In this year’s message to young people, Pope Benedict XVI reflects on the World Youth Day 2010 theme: “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Mark 10:17).

Pope Benedict XVI urged young people to follow their dreams, dedicate their talents to the common good, and grow in love and faith. The pope told the world’s young Catholics to not let life’s difficulties lead to discouragement. “Instead nurture in your heart great hopes for fraternity [sic], justice and peace. The future is in the hands of those who know how to seek and find strong convictions in life and hope,” he said in his message for World Youth Day 2010. The Vatican and most dioceses around the world will mark World Youth Day on Palm Sunday, March 28. In his message, released in Italian and French by the Vatican March 15, the pope asked young people to build a more just and fair world. Changing the world for the better does not have to mean “performing heroic or extraordinary acts, but allowing your talents and potential to bear fruit and committing yourself to constantly growing in faith and love,” he said. (source: Catholic News Service)

Pope Benedict writes that the situation facing the young person in Mark’s Gospel is one that faces all youth. He speaks of the importance of taking the time to build one’s “project of life”.

“The season of life that you are immersed in is a time of discovery: of the gifts that God has lavished upon you and of your responsibilities. It is, moreover, a time of fundamental choices to build your ‘project of life.’” The Pope urges youth not to be fearful in answering the question: “What must I do, so that my life might have full value and full meaning?” “To discover the ‘project of life’ that can make you plainly happy, start listening to God, who has a design of love for each of you,” writes the Pope. (source: Catholic News Agency)

What steps have you taken in your “project of life”? What are some of the road blocks and scenic views that you’ve encountered?

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Join Sister Julie and Sister Maxine for evening prayer at 6 p.m. CDT
at http://anunslife.org/LIVE.

“Hello Sister. I am a fifteen year old catholic girl and attending a catholic school. I feel that God is calling me to become a nun. I am planning on finishing high school and then taking to a religious life. The problem is I do not know where to go now that I know God is calling me. Can you tell me where I need to go to become a sister? Alyssa”

Hi Alyssa, Thanks for writing. Here are a few resources to check out on A Nun’s Life website:

• How to Become a Catholic Sister or Nun: a general idea of where to start, what the general logistics are, and some helpful hints from someone who’s been there and is now a Catholic sister
• Vocation Forum: a place to explore vocations to religious life

The age requirements for each community varies some. Some communities encourage you to get a college degree first. They may encourage you to “experience life” since you’ll be just out of high school. But it also depends on where you are at with your discernment, how long you’ve know the community (or other communities), etc. Even if you choose to go to college first, I’d highly encourage you to stay in touch with the community. Visit them during spring break or on weekends or whenever you have time.

Basically the first steps start with you and your discernment with God. What do you feel God is calling you to? What are you attracted to in terms of a lifestyle? How will you grow in your relationship with God and others?

In terms of the more practical “next steps” kind of thing, it is important to get to know some nuns. Have a chat with one, and see what she is like. Go to a talk by a nun. Go to mass at their motherhouse. Check out a vocation day at one of the communities. Spend some time just getting to know a community. It’s just like developing a friendship. In the meantime know that you are doing God’s will. You don’t have to wait until you decide on a particular calling. Live now how God is calling you to live. Develop (if you’ve not already) a regular rhythm of prayer, do some spiritual reading (scripture, writings of the saints, etc.), involve yourself in a ministry. Be faithful to your vocation now as a student. Remember, that too is a calling from God. If you don’t know a community of sisters, ask one of your parish leaders. Also, every diocese has a vocation office so you can check with them too and let them know what you are thinking. There are also some online vocation resources to help you along. Here are a couple:

• Vision Vocation Network
• Catholics On Call

As you get to know sisters and their communities, pay attention to how you feel, and how attracted you are to the community. Do you feel at home? Do you feel like you are growing in your relationship with God? Can you see yourself flourishing as a human being with these sisters? Keep bringing all of this to God in prayer.

There are no right or wrong steps in this journey. And they may not happen in any particular order. But this is sort of the gist of it. Let me know if you’ve got further questions or more particular ones. God bless you, Alyssa.

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Join the sisters for evening prayer tonight at 6 p.m. CST and every Monday through Thursday at http://anunslife.org/live

AS015 Ask Sister podcast recorded live on February 19, 2010. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org ministry. Topics include: possible to disappoint God?, having so many religious communities to choose from, how long discerning, retreat and vacation and more.

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

During the podcast we played a clip from Patrice Touhy of VISION Vocation Magazine and VocationMatch.com. She gave good advice on what to do if you get an overwhelming number of results using VocationMatch.com which matches persons with religious communities. The segment is included in the podcast above and also as a stand-alone audio clip below.

If you have questions about VISION Vocation Magazine or VocationMatch.com, please feel free to contact Patrice.

Subscribe to the A Nun’s Life Podcast:

Ask Sister podcast is a live podcast where you have the opportunity to engage with us and ask questions about nuns, prayer, religious life, or pretty much anything in between!

Here are some of the questions we addressed in this Ask Sister podcast:

• Will I disappoint God if I do not join religious life? And if I join, are there any series of change that will occur?
• How do I chose a religious community when there are so many choices?
• How long did you discern to become a nun?
• Is it easy for fully professed religious to change congregations? Do they start over?
• Do sisters and nuns go on vacation?
• Can sisters and nuns wear nail polish?

Do you have a question for us? Call our toll-free Voicemail Hotline at 888-703-4732 and leave a voicemail for us with your question. Be sure to give us your first name and city from where you are calling. We’ll play your message and respond on the Ask Sister podcast.

AS014 Ask Sister podcast recorded live on February 12, 2010. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org ministry. Topics include finding one’s calling, the liturgy of the hours, jury duty, age limits for becoming a Catholic Sister, immigration, and more.

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

Subscribe to the A Nun’s Life Podcast:

Ask Sister podcast is a live podcast where you have the opportunity to engage with us and ask questions about nuns, prayer, religious life, or pretty much anything in between!

Here are some of the questions we addressed in this Ask Sister podcast:

• how do I know what my real calling in life is?
• do congregations have problems taking young people because of fear of an age gap?
• what do Catholics think about the issue of illegal immigration?
• can you explain more about the Divine Office — The Liturgy of the Hours?
• do nuns have to go to jury duty?
• what’s going on with the Roman Missal?

If you have a question, please email us at sister@anunslife.org or leave a message at our voicemail feedback line: 1-888-703-4732. Messages may be played on the air!

FP004 Feature Podcast on Consecrated Life with IHM Sisters recorded live on February 7, 2010. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org ministry. Topics include World Day for Consecrated Life, vocations, discernment, Catholic sisters and nuns, prayer, and more.

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

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Today we celebrated World Day for Consecrated Life by partnering with the IHM Vocations team to offer this hour-long podcast on vocations, discernment, and the lives of Catholic sisters today. We were delighted to be joined by IHM Sisters Carol Quigley, Michele Denton, Joyce Durosko, and Mary Bea Keeley.

This Sunday marks the World Day for Consecrated Life, a day instituted by Pope John Paul II in 1997 to thank God for the gift of consecrated life and to let people know about this way of life.

To celebrate, A Nun’s Life Ministry is partnering with the IHM Sisters (of which Sister Maxine and I are both members) to host an hour-long live podcast on vocations, religious life, discerning a call, and all sorts of things! We’ll be joined by Sister Mary Bea Keeley, IHM, and Sister Carol Quigley, IHM, and perhaps more!

Join us at 4 p.m. CST (your timezone) on Sunday, February 7, 2010, here at http://anunslife.org/LIVE. We have a lively chat room that will be happening simultaneous to the podcast.

If you have questions or comments for us regarding vocations, IHM life, prayer, or pretty much anything else, please leave a message for us at our voicemail feedback line: 1-888-703-4732. Messages may be played on the air!

And in the spirit of the World Day for Consecrated Life, we invite you to do your part to promote vocations. We have a number of resources over at IHM Calling blog to help promote vocations.

So what are you going to do this week to promote vocations?

AS012 Ask Sister podcast recorded live on January 29, 2010. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org ministry. Topics include how to tell someone you have a vocation, calling a nun sweetheart, how to trust God, and more! Special guest Sister Camille Brouillard, IHM.

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

Subscribe to the A Nun’s Life Podcast:

Ask Sister podcast is a live podcast where you have the opportunity to engage with us and ask questions about nuns, prayer, religious life, or pretty much anything in between!

You can learn more about Sister Camille Brouillard on our IHM website.

Here are some of the questions we addressed in this Ask Sister podcast:

• what to say: I’m thinking about becoming a religious sister, but I don’t have anyone to talk to. I have already approached my pastor about it, but honestly, I didn’t know what to say.
• what not to say: Is it disrespectful to say “Hello sweetheart” to a nun?
• relating with God: How do I trust and love God? How do I know that I’m doing it correctly?

If you have a question, please email us at sister@anunslife.org.

When we think of a calling, we sometimes think it is only for the “religious” types, those ones who never seem to do anything wrong, who were born and bred in the Catholic Church, who speaks with ease about religious stuff. And you know, once and a while, it is that person, but God has this disconcerting habit of choosing people who are a bit rough around the edges, who might have a tendency to be wild, rash, passionate, or temperamental. One has only to look at the women and men who constituted his first disciples to see that they were a mix of people each with rough edges and great giftedness. Some weren’t even “religious” but in them Jesus recognized a spirit of dedication, kindness, zeal, compassion, perseverance — and other such gifts that were perfectly suited for being a disciple.

So what if you have a tattoo or forget the words to the Act of Contrition (my biggest fear when walking into a confessional) or are not a virgin or enjoy falling in love or want to become a rocket scientist? Think that’s incompatible with being called? Not a chance.

There is no one who is beyond God’s call and in fact every one of us does have a calling. There are lifelong callings like to be in a relationship, to be a parent, to be a missionary, to be a religious sister or brother, to be a lifelong educator. And there are callings to a kind of ministry or service such as healing, teaching, advocating, learning, praying, companioning, protecting, or encouraging. We might experience many of the latter in our lives and within our “umbrella” lifelong calling. For example, my lifelong calling is to be a religious sister, specifically to be an Immaculate Heart of Mary Sister. But within this lifelong calling, I also am called to serve in a particular way using technology and the Internet and theology and spirituality. I am also called to a particular kind of lifestyle that is sensitive to all of God’s creation.

So think about how you are called — how you are living this calling right now even if you might never have thought about it as a calling? And for those of you who thought you were “beyond help” for becoming a nun or a deacon or a monk or religious sister or a priest or a consecrated virgin … what’s blocking you?

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Join us tonight for prayer at 6 p.m. CST at http://aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

Also, Ask Sister Podcast is coming up at the end of the week. If you have questions for us, please email them to us at sister (AT) anunslife (DOT) org.

Listen to AS011 Ask Sister podcast recorded live on January 22, 2010. Sponsored by aNunsLife.org ministry with guest iconographer Sister Nancy Lee Smith, IHM. Topics include non-Catholics becoming nuns, realizing you may have a calling, and relationships.

Sister Nancy Lee Smith, IHM, is an iconographer and spoke with us about her ministry as well as her own calling to religious life. You can find out more about Sister Nancy and her ministry at Saint Joseph Studio.

Questions from listeners included:

• How important is having past relationships to discerning a call to religious life?
• How did you feel when you first started to have thoughts about becoming a nun? How did you react?
• What if you long to find love still, but still think that religious life an option?
• Is it possible to become a nun if I haven’t been Catholic my whole life?
• Are there specific rules for writing icons? What is it like to be an iconographer’s apprentice?

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

Subscribe to the A Nun’s Life Podcast:

The turn of the new year often fills us with ideas and inspirations to try something new, to set out on a new path for the new year. To those of you who have entertained (however briefly or maybe for a long time!) with the idea of becoming a sister or nun, I invite you to consider the following:

Do you long for something more, a something that just can’t seem to be filled by your current work, relationships, endeavors, etc. even though you experience these as good?

Are you interested in deepening your life of faith through prayer, ministry, and community with others who share similar values, vision, and mission?

Are you open to the Spirit and the often surprising ways the Spirit leads?

Are you attracted to the life of Jesus the Christ and to lives of saints and holy people who strove to follow Jesus and live the Gospel?

Do you wish to live and think and “be” in a way that places the common good ahead of other goods such as personal wants?

Are you able to let go of preconceived images of what religious life is or should be?

Can you accept the humanity of yourself and of sisters and nuns and at the same time trust that the Spirit is alive and well in and through our humanity?

Do you feel both attracted to and terrified of the though of religious life, wondering perhaps, why God would call you of all people?

Are you willing to use your gifts, talents, experience, energy, and passion for God’s purposes and for a common mission and life in God?

Are you up for the greatest adventure of your life?

This is your invitation, your opportunity to take a step toward responding to this call. You don’t have to have it all figured out, or rationalize it, or be without doubt or fear. That’s all part of the package. Yo are invited to take a leap of faith, trusting that though you do not know where it will lead, that God is right here with you and will lead you to good.

What do you do now? Start reading and doing any of the suggestions on our page How to Become a Nun. Say something to that sister you admire but were afraid to say anything to about your desire. If you’ve felt attracted to the mission and life of Sister Maxine, myself, or other sisters here at A Nun’s Life, then take a chance and contact us. Check out Catholics on Call. Call the vocation director of the community you’ve been thinking about. Attend a retreat or day of prayer where you can explore how your desires and attractions are part of God’s call to you.

There is only one thing left to say.

Begin.

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Please join us at 6:00 p.m. CST (your time zone) for Praying with the Sisters podcast, a ministry of A Nun’s Life. Visit aNunsLife.org/LIVE.

Listen to our last Praying with the Sisters podcast from December 31, 2009. Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

Click PLAY below or right-click here to download the MP3.

Subscribe to the A Nun’s Life Podcast:

Today is our weekly live Ask Sister podcast. This podcast is for you and is an opportunity to ask questions about nuns, prayer, religious life, or pretty much anything in between! During the live podcast we’ll respond to your questions and comments.

Questions already in the queue for today:

• How do you know if God is calling you to be a nun?
• When did nuns stop wearing the habit? After Vatican II?
• I am baptized a Baptist but I feel a strong pull toward becoming Catholic. Any advice?

Visit ANunsLife.org/live
Today
6 p.m. Central Time (your timezone)

We welcome your questions.You can send them in any number of ways:

• comment below
• email us any time before the podcast
• comment in the chat room during a live show
• calling in during a live show

In whatever way you contact us, please know that your last name, email address, and any other private information will be kept confidential. So what’s on your mind?

Listen to other Ask Sister podcasts.

Who are the most influential vocation promoters of today? YOU! That’s right, I mean you. Parents, teachers, catechists, mentors, and anyone who is in a position to encourage young people are our most treasured vocation promoters because you are in a position to mentor others and to help them see all the possibilities for their life. I would not be where I am today — educationally, spiritually, or vocationally — if it were not for the women and men in my life who expanded my horizons and helped me envision and imagine my life.

To help you help others, we pulled together the popular post How to Become a Catholic Nun into a printable format so that you can make this available to others and also to educate yourself on ways to encourage people in their attraction to religious life specifically or in their desire to discern how God is calling them. Though the post is about becoming a Catholic sister or nun, the message applies to becoming a Catholic brother or monk, and many of the suggestions are helpful for anyone discerning a calling. In the future we hope to create a similar post that is geared toward discerning a call in general.

