kindness today. When driving through the toll booth, give the person a few extra bucks to pay for the guy behind you. Be creative. Be random. Be an anonymous angel. Read the many entries and comments on Bill’s blog to see what kindness really meas. Kindness is a wonderful “discipline” for Lent for both you and the people whose lives you touch.

[In responding to Jenn's query about prayer, I thought I'd just turn it into a post.]

Prayer is such a wonderfully dynamic thing. There are so many ways to have a conversation with God, to be still in his presence. One of the central ways that we Catholics pray together is through the celebration of the Eucharist. This celebration itself holds within it a great variety of ways to pray which involve spirit, mind, and body. It is at the center of our lives as Catholics.

Praying the Liturgy of the Hours is also something I love because I am in communion not only with God but with my sisters and with all who pray that way. There is a universal, deeply Catholic aspect to it that I love.

I also pray in other ways like the Examen of Consciousness. There are times when I am drawn to contemplative prayer, to being with God without words or images mediating. Those times are pure gift because they are not something I can conjure up. I can dispose myself to them through a regular habit of prayer and opening myself up to God. I also pray through nature. I have always loved the outdoors, animals, the sky, the land — all of it. I find it speaks constantly of the glory of God and the goodness of all of creation. When I’m in wilderness (even the bits of wilderness in a big city), I’m at home with my God and myself.

I pray through the day as well. I’ve got my formal times of prayer, but that doesn’t preclude praying through the day. Praying doesn’t always mean I’m addressing God about something particular, sometimes it’s like just being together as you would with a good friend. You just enjoy each other’s company. By cultivating a general openness to God, one finds that one slips in and out of prayer throughout the day. This reminds me of Saint Paul who wrote “pray without ceasing”.

I’ve been reading a book by Jim Martin, SJ, called My Life with the Saints (Loyola Press, 2006). Growing up I always thought of the saints as superhuman (not unlike Wonder Woman or Superman) … people with an extra dose of holiness who were able to do amazing things. I never really thought of them as ordinary people. Over the years I learned otherwise and have come to appreciate the saints for who they really are.

I love the Thomas Merton quote that Jim Martin uses to open his book: “For me to be a saint means to be myself.” (Would that it was always easy to be ourselves!) The saints are people who are truly themselves, the people God created them to be … with all their craziness, holiness, foibles, and insights. Saints are truly people whom we can relate to, not ones who are so superhuman that they don’t really relate to our own lives. That’s why I like My Life with the Saints. Martin presents the saints as our companions on life’s journey. We can look to them for inspiration, encouragement or even a good laugh.

As I’ve been reading this book, I’m reminded again how we encounter God in the most ordinary ways in our lives (e.g., a sock drawer … you’ll just have to read the book to see what I mean!). Just as the saints opened themselves to experience God in all things, we too are called to that same kind of openness and willingness to meet God.

Click here to read more about My Life with the Saints as well as other stuff by or about Jim Martin.