A Conduit of God’s Light

Blog Published: October 5, 2007
By Sister Julie

Continuing my reflections on Saint Teresa of Avila …While Teresa was growing up, she was sent to be raised in a monastery (her mom having died when she was younger and an older sister recently moving out of the house to be married). Although Teresa “suffered much” in the first days of being in the monastery, she grew to like being with the nuns.

I was very uncomfortable; but within eight days, I think sooner, I was much more contented than I had been in my father’s house. All the nuns were pleased with me; for our Lord had given me the grace to please every one, wherever I might be. I was therefore made much of in the monastery. Though at this time I hated to be a nun, yet I was delighted at the sight of nuns so good; for they were very good in that house—very prudent, observant of the rule, and recollected. (Life 2.10)

Teresa was profoundly affected by one nun in particular through whom “it pleased our Lord to give me light” (Life 2.12).

I began gradually to like the good and holy conversation of this nun. How well she used to speak of God! for she was a person of great discretion and sanctity. I listened to her with delight. I think there never was a time when I was not glad to listen to her. She began by telling me how she came to be a nun through the mere reading of the words of the Gospel “Many are called, and few are chosen.” This good companionship began to root out the habits which bad companionship had formed, and to bring my thoughts back to the desire of eternal things, as well as to banish in some measure the great dislike I had to be a nun, which had been very great … (Life 3.1)

It is so comforting to me to read about how Teresa’s decision to become a nun wasn’t instantaneous or some life-long dream. She grew into it. I too never had a desire to become a nun (though perhaps a martyr or a hermit! … see earlier post). I knew nuns, grew up with nuns around me, but never felt the urge to become a nun. It’s not that I didn’t like them or wasn’t impressed with how they lived their life. I just didn’t even think of considering myself as a nun any more than a hamster would consider racing in the Kentucky Derby. Much later when I was in grad school, I met an IHM Sister who eventually became a mentor to me in the spiritual life as well as religious life (though that was the farthest thing from my mind when I first got to know her). I can’t tell you how important that relationship was and is to me because very truly “it pleased our Lord to give me light” through her. She helped me grow in my relationship with God and become more of myself.

Through whom has God been pleased to give you light?

Archived Comments

Lisa October 5, 2007 at 4:44 pm

There have been – and continue to be, thankfully – many graced conduits of light. But in response to your question and your reflections on Teresa, I have to mention the priest friend/spiritual director who introduced me (or reintroduced me) as a young adult to Teresa and her spirituality. The focus of the introduction was friendship with God, relationship with the Beloved. He (Fr. John) not only taught me about Teresa but introduced me (and encouraged me) to engage in armchair conversations with Jesus as Teresa did.

Elizabeth October 5, 2007 at 7:52 pm

Well… you, Sister Julie, for one. Your consistently compassionate response to people is a benchmark which I carry around with me. I do my best to be courteous and friendly to everyone I interact with. You help form the vision of being that way.

Jerry, my associate pastor, who showed me that ministers (and other religious) are just people with a mission.

Etty Hillesum – the collection of her writings are called “An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westbrook” She was a young jew in Hitler’s Germany. It takes a fabulous journey through a young woman’s discovery of the Divine. Her’s has the dubious distinction of being the only book I have ever actually marked in ink (intentionally) when I highlighted the passage about how it takes two for humiliation to work. You don’t have to allow someone to move your inner core. I get chills thinking about the Truth of it.

Robert Fulghum – very under-rated mystic of the present time. His fabulous stories are humorous and full of different ways of thinking about the same things. You find yourself thinking about his stories for weeks after.

Rabbi Abraham Kook (said Cook) – Any positive thing that is done in the name of bettering the world is a prayer to the Divine. Any improvement to oneself or helping those around one is a call to the Divine to inhabit your world (paraphrased, of course).

Br. Dominic-Michael OHS October 6, 2007 at 5:32 am

It is certainly an example and a challenge to those of us tasked with the nurture of souls…

Cathy Keller October 6, 2007 at 8:12 am

I remember, and often reflect on, the lives of saints. In my family, when an example of strength, truth, or an example of obedience was called for my father always guided us through a brief history of the said example. St. Catherine of Siena and St. Francis of Assisi were often guides to me. As a child, as now, I am in awe at the Spirit and how He could change the most turbulent, seemingly sinful life into one of grace and love. I fear that since Vatican II the examples of the saints as a treasure for growth in our lives and our children have been lost to Spiderman, Superman, et. al. Mom would read books to us before bed at night about the saints, with an occasional “Winnie the Pooh” (thought to be frivolous). Then came television and things seem to change in the things the family did together. I fear my children suffered as outside influences guided us and other families in other pursuits. A real tragedy. And that I truly regret.

Br. Dominic-Michael OHS October 7, 2007 at 6:39 pm

Cathy, I am one who grew up in a home where it was unheard of to read about or talk about the lives of the Saints. We went to church, and were expected to live good upright Christian lives, but “the Faith” was never made a part of our lives in any real way. The notion of the family as a domestic Church was as foreign to my parents as sushi bars…or at least that is the impression I was left with. There is much I now regret being born into a Protestant family situation…only God knows why it had to be that way.

Sister Julie October 8, 2007 at 7:28 am

Your reflections are wonderful. Thank you for sharing the various people who have mentored you (and a personal “thank you” to Elizabeth). Sometimes we don’t know them as “mentors” at the time; not until much later do we realize how important they were for us. Sometimes it’s even people who annoyed or challenged the heck out of us who were are true mentors!

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