Here is a link to How to Become a Catholic Nun PDF. (format PDF, 1.4 MB)

There are also many vocation websites out there, places that can help you discern how God is calling you. If there are other resources that we can provide you with, please let us know. If you are a “discerning individual” let us know the ways that mentors have encouraged you!

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Join the A Nun’s Life community for prayer at 6 p.m. today (your time zone). All are welcome.

We are back after an extraordinary time home at our IHM Motherhouse in Monroe, Michigan. In the midst of congregational meetings, liturgy and prayer, and socializing (we did occasionally get sleep too!), Sister Maxine and I were podcasting live from the motherhouse! Each day we had sisters join us on the air with the finale being Saturday night with Special Podcast – IHM Sisters Unplugged! We invited four brave sisters to join us on the air for a live podcast and interaction with you our online audience. In addition, we invited sisters to be present as our very first live audience! We packed the place and were so delighted to share the experience with our nuns!

So it is fitting on this Monday to celebrate our nuns with some Nunday photos courtesy of Sister Joyce Durosko, IHM, our dear friend and ministry partner!

Sister Julie (left) explains to the live audience how podcasting live works while Sister Maxine (right) briefs Sisters Marge Polys and Susan Mahalik (Go Phillies!) on what they’ll be doing.

Just a few of the many nuns who came to be part of the live “convent studio” audience! Sisters Theresa Koernke and Anne Crane are in the audience and took part in the second part of the podcast. The warm setting is the community room of the IHM Sisters who live on second floor, A wing. We are grateful for their hospitality and encouragement!

Be sure to listen to the podcast. Here’s a recording:

We talked about life as Catholic sisters, ministry, how each sister discovered and responded to her vocation, prayer, nuns swimming, dealing with doubt in the spiritual life, anchorites and the eremitical life, IHM charism and mission, entering a religious community, and lots of other things!

Sister Maxine and I are back in our own convent studio and will join you tonight for prayer at 6 p.m. Central Time (your time zone).

And we’ll be back with more NUNDAY photos and stories coming soon!

It is difficult to avoid an article with a title as compelling as this: “My life of drink and one-night stands left me feeling hollow, now I’ve found the answer: I’m going to be a nun.” After reading the article about Katie Colbran, a woman who is entering religious life, I have to say there was no poetic exaggeration in the title. It pretty much tells it like it is.

“For the past four years, I’ve led the kind of glamorous life some people only dream about…. But in just a few weeks’ time, I’ll be swapping it all for a life of quiet contemplation in a religious community in Essex. One day, hopefully about six years from now, I hope to take my vows and become Sister Katie, the Catholic nun.”

Katie, like many of us who have entered religious life, has family and friends who are shocked at what she is doing. “They have visions of me taking a vow of silence and locking myself away in a convent, or turning into the type of nun such as the ones in The Sound Of Music,” writes Katie. “They find it hard to believe that I’m turning my back on my hedonistic life in order to enter a religious community and devoting my life to God. But I don’t see it in terms of what I’m going to be losing. For me, it’s about what I’ll be gaining. I feel calmer and more peaceful than I have in years. It’s also given me a direction and a purpose that I’ve never had and never thought I would have.”

There is lots more to Katie’s story. I encourage you to read the whole article about Katie Colbran and her journey to life as a Catholic sister in the UK’s The Daily Mail, (November 5, 2009).

Katie is joining the Community of our Lady of Walsingham in Essex, England. Do visit their website and read more about Katie’s story.

After reading the stories, come on back to A Nun’s Life and let’s chat about the story. What struck you the most?

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Join us this evening for Praying with the Sisters podcast. We’re trying out an evening time slot and a slightly new format. Join us today at 6 p.m. Central Time (time zone converter). Join us at at http://anunslife.org/live.

Today’s Scripture reading from Saint Paul’s letter to the Romans is a powerful reminder that each and every one of us has a calling.

All of us, in union with Christ, form one body, and as parts of it we belong to each other. Our gifts differ according to the grace given us. If your gift is prophecy, then use it as your faith suggests; if administration, then use it for administration; if teaching, then use it for teaching. Let the preachers deliver sermons, the almsgivers give freely, the officials be diligent, and those who do works of mercy do them cheerfully.

Do not let your love be a pretense, but sincerely prefer good to evil. Love each other as much as sisters and brothers should, and have a profound respect for each other. Work for the Lord with untiring effort and with great earnestness of spirit. If you have hope, this will make you cheerful. Do not give up if trials come; and keep on praying. If any of the saints are in need you must share with them; and you should make hospitality your special care.

Bless those who persecute you: never curse them, bless them. Rejoice with those who rejoice and be sad with those in sorrow. Treat everyone with equal kindness; never be condescending but make real friends with the poor. Do not allow yourself to become self-satisfied. (Romans 12:5-16)

A vocation is not just a calling to consecrated life (such as becoming a sister or monk or deacon); a vocation is a calling to each and everyone of us to live our life fully using the gifts that God has given to us and the grace that God continually gives us. Saint Paul gives us some examples (first paragraph) and he also gives us a kind of road map to living fully (second two paragraphs). Listen to some of the key words of this road map:

prefer good to evil … love … have profound respect for people
minister with earnestness of spirit … hope … do not give up
keep praying … share … give hospitality … bless and never curse people
be in solidarity with those who rejoice or are in sorrow
treat everyone with equal kindness … make real friends with the poor

These are some of the dispositions that we can take to heart and in doing so live more fully the life God has blessed us with.

Pick one, just one, of these “landmarks” on the road map and consider how you can take it to heart each moment of this day and into the week.

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Join us for prayer using this readin today at noon Central Time at http://anunslife.org/live. Prayer is still at noon, but because of Daylight Savings Time, it may have changed for you.
Here’s the time in your neck of the woods.

]]> http://anunslife.org/2009/11/03/you-are-called/feed/ 7 http://anunslife.org/2009/10/14/teresa-of-avila-trusting-always-in-god/ http://anunslife.org/2009/10/14/teresa-of-avila-trusting-always-in-god/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:17:24 +0000 Sister Julie http://anunslife.org/?p=4064

This is the final in a series of three posts on Saint Teresa of Avila. The whole piece was originally published in VISION, the Catholic Religious Discernment Guide.

Read the first part My BFF is a 16th century nun, Teresa of Avila and the second part Teresa of Avila’s desire to give her life to God.

A leap of faith

Teresa spent a year and a half living with the nuns. Still, she resisted becoming a nun, saying, “I could not be persuaded to be one” (Life 3.2). Though obviously attracted to the life, Teresa needed time to adjust to the possibility of God calling her to religious life. Like Teresa we are often given the same challenge of imagining our life in a different way. Teresa says little about how or even if she resolved her questions, but we do know that she decided to become a nun anyway. She was able to set aside her doubts and fears and respond to God’s call.

This didn’t mean that Teresa’s life was easy once she made the decision to become a nun. Explaining her call to family and friends proved to be a challenge. Her father so loved her that he couldn’t imagine letting her leave for the convent until after he died. Nothing Teresa said or did could change his mind. But Teresa wished to remain true to the call from God. She knew herself well enough to know that if she didn’t pursue God’s call now, she might never do it. So early one morning, Teresa quietly left her father’s house for the convent: “I remember, clearly and truly, that when I left my father’s house I felt that separation so keenly that the feeling will not be greater, I think, when I die. For it seemed that every bone in my body was being sundered” (Life 4.1).

The pain which Teresa wrote about here is real. Whether it be family or friends, careers or possessions that we want to hold onto, God’s call is all-encompassing. It is a call to be open to radical change in our lives, if that’s what God asks of us.

Filled with a new joy

Teresa entered the Carmelite Monastery of the Incarnation in 1533, took the habit, and eventually professed solemn vows as a Carmelite nun. Her initial struggle gave way to a lasting joy: “[God] gave me such great happiness at being in the religious state of life that it never left me up to this day, and God changed the dryness my soul experienced into the greatest tenderness. All the things of religious life delighted me, and it is true that sometimes while sweeping, during the hours I used to spend in self-indulgence and self-adornment, I realized that I was free of all that and experienced a new joy that amazed me.” (Life 4.2)

When I first began considering religious life, I never would have imagined I’d experience this “new joy” of which Teresa wrote. But the experience of responding to God’s call and eventually professing my vows as an IHM Sister was a joy that I’d never felt before. I felt like a new person, yet more myself than ever.

Trusting in God Always

All along the way, it helped to have Teresa by my side. Today she is still very much a companion. Sometimes I turn to her writings for encouragement, other times for help in a pastoral or theological quandary. Whenever I have questions about prayer or don’t quite understand how the Spirit is moving in my life, I pray and seek guidance from Teresa. Even Teresa’s own tangles with God (once, when complaining of her suffering, Teresa heard Jesus respond, “This is how I treat my friends” to which Teresa rejoined, “No wonder you have so few!”) give me assurance that my struggles are not out of the ordinary and that there is a way through the darkness.

Although I have known Teresa for many years now, I continue to discover new things about her. Recently, I read a book of her letters. The letters reveal a woman who was deeply committed to a contemplative life but who was, of necessity, engaged in what one commentator calls “a maelstrom of activities.” Sometimes this maelstrom got the best of her. Wrote Teresa, “With so many duties and troubles … I wonder how I’m able to bear them all” (Letter 39 in The Collected Letters of St. Teresa of Avila).

As a religious I can identify with this constant balancing of prayer, ministry, and community life. It is both a joy and a challenge to live this life. Religious life calls us to our best selves and often summons strengths and gifts that we didn’t even know we had. I’m sure on more than one occasion Teresa was surprised to see how things worked out or what paths opened up that she could have hardly imagined. Perhaps some of the best advice that Teresa has ever given to me is to trust always in God, even when things are tough or unclear. She reminds me that determination is indeed a virtue and a necessity in the life of faith.

“Have great confidence,” Teresa wrote, “for it is necessary not to hold back one’s desires, but to believe in God that if we try we shall little by little, even though it may not be soon, reach the state the saints did with his help. For if they had never determined to desire and seek this state little by little in practice they would never have mounted so high.” (Life 13.2)

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What struck you about Teresa’s life and her desire to trust always in God? If you could ask Teresa anything, what would it be?

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Join Sister Maxine and me for prayer today at noon Central Time at http://anunslife.org/live.

I am delighted to announce that my community, the Immaculate Heart of Mary Sisters of Monroe, Michigan — are offering a Come & See Weekend for women who are attracted to our way of life and want to learn more about becoming an IHM Sister.

The weekend is October 23-25 and it will be hosted by Sister Mary Bea, IHM Vocation Director, and myself. All the info is below. If you have any questions or wonderings, feel free to contact Sister Mary Bea or to email me (be sure to add in the @ and . symbols of my email).

This weekend might be for you or someone you know if …

• you are a woman around 18-55 years of age who is attracted to religious life and wants to learn more about IHM Sisters
• you feel a longing to deepen your relationship with God and want to express this in a life-long commitment
• you’ve met an IHM Sister and thought, Hey, she’s pretty cool. I’d like my life to also have that same sense of joy, prayerfulness, and desire to serve others.
• you know someone who seems to have a calling to religious life and would be at home with the IHM Sisters life and mission

IHM Come and See
October 23-25, 2009
Friday 7 p.m. to Sunday 12:30 p.m.

Come to:

• Join in formal and reflective prayer with the Immaculate Heart of Mary Sisters
• Learn important tools and dimensions of a fruitful discernment
• Discover our IHM history, passion for justice, and our mission to care for creation
• Spend time in our “green” Motherhouse
• Share your stories with our wisdom figures and newly vowed sisters

Register now:

• Contact Sister Mary Bea, IHM Vocation Director, at 734-240-9820 or via email
• We can welcome up to 10 women for the Come & See Weekend
• Please register by October 16, 2009

Location:

IHM Motherhouse
610 West Elm Avenue
Monroe, Michigan 48162
www.ihmsisters.org

***

Join Sister Maxine and me for prayer today
at 12:00 p.m. noon Central Time (UTC-5)
at anunslife.org/live

Question from Veronica …

I am a 55 year old practising Catholic. Am married, 2 children are now grown up and living with my husband. Thoughts of pursuing becoming a nun has come and go. Now I feel that there is a need for me to do something, where do I go from here?

Dear Veronica, Many thanks for writing in. You are not alone! I’ve run into many women who have similar wonderings about their life and what they can do to tend to this attraction to religious life.

Becoming a Catholic sister or nun may not be an option for you due to your being currently married and your age. Since the process of becoming a nun takes about 7 years, I’m not sure that religious communities would consider the possibility unless you’ve already had a relationship with them.

Still, your attraction and your desires are real and are a calling from God. Each of us is called in some way to dedicate ourselves to God.

You might want to consider becoming an Associate or Affiliate — a lay woman (married/single) who shares in the mission and spirituality of the community but is not under vows. Lay Affiliates or Associates can also be men.  Not all congregations have associates, and those that do vary in the formation process and the degree to which associates can be involved in the life of the congregation. For a specific example of a congregation’s associate program check out the the Monroe IHM page on IHM Associates.

No matter what age you are or what state of life, there are things you can do and ways to be of service. I encourage you to think about your gifts and talents and about what you would absolutely love to do. There are so many people in need and organizations that would love your help. There are also so many ways to deepen your life of prayer and to grow closer to God. Whether in ministry or prayer, look for something that has a sense of community so that you are supported and encouraged in your work and in your life.

Let me know if what kinds of things are of interest to you in terms of prayer, ministry, and community. That way I’ll be able to offer some more specific suggestions to help.

Blessings, Veronica, and to all who have similar wonderings.

Tomorrow, Tuesday at 1 p.m. CST (time zone converter), we have two special guests coming to our LIVE podcast — Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC, Executive Director of the National Religious Vocation Conference, and Patrice Tuohy, Executive Editor of VISION Vocation Guide.

They’ll join us to discuss the newly released study on Catholic Vocations and Religious Life. This is a very important study, and if you haven’t done so already, read through the executive summary and other related resources (Mythbusters section is quite interesting).

We’ll ask them about the survey itself, its aim and who participated, and also some specifics about the survey such as what it means to create/have a “culture of vocations”. Since both guests have expertise in the field of vocations, we’ll ask them for their observations on and advice for vocation directors and people considering a vocation.

We’d like you to join us by listening and also by participating in the chat room during the live broadcast. The chat room is just for listeners of the show only and it is the place where you can interact with one another and with us. During the broadcast you can ask your questions and offer comments to our guests which Sister Maxine and I will read on the air.

How do you listen? Just come to ANunsLife.org tomorrow … there will be a post with all the info that you need.

For an email reminder tomorrow, please leave a comment below with your correct email in the box that asks for your email or email us directly (NOTE: your email address is never made public).

What do you think about the survey? What questions do you have for Patrice and Brother Paul about the survey or about vocations in general — e.g., discerning a vocation, attracting new members, the state of religious life, etc.? Let’s get a good list going!

On Wednesday we broadcast our first live podcast here at A Nun’s Life. You’ll notice a new widget on our sidebar which is an audio player for our live podcasts and past episodes. Be sure to listen to our first podcast Lying Awake Book Discussion 08-12-09.

