Question from Hayden …

Hi Sister Julie! First of all, I admire you so much! Nuns fascinate me so much. What an amazing spirit you have to lead a life totally for Christ. I am a Christian (Episcopal; raised Episcopal, Methodist, and went to a Church of Christ College), and desire to be closer to God every day! I do have a great relationship with Him, but sometimes think I have trouble hearing what He is telling me. Any advice? I want to learn how to really listen with an open heart and mind. I think it was fate that I even stumbled upon your blog! You are amazing!

Hayden, I’m so glad you came by for visit. Your question is an important one, one that many people including myself have wrestled with. Even Saint Teresa of Avila — a Doctor of the Church in the Roman Catholic tradition because of her teachings on prayer — struggled with prayer and listening to God.

The first thing I want to say is that your very desire to be closer to God is itself a clear indication that God is working within you, drawing you close. As Thomas Merton, the great spiritual writer and Cistercian monk, wrote in a prayer, “I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have this desire in all that I am doing.” He continued, saying, “And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.” For me, that is one of the key things to listening to God and responding to God’s call — tapping into that God-inspired desire within yourself to please God, to respond to God in love, to reverence and stand in awe of God.

One of the best ways to do this is to spend time with God as much as you can. Practice Saint Paul’s injunction that we “pray without ceasing“. That means to have a spirit of prayer in all that you do, as you go about your daily life. It also means taking time just to be with God, alone and without distraction. This can be tough to do, and it is also a very intimate and vulnerable thing to do. But just as we would in a relationship with a loved one, we grow into these moments, we’re able to behold a sunset together without words or to gaze into one another’s eyes with great love. These experiences with God nurture us and help us be more in tuned with what God’s desire is for us, what God’s voice “sounds” or “feels” like.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola teaches that there are some other specific ways to get in tune with God’s call to you and to help you better listen to and respond to God. The overall term for this is “discernment”. Ignatius developed a simple method by which you can review each day in a way that will help you grow in self-understanding and free you to follow God’s will. This practice is called the Daily Examen.

Those are just a few of my thoughts as I pray with you, Hayden, and all of us who long to draw close to God.

What ideas or thoughts does this inspire in you? What helps you to listen to God’s call to you?

I’ve just returned home after family and nun festivities and work in four different states. I had some time in Monroe, Michigan, home of my IHM Motherhouse. There’s absolutely nothing like being home with one’s nuns. Although I had some work to do, I feel renewed and encouraged. Community life is such an amazing bond — it is unlike any other relationship or way of being that I have ever experienced.

Now that I am home in Chicago, I am preparing myself for tomorrows Online Conversation with Father James Martin, SJ - rereading chapter 4 of his book My Life with the Saints. The chapter discusses part of his vocation story. Here’s a PDF of the chapter for you to read: My Life with the Saints: Chapter 4. It’s not necessary to have read it to participate in the conversation, but it may give you some ideas of stuff you’d like to ask Father Martin or talk with him about.

Here are some things I’d like to ask Father Martin about …

1) You write about Thomas Merton being asked by the Gethsemani monastery porter, “Have you come here to stay?” (page 57) When did you feel that this question was being posed to you as well? How did it feel to first get a glimpse that God might be calling you to religious life? How did you respond? What did you do with any feelings of uncertainty, fear, resistance, etc.?

2) “For me, Thomas Merton’s description of religious life was an invitation to new life” (page 59). Could you say more about this? How is religious life an invitation to new life? What did that mean for you?

3) You are so right about people (myself included when I was younger) thinking that a call from God is “something of an otherworldly experience”. What can religious, vocation ministers, parents, and parish leaders do to help people sense God’s call in the ordinary “language” of every day life?

4) How did you feel called to the Jesuit way of religious life? Were you attracted by any other kinds of religious communities?

5) How can the saints help people who are discerning a major life commitment? How about the “smaller” discernments in life?

6) What other saints have been your friends along your journey into and within religious life? why?

This conversation is for you so please ask your questions and engage with Father Martin. Feel free to pose your questions now or as we go along tomorrow. See you tomorrow morning!

Recently I added Sister Laurel O’Neal’s blog Notes from Stillsong Hermitage to my list of Blogs by Catholic Nuns. Sister Laurel graciously responded to some questions I had for her about what it is like to be a hermit.

1) How did you know God was calling you to become a hermit?

Although formerly involved active apostolates (hospital chaplaincy, clinical lab, religious ed, etc), chronic illness made those difficult, and in some ways my life just didn’t quite “make sense”.

