How to Become a Catholic Nun
Ever wonder if God might be calling you to become a Catholic nun or sister? Don’t know where to begin now that you feel drawn to looking into religious life?
You’ve landed on the right page. Here you’ll learn about how to become a Catholic sister or nun. You’ll get a general idea of where to start, what the general logistics are, and some helpful hints from someone who’s been there and is now a Catholic sister. My intention here is just to get you started on your way. As you move towards checking out a religious community, check in with vocation director who can give you specifics about how that particular community goes about the steps for becoming a nun. Also, be sure to check out the “Prerequisites for Becoming a Catholic Sister or Nun” at the bottom of this post.
NOTE: Here is a downloadable and printable version of this post: How to Become a Catholic Nun PDF. (format PDF, 1.4 MB)
How to Become a Nun
1. Pray
The most important place to begin is to pray (or continue praying) about this call you sense. Your feeling that God is calling you is not some fluke or self-conjured up idea; it is a gift from God, an invitation into a deeper relationship with God. No matter how your vocation ends up expressing itself (nun, spouse, parent, teacher, advocate, etc.), you are being called right here, right now, to draw closer to God.
Be open to listening to God, no matter how crazy or confusing it feels. Embrace the possibility of whatever God has in mind for you. It may be a radical shift to a different way of life than you imagined for yourself, or it may be something you’ve kinda known all along. And it could be both!
Remain faithful to pray even when it is difficult or feels like it is going nowhere. Spend more time in prayer and/or be more intentional in the prayer time that you already have. If you are used to praying first thing in the morning, consider praying again before you go to bed. Review your day and ask God to help you see how God has been with you in the daily stuff of life. If you are drawn to the Rosary, consider praying the Rosary with the specific intention of knowing more deeply how Mary and how Jesus responded to their calling.
Read scripture, particularly the stories of people trying to figure out how God is calling them and how they can respond. Here are some of those stories (for more check out this listing of Bible stories from vocations.ca):
- Mary (Luke 1:26-38)
- Ruth (Book of Ruth 1:15-18)
- Disciples (John 1:35-50)
- Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1: 4-10)
- Isaiah (Isaiah 6:1-10; 49:1-6)
- Samuel (1 Samuel 3:1-21)
- John and Peter (Matthew 4:18-22)
- Paul (Romans 1:1-7; Acts of the Apostles 9:1-19)
Imagine yourself in the story. How would you respond? What words is God speaking to you?
Pray with others. Participate in the Eucharistic Liturgy, attend to a bible study or faith-sharing group, pray with others who can encourage and support you.
2. Meet Nuns
Do you know any real nuns? Do you have nuns at your parish or school? Do you work with nuns? Getting to know nuns personally is a very important step in becoming a nun because each one is an example of how to live religious life “for real”. Also, interacting with nuns gives you a chance to begin to imagine yourself as a nun and see how it “fits”. You don’t even have to tell the nuns that you are scoping them out! I spent a good amount of time doing “nun surveillance” before ever saying anything to them (well, just one of them) about what I was thinking. Some nuns “fit” with how I felt God calling me; others, while stellar examples of religious, didn’t quite fit me. I learned that that was okay and that religious life is very diverse, and along the way I found that I was called to the IHM way of religious life.
What are some ways you can do nun surveillance or interact with nuns?
- attend Mass or a prayer service at a religious community’s Motherhouse or convent
- go on retreat held by or led by nuns
- participate in a “nun run” (an event in which you travel from convent to convent with other discerning women in order to check out communities and get to know a variety of nuns)
- take a course or workshop taught by a nun
- pretend you have a problem with a paper you’re writing for your nun professor so you get one-on-one time (I had this mastered, but then I think she figured it out — she never let on!)
- invite a nun out to dinner or a movie
- help a nun fix her computer or start a Facebook page
- volunteer at a convent by helping with transportation needs or by organizing a craft experience or by shelving library books or by participating in some kind of social justice advocacy with them
- get a spiritual director who is a nun
- attend an event at which there is likely to be a high population of nuns
If you are in a place where there are no nuns around, you can do online nun surveillance.
- read A Nun’s Life and check out other Blogs by Catholic Nuns and see what the nuns are like — lurk all you want
- visit religious communities’ websites (VISION Vocation Network has a great directory of Catholic religious communities online) — many sisters’ websites feature personal stories as well as info on the community itself
- sign up for Facebook and friend a nun (I’m on FB and would be happy to be friended!)