Sister Maxine and I are in the process of creating regular podcasts–both live and pre-recorded–for the A Nun’s Life community. We’ll be exploring topics similar to what we are doing on the blog while at the same time taking full advantage of the benefits of an audio format.

We have two live podcasts already scheduled. Today at noon CST (time zone converter) we will pray The Angelus live with you. Join us for a 15-minute sacred pause at midday.

On Tuesday at 1 p.m. CST (time zone converter) next week we will be interviewing Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC, Executive Director of the National Religious Vocation Conference, and Patrice Tuohy, Executive Editor of VISION Vocation Guide. They’ll join us to discuss the newly released study on Catholic Vocations and Religious Life. This is a very important study and I encourage you to click on the link to read through the executive summary and other related resources. We’d like you to join us by listening and also submitting your questions using the comment box below or during the live broadcast there will be a chat box that you can use to ask questions.

For an email reminder for the Tuesday podcast, please leave a comment below with your correct email or email us (NOTE: your email address is never made public). We’ll give you more details this weekend about the survey and the Tuesday podcast.

The National Religious Vocations Conference (NRVC) has just released the final results of a study on the state of religious vocations in the United States. The project was commissioned by NRVC and conducted by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA).

The purpose of this study is to identify and understand who is entering religious life today and the characteristics of the religious institutes that are receiving and retaining new members. No study on religious vocations on this scale has ever been done before.  The goal of this research is to highlight the best practices in vocation promotion and religious formation. (source: Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC, for NRVC)

Here is the key information:

2009 NRVC/CARA Study on Recent Vocations – full study and results available as PDF download (406 pages)

Executive Summary — overview of the study, its impetus, phases, and major findings which are categorized under the following: Religious Life Today, Attraction to Religious Life and to a Particular Religious Institute, Vocation Promotion and Discernment Programs, Evaluation of Religious Institutes, Most Rewarding and Satisfying Aspects of Religious Life, Hope for the Future, and Best Practices in Vocation Ministry

Best Practices — summary of best practices for promoting vocations: Being Proactive about Vocations, Creating a Culture of Vocations, Vocation Director and/or Team, Use of Media for Vocation Promotion, Discernment Programs, and Targeting Age Groups

History of the Study — project background

Mythbusters — ten myths about religious life and the facts from the new study that dispel them

Other Resources – resources for media and other information on vocations

I am just beginning to sort through all the information and will write more as I learn more. For other info on the study, see the following:

• Laurie Goodstein, New Nuns and Priests Seen Opting for Tradition in The New York Times (August 10, 2009)
• Landmark Study on U.S. Catholic Vocations Reveals Dramatic Changes (NRVC Press Release)

Celibacy is a way of life for Catholic sisters and nuns as well as for religious brothers and monks. But what is celibacy and how does one live celibacy, especially in a society that can be both sex-obsessed and a bit prudish about sex?

Before talking about celibacy, I think it’s important to point out that celibacy is not a condemnation or rejection of sex. And celibacy (as well as sex) relates to a lot more than the physical act of having sex. “Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others. (Catechism) Also important to note is that there is a difference between celibacy and chastity.

Okay, so celibacy. I’m responding in part from a reader’s email asking for a post on celibacy — not just an “academic” approach to what it is but sisters’ own personal witness to the celibate life.

As she noted, it’s not all that often that we celibate folks talk about it from a personal standpoint. I think mostly that’s because it is has to do with one’s sexuality and is indeed personal. Still, since celibacy isn’t mainstream, I think it’s important that we do talk about it with some degree of candor while also respecting personal boundaries. I was blessed to have a couple nuns whom I could ask any thing and it was through their own experience and witness to celibacy that I could find answers to my own questions and carve out a way of understanding what God’s particular call to me.

The only thing I knew about celibacy in religious life, prior to knowing my nuns, is that it meant NO SEX. It was something that was half-admired, but also half-mocked. Are nuns celibate because they “can’t get a guy” or because they are sexually repressed? Is it a special calling for only the holiest of holies? Does God give nuns a gift of not having sexual urges? None of those things particularly appealed to me or applied to me (I did not imagine myself to be particularly holy) so I never thought that lifelong celibacy would be my particular calling.

In grad school when I first began thinking about religious life (and resisted being attracted to it) I got to know more religious — women and men who were celibate. They didn’t strike me as repressed people and seemed to have a healthy sense of self and other. They were not “holier than thou” people, just ordinary women and men serving God.

Long story short, I became more open to the idea of celibacy and now I’m celibate for life.

My witness to celibacy is more than just not having sex, it’s about being free. An important “ah-ha!” moment was watching Dead Man Walking and the scene where Sister Helen Prejean talks about why she became a nun and chose not to be married. There was a sense that her not being attached to one single person or one single family allowed her to be free to go where the needs were. It made a huge impression on me. I began to realize that as big of a deal it was to commit to no sex it was a bigger deal to commit to the positive life stance of being free to serve wherever God called.

I know you probably have some questions so I’ll end here with this quote:

“Life is not all about sex.”

Samantha (Kim Cattrall) in a Sex in the City episode

Every religious congregation and diocese has Vocation Directors, that is, persons whose primary ministry is to reach out to people discerning their calling and to help them see if they are called to that particular community or diocese. In religious life, a Vocation Director is there to help you get to know the community, to introduce you to and facilitate connections to other sisters or brothers in the community. She or he is also the one who gets to know you, where you are from, what your story is, what attracts you to God, to religious life, and to that particular community.

For those of you who are discerning, it can feel like a huge step to make Official Contact (begin dramatic music) with a religious congregation. I remember how terrified and exhilarated I felt the first time I made contact (yes, it felt a little like Richard Dreyfuss’s character in Close Encounters of the Third Kind) with our IHM Vocation Director. It was not because she or any of the nuns were alien-esque but rather it was something happening within me. I was actually making concrete, publicly articulating this desire that was welling up in me … a desire that I still struggled to put coherent words on.

Some of my fears about contacting a Vocation Director had to do with thinking I was “signing on the dotted line”. I didn’t know that the Vocation Director was there to help me discern, give me more data for my research, help me to get to know the community. I didn’t know that she held both the community’s best interests and my best interests at heart. I was also afraid that as she got to know me, she’d find out I wasn’t all that holy or nunly (whatever I thought that meant!).

The very act of making contact was for me a real help in my discernment because I had to trust God and really believe that the Spirit was working within me. It was like my secret was finally going to be out in the open which was not only terrifying but kind of a relief. I didn’t know what would come of all that but I knew that if I didn’t respond to this nudging of God’s Spirit (no matter how crazy it all seemed to me) then I might miss something. I could never have dreamed that that little nudging would end up in the life I experience now as an IHM Sister dedicated to the liberating mission of Jesus.

I came to value and rely on the relationship that I had with my Vocation Directors (I had two, not because I was a handful … or was it? … but because one was at the end of her term and the new one was beginning). One of the most important things they did for me was to help me to get to know other sisters and to have others get to know me. That was foundational for me and to this day I continue those ever-deepening relationships. My directors and the nuns I met sustained me as I went through the ups and downs of discernment. They let me know that I was welcome and wanted and also that I was free to do what God called me to do, even if it meant not staying.

For those of you considering religious life, what’s your experience of “making contact”? or even just considering making contact? For others, have you ever had this kind of experience of “making contact” in which you made public a desire that you were still in the midst of trying to make sense of?

If you’d like more info about discernment and calling, check out Vocation Forum, Catholics on Call, and Vocation Match.

These days you can not only adopt children and animals but you can adopt highways, platoons, watersheds, and even microbes!

Now you can adopt candidates for religious life and ordained life! Thanks to an email from Jerri, I discovered that the Diocese of Joliet-in-Illinois as well as dioceses across the country have programs to encourage vocations to consecrated life and to support those who are in the process of becoming a religious or ordained. Jerri says that for the past couple weeks, there’s been an blurb about the program in the bulletin. It reads in part:

ADOPT A SEMINARIAN OR CANDIDATE PROGRAM: This program is an opportunity for the youth group, school, religious education class or parish to adopt a seminarian (a man who is studying to be a priest) or a candidate (a woman preparing to be a sister), and encourage them on their journey by writing letters. This type of encouragement would be greatly appreciated by the men and women in formation.

After receiving Jerri’s email I did some more searching around and found a recent article on the subject from Catholic News Service. “Programs to ‘adopt’ women in formation seen as vocations aid” by Jackie Taylor (March 23, 2009) has some more examples of how the program works and its benefits for both the adopters and the adoptees.

My only caveat to this wonderful program is that I wish it also encouraged vocations for men to religious life as well as other Church vocations like consecrated virginity and hermit life.

When vocations are promoted, we sometimes only focus on religious life for women and priesthood for men, as if two gender-based versions of the same calling. Not so. Ordained life is a distinct calling and can be to the priesthood or to become a deacon. Both forms of ordained life are restricted to men.

Religious life is a very different calling and it is open to both men and women. It includes sisters, nuns, friars, monks, brothers. In addition there are hermits and consecrated virgins — not sure if they technically fall in the “religious life” category but all of these are considered forms of “consecrated life.”

So in the ideal world, we’d have a parish bulletin with the headline “The Adopt-a-Sister-Friar-Priest-Hermit-Monk-Deacon-Nun-Virgin-Brother Program” but who would ever want to title something like that!!??

Hmmm … anyone interested in an Adopt-A-Nun’s-Life program?

Kudos to Sister Mary Alternative (an Episcopalian woman considering religious life) for starting this post: “You may be a nun if …” Here are some of her responses that I love!

You may be a nun if …

• you see nuns everywhere you go
• you see nuns so often that now even your friends are seeing them in airports and stuff
• you have the book of common prayer online version saved to your favorites on the blackberry

Here’s a few more from personal experience:

• have vocation/nun material hidden where no one can find it
• you want nothing to do with the idea of being a nun, but yet you find it strangely compelling too
• you know what it’s like to fall in love with a person or a lifework yet it feels like all the pieces aren’t quite together yet … something is missing
• you regularly engage in “nun surveillance“

How would you finish this sentence? “You may be a nun if … “

I am home in Monroe at our IHM Motherhouse. It’s a delightful day, the birds are chirping, the sky is blue, and so many budding trees and flowers! My nuns showed me a place in our cloister where a robin has taken up nest in the crook of tree. This morning I peeked in (you can look into the nest from the hallway window on the main floor) and saw the perfect, little blue eggs. Have not seen Mama Robin yet but I’m sure she was close by!

This weekend is our IHM Come and See, an opportunity for women to spend time with us who are discerning religious life. I’ve had the privilege of hanging out with one young woman since Wednesday getting to know her and showing her around. This afternoon Sister Maxine and I will be working on our 45 minutes of fame — an intro to and discussion about our founding charism and the story of how IHM came to be. Then tonight the women will come to our home and see what we are all about!

It’s kinda wild to do this Come and See because it reminds me of how it feels when I introduced a boyfriend to my friends or family. You want so much for them to love him and see the beauty in him that you see all the time! At the same time you want to let them come to know the guy in their own way. Sigh.

For now I’m off to hang out with my girl and maybe go for a walk and visit our iconographer’s studio!

The question about the habit being the answer to vocations recruitment comes up every now and again on the blog in various forms. It’s an interesting question that is way more complex than a simple “yes” or “no” can account for. Hilary well articulates this question in a comment on Why is a nun’s habit called a “habit”? Hilary writes:

Nuns are practically invisible nowadays, even in my very Catholic area, which is probably part of the reason why more women are not becoming nuns and even do not realize that that is an option. Perhaps if more orders wore some sort of habit – not necessarily the full, traditional habit – to distinguish them, to make them visible to the public, more young people would answer a call to vocation?

A couple different ways to look at this … one would be to look at the visibility issue by looking at priests, for example, who are clearly dressed as priests during liturgical events and often in other settings. One might say they are clearly visible yet why are U.S. seminaries not overflowing?

Another way to look at this is to consider the Internet. In this day and age, it is possible to get bounds of information about any subject (provided one has access to the Internet). One can easily, “visibly” find any number of Catholic sisters, nuns, brothers, priests, monks, friars, deacons, hermits, consecrated virgins, etc. There is more information accessible to a larger number of people than ever. Yet seminaries and houses of formation are not overflowing — of course that begs the question, do they need to be? Is quantity what we are aiming for here?

What do you think? Is the habit the answer to vocations recruitment? Are there other other ways that the issue of “visibility” could be addressed?

Question from Janelle …

Hi Sister Julie, I am considering becoming a nun because I think God might be calling me. Right now I am only in high school but I thought I should look in to the religious life. All my life I have thought about becoming a Chef and have loved to cook. I also love to help people but the problem is I can’t stand blood or needles and I don’t think I would like to be a teacher. I know being a nurse or a teacher is the most common things nuns do. I think by learning more about what nuns do and praying a lot I can decide whether or not God is calling me to that life. So I was wondering what other things do nuns do? – Janelle

Dear Janelle, Thank you for writing. Being in high school is a good time to see what religious life and being a nun are all about. It’s also a good time to explore your talents and your dreams of what you’d like to be and do in life.

In terms of religious life, you are already beginning to get to know about religious life and nuns just by visiting A Nun’s Life! I encourage you to also “run into” sisters or nuns in your parish or local community. See #2 of How to Become a Catholic Nun — Meet Nuns (includes how to do nun surveillance).

If you love to cook and want to learn to be a chef, I say go for it! Remember that the gifts and attractions that you have (such as loving to cook) are also God-given and are as much a part of your vocation as a choice of a life commitment.

Now, can you be a chef and a nun? Absolutely! I for one would volunteer immediately to live on mission with you! Traditionally teaching and nursing have been common ministries for Catholic sisters, and these are still two important ways we continue to serve God and God’s people. But we are also involved in many other kinds of work that span careers both within the Church and in non-Church spheres such as medicine, law, publishing, advocacy, social services, policy, etc.

It depends partly on the particular mission of a religious community. Sometimes the mission is focused on caring for children, for example. So all of the ministries of the sisters somehow will reflect that mission. But it could mean being a court advocate for orphans, or tutoring the children of migrant workers, or teaching children how to choose and prepare healthy meals! If you choose to become a chef, there will be many ways that your training will be invaluable as a form of ministry. If you are considering a cloistered community, a chef-nun might be invited to run the monastery kitchen or to work with the monastery’s “store” (e.g. monasteries that make bread, beer, cheese, etc. to sell). I’m not a cloistered nun so I’m not sure how exactly they would work this, but I’m sure that whatever gifts a woman comes with, there will be a way to use those gifts.

So the upshot is that nuns can pretty much do anything that serves the mission of their community. You may find that because of your gifts and attractions that a particular community resonates more with you. That’s why it’s good to explore a variety of religious communities. The Holy Spirit will be with you all the way, guiding you and helping you to embrace your call, whatever it may be.

Finally, I encourage you to check out the Vocation Forum here at A Nun’s Life. It’s a place to hang out with others who are considering religious life or thinking about their life’s vocation.

The January-March 2009 issue of Vocations and Prayer, the Catholic magazine on vocation ministry, features an article on people with hearing impairments pursuing a call to religious or priestly life. Many people have asked me about this and about having other disabilities or impairments. It’s an important issue which vocation ministers and other church leaders need to be aware of and to find ways to support and encourage.

