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Interview with a Hermit – loneliness and community
Last week I gave the first installment from an interview I did with Sister Laurel O’Neal (blog: Notes from Stillsong Hermitage), a hermit of the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition — Interview with a Hermit – called by God. Here’s the next installment. I always wondered if hermits feel lonely or if they miss being within a religious community of other nuns … and so I asked …
2) Are you lonely? Do you miss being in community?
No, I am not generally lonely if by that you mean the anxiety to be with people, or to be in touch, etc. I am lonely in the sense of being with God by myself most of the time.
I miss community most when I sing Office because I loved Office in choir. However, I attend daily Mass, and am supported emotionally (loved!) by my parish and local community more generally.
I am not a recluse and I do see people fairly regularly, so no, no loneliness! I do miss community life, however, so enhancing contacts with women religious and other hermits is something I want to do more of.
I really appreciated this, Sister Laurel. Even sisters who lives in community experience loneliness — for me, it is much like you said. One of my married friends spoke of this kind of loneliness too even though she is happily married to a great guy. Sometimes we can misunderstand that loneliness as a problem in our relationships, in our community, etc. but often it is a call … a call to a deeper experience of God. Karl Rahner, the great Jesuit theologian (and my MA thesis subject) wrote often of this. I have come to appreciate it as a kind of “radical loneliness” that can not be quenched but by God. It’s uncomfortable a lot of times, but even in the discomfort there is a peace because it is a sign of God’s presence with us.
UPDATE: remaining interview at Interview with a Hermit – on being a hermit
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{ 4 comments }
Hmmm…I’m a little confused about where Sister Laurel lives. Is Stillsong Hermitage a place where she lives on her own? It sounds like a place where others might live as well, but then she would not be alone.
I’m not sure — I think she lives alone according to what I’ve seen on her blog. I think hermits can live singly but they might live within a broader community of other hermits living singly.
I live in alone. Canon 603 allows hermits to come together in what is called a Laura (all still have their own Rules), but I am the only Canon 603 hermit in the diocese. However, I am part of a parish, and I attend daily Mass here at least several times a week. My parish is very much a supportive community for me; when I refer to local community I mean the people in the town where I live. They are supportive of my life in many ways, just as my parish is specifically.
Sister Julie,
Yes, you said it well. Another term for what you refer to as radical loneliness is existential loneliness (or aloneness or solitude), and it is one of the natural forms of “evil” theologians identify which can lead to (because it calls for) communion with others. So yes, it can be uncomfortable but it signals what we are made for, and what God constantly calls us to.
all my best