- find websites of ministries run by or sponsored by nuns to get a feel for their ministries (e.g., Sandalstrap, Mount Providence Child Development Center, EarthSpirit, Villa Maria Academy, Heartworks Art Ministry)
3. Talk with a Mentor
There’s nothing like saying something out loud to make it really real! So start talking to trusted people about your attraction to religious life. These mentors could be family or friends. You might have a dear aunt or a close cousin that you can share you thoughts without fear of being discouraged. Talk with friends whom you know that will be supportive of you while you explore religious life and this feeling of being called to become a nun.
You may also consider talking with someone like a nun or a priest or a chaplain. There are many leaders in parishes and schools that are there to listen and encourage you on your spiritual journey. A more intense way of doing this is by looking into spiritual direction. A spiritual director is someone who is trained to help you discern, think, and pray about how God is moving in your life. Most are familiar with religious life (many in fact are religious) and can be great mentors and sounding boards as you consider where you are and where you are going.
4. Contact a Religious Community
You’ll know when it’s the right time for you to move from learning about nuns and religious life to formally exploring religious life with a specific community. It can be a leap of faith making this transition, but remember, just because you contact a religious community doesn’t mean you are signed up for life. Religious communities know that it can take a while for people to get to know them and religious life in general. They welcome you where you are at and are there to help you discern if God is calling you to their particular community.
So how do you do contact a religious community? If you know a nun in the community you are attracted to, ask her. She’ll be a good companion (if you want her to) along the way and will introduce you to the Vocation Director and other sisters if you so desire. If you don’t know a nun personally in the community, contact the Vocation Director of the community directly. You can find her name and contact info on the community’s website. You can also contact the Vocations Office in your diocese. They have tons of info to help you discern and find a community that “fits” for you. To find your diocese’s vocation office, consult the U.S. Catholic Bishops’ directory of dioceses.
VISION Vocation Network also has their directory of Catholic religious communities which you can use to find contact info for Vocation Directors. They also have a very innovative and helpful online Vocation Match feature.
5. Work with the Vocation Director
The vocation director of a particular religious community is the official person who helps you to get to know the community and to discern God’s call in your life. The Vocation Director is a member of the community that you are considering joining. Her job is to help you get to know the community and to help the community get to know you. She’ll be the one that leads you through all the formal steps of becoming a nun within that particular religious community. While you are relating with the vocation director, you are not under any obligation to stay with that community. You may decide to look into other communities or to date someone. Don’t be afraid to do this. Explore and experience the things you need to in order to find out if religious life with a particular community is for you. Vocation directors are very understanding of this and know that it is a normal part of discerning.
As you come to your own sense of commitment to becoming a nun, you’ll grow in your own sense of wanting to be committed to this particular community. That’s when you move toward “breaking up” with other communities you’ve looked into or with the person you’ve been dating. You’ll know when the time is right.
Some things that you might do as you work with a vocation director:
- meet regularly in person or by phone
- attend a vocation retreat with other women that the vocation director is working with
- go to the sisters’ community events such as Mass, particular meetings or workshops just for the sisters, etc.
- explore the community’s motherhouse and campus
- learn about the community’s charism, spirituality, history, and mission
- visit organizations and ministries sponsored by the community
- attend vocation-oriented events within the diocese
- help her get to know you by having her visit your school or job or taking her to your favorite hang-outs
- discuss religious life and the vows
When you and the vocation director are ready to officially move forward with your desire to join the community, you’ll probably move more into working on the formal steps for joining the community:
- address the practical requirements to enter the community (Canon Law, finances, property, psychological and physical assessments, etc.)
- envision your transition into the community (when, where, how)
- formally meet with other members of the vocation team and with the congregational leader (General Superior)
The vocation director will lead you through all of these things and is there as your advocate. She’s there to encourage you, challenge you, and pray with you. Although she is the official link to the community, you are encouraged to befriend others in the community.
6. Join the Community
Once you and the community have discerned that yes, in fact, God is calling you to one another, you go through the formal steps of joining. These include:
- Aspirancy / Pre-Candidacy (more to come on each of these)
- Postulancy / Candidacy
- Novitiate
- First Vows
- Final Vows
Prerequisites for Becoming a Catholic Sister or Nun
a. You must be a Catholic woman.
If you are not Catholic, there are other forms of religious life in Christian communities that are not exclusively Catholic (e.g., Benedictine Women of Madison) as well as in other religious traditions (e.g., Buddhist nuns). If you wish to become a Catholic, talk with a pastor at a local Catholic parish.
b. You must be single.
You cannot be currently married in the eyes of the Church. If you are, you must obtain an annulment in order to consider becoming a nun. Widows may validly become nuns.
c. You must not have any dependent children.
There are many women who have children who become nuns. The children, however, must no longer be dependent.
d. You must not have any debts upon entrance to the novitiate.