The main article in Vocations and Prayer is “God Created Me a Deaf Person for His Glory: An interview with Fr. Tom Coughlin, OP Miss” by Sister Lou Ella Hickman, IWBS. In the interview, Father Tom tells of being turned down by several seminaries because of his hearing impairment. He eventually was accepted but faced a lot of opposition. He says,

Most people were not prepared to welcome a deaf person. I was all alone but the vocation director … told me “You have to open the door. You have to suffer so others won’t.”

Father Tom, with the encouragement of Father Timothy Radcliffe (former general master of the Dominicans), started a new Dominican community for people who are deaf. The community, called the Dominican Missionaries, has grown to 9 members.

While it’s not easy to pursue a religious vocation when you are deaf, there are resources out there. These are the ones listed in the magazine:

Religious Communities for Women

• Sisters of Saint Joseph of Carondelet, Saint Louis Province (interestingly, this community came from France to the US in order to teach persons who are deaf.)
• Sisters of the Lamb of God

Religious Communities for Men

• Dominican Missionaries
• Oblates of Saint Francis de Sales, Toledo-Detroit Province
• Redemptorists, Denver Province
• Redemptorists, Baltimore Province

Diocesan Seminaries

• Saint Patrick’s Seminary and University
• Saint Joseph Seminary College

If you know of any religious communities of sisters or nuns that can be a good resource for women who are deaf considering religious life, please let us know!

Come and see is an invitation we hear in the Gospels addressed to people who feel an attraction to, people who are drawn by the Gospel and the lifestyle of Jesus. It’s an invitation that the Catholic Church echoes as it invites people to take a personal look at a call to follow Jesus through religious life.

Until you’ve had the opportunity to experience a religious community through individual sisters or brothers, at prayer, in ministry, or by interacting with a group of sisters or brothers, it can be difficult to get a feel for what religious life is like, and also to which particular community you are called.

My IHM community is hosting a “Come and See” weekend for women who are thinking about religious life and are attracted to the IHM life and mission.

“Come and See” Weekend

Date: May 1-3, 2009
Time: Friday 7 p.m. to Sunday 12:30 p.m.
Location: IHM Motherhouse, Monroe, Michigan

There will be opportunities to pray with my IHM nuns, chat with us, learn about us and about discernment, and just hang out with us.

For more information or to register, please contact Sister Mary Bea at 734-240-9820. And as always, feel free to contact me if you have any wonderings.

Today’s Nunday has an honorary nun guest — Brother Chris Valka, CSB, of the Congregation of Saint Basil. And yes, we have his picture! Chris recently spoke on Faith in Cyber Communities at St. Joseph’s College, University of Alberta, and was written up in the Western Catholic Reporter.

Valka presented historical highlights of the Church’s mostly positive views on communications.

“History not only gives us perspective, but it also conveys the optimistic stance the Church takes towards media. The Church has never seen the media as an obstacle,” he said.

People who cannot find answers at the institutional Church of brick and mortar are searching for answers in other places, including the cyber community. This gives people worldwide a place to gather and ask life’s tough questions. In spite of the great distance between them, they can debate, discuss and live out the answers.

Be sure to read Brother Chris’s other observations and ideas about new media and the Catholic Church in the article New media can break through barriers.

I had the pleasure of meeting Brother Chris back in 2007 when he interviewed me for his podcast series Conversations with Macrina:

A Discussion About Religious Life (June 23, 2007)

What do you think we religious should be doing online? Would you like us to do more with new media such as podcasts, live discussions, etc.? Give me some ideas about what would interest you, what you think would be helpful to people.

Discerning a call to become a Catholic sister or nun can be challenging enough (who me, Lord??) but figuring out how to break the news to family and friends is a whole other challenge.

I recently received a question about how to break the news to one’s parents. Here it is in part.

I am very nervous about how they will take the news because becoming a sister is something so radical compared to even what I wanted for myself for years! …. With discussions of college and my future happening at home every day, I feel like I’m pretending to be something I’m not, but I have absolutely no idea how to go about breaking the news…. They know I am incredibly Catholic and I have the reputation as being the most religious in the family, but I am still afraid my news will shock and possibly disappoint them. I know I will eventually have their support, but it is their understanding I crave and I am afraid that that will not happen. When you told your parents, did you tell them suddenly and all at once? Did you sit down at dinner and say “HEY GUESS WHAT! I’m going to be a nun and serve our LORD and our GOD!” or did you do it in small doses, making small hints until they finally guessed it for themselves?

It can be very difficult to put into words one’s call, because you’re probably still figuring it out for yourself and trying to live into what it might mean for your life and future. To actually articulate this to someone else, especially someone whom you love and don’t want to disappoint, can be a real challenge. Even if others are familiar with religious life, it is usually a bit of a jolt for them to think that you — their child, their best friend, their sibling — are thinking about it for real.

Because I was away at college, I could pursue my call without worrying that my family would find out. Even though I was surrounded by religious and seminarians at my theology school, I still didn’t say much about my own possible call because I was still shocked myself. And, I wasn’t sure how it would affect my relationship with them. Would they treat me differently? Or, if I decided not to become a nun, would they be disappointed? Or what if I fell in love in the midst of discerning? How awkward would that be?!

As for my parents and family, I waited until I was sure that this was something that I was going to do. I wanted to get to a place within myself that I could feel strong and know how to talk about my feelings and this sense of call. I wanted to know within myself that even if my family never “got” what I wanted to do, that I’d still be okay with it, albeit a bit sad. I talked a lot with my IHM mentors about how to approach my parents. And I talked first with my sister and brother about it because I knew I’d get the straight-up-without-ice response from them — as well as their love and support.

It wasn’t easy letting my parents and others know. They had a LOT of questions which I wasn’t always sure how to answer. Some wondered if I was being brainwashed, others if I was heartbroken from my last relationship. Some thought I was too young. Almost all feared that I was “limiting” myself, that I was somehow boxing myself in. They feared that I was going to become less of myself — or not myself at all.

Even though I tried to reassure them that become a nun was the most freeing thing I’d ever done, that it was helping me to become more myself, they just didn’t know for sure until they saw me live into it. They saw that I still told the same stupid jokes, that I still loved to hike and feed the chickadees, and that I still loved them dearly.

There’s no easy way to tell family and friends, but remember that this is your call and that just as much as God is leading you, God is also working in your family and friends’ lives too. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and your call when you begin to talk about it with others because they’ll have tons of questions for you, and probably a few challenges. Hang in there with them, and hang in there with yourself. Know that my prayers are with you.

I’d love to hear from others about how they broke the news. Also, any parents or friends out there who have had the experience of being told that a loved one wishes to become a nun? How did you experience hearing the news for the first time?

In response to my post about the movie Nun of That, Sister Louise O’Rourke, PDDM, sent me a link to a video she created following a 2-week intensive course of video production in 2004. Sister Louise is a Catholic sister of the Pious Disciples of the Divine Master based in Ireland.

Sister Louise’s goal in creating the video was to challenge the stereotypes of young people toward religious and vice-versa. I think she did a great job. Sister notes that not only is she a real sister, but she did all her own stunts! Also, she notes to ignore the 1st minute of the video as it was the first video exercise she had to do.

Excellent job, Sister Louise! Thank you for sending this. You show that nuns are real people who are dedicated to God and who live and minister as film producers or ninjas while at the same time being contemplative, relevant, joyful, smart women of faith.

Today is the World Day for Consecrated Life. It was initiated by the Vatican in 1997 and is an opportunity to celebrate the life and work of women and men religious and to pray for vocations to consecrated life.

In a recent news release, Cardinal Sean O’Malley, OFM Cap., chairman of the U.S. Bishops’ Committee on Clergy, Consecrated Life and Vocations, noted that “We Americans owe a huge debt of gratitude to the religious in our nation. Their loyal service to our church and country are unparalleled…. The presence of both apostolic and cloistered religious in our nation has been a source of spiritual comfort to many people, Catholic and non-Catholic alike. I don’t know of any other country that can make such a boast.”

A Nun’s Life is participating in today’s celebration by hosting a “social hour” with people discerning God’s call and with a guest blog post at From the Pews in the Back.

1. The social hour is on the Vocation Forum at 8 p.m. EST tonight. All are welcome. To participate in the discussion, you have to be a member of the forum (free and easy to register). Once you are a member, look for the topic “February 8 Social Hour” in the discussion area. Also, I put together some Suggestions for a “Live” Discussion.
2. On the blog From the Pews in the Back I wrote a post today called For the Sake of the Gospel. It’s based on the Sunday readings and talks about my own experience of being called to consecrated life. Stop by and offer your comments.

Have a blessed day!

Is God really calling me? How do I figure out what God is trying to say to me? Am I the only one who feels this way?

If you have some of these questions, especially if you are kinda, sorta attracted to (but simultaneously terrified of) a call to consecrated life in the Catholic Church, then the Vocation Forum is for you. What is the Vocation Forum, you ask? It’s a discussion area for people who are discerning God’s call in their life. It’s a place to share vocation resources and questions with other discerners. It’s a fairly new forum and one that we hope will grow and continue to be a welcoming, supportive place for people discerning. Got a friend or daughter or coworker who is thinking about religious life or wondering what their call is? Send them over to the Vocation Forum.

Occasionally I or my nun Sister Maxine Kollasch, IHM, will be on the forum to support you and to figure out any weird technical issues, but mainly this is your place, your conversation.

Not sure if this is for you? Well, give it a shot. A good way to get to know the forum will be at our live “social hour” this Sunday, February 8, 2009, at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time. It’s an opportunity to get to know others and to discuss thoughts and questions around discerning God’s call.

You need to be a member of the forum to participate, but not to worry, membership is free and easy to do. If you have any questions, just let me know. Feel free to comment below. Also, if you have any other requests or suggestions around how A Nun’s Life can help with vocational questions, issues, etc. please let us know!

And if you’d like to check out other resources that help in discerning your calling, visit Catholics on Call or VISION Vocation website.

Rev. Michael A. Renninger and the Catholic Diocese of Richmond are doing some innovative vocation work on online. Behind the Collar is a website where people can have “an inside look at life as a priest”. Father Renninger, the diocesan vicar for vocations, worked with an advertising agency to develop a campaign to be present online to young men who are discerning a vocation to the priesthood and to give a “behind the scenes” look at the life as a priest.

Behind the Collar features an array of social media in order to give young men multiple doors through which to learn about a vocation to the priesthood. There are videos and podcasts of informal chats between “Father Mike” (as he’s known online) and seminarians discussing priestly life, family reactions, celibacy and more. There are links to Behind the Collar on the social networking sites Facebook and MySpace. And there are frequently asked questions about become a priest.

The website is a very good example being present to young people online and using the media and language that young people are familiar with. Kudos to the Diocese of Richmond! My prayers are with you.

Learn more at the Behind the Collar website and also in a recent article in the Richmond Times, Online campaign helps recruit priests in Virginia.

Are you thinking about becoming a Catholic sister or nun or perhaps a monk or priest? Maybe you’ve got questions about figuring out God’s call and you’d like to hang out and talk with others who have similar questions and experiences.

If so, I encourage you to check out the Vocation Forum, a place for discerners to gather together and talk about what is important to them. I visit the forum now and again along with my nun Sister Maxine Kollasch, IHM, as behind-the-scenes administrators, but the discussion is for you, the discerners.

In the forum, you’ll be able to use an alias, set up a profile, converse with others around topics that are on your mind and heart, and keep track of what you’ve written about your vocation journey.

On February 8, 2009, at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, we’ll be having a “social hour” in the vocation discussion area for those who are members (membership is free and easy to do). And what a good day for a vocation gathering, as one of the forum members pointed out — It’s World Day for Consecrated Life!

You can always access the forum by clicking on the top menu of this blog or by going to www.VocationForum.org.

I would like to introduce you to my nun, Sister Jill Kress, IHM. Sister Jill is a novice with my congregation, the IHM Sisters of Monroe. She was recently interviewed by the Michigan Catholic newspaper. She address important issues for all discerners. You can read the interview at IHMcalling.org.

Back in November 2008, Sister Jill did a video in response to a question from an A Nun’s Life reader, part of the series Your questions. IHM Sisters respond. Here’s the video in which Sister Jill responds toa vocation question:

What special advice would you have for someone who is an only child and wants to become a Sister?

Every person is called by God, and that means you too! Sometimes this call is best expressed through a life of marriage and parenthood, and other times through consecrated life such as being a Catholic sister or a monk or a deacon. God also calls us in other ways, such as to this or that relationship or job or ministry. No matter who you are, no matter what creed you profess, no matter your history or how you are living right now, you are called.

It can be both exhilarating and perhaps a bit spooky to know that is calling you (yes, you). The spooky part (for me anyways) came from my fear that God had one expectation for my life and if I didn’t figure it out I was screwed. But I’ve realized that’s not the case at all. God’s desire for us is always goodness, that which helps us to best be us and to best relate to God and to serve our community (be it our family, neighborhood, country or universe). There can be many ways to live out God’s call. I’ve also realized that we’re not stuck trying to figure things out by ourselves. God’s Spirit is right there with us, guiding and nudging us along, in sometimes unexpected ways.

Take a listen again to yesterday’s “nuncast” podcast with Sister Pat. She said some pretty powerful things about being called by God and what God’s desire is for us.

If you are sort of, kind of, maybe but not really, thinking about religious life, why not give it a shot and check it out. And if I can help in any way, drop me an email and I’d be glad to listen and help out.

Also, check out the Vocation Forum on A Nun’s Life. You just might find others like yourself who have questions and who are open to exploring how God is working in their life.

How is God calling you?

Today we have the pleasure of welcoming Sister Patricia Farrell, OP, a San Rafael Dominican Sister, to A Nun’s Life. Sister Pat was my gracious host while I was on a recent trip to San Francisco. While in San Francisco, Sister Pat and I sat down for a chat about her life and ministry as a Catholic nun. Sister Pat is a Promoter of Preaching and the Vocation Director for the San Rafael Dominicans.

Enjoy this A Nun’s Life Podcast! The play button is at the end of this post. Among other things, you’ll hear about nuns preaching, Saint Catherine of Siena, stories of Sister Pat’s sisters, and Sister Pat’s advice to young people thinking about religious life.

To learn more about the San Rafael Dominicans or to contact Sister Pat, check out the following:

Sister Pat’s blog – OPreach.org

Sister Pat’s community – San Rafael Dominican Sisters

And if you have any questions for Sister Pat or for me, feel free to comment below!

The calling to be a nun is a pretty amazing thing. It’s a real adventure because it is always full of twists and turns and the unexpected. You never know where the Spirit will lead you. Being a nun is also pretty countercultural — we live in community, we hold all things in common, and we are celibate — all these things are meant to help us be free, free to serve God and God’s people. It’s a radical way of life.

Sometimes it’s difficult to know if what you feel is really real until you begin to act on it, test it out. Keep this desire in your prayers and take some steps to see what being a nun is like. Read a book about or by a nun, go on retreat at a convent, or get to know some sisters. Also, it’s okay to want to think about becoming a nun but also feeling bummed out about being a wife and mom. Any life choice a person makes involves some kind of sacrifice — doesn’t mean that a nun wouldn’t have made a wonderful mom or wife. This is definitely something that is good to pray on and begin to talk with a spiritual director about.

