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Being a Nun Can Be Weird
I love being a nun … it is where I find my deepest joy and peace, where I can truly be myself and flourish into the person God calls me to be. Being a nun opens me to seeing the world in a wonderful light and all kinds of possibilities. Being a nun is as natural as breathing air.
Every so often I get to thinking about myself as a nun. I know that may sound strange. You might think we always think of ourselves as nuns, but we are more about being a nun than thinking about ourselves as nuns. (Yes, I’m going a bit existential on you now.) When I think about myself as a nun, I think it is very weird. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a nun, but sometimes thinking about it catches me off guard. This often comes as a result of bumping into others’ images of nuns and who they expect me to be because I’m a nun. Very awkward sometimes … maybe not at the moment but later when I reflect on it. Some people are shocked to hear me joke with them or talk with them about anything other than holy things. Some find it odd that I have things in common with them. At these times I am VERY conscious of myself as a nun and that’s what’s kinda weird.
It’s like, when you are drinking coffee, do you stop and think, “I am a person who drinks coffee. I am about the drinking of coffee here and now.” Probably not. I know that’s a little more trivial than say a life commitment (what?? coffee trivial??). Still, self-reflection is always kinda weird because we step out of ourselves in order to see ourselves or imagine how others see us. To an extent, this is a good thing but it should never prevent us from being ourselves and not simply an image of ourselves or somebody else’s image of who we “should” be.
Well that’s probably enough existentialism for me this morning. I’m going to sign off and go be a person who drinks coffee now.
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{ 11 comments }
It is weird to find yourself from a different angle. I always start when someone calls me a ‘scholar’ or even more when someone refers to me as a ‘she’ or ‘her’. I never think of myself as a ‘she’ I am just ‘me’!
I have noticed this with my cats too. Every once in a while it just becomes clear that I have four-legged furry things in my house whom I feed and care for like (and better) than my family.
It’s good to look at things from a different angle. It makes the Universe just that much larger…
now for that coffee…
When I was growing up, my parents became close personal friends with two nuns that visited our parish (even now, 20 years later they still come to visit us!). These sisters were (are!) Sisters of Notre Dame and didn’t wear habits. One, Sr. P, is very grandmotherly and sweet. The other, Sr. B, very teacher-like and opinionated! She used to get into fights with my dad over a woman’s place and feminism. She cussed sometimes and played scrabble with my mom until the wee hours of the morning (my mom called her the cheating nun!). I’m so thankful for this picture of being a nun. I learned very early that nun’s are people too. Good people but still people.
I considered being a nun because of them (and also because we went to visit them where they lived once and they had a pool! whoa!). I didn’t become a nun but I thought long and hard about it.
Thanks for this blog!
Nun’s drink coffee!?? Who knew? I think it’s funny…I work at a Catholic hospital and it took me awhile after I started to realize that the sisters are human also…WOW, when the habit changed…they had hair!!!!
Grace,
John Collins
I second this post!
You are a child of God and a sister by the blood of Christ. I can talk to you about Starbuck’s Coffee, Beer and the Totally Amazing Grace of God. I purposely put that out of it’s proper order. The first and foremost thing is God’s Grace. Only sometimes we are like fog clouds and want to hover close to the ground. Sister, may God bless your endeavors, and may all your endeavors be of God. I think of Bill and many others that I would have never got to know, had it not been for you.
Lord Bless You Sis
Reg
I see your point, Sr. Julie. After all, when one is a nun/sister, one is clearly living a countercultural existence. That is unusual, different, odd or even “weird” to many (even to some of those who live it
. I’m thinking since you are a young woman, and a good percentage of sisters are alot older than you are, that can be “weird” too. Plus didn’t you just make your final vows a few years ago? Maybe it will feel more usual as you age.
I do relate to what you say though even though my vocation is more commonplace. From the more existential side of things, I remember when my daughter was first home from the hospital, I would look at her tiny body in the crib and ponder, wow, did that little baby come from me? It was surreal… And today, as her 5’4″, 120 lb body jumped onto my bed while I was watching TV, I thought almost the same thing, wow, did that adult-sized girl come from me? Surrealistic once again. All in all, being a mother was definitely a lot weirder in the beginning though.
I don’t know if everybody takes a deep look at their lives, vocations, identities, and thinks how extra-ordinary they all are. Some people don’t seem to reflect all that much anyway. But for those who do, I bet a lot of folks think it is kinda “weird” to be whatever they are. Mabe it’s because God made us all so unique. Just a thought.
donna
I often think about myself especially as I get older. I got a letter from a girl I taught in the 5th grade in Miami. She sent me a picture of her son who just graduated from law school. She told me I instilled in her values and principles she has passed on to her children. Or when I get a note from a parent or student at graduation time thanking me for taking the time and making a difference in their lives. That is when I sit back and think about myself.
Yes, I think some of it has to do with being a nun, but most of it is what we all experience in our lives, like Donna said about her daughter.
Very cool, Brigid, about your former students. One never expects to be thanked for one’s service, but it sure is nice to hear once in a while … thanks Brother Reg!
That’s great, Brigid. It must be wonderful to know you made a difference!
donna
This post so resonated with me. When I stop to think about it, it blows my mind when I realize “Holy cow! I’m a nun!” Since I have always wanted to be one, I find it amusing that it can be so surprising. I am more of a tea person though. Thanks for sharing!
Much of this boils down to what it means to be “human” and “holy”. Many may not see the realtion of holiness to coffee drinking (and thank you Jesus for coffee!). But what is holiness if it isn’t “wholeness”, completion that is found in Jesus and his gospel? This is the same Jesus who ate, walked, wept,laughed (just look at the apostles. You either had to laugh or cry) and who, according to today’s prices, made $27,000.00 worth of wine for a wedding.
Maybe if we took to heart what Rabbi Abraham Heschel said, “Religion is what you do in the presence of God”, we would more easily find the divine in the seemingly mundane and realize that all of life, from the breviary to the coffee counter, has been kissed and transformed by God, and we could then say with St. Therese of Lisieux, “All is grace”.