Novitiate is usually a year or two into the formal process of becoming a nun. If you do have debts, work to eliminate them. Don’t stop looking into a religious community because of a student loan or something similar. Talk with the vocation director about how to proceed.
e. You must be healthy.
It’s important that you be physically and psychologically able to engage in the mission of the religious community. However “healthy” is a relative term and doesn’t automatically exclude people with managed illnesses or disabilities. This is an important thing to discuss with the vocation director.
f. You must 18 to 40-ish years old.
Although the age limit used to be confined to 18-25, communities accept women up to age 40, and many accept women beyond their 40s and into their 50s. If you are in the higher range of age, don’t be discouraged from pursing religious life. Often this is addressed on a person-by-person basis.
g. Other considerations
A college degree is not an absolute prerequisite; however, many religious communities do encourage that you have at least a bachelor’s degree prior to entering. Professional experience (not necessarily a full-fledged career, though that is welcomed too) is also encouraged prior to entering.
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{ 74 comments… read them below or add one }
God bless you. This is a wonderful insight into becoming a religious; it is something that I often contemplated as a child. I’m now 32 and single, and have returned to study to become a primary school teacher. I’m exploring my calling through becoming more involved in my church and praying for guidance. The Lord has led me along this path and I often wonder where I might end up, but this is for Him to know and me to find out. I place my trust and faith in Him. Would the above steps be similiar in Australia? Is there someone you could direct me to here in Western Australia to speak with? I appreciate any input on your behalf in advance. Kind regards, Angela.
Dear Angela, Thank you for writing. It sounds like you’re in a good place of openness to whatever adventure God invites you into. These steps are similar in Australia as well as throughout the Universal Church. There are of course nuances across countries, dioceses, and even individual congregations.
Let me do some looking for you. One place to start is Sister Sarah’s blog The Nun Thing. Sarah is a novice sister with a community in Australia. You can contact her via her blog. You might also check in with the Sisters of Mercy of Australia. I’ll let you know if I think of others. Blessings. Sister Julie
Sister, I think this is a great and wonderful explanation in plain English about religious life and can be applied to both male and female aspirants (can’t forget those monks and brothers, haha
). For me one of the biggest concerns has always been debt since I’m still in college and the cost of education (especially at a private school) is astronomical.
As you say though, vocation directors are always open about talking about any of the spiritual and practical aspects of the process. The discerning process seems monumental, but by the same token exciting as well so for anyone who’s discerning, I hope you don’t give up!
Angela,
Welcome!
If you want to find a couple of fellow Aussies – click onto the Vocation Forum tab at the top of this page.
There are two of us there, myself Christine H and Discerner from Down Under.
Blessings
Christine H
Hi!
Thanks so much for the information. I have been looking at religious life since I was in 8th grade and am currently a sophomore in college, and have looked at many different list of the pocess but you seem to be the most condensed and easy to understand.
I enjoy your blog and think it is wonderful how you share the life an IHM with all those who are discerning their call, it is a really eay way to see inside without comitting to anything before your ready to become involved with orders on a personal level. I am so happy that the IHM sisters that I know told me about this site because it is nice to know there is a blog even for us discerners! God Bless!
Ray … yes, I think much of this could apply for becoming a monk or brother. Discerning God’s call is something we all have in common!
ChristineH … great suggestion! Thanks for reaching out to others.
Sarah … Glad you found this site too and I’m happy to know that you know my nuns too.
I remember my discernment time to be pretty exciting but also a little scary because I didn’t know what to expect and was nervous about concretizing my “possible” attraction to religious life by (God forbid) actually making contact with a religious community!!! Fortunately I already knew nuns personally but it took a little while even to let them know that I might want to be part of the sisterhood that they had given their lives to.
Dear Angela,
A new religious community has been established in the Archdiocese of Perth, called the Missionaries of the Gospel. I would recommend them to you if you are discerning. Their website is: http://www.mg.org.au.
God bless you!
In the Lord,
Tara
Thanks, Julie….I’m going to put in a link to this page…
sy
Can you send me any liturature on how to become a nun?
Thank You & Blessings…
Dear Deborah, thank you for asking. Please visit Sister Mary Bea, my IHM Sister who works with people who want to become an IHM Sister. Click here for her contact information. Blessings!
There are also Orders for non-Catholic women. I am an Anglican, and professed member of the Third Order Society of St Francis, which is an order for married, single, ordained, lay, male, or female members. We area “community in dispersion” – we have a common Rule, make full life vows, and meet regularly for prayer and Eucharist, but pursue ordinary occupations. I’m married with a small daughter, work full-time, and am still a Sister! Works well for me!