For some people, the call is crystal clear. For others, like myself, it’s a process of trying it out, testing it, and ultimately living into it to see if that is where God is calling me. I think it becomes clear when you feel like it is as natural as breathing air, that it just “fits” with you. When you feel like you are living fully into who God calls you to be and feel like you are growing and able to use your gifts and talents for the good of God, the Church and the world. For me there was no precise moment or flash in the sky, it’s just that I grew into it and was at peace, even though I doubted, struggled, resisted, yelled … there was always this undercurrent of peace.

I personally never wanted to be a nun. It was the kind of thing that snuck up on me. I resisted and resisted because I wanted to be married and have a family. But the more I considered religious life, the more it just seemed to fit me. I tested it out, even when I wasn’t totally sure. What I found was that learning about religious life and getting to know sisters helped me to sort of try it on and begin to imagine my self as a sister and see if it was really something God was calling me to. There was a lot of uncertainty, but also a lot of peace. It took time time for me to grow into God’s call for me. Over time a lot of questions were ones that I was able to live with — and be happy with.

If you are thinking about becoming a nun or are discerning any major life decision, find ways to test it out and don’t be discouraged if things are unclear or unsettling for a bit. Hang in there and know that the Spirit is with you and is guiding you. If you’d like to hang out with others who are discerning, do stop by Vocation Forum. Or for more info you might stop by Vision vocation network or Catholics on Call.

Blessings!

Nunday is here! And we’ve got some cool stuff today. The Oblate Sisters of Providence are featured in the December 2008 issue of Ebony magazine! RUN, don’t walk, to your nearest convenience store and pick up a copy! The story and photos are fabulous.

The article is called “Walking with God” and was written by Kevin Chappell with photos by André F. Chung. The article starts with the single sentence paragraph: “At first, Virginie Fish ignored Him.” The story goes on to tell a bit about Sister Virginie’s vocation story, mentioning that she has now been a sister for 62+ years of which Virginie says, “It is a life of excitement, adventure, dedication.”

The article goes through some of the history of the Oblate Sisters of Providence and where they are ministering today. My friend Sister Marcia Hall, OSP, is also featured in the article. Sister Marcia is a former sociology professor who joined the Oblate Sisters 10 years ago. Says Sister Marcia, “I feel very strongly that I was called to be here, called to do the work that I am doing now.” Sister Marcia is now the vocation director for the Oblate Sisters of Providence.

Of the many questions that you folks asked of my IHM Sisters
(see Nun Questions) this one was one of the more difficult ones.

Have you ever experienced something that made you re-evaluate your vocation? How did you overcome that experience? (from mjpss)

It is a very good and important question, but I wasn’t sure that anyone would want to spontaneously answer the question — let alone on video camera! I think it’s a question that many people have on their minds, especially as they consider a vocation to religious life.

I am happy to say I was proven wrong because one of my IHM Sisters did step up and take this question on. I’ve watched this video at least a dozen times and am still blown away.

Sister Candyce Rekart, IHM, is a Catholic nun belonging to the Immaculate Heart of Mary congregation. Sister Candyce is a clinical psychologist ministering at Clinica de Salud Mental Inc. in Puerto Rico.

Question from Jess …

Hi Sister, Do you feel lonely as a nun? Do you feel lonely not having a family and how do you deal with it? The call to be single and without family is pretty huge. How do you cope?

I’ve written a little about feeling lonely and being a nun at Do Nuns Ever Feel Lonely? I also asked Sister Laurel, about being a hermit and experiencing loneliness. The loneliness, in many ways, is no different than the loneliness that one feels as a single person, as a person in a committed relationship, or as a married person. Loneliness for me has to do with that part of me that only God can fill. Sometimes I try to fill it with things that are not God – other relationships, my work, various distractions, etc. These things in themselves are not bad or wrong, but when I put them in the place that God alone can fill, then I’m the one who suffers that feeling of loneliness because I’ve placed things in between God and myself.

Now in terms of being a nun or being a single person, there is another kind of loneliness – the loneliness of not having an exclusive and committed partner, that one person who is there for you in all ways, the person you come home to and share your life with. In my 10+ years as a religious, I certainly have felt this kind of loneliness or longing for that one person – often it is a fleeting feeling, something that pops up after seeing a mushy romance flick or seeing the beautiful ways that couples I know live and grow together in love. But for me it’s not a bad feeling or one that causes me regret. The reason is because I am at home in my vocation and in my IHM community. I am at home with God. It’s okay to feel like, wow what would it have been like if I had married so-and-so? What would it be like to give birth, to hold my own child? I can reflect on these, maybe grieve them a bit, but I always return to the joy and delight in the life that I have chosen by the grace of God. I delight in my nephews and the children of my family and friends. I rejoice in the hospitality and love shown to me by my family’s families and my friend’s families. It’s not the same as having your own, true. But for me, it is enough.

A nun’s singleness is different from a single person’s singleness. Catholic sisters and nuns are called into a life of community. Our common life – sharing all finances, possessions, mission, gifts, etc. I have my wonderful Vieira family – parents, siblings, assorted relatives – and I have my IHM family. These are women with whom I vow to live for God through our particular charism and way of life. They are companions on the journey with me, there with me in good times and bad.

Though single people do not have a built-in community like nuns do, I think it would be important to have people around you that share in your vocation and that can support and encourage you. If you feel called to lifelong singlehood as a vocation from God, I encourage you to seek a spiritual director who can help you discern and authentically and joyfully live this call. As with all vocations, it is not without its struggles but it also has its joys and adventures!

Slate.com, the online news magazine, has an interesting but highly questionable assessment of consecrated and monastic life in the article A Monastic Kind of Life: How Catholic religious communities are trying to attract young people again. Have you read it? If not, it’s a must read. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.

As for me, I found the article not only questionable but just plain wrong. Here are my thoughts.

1. The terminology is totally off. Monasticism is one form of consecrated life. Not all nuns, sisters, brothers, friars or priests live a monastic life.

2. Even though folks are quick to note the decline in numbers for consecrated life, they fail to note that the comparison is always to the early- to mid-1900s when there were 50+ people entering mainstream communities a year. But that time period is not characteristic of consecrated life throughout the history of Christianity. In fact that time period is more of an aberration because the history of consecrated life has never seen that kind of influx before nor possibly again.

3. Consecrated life was never meant to be a life for the masses. The viability of consecrated life is not dependent on numbers. True, some communities do end up disbanding but that too is under the guidance of the Holy Spirit just like the community’s founding was. We are not here to create a legacy but to do the work of God and live the Gospel in this particular vocation.

4. The article says, “The mission of many orders has become simply caring for their aging populations as they sell properties and consolidate with others.” I beg to differ. We always have and always will live our mission AND care for our sisters. There is nothing new about caring for aging populations, selling property, collaborating, and combining congregations. What is new is that we have such large numbers right now because of the major influx from the early- to mid-1900s. We have to be a bit more creative perhaps in how we care for our sisters and deal with our assets, but other than that, we remain vibrant.

5. What the heck is this?

For a time, the life of Catholic religious orders became about social justice issues, psychological issues, peace studies, interreligious dialogue, the ecology movement—everything and anything, seemingly, except the central proposition: that one can know a loving God and be transformed.

I am deeply offended by this statement. It reveals the author’s lack of understanding about consecrated life and about this period of history in the Catholic Church. Read the Vatican II Church Documents, spend time with religious who lived through this time period, and then perhaps you will understand that religious have been and will continue to be centered around a life and mission based on being in relationship with a loving God and working towards the transformation of ourselves and the world.

6. The jump from discussing consecrated life through Vatican II to the recent foundation of Clear Creek Monastery suggests that only newer communities are faithful to the Church and attractive to young people. While the growth in the monastery is great, the newer communities have not stood the test of time to see if young people stay, how new communities will grow and change as all religious communities before them have. It is exciting to see newer communities and the ways the Holy Spirit continues to inspire people. But make no mistake, the Holy Spirit is alive and well in established religious communities who continue to live out their charism according to what Vatican II called the “signs of the times”.

Well, that’s my two cents (or three) on the article.

Your thoughts?

Freakin’ is one of those great multipurpose words which serves to underscore a certain reality. In this case, NUNS. I’m in Louisville for a vocations conference and there are nuns everywhere. Nuns to the right of me. Nuns to the left of me. It’s freakin’ awesome. Forgive me but I just can’t think of a better phrase than that!

In addition to beaucoup d’nuns, there are also religious priests, brothers, friars and monks. (FYI, by religious priests I mean priests that belong to a religious community and take the same vows I do — celibacy, poverty, and obedience — not diocesan priests who do not profess vows.)

My nundar is very sharp so I see nuns everywhere. Last night I went with my IHM Sisters Mary Bea (of hermit crab fame and also my congregation’s vocation director) and Ellen (vocation director for the Archdiocese of Detroit) to a local restaurant. There had to be at least a dozen to two dozen Catholic sisters and brothers and priests there. It was awesome. Of course we ended up knowing people. I met Sister Ruth Harkins, a Scranton IHM Sister (the Scranton IHMs are our cousins — I’m a Monroe IHM), and then on the way home, we ran into the Adrian Dominicans’ vocation director and a San Rafael Dominican who happens to be a friend of mine on Facebook! Crazy!

Then this morning I found my way to the hotel gym — amazing! Every conceivable workout machine. And of course, there were nuns including my San Rafael friend.

So I am having a blast hanging out with my own IHM Sisters and meeting all kinds of nuns. The conference hasn’t even started yet! I’m also hoping to get to know other sisters, brothers and priests involved in vocation work for their communities and dioceses.

I will keep you updated on my experiences here because it is just so cool to be surrounded by “my people”. And to also spend some time learning about how to encourage vocations to consecrated life and the various Catholic vocations. More later.

Signing off from Nun Convention 2008!

Just found this story via my Plurk friends … “Woman is first consecrated virgin in Richmond diocese” by Steven G. Vegh (The Virginian-Pilot © July 27, 2008)

Here’s the first section of the article:

Fresh-faced and vivacious, Bernadette Snyder says she grew up in Virginia assuming Catholic girls like her either became nuns or found a man.

At 29, she is still single, and assuredly not a nun.

“I mean, do you see this in a convent?” Snyder said, glancing at her flowered skirt, peasant blouse and jewelry. “It just doesn’t happen. I mean, really!”

Instead, Snyder chose a little-known third path with a long tradition in Catholicism: She became a consecrated, perpetual virgin – the first in the 188-year history of the Richmond diocese, which includes Hampton Roads.

Wearing a white sundress and big pink earrings, Snyder knelt in May as Bishop Francis X. DiLorenzo laid hands on hers in the rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity of Women Living in the World.

It’s pretty cool that there is interested in this Catholic vocation of consecrated virginity. It most definitely is not widely known which is unfortunate because people like Bernadette might find their life’s calling within that vocation. It’s important that we know more about this vocation and encourage others to consider it. Pope Benedict XVI recently spoke about the beauty of this Catholic vocation of consecrated virginity. The pope noted:

“The choice of virginal life is an allusion to the transitory nature of earthly things and an anticipation of future good. Be witnesses of vigilant and industrious hope, of joy, of the peace that belongs to those who abandon themselves to the love of God. Be present in the world, yet pilgrims on the journey to the kingdom.”

I do beg to differ, however, with the characterization of nuns in this article (I’m very protective of the image of Catholic nuns as A Nun’s Life readers probably know by now!). I know lots of nuns who wear ordinary, modest outfits which may include flowered skirts, peasant blouses, or jewelry. Why, just the other day I was donning my cycling habit — coolmax tank top, cool biker-dude sunglasses, and black spandex shorts (okay, well that’s something that no one should admit to in public, but I’m trying to make a point here ). There are a variety of styles of dress that Catholic nuns wear, among them are the “traditional” habit, the modified habit with or without veil, and dress that resembles the ordinary, modest clothing of a particular culture.

For whatever reason (intrigue, sensationalism, ignorance, cutesie-ness, etc.) the writer of this article about Bernadette chose to make dress an issue and to play it against stereotypes of nuns as women who only ever wear traditional habits and who lack personal flair. (Note: this is a false stereotype but one which surfaces again and again.)

Okay, i’m done with my nun stereotype crusade, at least for now.

Back to this amazing event … wow, a young woman becoming a consecrated virgin. Way to go, Bernadette! You’ve given many people a glimpse into a wonderful vocation within the Catholic Church. Please be assured of my prayers.

Thoughts, reactions, questions?

An article I wrote was just published in VISION Vocation Guide 2009, an annual Catholic religious vocation discernment guide. It is a publication of the National Religious Vocation Conference.

The article is called “How a 16th-century nun guides me in religious life” … can you guess who that nun might be? Here’s a clue: I write about her regularly!

OK, it’s no secret that the 16th-century nun who guides me in all of my life is Saint Teresa of Avila. The article I wrote for VISION began with a few posts here at my blog when I was reading Teresa’s The Book of My Life, her more autobiographical writing. It was a great article to write because I do love Teresa and I believe that she is very present to us today and can be a wonderful guide for people discerning and wanting to grow in their relationship with God and their understanding of life lived in the Spirit.

Order a FREE copy of VISION Vocation Guide from the VISION Vocation Network website or view the digital version of VISION Vocation Guide. The website is the number one place that I recommend to people who are discerning a vocation to religious life and other vocations within the Catholic tradition.

We have many exciting features to help you discern your life’s calling. Whether you are interested in consecrated life—such as becoming a nun, brother, priest, or monk—or simply looking for ways to deepen your faith through volunteer and study opportunities, you’ve come to the right place!

As luck would have it, the Monroe IHM ad appeared just when I was taking this screen shot!

]]> http://anunslife.org/2008/08/01/vision-vocation-guide-2009/feed/ 5 http://anunslife.org/2008/06/27/vocation-forum-update/ http://anunslife.org/2008/06/27/vocation-forum-update/#comments Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:52:46 +0000 Sister Julie http://anunslife.org/?p=538

The Spirit works in wonderous ways! Through my nuns Terry M and Maxine and through my dear friend Mary Jo, a light went off for me about how the Vocation Forum that I’m developing can be improved and really be a place for those considering a vocation. So this morning I was up bright and early making those changes.

To those of who filled out the form — Blessings to you! It’s a significant thing when you make a step like that to articulate to someone (I’m honored and humbled to be that someone) that you feel nudged in this direction. I’ll be in touch soon.

To those of you who are hesitant, maybe you want to but aren’t sure – it’s totally up to you how much you want to share/not share. I welcome you wherever you are in thinking about religious life.

And to those of you who are supporters of religious life — please pray for these women and men. If you know of someone whom you feel would make a fabulous religious, tell them about this site and invite them to get to know others who are considering this wonderful way of life. You play a big part in vocations to religious life.

Click to go to Vocation Forum page.

I recently received a question from Missi about encouraging young children who express an interest in religious life.

How do you reach out to young children who consider becoming a nun a goal? If there’s a young child out there who would consider it, then how does a parent help aspire that child?

This is a great question, Missi. I had a similar question in my mind as I was writing my Permit Me to Rant post. How can parents and adults today encourage children to be open to religious life if they are continually given images from society that show religious in stereotypical and false ways? And if religious aren’t über visible like they used to be, how can religious make a real impression — visible or otherwise?