I was struggling against myself so to speak. I needed to find a context which would allow ALL of my life to makes sense, not just the gifts, but the weakness and brokenness as well.

In 1983 canon 603 was published. It piqued my interest but did not capture my imagination. Afterall, weren’t hermits a dead breed and wasn’t contemplative life sort of a waste??? Shortly thereafter I read Thomas Merton’s Contemplation in a World of Action; in this book is a long defense of the eremitical life. Now THAT completely captured my imagination.

The short version is, I began living the life on a trial basis and found that everything came together with a kind of coherence it had not had before: writing, directing, prayer, illness, education, and a need to truly love others all worked together within an eremitical context. I discovered for the first time, a real sense of mission — which, as you know, is different from just a sense of purpose.

The eremitical life is one that I have always loved reading about (mostly the Desert Fathers and Mothers), but one that I have never personally experienced. I’ve never really explored what it means to be a hermit as a life choice. My thanks to Sister Laurel for her blog and for responding to my questions.

Be sure to visit Sister Laurel’s blog — she recently responded to the question How do you know you are staying on track? and shows how this applies not only to an urban hermit but to all of us who try to keep on track amidst life’s many distractions, responsibilities, etc.

And stay tuned as I post Sister Laurel’s responses to other questions!

UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community and Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit

I am pleased to announce that my blog will be hosting Fr. Jim Martin, SJ, for one day during his whirlwind blog tour!

On Tuesday, June 3, Fr. Martin will visit ANunsLife.org and discuss the saints and the role of the saints in our lives, especially in discerning one’s vocation. Fr. Martin is a Jesuit priest and the author of the book My Life with the Saints. Check out my post from a while back on My Life with the Saints.

How this works is that Fr. Martin will be checking in all day on my blog. I’ll create a special post for that day and start the conversation off with Fr. Martin by asking a few questions. He’ll respond via the comment section which is open for anyone to write in any questions/comments for Fr. Martin. He’s here to engage with you so please come and visit throughout the day. I’ve met Fr. Martin, heard him speak, and read his books and can tell you he is a delight! He’s someone who truly lives the Ignatian way of finding God in all things.

Since this is a blog about being a nun, religious life, and discerning God’s call, I’m going to ask my Brother Jesuit to begin with a reflection on his call to religious life and how the saints were part of his recognizing God’s call. I invite you to read a chapter of his book which deals one saint in particular who was instrumental in helping Fr. Martin discern his own call. Courtesy of Loyola Press, here is a PDF of My Life with the Saints: Chapter 4 called “The True Self: Thomas Merton.”

Loyola Press is also raffling an autographed copy of My Life with the Saints — everyone who joins the June 3 online discussion by writing in (via the comments section) is automatically entered into the raffle. Readers of ANunsLife.org will also be given a special discount code to order the book. Thanks, Loyola Press!

Please join the conversation on Tuesday, June 3, and bring your questions and ideas for Fr. Martin.

Fr. Martin will also be on blog tour at the following blogs …

• June 2: Some Have Hats
• June 3: A Nun’s Life
• June 4: The Dawn Patrol
• June 5: The Anchoress
• June 6: Happy Catholic

I’m still meditating on Nancy’s question, how can I dedicate my whole self to God?, and some of the responses I’ve received. A couple moms wrote in and talked about the desire to be more contemplative in the midst of a very active life … and the desire sometimes to want to retreat from it all and head for the woods!

As an active religious sister, I can appreciate how that feels — and I’m wondering if contemplative nuns (the sisters who are monastic and/or cloistered) ever feel this way too. Even though my life is vowed to God and everything I do is through the lens of my love for and relationship with Jesus, and my mission and life as an IHM Sister, there are often times when I just need to step away from everything into solitude, into the wilderness of the woods. For me it’s a desire to tap into my spirit and be with God alone without any words, images, sights or sounds. That space might happen on a street corner in downtown Chicago for a split second (remember Thomas Merton’s experience in Louisville at the corner of 4th and Walnut?) or it might happen while I am alone and still in the darkness of a dense forest.

Such experiences of contemplation are not really things we can “make happen” ourselves but are true gifts from God. The saints (again, my dear friend Saint Teresa of Avila) write that we can dispose ourselves to be more open to receive this gift, but ultimately it comes from God, when and how and where God wills.

What are some ways that you find a contemplative space in your hectic day/week/month?

With all of our important responsibilities — raising children, making a living, ministering to others — how do we respond to that God-given longing for solitude?

This one’s for you, Courtney, and all of us who seek to follow God’s path. 

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”  ~ Thomas Merton