The Third Order is not an Associate programme, as we are an Order in our own right and make the three vows of simplicity, chastity (interpreted as not possessing people – if married, being only with your spouse, and if single, not sexually active), and obedience to our Order and our Bishops.
TSSF is all over the world, with a big presence in Australia and New Zealand.
Pax
Robyn
Thanks for the info, Robyn. I’ll be visiting the Third Order Society of Saint Francis website to learn more about your community.
Hello, Sister Julie… It’s a pleasure to meet you (even though it’s by on-line wordage). Your site is quite extensive. I have yet to begin to read it all, but I have all the intent to read the numerous soliloquies (along with the informative captions you have here and there). Needless to say, I think your site is lovely.
Means that I couldn’t sleep, I decided to send you a word or two (or should I say several). In all earnest, I stumbled onto your site, oh, I’d say, a month ago, and I have yet to write you. And, well, there’s something I’d like to share… I just wanted to say that I have devised another strategy to get to know Sisters (4). I’m pleased to say I used a holiday as an excuse (although no reason is as good as any) to bake them an obscure European pastry of which they’ve never heard of.
Needless to say, it was a success! ((Talk about praying! I may have been bold and daring, but I was equally unsure (almost nervous) as to whether they would find my little pastry pleasing.)) The joy of baking… Voila! Bombarded with compliments! Big relief! A wonderful door of opportunity (though just a beginning) has opened widely.
My Summation: Bake it and pray. (I think I’ll be having tea sometime this month with one of them… Maybe three. Mission accomplished.)
May you be in good health and spirit,
R.
Rachel, Thank you so much for writing! I absolutely love your idea and am so glad that it gave you a good opening to be with the sisters. And I think that “Bake it and pray” are great words to live by. Blessings to you as you continue to get to know the sisters and grow in the love of God.
This is great information, Sister Julie! Very thorough and helpful. And I do recommend the Vocation Match component at VISION Vocation Network. A woman who was recently visiting us said she was much more successful finding matches there, than on match.com!
Yes! Vision Vocation Network is probably one of the best online resources for connecting with a religious community. They also have good stuff on discernment and vocations in general. LOVE the comment about Vocation Match!
Thanks for this website! How do I friend you on facebook Sister Julie? Is that enough info? I was Episcopalian and converted three years ago, are there any charismatic orders out there in the US or abroad?
God bless,
Amy
PS I feel a strong call, but am unsure how to proceed, are there American nuns in Rome? Went there and loved it!
Hi Amy! I can never find anyone on Facebook even though they are there! I’m Julie Vieira IHM (using “Sister” is illegal!). I found you and sent you a friend request.
I’m not familiar with communities that are specifically charismatic although I know there are charismatic sisters. Perhaps others could respond here about what they know about charismatic communities. And yes, there are many American nuns abroad, including Rome. My own IHM nun, Sister Sharon Holland, works at the Vatican. Is there a specific community or kind of community that you are looking for? E.g., contemplative, international, missionary, teaching, active in the world, cloistered, teaching, etc.?
If you are interested in connecting with other people discerning God’s call, check out the Vocation Forum here on A Nun’s Life: http://anunslife.org/vocationforum . Blessings, Amy.
http://anunslife.org/vocationforum
Howdy!
I am 18 and I live in Texas and everytime I come back to this website and read this I feel very comforted. I have thought about becomming a nun since I was 10, and I feel this need to keep that option open. I am a freshman at Texas A&M University, and I am studying pre-medicine.
I was wondering if I could ask for some general information about some of the orders. What makes them unique from one another? I would like to finish college and medical school before I decide, and to get out of debt may take until I am 30. But if I still feel this way and I still feel God is calling me to do this, then I hope 30 isn’t too old to start!
THank you for answering my questions!
Hi Mary-Elizabeth. That’s a big question! Religious communities are as different as families are different. There’s the same basic structure but how each lives it’s mission and the gospel is unique. Some are cloistered, some are living in the world. Some are missionaries in other countries, others are missionaries in their local community. Some take jobs in the “secular” sphere, others within parishes or other Church ministries. It varies greatly. I’ll shoot you an email to see what you are thinking about in this regard. I encourage you to get to know some sisters now and look into what religious life is. And thirty is not too old to actively pursue becoming a nun!
i have been searching religious sites and now I found the best one!!!It is really makes people more informed and be guided especially to know what really God’s desire for every person’s life.