I think first the Church and religious need to be proactive about educating Catholics about the beauty and diversity of religious life. Too often we get stuck in Catholic lingo and go on and on about “vocations to the priesthood and religious life” but never really put that in ordinary language that people can recognize themselves in. I never once was struck by a vocation talk at parish — inspired by the good work of religious, clerics, and missionaries, Yes; but able to relate it to my own life, No. Then again, the pulpit and classroom are not the only places to talk about consecrated life. The best of course is to interact in a real way with religious and folks living other vocations.

Young children should always be encouraged to consider all kinds of possibilities for life. If they want to “play priest”, help them to do it and understand how priests serve God and God’s people. If they want to run an orphanage using their stuffed animals and action figures, help them to see how people give their whole lives to help others in need. I’m not talking formal vocation talks to little ones, but to encourage their imagination to embrace all different sorts of ways of living their faith, of being of service to others. Parents do this in all sorts of ways by how they live their own life and model such behavior. If children have direct interest in religious sisters, brothers, lay leaders, deacons, priests, etc. then I’d suggest setting up a time when kids can interact with them, talk to them, anything to help the child know a real person who has given their lives to that vocation. And check out your local Catholic book store for books for little ones about Catholic life and vocations — Pauline Books and Media (Daughters of Saint Paul nuns) is a great place for such things.

Many of you reading are parents and Catholic primary school/parish teachers who may have bumped up against this question. You’ve got a ton of wisdom — what are your thoughts on this? How do we encourage young children who express an interest in a vocation?

A few weeks ago I ran a survey called What would you like to see on ANunsLife.org? Survey (it’s still open if you haven’t taken it yet). The results confirmed my sense that there are many people reading who are discerning religious life or who are just on the tip of considering religious life. There are also many readers who though not considering religious life appreciate the discussions on vocations and religious life because it helps them in their own calling in life.

I’ve been working on ways to be more attuned to vocation questions and concerns and desires and just discovered a plugin that’s an answer to my prayer! (Thank God for all you techies out there — your work is a real ministry because it helps people connect and meet needs. Bless you.)

I now have a page which is called Vocation Forum for those of you who would like to receive support and encouragement as you consider whether God just might be calling you to become a nun or monk, religious sister or brother. It’s also for those of you who are pretty sure religious life is for you but are not yet actively discerning with a religious community. I want to be a support to you and offer you the encouragement and and space you need to listen to what God is calling you to — whatever that ends up being!

On the Vocation Forum page, I noted that I’m not sure what this will develop into — that’s up to the Spirit and those who want to explore their vocation and religious life.

So if you are thinking about (or trying not to think about) becoming a nun or about another way of consecrated life, please click on Vocation Forum — you are most welcome to A Nun’s Life and I’m honored to have the opportunity to connect with you.

P.S. If there are any other kinds of features you’d like to see on A Nun’s Life, let me know!

A friend just sent me a copy of the newsletter Aspirant which is a publication of The Laboure Society. I’ve heard of The Laboure Society but never really knew much about them until I read this newsletter. Here’s what they say:

The Laboure Society affirms and encourages aspirants to priesthood or religious life in the Holy Roman Catholic Church and assists those with financial debt, which prevents them from fulfilling their vocational call.

In the past four years, The Laboure Society has helped 106 individuals to become ordained or professed or to be in various stages of formation: 74 sisters, 11 brothers, and 21 for the priesthood. What a wonderful work they are doing. I encourage you to check out their website.

Financial issues can often be overwhelming for people entering religious life or the priesthood. Aspirants to religious life (people aspiring to be a nun, sister, brother, monk) must be debt free upon entrance to the religious community. While certainly a reasonable requirement, it can be very difficult especially if you’ve just put yourself through school on student loans. I myself have had to deal with the question and I know many other young women and men who are discerning a call to religious life or the priesthood who must delay applying to enter or who give up all together because the debt is overwhelming to them or won’t be paid back for another 30 years on some high interest payment plan.

Here’s an article on just this topic: Debt, the Vocation Killer published by National Catholic Register (March 11, 2007).

If you are discerning a vocation to religious life or the priesthood and have financial debt, read The Laboure Society’s Procedures and Requirements for Aspirant Participation in The Laboure Society and Determination of Funds Allocation.

I can’t tell you how important it is that people like The Laboure Society step up and help out. They are a blessing and a source of encouragement. Without them, many of us might have given up on pursing God’s call to religious life or the priesthood.

A couple weeks ago I gave the first two installments from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God and Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community.

Here’s the final installment. How blessed we are that a hermit is blogging because we don’t often get to see what this vocation and lifestyle is like. The eremitical life (the vocation of being a hermit as recognized by the Catholic Church) is another way to live out God’s call to live fully and to proclaim the Good News of Jesus.

Here are my final questions and Sister Laurel’s responses …

3) How is the eremetical life a gift to the Church and world?

The eremitical life is a gift of profound love, wholeness and sanity in a world which lacks this so very often. I understand it as a life which takes human brokenness and weakness and allows them to be touched and transformed by the grace of God. “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” Probably every vocation does and says this, but I am not sure there is a more vivid example than that of a hermit who lives with, from, and for God alone, and comes to love others as much as possible only through and in God. We live in a world where people are often isolated and distrust the preciousness and meaningfulness of their own lives. The hermit says there is no need to doubt or distrust these things, especially if one is not rich or successful in worldly terms. God alone is sufficient for us, and if we can let that be true our lives have an almost infinite meaningfulness and import — no matter what the world says about such things!

Hermits like to see themselves as the heart of the church silently and steadily beating away at the core of things, mediating God’s grace to church and world. The hermitage is a small but powerful cell in the reality of the coming Kingdom allowing in it’s own tiny way, heaven and earth to interpenetrate each other. A gift to church and world calling each to their very best selves? That is what I think the hermit vocation is about.

4) What would you say to someone considering the eremitical life?

Good question. There is no one thing I would say, I guess. The first thing that tends to pop out is WHY??? Some of the things I would advise would include: have a good spiritual director who can assist you to really grow to human maturity and discern what is of the Spirit and what is not. Be clear that your motives for embracing such a life are rooted in love, love for God, for self, and for others. If you have substantial healing of your own to do, get to it before you make any commitments to eremitical life. The hermitage allows for such work to be done but actual commitments to the life need to have that out of the way as much as possible. Get yourself a decent theological grounding ( also as much as possible), and of course, PRAY!!!

Do you have any other questions for Sister Laurel? Even if you are not called to become a hermit, what are some things about hermits that you can (or would like to) reasonably incorporate into your own life?

Father Martin: Thanks so much to Sister Julie for hosting me today on her wonderful blog! I had a terrific time answering so many questions and getting to know her readers.

To wrap up today’s discussions, maybe I could talk a little more about the concept of “vocation,” which seemed to be on everyone’s mind. In short, I believe that a vocation is not so mysterious thing as people might think. Typically it manifests itself through very personal desires. A man and woman fall in love, and so discover their vocation as a married couple. A student might love studying biology, and so manifests his vocation as a doctor or biologist. The same in religious life or the priesthood. A young man or woman (or even an older one!) may find himself or herself powerfully attracted to a particular religious order or the priesthood. This is the “call.” The key is trusting that your deepest desires are God’s desires for you, and the way that God fulfills God’s desires for the world.

So the first step is, as St. Ignatius says, to pray to understand your desires, and believe that they are ways that God is calling you.

The second is to test them out. See where these desires and longings lead you. Explore and investigate. And then…join an order that appeals to you. Enter a seminary that you feel drawn to. Choose a career that you find exciting. Begin a relationship with the person you love. As Father Arrupe said, “Fall in love, stay in love, and that will decide everything.”

Finally, look for signs of “confirmation.” Now that you’ve started testing the waters, or entered the novitiate or seminary, or started a job, or started dating, how do you feel? What’s going on inside of you? St. Ignatius says that confirmation comes with deep feelings of peace and joy, even if there are some occasional problems. That’s a real sign that your “in sync” with the Holy Spirit who dwells within you. You may shock some people with what you’ve chosen, but over time if it’s the right vocation, it will bring joy to everyone. (And you might have to settle at the beginning for peace within you, even if not in others!) Overall, a feeling of “rightness” and gladness, as well as a deeply felt peace, are good signs of confirmation.

Anyway, that’s a little précis on vocation.

So thanks for all those questions. I talk a lot more about all this stuff in my books “My Life with the Saints,” and also “Becoming Who You Are.” I hope you might read them some day.

And do keep me in your prayers.

Sister Julie: What a blessing you have been to us, Father Martin. I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you and with all those who have visited today. May God continue to bless you and all that you do to reflect the light of God within the world. Know that you are always welcome here at A Nun’s Life.

My thanks to Denise for twittering the event at http://twitter.com/Denise205, to Michelle and Molly for your facilitation of the blog event, and to Loyola Press for the raffled book and discount for my readers.

And to my readers: Thank you for participating in Father Martin’s blog tour — for the questions you asked, comments you made, and for just being here. Father Martin’s blog tour continues through this week. Here are the other blogs where you can see what he is up to!

Wednesday, June 4 – The Dawn Patrol

Thursday, June 5 – The Anchoress

Friday, June 6 – Happy Catholic

Tomorrow I’ll let you know who won the autographed copy of My Life with the Saints. For a discount on this book see my post Conversation with James Martin, SJ.

Sister Florence Vales OSC: Hi, Father Martin. Peace and all good wishes. I am a Poor Clare in Chesterfield, NJ and am delighted to be able to ask you a question.

Why is it that young women are not entering Religious life? We all know the typical answers: more choices for women, etc., but in the Franciscan Friars they receive young men, late 20’s to early 30’s. We have a woman in her 50’s, married before, etc., and a young woman from Nigeria, 19, and so much too young to enter, so she is an affiliate. So what are your views? We know there are vocations out there. Most of our vocations come from a Friar suggesting us, but that is far and between.

Is there anything we can do to foster vocations? We do pray everyday for vocations to our way of life and to the Church.

By the way, I am reading “A Jesuit Off-Broadway,” and some of the answers to our culture are there. Good stuff.

Father Martin: Dear Sister, Thanks for your question – I love the Poor Clares! Please do pray for me, and ask your community to do the same! (And thanks for the kind words about “A Jesuit Off-Broadway.”)

I think that young woman are choosing not to enter religious life in the way they did in past decades for a few reasons. First, there are more choices available to women these days who wish to contribute to the life of the church. In the past, many women felt that they could only do this as nuns or sisters. Today they can exercise both service and leadership roles in new ways, in both the single and married lives. Second, both young men and young women seem to have a more difficult time making life-long commitments today. Third, after the Second Vatican Council religious life was no longer seen as “better” than the married life, which may have diminished its appeal. Fourth, the vow of chastity is a particular barrier for many young people who, I think, don’t understand it. (That’s one reason I have a lengthy discussion of it in “My Life with the Saints.”) Finally, there is a simple decline in religiosity, or general interest in the church overall. So those are just a few reasons.

But your question of how to foster vocations is a terrific one. Certainly prayer is the number one thing to do: asking God for vocations. Second, I think it is more important than ever frequently to ask women who you think might be interested in joining whether they have ever considered this. Now I know your sisters must do this already, but I think these days we have be much more assertive in our asking. (For myself, I ask young men regularly about the Jesuits!) Third, perhaps by being creative in the ways that you introduce young women to your congregation: for example, “Come and See” evenings or weekends, visiting local parishes, and so on. And finally, I think it is important, particularly for contemplative communities, to use every possible means of modern technology to reach people who might not have heard of religious life, or, more specifically, may not know much about the Poor Clares. So, for example, besides having pamphlets, writing magazine articles, taking out advertisements, responding to media requests for interviews, etc., it’s also important to use the Internet, YouTube, and every other means of contemporary media to reach young people. The reason for that is because those types of new media are the primary places where young people get their information these days.

But the best answer to that question is one that I heard from the former Superior General of the Jesuits, Peter- Hans Kolvenbach, who visited our novitiate in Boston when I was a first-year novice. I asked Fr. General, “What’s the best way to increase vocation?” And he said something totally unexpected. (I imagined he would say, “We need to advertise more, etc.) He said, “Live you own vocation joyfully!” By that doing that, you naturally attract people to your way of life, the way that early Christians did 2000 years ago.

It is a pleasure to welcome Father James Martin, SJ, to A Nun’s Life blog. Father Martin is a member of the Jesuits (the Society of Jesus), a Catholic religious community for men. He is also a fellow blogger at In All Things, an editorial blog at America magazine where he is an author and associate editor. (Read more at James Martin, SJ – Biography.)

Father Martin is here at A Nun’s Life to chat with you about the saints, becoming a saint through your everyday life, and much more. Since I often write about religious life and discerning God’s call, I’ve asked Father Martin some questions around his own vocation as well as religious life and discernment in general — click here for my initial questions for Father Martin. Those questions are just to get the ball rolling because really this conversation is for you!

Here’s how this works …

1) Ask your question(s) for Father Martin by writing a comment in the comment box below this post or any post today (all of the posts today will be part of the conversation with Father Martin).

2) Father Martin will be scanning all of these posts and comments and will respond to people’s questions. He’ll send me an email so that I can re-post the questions along with his responses in a new post. The most recent questions with responses will appear at the top of the blog. Father Martin’s responses will be in blue text.

3) If the questioner, Father Martin or anyone else would like to further a particular conversation, they can click on that post and comment there.

4) Loyola Press, the sponsor of Father Martin’s blog tour, is raffling off a free autographed copy of Father Martin’s book My Life with the Saints – you are automatically entered in this drawing when you post a comment or question for Father Martin.

5) Loyola Press is also offering a 35% off discount to A Nun’s Life visitors who wish to purchase My Life with the Saints. You can order at Loyola Press website or by calling Loyola Press toll-free at 800-621-1008. Please use the code 2679 to receive the 35% discount off the hardcover or paperback of My Life with the Saints. This offer is good through June 8, 2008.

My gratitude goes to Father Martin for joining us, to Loyola Press for sponsoring this, and to you readers and guests of A Nun’s Life for joining in!

We’ve already received some questions, so sit back, relax, and join in the conversation!

Welcome, Father Martin!

Welcome, Father Martin!

Father Martin: It’s great to be with everyone today on the second stop of my blog tour, or as I prefer to call it, my blog camino. I’ve long admired Sister Julie’s blog, and feel in good company with a younger religious. (For a Jesuit, anyone under 75 is young!) Anyway, I look forward to answering your questions about the saints, and, most of all, hearing what you all have to teach me!

Last week I gave the first installment from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God. Here’s the next installment. I always wondered if hermits feel lonely or if they miss being within a religious community of other nuns … and so I asked …

2) Are you lonely? Do you miss being in community?

No, I am not generally lonely if by that you mean the anxiety to be with people, or to be in touch, etc. I am lonely in the sense of being with God by myself most of the time.

I miss community most when I sing Office because I loved Office in choir. However, I attend daily Mass, and am supported emotionally (loved!) by my parish and local community more generally.

I am not a recluse and I do see people fairly regularly, so no, no loneliness! I do miss community life, however, so enhancing contacts with women religious and other hermits is something I want to do more of.