I have been teaching here In China for almost a year and really enjoy with my Chinese students.Though, it’s really enjoy and really can help them;my life still searching and finding what really God’s desire for my life…thinking something,and let my mind be in peace,but it keeps asking why?what?…something I can’t really understand.Sometimes I thought What does really God want me?and one day,when I was in my room…there was a thought saying,I would be a nun…I dont know if It’s God calling or I have the calling from God.
do you have other examples of christian but non-catholic orders? for the past three easters i have been thinking deeply about contemplative life. it is kind of scary, but this blog has been really helpful. after talking with my pastor about it some, i believe it could be a possibility, your description of discernment is incredibly reassuring. but i’m not catholic, and altho i’m open to conversion, if there are listings of other orders, i’d really appreciate it. thanks!
Hi Mel, I’m not familiar with many of them. I wrote another post that has some more references — Do you have to be Catholic to be a nun? Is there a particular Christian tradition within which you would be looking for a community? Let me know and I can do a bit more research for you. You might also contact the Benedictine Women of Madison and ask for their advice because they are probably more familiar with the different communities of Christian sisters and nuns.
When I was 2 and half years old, I got hit by a car doing 45 miles an hour. I was in a coma for about 2 months. They tought I was going to die. A priest came in (I was on my last rights) and said a prayer for me. The next morning the blessed mother appeared to my mother and told her I was going to be ok. About 20 minutes later the phone rang, it was the hospital saying that I woke up and appeared to be fine. I still had a broken leg in 3 places but everything else was healed. They couldn’t explain it. I have always wondered why my life was spared. I have always felt this incredible closeness to god. Just wanted to share my story and see what you think…
I forgot to add few details, I had a concusion, collasped lung, internal bleeding and had to spend 9 months in a body cast after I woke up. It was 1965.
Wow, Cindy, you’ve been through a lot. I pray that you are doing well now and that you still experience that closeness to God. What a gift!
What age is good to be a Catholic Nun ?
Hi Luz, I think it’s good to be exploring what it means to be a nun at any age because it can help you sort out how God is calling you at that moment. The general age range is usually 18-40 … I began seriously considering religious life when I was 25 and entered when I was 27. I think it’s good to have some educational and professional background and to know how to handle stuff like getting a job, keeping up car payments or bills, living on your own, etc. It ultimately has to do with God’s call to you.
I have just come across this page on the Conference of Anglican Religious Orders in the Americas site.
http://www.caroa.net/members.php
It may be helpful for Mel or others who are not Roman Catholic.
Here is a protestant, non-Anglican Church, sisterhood. They are sometimes called “Lutheran nuns”, but I don’t know if they would call themselves that.
http://www.kanaan.org/international/default.htm
I almost joined these sisters! I had no clue that there were nuns outside the Catholic Church.
thank you so much for having this website. it has answered a lot of questions for me. peace be with you
Dear Sister Julie,
I wish I could adequately describe what a blessing this website and your words have been to me. I was raised in a secular family, but I felt such a strong, beautiful love for and from Jesus as a little girl. I sought to be more connected to faith, I joined a youth group and jumped at every chance to go to church with my friends. As I grew into a young woman I did a lot of determining. I really tried to make sense of suffering and injustice. I think I tried to rationalize life in this world and in doing so I rationalized my faith, thinking my inspirations, compassion and call for God were just one of the best parts of everyone’s human nature. (Although, lately, it’s occured to me, maybe I have had a calling since I was a child, I remember how all of the adults used to be tickled pink when I said I wanted to be hermit when I grew up:) What a sweet relief it is to read the words of the Sisters on this site, aaah I can finally feel normal in my nuttiness! I realized the process isn’t at all as I worried it would be and now I feel free to pursue my persistent dream. I’ve been attending Mass where I live, your website gave me the courage to broach the subject of my conversion. Thank you a million times over. I will always keep you in my prayers.
I want to be a nun. I am never married and 34 years old. By birth, I am not a Christian and need some guidance/steps to put my foot to serve god. I am from Asia.
Hi Sara, This page is a good place to start if you are interested in becoming a Catholic Christian nun — it’s also helpful for other kinds of nuns, but more specific to the Catholic way. Are you interested in becoming a Christian or would you like to see if becoming a nun is possible in your religious tradition?
Dear Jennifer, What a lovely note! Thank you for writing and for sharing a bit of your journey with us. My prayers are with you as you continue to grow into the beautiful woman that you are!
sister or nun julie you don’t give me any person name or phone no to whom i can consult about that how can i make a nun . I need your help about this matter can you please give me your personal side where i can contact to you.I had search your all side but there is no responce and i can’t find it.
Hi Hema, Thanks for your messages. I’ve sent several emails to you directly with information that will help you including phone numbers of persons you can contact. If you did not receive those emails, please let me know or send me one that works. Many thanks.