I really appreciated this, Sister Laurel. Even sisters who lives in community experience loneliness — for me, it is much like you said. One of my married friends spoke of this kind of loneliness too even though she is happily married to a great guy. Sometimes we can misunderstand that loneliness as a problem in our relationships, in our community, etc. but often it is a call … a call to a deeper experience of God. Karl Rahner, the great Jesuit theologian (and my MA thesis subject) wrote often of this. I have come to appreciate it as a kind of “radical loneliness” that can not be quenched but by God. It’s uncomfortable a lot of times, but even in the discomfort there is a peace because it is a sign of God’s presence with us.

UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit

Here’s a good article (minus the title) about Anne-Marie Gallagher, a 24-year old who will be professing vows as a Josephite Sister in Sydney, Australia — “A social butterfly gets herself to a nunnery.” Some quotes from the article …

ANNE-MARIE GALLAGHER was in her final year at Domremy College in Sydney’s inner west when the assistant principal suggested, “you would make a good nun”.

“I just laughed it off,” she said. “I thought of myself as a normal teenager and, like most of my peers, [at one stage] I even questioned my faith. I just thought it was normal.”

Just a brief comment here — we all have a responsibility to let others know, especially our young people, if we see a particular vocation in them. Sometimes it takes someone outside of ourselves to call us to become aware of God’s call to us. All you have to do is plant the seed. The Spirit (who has already prepared the soil) will take care of the rest.

While studying education and theology at Australian Catholic University as a 19-year-old, she came across the website for Catholic Vocations Ministry Australia. “I couldn’t believe that I was [looking] there,” she laughed. “Me, of all people. But for a while this feeling of being unsettled had niggled at me.

“I had dated some guys but something else, involving a deeper commitment to God, was demanding my attention.”

Too many times people don’t consider religious life because they think they have to be super-pious or not have any romantic feelings for another person. It’s okay to have dated, to be a social butterfly, to be a “normal” teenager … God calls whomever God chooses. It’s that simple.

Blessings to you, Sister Anne-Marie and the Josephite community!

Here’s a good article on consecrated virginity with encouraging words from Pope Benedict XVI. A consecrated virgin is not the same as a nun or sister. It is a different way of life within the Church. It always amazes me the diversity of our vocations in the Church. God calls each of us in a unique and powerful way. I’d love to hear from any one reading who is a consecrated virgin and what the life is like.

Consecrated Virginity a Gift for the Church, Says Pope
Calls Charism Luminous and Fruitful

VATICAN CITY, MAY 15, 2008 (Zenit.org).- The call to consecrated virginity has roots in the beginnings of evangelical life, and the Virgin Mary was its first fulfillment, affirmed Benedict XVI.

The Pope stated this today when he greeted 500 consecrated virgins today who have gathered in Rome for an international congress. In his remarks to the members of “Ordo Virginum,” or the Order of Virgins, the Holy Father, quoting the theme chosen for the congress, pointed out that consecrated virginity is “a gift in the Church and for the Church.” He invited the women “to develop, from day to day, their understanding of a charism which is as luminous and fruitful in the eyes of the faith as it is obscure and futile in the eyes of the world.”

“The Order of Virgins represents a particular form of consecrated life which flowered anew in the Church after Vatican Council II,” the Pontiff explained. “However, it has ancient roots that go back to the beginnings of evangelical life when, in an unprecedented novelty, the hearts of certain women began to open to a desire for consecrated virginity: in other words, the desire to give one’s entire being to God, which had had its first extraordinary fulfillment in the Virgin of Nazareth and her ‘yes.’

“Your charism must reflect the intensity, but also the freshness, of its origins,” said the Pope, noting how, “when it came into being, the charism did not involve a particular way of life. Little by little, however, it was institutionalized, finally becoming a full public and solemn consecration conferred by the bishop through an inspirational liturgical rite that made the consecrated woman ’sponsa Christi,’ an image of the Church as bride.”

“Your vocation is profoundly rooted in the particular Church to which you belong,” he told the women. “From the diocese, with its traditions, its saints, its values, limits and difficulties, you open up to the scope of the universal Church, sharing particularly in her liturgical prayer.” “In this way your prayerful ‘I’ progressively broadens out,” the Holy Father continued, “until in the prayer there is nothing more than a great ‘we.’ In your dialogue with God, open yourselves to dialogue with all creatures.”

“The choice of virginal life,” the Pope concluded, “is an allusion to the transitory nature of earthly things and an anticipation of future good. Be witnesses of vigilant and industrious hope, of joy, of the peace that belongs to those who abandon themselves to the love of God. Be present in the world, yet pilgrims on the journey to the kingdom.”

Here’s Sister Katherine’s profession of final vows …

As promised, I took a couple little videos (I don’t have a real video camera, just the one on my digital camera) so that I could share with you some of the profession ceremony of Sister Katherine Collard, IHM.

In this video, Katherine responds to Sister Mary Fran Gilleran, IHM President, who asks Katherine to speak to her desire to become an IHM Sister.

Powerful and beautiful.

A fellow blogging nun has posted a wonderful reflection that she gave to a group of lay people about religious life. This contemplative Redemptoristine sister (Order of the Most Holy Redeemer) writes the blog Contemplative Horizon. This reflection on religious life, she writes, is meant “to bring our lay friends up to date and give them a perspective concerning the current state of religious life. It was meant to give historical context, be reassuring and also to offer a bit of a challenge.”

The reflection, “To Pray Always” – Monastic Life into the 21st Century, begins with a great quote from Mark Twain …

After the London Times published his obituary, Mark Twain quipped to a lecture audience, “The report of my death was greatly exaggerated.”

Tonight I would like to assure you that reports of the death of monasticism, indeed the death of religious life, have been greatly exaggerated. Both are alive and well, though diminished in number. Indeed, if the record of history and culture is predictive and if, as a result, artistic imagination keeps bringing monastic images to our cultural radar screen, they will never die….

Please take the time to read Sister’s reflection and begin/continue a conversation with her and her readers. Also I’d love to hear what you think too. While the article is focused on monastic life, what take-aways do we have for our own vocations?

Religion and Ethics Newsweekly published this interview with the Dominicans of Nashville and their increase in young vocations: “Young Nuns” (February 8, 2008 — Episode no. 1123).

There are some real gems in this story especially when the sisters begin to explain their own experience of being called. I think many of us could relate!

Sister Amelia Hueller: I finished high school, I went to college in Washington, DC for four years, and I came up against relativism: the idea that we can’t — people said that we couldn’t know what was good, what was bad, what was true. So I really began questioning where truth comes from. Where does goodness come from? I know I have values. Who gives them to me? And so between that moment and here, it was a process of, “This is scary, I don’t understand this. I don’t see why I would be called. How can I be called? I am so normal.”

Sister Christiana Mickwee: For me, it wasn’t so much a voice per se but through prayer — just in the silence, just letting him be there and finding out, really asking him, “What do you want from me, God?” I mean, I really had everything I could have wanted in the world, and there wasn’t anything that I was trying to get away from.

Sister Catherine Marie Hopkins: Very rarely do people come and say, “I’ve always wanted to be a sister.” You know, I always found that very suspect. You know, usually it was, “I was going through life very happily and suddenly this strange idea came and I tried really hard to eliminate it.” In my own life, that was the case.

What is fascinating to me is that God’s call to us — to me — is always unique, yet whenever I hear another Sister’s experience, I can often resonate with them. And even though the Nashville Dominicans have a charism and lifestyle different than my own IHM charism and life, we have so much more in common because of “the call” and our commitment to serving God, the Church, and the world.

If you are wondering if you are called (and you know who you are!), consider this: whoever you are, wherever you come from, whatever you desire most — God is with you and wants you to answer with your whole self. Forget about such things as “I’m not that holy” or “I’m just a normal, average person” or “Why would God call me?” or “I like guys too much.” Check out what’s it’s like to be a nun and you just might find your heart’s desire.

In response to my post Can You Become a Nun if you have a Chronic Illness? I received an email from Sr. M. Zita Wenker, OSB, a Benedictine sister who is a member of the Benedictines of Jesus Crucified, Monastery of the Glorious Cross in Connecticut. I asked her permission to post it on my blog because it is such a direct, honest response to considerations involved in accepting people with a chronic illness. It brings a new light to this complex and important issue.

1. As vocation director, it’s important for me to know exactly what the chronic illness/condition is, that someone has who is considering religious/monastic life. There are some illnesses that could be integrated into community living rather easily–someone with a heart condition, for instance, knows what her limitations are, and as long as she gets adequate rest, takes her meds, and exercises common sense in what she does, it could be very workable. Of course, this assumes that the community is willing to take her condition into consideration, and would not ask some work she couldn’t do. On the other hand, I’ve seen women with such severe allergies that they spend most of the day preparing their own special diet, or staying out of any place with dust, mold, mildew, etc. This kind of condition would be next to impossible to integrate, at least into any community I know of.

As far as I know, there’s no community that will accept women with mental illness of any kind, or those with the likelihood (from family history) of developing it in the future. Any candidate has to be well-balanced psychologically and emotionally. (God help us all! We joke that if we were applying today, we wouldn’t be accepted!!!)

Back to chronic illness–a few women with fibromyalgia and/or chronic fatigue syndrome, seem able to manage it well. Nevertheless, I suspect it would be rather hard in community, where everyone is expected to pull her own weight. Again, it would depend on what the community is willing to do—to what degree it can stretch. In my experience, we’ve had to say no to women with cerebral palsy. Some are so afflicted with it that normal conversation isn’t possible. Others have much milder cases, and may perhaps be integrated, but still–in our experience we’ve had instances of psychological problems surfacing years after entering, in some women who have CP. To what extent it’s due to the CP itself, I’m not competent to say. We also refuse women with multiple sclerosis, or other neurological conditions that would get progressively worse. Whether a community could handle the repercussions of accepting such women would depend on the various communities–we are small, and can only handle so much. A larger group might be able to do it.

2. My community is one that is open to women with certain physical limitations: blindness, deafness (although this is a challenge for the person and the community), polio and its after-effects, arrested TB, heart problems, diabetes—these are some of the conditions our members have. We are the Benedictines of Jesus Crucified, Monastery of the Glorious Cross, 61 Burban Drive, Branford, CT 06405. We are a monastic community, with no outside ministry.

An apostolic community that accepts women with disabilities is the Sisters of the Lamb of God, in Owensboro, Kentucky.

The Visitation Monasteries may be open to some women with chronic illnesses, depending on what they are. The various monasteries probably have varying criteria, so anyone interested would have to try one by one.

A group that is not a religious community, but is a “pious union,” is the Franciscan Missionaries of Jesus Crucified. They welcome women (and men, for that matter) with chronic illnesses.

My community offers the possibility of becoming Oblates to those who are interested in living according to our spirituality, but in their own homes, marriages, jobs, families, etc. Some of our Oblates are physically handicapped and many are not. It’s not a factor, as long as they want what we have, and understand what becoming an Oblate entails. A lot of communities have Oblates, third orders, associates, affiliates, etc. These can sometimes be a route for women who might not be able to be fully accepted into a community.

I hope this is some help. Please visit our web site at www.benedictinesjc.org.
Sr. M. Zita Wenker, OSB

In her email to me, Sister added that the following:

Some apostolic communities are beginning to be more open to women with certain chronic conditions, although of course they have to be careful too. Sometimes not being able to do everything that is expected of all members can eat away at a person’s self-esteem and self-worth.

If you have any questions for Sister M. Zita, please let me know and I’ll forward them to her or feel free to write to her at the snail mail address given above.

A while back I began a “series” called Decoding Formation.

• Decoding Formation: a basic introduction
• Decoding Formation: who me??
• Decoding Formation: Initial Inquiry
• Decoding Formation: Aspirancy/Pre-Candidacy

Here’s the next segment of the series. As mentioned in a basic introduction, each religious community may have its own particular nuances to the formation process, however, the basis for the formation process is discernment and the pattern for formation is similar.

Wow! So now’s the time that a person has been accepted into the religious community’s Postulancy or Candidacy. The Postulant or Candidate is not under vows but she has made a more formal commitment to enter into the mission and life of the congregation. From the various women and communities I have known, it seems as if there are many different approaches to this period of formation so be sure to check out particular communities for what they envision for this time. If you’ve experienced Postulancy/Candidacy and had a different experience, please share with us (especially those who are cloistered … my experiences comes out of being a member of a non-cloistered community).

Beginning Candidacy is a big step in the woman’s life and in the life of the community for it signals a formal commitment to one another, not just a casual relationship with no strings attached. True, a Candidate may choose to leave at any time or be asked to leave, but basically there is a mutual desire to know one another more deeply and to share one’s life.

At the heart of Candidacy is the deepening of one’s life of prayer and integrating this life with the community. The Candidate may live with the community itself or in a house of formation. This house of formation might include others in formation for that community as well as the formation director. Or the house of formation might be a local community which is willing to continue their regular ministries but also place the formation of the Candidate as a priority in their community life. In any case, the Candidate prays with the community, lives with the community, and enters into their life of mission. In some cases she may continue working or studying as she was prior to becoming a Candidate. In other cases, she may leave all that and begin a specific program that the community has in place.

During this time a Candidate will be engaged in studies around religious life, theology, scripture, personal growth, and the charism and history of the congregation. She may do this in a variety of ways: taking a college course, joining other people in formation from a variety of communities to learn about religious life, joining with others in formation in the same community to learn about that particular community. While learning about the community is something all Candidates do, the other studies really depend on where one is in one’s life. For example, if you already have a degree in theology, you might spend this time focused on a particular or related area.

One of the things I found most helpful during this time was the opportunity to get to know our IHM sisters who were retired and living at our Motherhouse. These are women who have lived The Life, some for 75 years and counting! Not only could they talk to me about the history of the congregation as they lived it, but they shared their experiences of walking with God, of prayer, of mission and service. These women had the kind of wisdom and hospitality that made you feel holier just being in their presence. I’m sure that part of my formation and coming to understand myself as a religious came through osmosis, through just being with these women. To this day, our IHM Motherhouse is truly HOME to me and the women there continue to inspire me, challenge me, and call me to be my best self.

And of course, during this period of formation, discernment continues. The Candidate continue to reflect on and pray about what God is calling her to. She pays attention to how she is growing personally, and to whether or not this life “fits” with her. She continually brings her experiences to prayer. She meets regularly with the Sister who is the formation director or Candidacy director. She also meets regularly with a spiritual director (usually someone outside of the community, though in some cases a member of the community). The Candidate is also beginning to integrate her life with that of the community in the sense that her family and friends are getting to know the community as well. On the community’s part, they are also sharing their lives with the Candidate, allowing her to get to know them personally and begin forging relationships.

There’s so much more I could say but as I read back over this, it is somewhat of a jumbled mess. Candidacy is such a fluid time that it’s tough to nail these things down and be more specific or systematic. Perhaps the best thing to do is to direct you to what congregations themselves say about this time period. Here are a few:

Scanton IHMs
Sisters of Saint Francis of Perpetual Adoration
Sisters of Providence
Daughters of Saint Paul
Saint Benedict Monastery

Next installment: Decoding Formation: Novitiate – Overview

A while back I began a “series” called Decoding Formation.