Sister Julie,
What a blessing this article is. I have been struggling to discern whether I am called to the married or religious life. Though the frustration is still there, I am trusting that I will hear Gods call when He thinks I am ready.
I am fortunate to go to a Catholic college that is very close (both in friendship and distance) to several religious orders. Visiting these orders is something I would like to intentionally pursue when I return in the fall. In the meantime, I am just praying that my eye’s be open to His will and that I can let go of anything holding me back from embracing His call. It is websites like this that witness to His name. Thank-you.
Bless you sister. I will keep you in mind.
Sister Julie,
I am so grateful for your words of wisdom. Becoming a nun has always been a dream of mine since I was very small (about 3-4 :p)! Your advice has given me hope that one day I will fulfill my dream.
what a cowinky-dink! After reading your suggestions, I would like to ask you to a movie sometime;).
I had my close personal friend (who just so happens to be a nun, Sister Ethel) find you on facebook and she says you live in Chicago just like me
I have been making a facebook page and maybe I will poke you once I have finished. Possibly you could give me more information on following my calling. Hope to hear from you soon, many thanks! x
Hi Rosemary, Nice to meet you! Yes, do poke me when you get your Facebook page up and running. You can “fan” the A Nun’s Life FB page and “friend” me.
sister or nun julie i want to say thank you that u give me some ideas to how can i become a nun but the website u give these are not usefull for me because there are some error so they can’t open.can help me about this matter i really need your help about to need some contact person & phone no who can help to made me nun. Sister please help me . hema sharma from delhi.
Hi Hema, Try the following …
Fr. Manikya Raju from the Archdiocese of Delhi
email: smanikya (AT) yahoo (DOT) co (DOT) uk — replace the stuff in parentheses with the appropriate symbols.
Sacred Heart Cathedral
1, Ashok Place, New Delhi – 110 001
Telephone: 23363593
Sister,
I have been thinking about becoming a nun and find that the cloistered orders appeal to me, especially the Carthusians. I’m unmarried, but older (early 50s) and wonder that they’d even consider me. Since there are no monasteries here in the USA, how could I possibly visit them even if they were interested in me?
Hi, my name is Karli Koning. I am 13 (14 in september) and I have the strongest drawing to becoming a nun. It started when I saw a program about Mother Teresa about 2 months ago and how she was a nun who became a saint. I am praying for guidence and have talked to my parents about it and they say i’m too young although Teresa was very young when she started nunhood. I was wondering if I AM too young and how I can get started? Also i am strongly Catholic.
Sister Julie,
Thank you so much for creating this blog. I have been praying about this calling I have felt tugging at my heart since I was 16. I am 18 now and I know that is still young, but I honestly believe that the sisterhood is where I belong. I am very confused, excited, and extremely nervous about what all of this means. I just googled “nun” and this came up and it could not have been any better! Thank you so much for this guidance! I do wish to find some answers the more I explore with what you have suggested. I would just like to thank you again so much for leading me in the right direction!
God Bless,
Rebecca
Dear Rebecca, I am delighted that you found this blog. The folks who write and visit here are wonderful — supportive and insightful. My prayers are with you. Be sure to check out the Vocation Forum here at A Nun’s Life. Blessings on your exploration of how God is calling you. Let me know if I can support you in any way.
sister,
i was grateful that i was able to get a chance to read your blogs.
i have already accepted the call of God, but one very important question is left unanswered, and that is in where should i let myself be called, in active life or in contemplative.. right now my heart is more on the contemplative side….. i really want to be a monk, but my mentors told me to try first the active life for me to make us of my charisma first before seriously taking in the life of deep prayer. pls. help me sister…
Dear Tisha, Thank you for writing. It is difficult to recommend which way to go, especially because there are most religious communities have both dimensions of active and contemplative though to varying degrees and with various expressions. Even the most active communities honor the contemplative life — it’s what sustains us in our ministry. And contemplative communities often have some form of ministry that they engage in above and beyond their life and ministry of prayer. Contemplative praying is something that any kind of nun and any person for that matter can learn and grow in. In fact I’ll write about contemplative prayer in today’s post — what it is and resources to help guide you.
Back to your question … I recommend that you spend time thinking about what you want to do and be in life — not specifically about being a nun. Do you want to work with people? live in community? work in the church, work with the poor and vulnerable? travel? learn a new language and culture? stay put in one place? What gifts and talents do you have that you’d like to develop? What attracts you and gives you energy? Think and pray through these questions remembering that God is using all these things to attract you and grow in relationship with you.
Also, I encourage you to get to know sisters. Religious Life is not a solitary life. It’s not simply about one’s personal pursuit of God — it’s about living together for God. So who the sisters are in a community is an important piece of information when deciding what community to look into.