• Decoding Formation: a basic introduction
• Decoding Formation: who me??
• Decoding Formation: Initial Inquiry

Here’s the next segment of the series. As mentioned in a basic introduction, each religious community may have its own particular nuances to the formation process, however, the basis for the formation process is discernment and the pattern for formation is similar.

Once a person has gone through the period of initial inquiry (discerning and learning more about a particular religious community) she may feel ready to take the next step which is formally preparing for applying to enter the community. The period of time when a person prepares to apply to join a community is called aspirancy or pre-candidacy. This period gets its name “aspirancy” because the person “aspires” to pursue her call to religious life through a particular community. The main work of this period of time is to continue the discernment and prayer that has been ongoing both in the life of the aspirant and in the community.

The person interested in joining begins to more formally study and experience the community’s lifestyle and spirituality. She may be invited to attend certain formation events or community events so that she can truly get a feel for the community. It is so important during this time that the person meet sisters, get to know them, and share her journey with them. Developing and tending to relationships are important aspects of community life.

When I lived in Toronto (5 hours away from the IHM Motherhouse in Monroe), I visited Monroe maybe once a month, but everytime I was there, various nuns would look out for me and be sure I had someone to eat with at lunch or sit with at an event. They made sure they introduced me to other sisters and took me around to the infirmary to meet sisters who weren’t up and about. Though I wasn’t living near Monroe, I met women then who have become my very dear friends. They are the people who helped get me through formation and the various joys and sorrows of life. They kept in touch with me and always welcomed me in Monroe. The events that I went to were important, but more important was the opportunity to get to know these women, to tell them my story and listen to their own. Somewhere in their, I/we discovered that we had a common story and that’s how I knew in part that this was to be home for me.

In addition to the ongoing formation and getting to know one another, there is a formal application process. Once there is a sense from both the woman and the community that the process should continue, the woman may ask to apply to formally enter the community. The application process is not for the faint of heart. It involves getting reports from physicians and psychologists that indicate that you are healthy of mind and body to join. It involves filling out forms with all your basic information, education and employment history, family, etc. Usually there is a series of “essay” questions in which you reflect on your call, your spirituality, your history, who you are, and how God has been at work in your life. Then there are interviews — interviews with formation personnel, leadership and/or sisters at large. Again this is an opportunity to learn more about one another. I say this is not for the faint of heart because a lot — I mean A LOT — of soul-searching takes place. The process of applying gives you a fabulous opportunity to take a look at yourself — mind, body, and spirit — and to integrate your whole self with this call from God. It is amazing as it is terrifying, yet it is all good because you are coming to know yourself better and God and the community. It may feel like you are laying everything out there — because you are — but let me tell you: it is worth it. Whether you end up joining the community or not, this is perhaps one of the most valuable times of your life.

During this time of aspirancy/pre-candidacy, the person maintains responsibility for herself. She financially supports herself and carries on all her ordinary responsibilities. Though she is in the act of applying, she is under no obligation to join. She is always free to leave at anytime. She is not under vows, though she most certainly will be trying to live as if she is as she grows more accustomed to the lifestyle. On the community’s part, there is no obligation to accept a person who applies nor is there an obligation to financially support her. This arrangement allows both parties to remain free in discerning the call. In this way neither the community nor the woman is beholden to the other. Both can freely listen to the Spirit and have that be the center of the relationship and decision.

Once the application process is complete and there is a sense of readiness on behalf of the woman and the community, leadership and/or formation sisters review the application, reflect on their experience with woman, and enter into a period of discernment. After this time, the community will convey it’s response to the woman applying. When the woman is accepted, she may enter the period of postulancy or candidacy. See next installment: Decoding Formation: Postulancy/Candidacy.

An interesting article from the Sacramento Bee. What is most significant to me in this article is the story of Andrea Jaeger. I am impressed and inspired by her. Her story (read more about her in the Sports Illustrated story linked below) presents a good image of women religious today. Thanks, Andrea … you rock. P.S. Colts v. Bears … go BEARS!

A new tradition: The average age of nuns is 70, but a younger generation of women is turning to the religious life

The Sacramento Bee Newspaper

January 20, 2007
Section: SCENE
Page: K1

By Jennifer Garza
Bee Staff Writer
RELIGION

–To Andrea Jaeger, the dream she had one night last year was clear. She should be a nun.

And that is how the former tennis prodigy, known for her intensity on and off the court, started on the road to sisterhood. On Sept. 16, Jaeger became an Anglican Dominican nun.

“This is what God is calling me to do,” she told Sports Illustrated [click for the SI article on Andrea] in an interview earlier this month. Jaeger quit tennis in 1987 after a series of shoulder injuries and donated all her winnings to start a foundation that helps needy and sick children. This is now her ministry.

While Jaeger’s transition from tennis star to nun may have taken many by surprise, her decision to enter religious life is not unusual. After years of little growth, several religious communities are reporting an increasing number of women answering the call. The numbers are still small, but they are a ray of hope for religious orders worried about their future.

Who are these women choosing the religious life? These new nuns are a paradox — they are likely to embrace traditional dress and teachings, but they also are savvy about the latest in technology, pop culture and fundraising techniques. They feel as comfortable wearing their habits and living in a convent as they do writing about what it all means on their blogs.

While Jaeger comes to the religious life from the Anglican tradition, many of the new Roman Catholic nuns are the so-called “JP2″ generation. They grew up admiring the seemingly tireless Pope John Paul II, the first pope to venture beyond the Vatican’s walls. And like him, they seem determined to break stereotypes.

“People are surprised when I write about biking or drinking wine,” says Sister Julie Vieira, whose blog, “A Nun’s Life,” gets about 500 hits daily. Vieira, who works for a Catholic publishing company in Chicago, started the blog last summer as a way to educate.

“There’s a lack of understanding about what it means to be a religious today. I want to show there are all kinds of nuns.”

Vieira’s blog is one of many written by sisters about life inside a convent.

In blogs such as “the ear of your heart” — described as the adventures of a canonical novice in a Benedictine monastery out in the boonies — the nun writes about her exercise “addiction” as well as her love for Christ. On another, “Musings of a Discerning Woman,” a new sister talks about movie night at the convent (“Field of Dreams”) and the importance of meditation.

Blogs, mentoring by e-mail and online questionnaires where young women can choose a community in the same way they would a date are just a few of the innovative ways some religious communities are reaching out.

These efforts appear to be paying off — for some.

“The numbers are increasing for certain communities, and we’re excited by what we’re seeing … at the same time some orders are not receiving any new members,” says Paul Bednarczyk, executive director of the National Religious Vocation Conference.

Bednarczyk’s group created Vocation-network.org, the online questionnaire he says has received thousands of hits in recent months because of publicity.

This interest is happening just in time. The number of Catholic nuns in this country dropped from 173,865 in 1965 to 79,876 in 2000, according to the Web site for the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University.

The numbers have remained steady over the years in the Anglican community, which includes the Episcopal Church in the United States. “For us, it’s always been about the same growth, there’s no big tsunami,” says Sister Teresa Martin of the Community of the Transfiguration in Eureka. “But then we’re much smaller than the Catholics.”

Many Catholic orders receive only a few new members a year. The average age of a nun in the United States is 70.

Newer orders that focus on a specific ministry and place a strong emphasis on community life are the ones that appear to be growing, according to Bednarczyk.

Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist is one. This Catholic order started with four members in Ann Arbor, Mich., in 1997, mostly with the financial backing of Tom Monaghan, founder of Domino’s Pizza. There are now 72 nuns in the community with an average age of 24.

The religious order has impressed a Granite Bay couple so much that they’ve donated 38 acres in Loomis, valued at about $3 million, to the community.

They hope to build a convent for 100 nuns, a chapel and, one day, a high school for girls.

“We have 12 children who are all happy and healthy,” says Joan Cordova, 80. She and her husband, Fred, 86, own several businesses and feel blessed. “It’s time to pay back … and this is the way we want to do it.”

The couple picked this order because, among other things, they liked the group’s adherence to traditional practices such as structured prayer hours.

“I like what the order stands for,” says Joan Cordova, who is overseeing the renovation of a house on the property where the nuns will live. The first three nuns are to arrive in September. “We are happy to be doing this for them.”

The head of the religious order attributes the growth of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist to several factors. The order sponsors three annual spiritual retreats at which possible candidates can see what religious life is like. The group’s leaders follow up with e-mail.

“Our vocation director corresponds with them, answering their questions,” says Mother Assumpta Long. “After a while, they feel more comfortable.”

Of course, the communities also receive women in mid- career, as well as widows. But it is the interest among the younger women that has surprised church experts.

“For a long time, people thought that women weren’t going to choose this way of life because they had other options,” Bednarczyk says. “And that’s true to a certain extent … but we’re also seeing women — ones with energy and from all walks of life — entering.”

As a symbol of their decision, many are wearing the traditional headdress. Bednarczyk compares it to the growing interest of young Muslim women in wearing the hijab, or veil.

“They’re wearing them as a statement of their faith and their decision. It’s pretty radical.”

Jaeger, the former tennis star, is aware of life outside her religious community. Now 41, the woman who once screamed at linesmen is ministering to children for her foundation, www.littlestar.org. She constantly raises funds for the group, which helps terminally ill and needy children.

Like many of her peers, Jaeger keeps up with pop culture and sports. She does not follow tennis so much anymore, she told Sports Illustrated. But she does watch football. There’s a good chance Sister Andrea will watch Sunday’s game between the Patriots and the Colts. And she’s picked her team.

She says she’s praying for Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.

In my last post about Decoding Formation, I gave a very basic introduction to the idea of formation and discernment. Now here’s a little “behind the scenes” look at what it can sometimes feel like when you discover that maybe, just maybe, God is calling you to religious life.

It all starts with that tiny little part of you that decides that you are going to be open to God’s call. After that, it’s all over. Being open to God’s call sounds like a good and holy thing (and it is), but it can also be rather messy, complicated, and downright uncomfortable. God has this way of thinking that he is, well, God, so often his ideas are not exactly what I had in mind when I first decided to be open to him.

Like the whole religious life thing. Being a nun was not at all on my radar screen. I was taught by a few nuns and even had a couple nun friends … but I did not under any circumstances want to be a nun. So when I was confronted with the possibility (why? because I thought I was being good by trying the “open” thing), I kept thinking, “Who me?? What did I ever do to suggest that I’d think this was a good thing for me??” Turns out that being a nun was the best thing that could have happened to me. But it was a difficult process of letting go of my assumptions about nuns and religious life, coming to terms with my relationship with the Roman Catholic Church, overhauling my relationships with others, and taking a sober look at who I truly am. Even though the process was a bit rocky for me, I wouldn’t change any of it because it helped me to be more in touch with reality, God, myself and others. Even if I didn’t continue in religious life, it would have been one of the greatest blessings of my life.

The initial discovery of a possible vocation is not always this rocky. I for one went kicking and screaming, but others can be very welcoming of God’s call to become a religious. Either way, we all have to go through the process of finding a real answer to the question “who me?” for it forces us to think about how and why God may be calling YOU, not somebody next door, but YOU. That can be an awesome and terrifying thing. At the same time it can be attractive and joyful. These seemingly opposed feelings … terror (“No! Not me! Stay away!”) and attraction (“Yes, I’m kind of liking this. I feel peaceful.”) can happen simultaneously.

The key is to hang in there with all the questioning. Whether it results in a vocation to religious life or not, it doesn’t really matter (even though it feels like that is the main point). The fact is that God is calling you to a deeper relationship with himself. He is trusting that you are ready for this next moment in your lifelong adventure with him. Maybe ultimately you are being drawn to religious life. But what is so much more important than that is being drawn into a relationship with God, wherever that relationship may take you. Embrace the questions, live into the mystery, find a home for both the feelings of terror and attraction, pray, and see what today brings.

For the next installment in this series, click here: Decoding Formation: Initial Inquiry.

My good friend is preparing for her final vows so I’ve been thinking a lot about my own journey to final vows.

The basic elements of the journey of professing vows in religious life are not totally unlike those of the journey of professing vows for marriage. When a couple gets married they usually get engaged first. Engagement is a period of time when the couple publically pledges their commitment to one another, prepares for marriage, and continues to get to know one another more deeply. In religious life, the “engagement” period is known as formation.

Formation is a time when a person pledges their commitment to a particular religious community (that is, they are not still “dating” other communities or people, though they are free to leave should they choose to), prepares to become a religious within that particular community’s tradition, and continues to get to know the members of the community and herself or himself as well. Each religious community may have its own particular nuances to the formation process, however, the basis for the formation process is discernment and the pattern for formation is similar.

Discernment is the grounding of all major life choices, though often we may not be conscious of the fact that we are discerning. In general the term discernment refers to the process of “separating or distinguishing between” or “coming to know or recognize” (Merriam-Webster). In this context, the word discernment is used more specifically to refer to becoming aware of, learning more about, and embracing one’s life calling. Basically, as the Catholic Web site Disciples Now points out, discernment is nothing more than a “fancy word that means figuring out what God is telling us.” Discernment can refer to a particular stage — e.g., discerning a call to religious life — and it can also refer to a mode of being in the world — e.g., to be a discerning person.

A person who is considering becoming a religious (a nun, sister, brother, or monk) is in a discernment mode, that is, figuring out what God is calling them to in terms of making a life commitment. The whole process of formation is one of discernment as a person enters more deeply in relationship with and conversation with God. While discernment to enter religious life may technically come to an “end” when one professes final vows (you pretty much have a good idea of how to answer the question “is God calling me to religious life?”), discernment continues for the rest of one’s life as a person deepens their appreciation of that call or encounters new dimensions of that call or discerns “little” calls within the big call.

So that’s formation and discernment in a nutshell. In future posts I will unpack this a little more and write about the general stages of formation. For next installment of this series, Decoding Formation: who me??.

Questions, comments, queries? Comment or send me an email.

My blog provider Wordpress.com has this nifty little feature that allows me to see what kind of hits I get from search engines. I think it is my favorite feature. Today I was looking at it and found that the search term “how to get out of being a nun”. I don’t know who entered that the search term or why, but I’ve got to say: I feel your pain.

Basically I never wanted to be a nun. I had my life all planned out — and it most certainly did not involve celibacy, obedience or poverty (the three vows we sisters profess). Life has a funny way of not going the way we plan it all the time. While I was in my last year of college I got to thinking about what I was going to do and how I wanted to live my life. I was involved in my Catholic faith community at school (after a couple year hiatus exploring other faith traditions) and considered my options as a single, Catholic woman. I was aiming for married life, having done the “single” thing. A third option, however, was something I had never considered. So, in a (misguided) spirit of fairness, I thought I’d look into religious life just to say that I did. Then I could cross it off the list. Well so much for that. What happened was that the more I looked into it, met sisters/nuns and brothers/monks, the more I was attracted to the lifestyle. All the while I was thinking NOOOOOO! How do I get out of being a nun?????

I tried my best to get out of it. Let’s see … there was ignoring it, not going to church, doing stupid things to make me feel like I was not nun-material, yelling at God, not talking to God, looking up old flames, checking out Buddhism (until I found nuns there too), and taking up running (trust me, it sounded like a good idea at the time; I was willing to try anything to get me as far away from God as possible).

Finally, I gave into it. Best decision of my life.