Blessings on your discernment, Tisha.
Bless you for this wonderful article! Though I am not Catholic myself, a dear and close friend of mine and she is very much wanting to become a Sister. Her family is mixed on supporting the idea so having unbiased information helps to point her in the right direction.
Mazel tov, Sister Julie!
Hi Lamt, I encourage you to check out the post Becoming a Nun after 40ish. There are some communities mentioned there that will work with women over 40 and into their 50s. You might start with the men’s Carthusian Monastery of the Transfiguration in Vermont. Their website says, “We permit only vocational retreats, i.e., for those who believe they are called or who are discerning a possible call to the Carthusian life, and only after some preliminary requirements (a questionnaire, two letters of reference, further questions) are satisfied.” I’m not sure if this means just men but it’s worth inquiring. You might also check out other enclosed religious communities and see if their life and mission attract you — e.g. Carmelite, Camaldolese, Dominican nuns. Blessings on your discernment, Lamt.
Hi Karli, Thanks for writing. You are not too young to think about religious life and discern, but probably a bit too young to begin formal entrance! Even though you can’t begin the process of becoming a nun, you can prepare yourself with prayer, getting to know nuns, and discerning how God is calling you in your life now. I encourage you to spend time with #1-3 above. It’s also important to explore what your gifts and talents are and how you can develop them in service to God and God’s people. This will be great preparation as you consider becoming a nun and ministering as a nun. Blessings, Karli!
Dear Sister Julie,
I am 42 years old and know that God has a calling for me. I’ve lived a sinful life that I was a slave to, to the extent of being spiritually tormented for the last 3 1/2 years. Actually it has been there my whole life, but about 3 1/2 years ago I started being able to see beyound the vail. I was at first very affraid, but since then have repented of my sins and have given up my will and know the the Holy Spirit is with me and will comfort and bring me peace in any path which he leads me.
I am married and my husband is 54 years old. If he passes before I do, my true desire is to become a nun, do you think this maybe posible? By reading your website I am not sure. Can you give me your feed back and any other suggestions that you have.
God Bless,
Katie
P.S
I was baptised Catholic as a baby, but am not a practing Catholic. I would do all which is required to do this. Also, I was married in a church but not a Catholic church , would any of the above mentioned make it imposable to pursue becoming a nun?
Dear Katie, Thank you for writing to me and telling me a bit about your life. The usual age range for becoming a sister is 18-40 and some communities go up to the early 50s or so. In addition, you do have to be a practicing Catholic and you cannot have any dependents. Honestly I’m not sure that becoming a Catholic nun would be possible. But it’s not impossible to become associated with a religious community and/or to develop some spiritual practices that are more contemplative and help you be more in tune with God and with others. I encourage you to think about renewing your faith and learning more about God and prayer. Also if you are attracted to the life and spirituality of a particular religious community, see if they have lay associates or affiliates or other ways that you can be part of the wider community with them. Blessings, Katie.
Marian Greetings!
i love it..as a person undergoing a discernment process will help me a lot..everybody isa callde to be holy but only few are called to be religious..
rest assured of my prayers..
Ave Maria..
-ten
Dear Sr. Julie,
I’m so happy to have found your blog!
My question has to do with mental illness. If a woman has shown success as a lay person in a career (I’m a librarian at a university), would my diagnosis of bipolar illness exclude me from consideration?
Peace to you,
Anne Therese
Dear Anne Therese, Thank you for writing! I’m also glad that you found our blog. You ask a good question. Check out a discussion we had at Discerning Religious Life with Persons who have a Managed Mental Illness and also the links contained in this post. There’s no clear-cut answer to your question. “My general sense is that communities discern with candidates on a person-by-person basis. There is no absolute rule that says if you have x, y, or z illness you cannot become a religious. A lot has to do with how well the individual is living with it and to what extent the community has the ability/support systems/understanding to support the person. These considerations all takes place within the mode of discernment, of prayerfully and expectantly seeking God’s Word to oneself and also to the community.”
I encourage you to get to know a religious community that you are attracted to. Spend time with them and get to know one another outside of a vocation-discernment mode. You will get a sense of what they are like and how God’s call to you “fits” with your experience of them. When you are ready, get in touch with the Vocation Director. I would at some point let her know about your diagnosis but it has to be when you are comfortable with sharing that. Some Vocation Directors may have no idea what that means so you will have to be prepared to explain what it is and what it’s like to live with bipolar illness and how you manage it. As I’m sure you are aware, there are stigmas attached to persons with mental or emotional illnesses (physical illness for that matter), and those are issues you may have to wade into. Your diagnosis is something that would remain confidential and be made known only to the vocation team and leadership team as they would be part of the discerning group.
Blessings to you, Anne Therese. I encourage you to pursue this and explore more how God is calling you. Please let me know how I can help.
Sister Julie-
Would you please explain the reasons for the 40-50 year old age limit to becoming a nun? Do men have the same limits? Thank you for all you do-
Karen
Dear Sr. Julie,
How are you?
I am very happy to read your writings. I used to visit and attend the activities of the Catholic Sister here in our province. I have started to join them after my college retreat which was held in their place. I can’t really explain what I feel every time I was with them. The only thing I can say is that it’s fullfilling. I remeber,When I was in grade school our teacher used to ask me what I want to be when I grow up. Then you know what? I directly said that I want to be a nun. My teacher laugh at me and said how did you know? your only 11 year old. I answered I just really want.
Now, I am 21 year old. I already finished my college studies and currently working in the University where I was earned my degree. and the feeling that I have is still same when I was 11 year old. However, I am very busy with my job now which I also enjoy.
Just out of curiosity, and though I think that I know the answer, I would still like to verify it. If you have tattoos, being a nun is out of the picture, right?
Hi Rebecca, You can have tattos and be a nun!
Sister Julie,
My 52nd birthday was Sept 2……..even at this “advanced” age, I keep coming back to my childhood dream of becoming a nun. Single, and a registered nurse, I long for a more spiritual life spent serving God through direct patient care along with daily worship.
Any guidance you can lend would be greatly appreciated!
Cindy
Dear Cindy, Thank you for writing. Your words are filled with a sense of calling and of service. 52 is on the later side of the age range for becoming a nun but I don’t think it’s out of the question. However, keep in mind that the process of becoming a nun takes about 7 years. Still, there are a number of communities who would be happy to get to know you. There’s some more info here on this post: Becoming a Nun after 40ish.
Also, you might want to consider becoming an Associate or Affiliate — a lay woman (married/single) who shares in the mission and spirituality of the community but is not under vows.
No matter what age you are, there are things you can do and ways to be of service. I encourage you to think about your gifts and talents and about what you would absolutely love to do. There are so many people in need and organizations that would love your help. Look for something that has a sense of community so that you are supported and encouraged in your work and in your life.
Hi Karen, Thanks for your question. The second part is easier! Yes, men have the same limits. As to the first question, it’s not a simple answer and I’m not really sure of all the reasons. But from what I’ve gathered, the age cutoff is for a number of reasons. The ones I regularly hear are 1) a person entering has to have the energy to take on fully the mission and ministry of the religious community, and 2) a person has to be open to being “formed” in religious life. Again, these are some of the reasons I’ve heard and I’m not saying they are valid or invalid ones. Religious life is a life commitment and generally oriented to those who have “their whole lives ahead of them”. I’m not sure what that means now in today’s society (at least in mainstream U.S.) adolescence is prolonged and life commitments are made much later in life than even a generation or two ago. I know that many religious communities do consider those over 40 or 50 on a case-by-case basis as there are always exceptions to the rule.
Good day,
I was trying to find out what the names are of the times of prayer for sisters. It was at least once upon a time accompanied by a number of bells. Matins I believe is the name of one of them. If you could ever do an article about what they are called or email me with that info I would be ever so apprciative. I just found this web site today and have found it immensely fresh and enjoyable. Its so
nice to find something on the internet that reminds one of the higher
nature and purpose in life. The video of the young nun taking her vows was so moving and sweet.
Thank you for such a bright moment!
Sincerely
Jan Marie Lloyd
Hi Jan … Check out this post I wrote … Praying the Liturgy of the Hours. Love this form of prayer. As a ministerial religious sister, I do not live a monastic life but still try to and try to incorporate at least morning prayer in my day.
This is a great page! I just found it, PRAYER is key! The best way to get to know your spouse and the foundation of all your apostolic work. I’m entering the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist (DSMME) next year. They are a solid order. They pray the Liturgy of the Hours and have a monastic life, since they follow the Dominican tradition (sistersofmary.org). Amy, I do know of a young lady who entered a more charismatic order in Florida, but I have to look up the name. She is a beautiful young lady. I met her on a retreat with the DSMME. I’m praying for all of you!
I was wondering if it would be okay to copy and print out your page to give out to customers. We run a catholic store and often have girls or parents who have questions on how to become a nun or where to start. This is a wonderful reference and I would love to be able to have this to hand out to those that are hopeful to become a nun.
Hi Alyson, I’ll do you one better. I’ll make a PDF of the info and email it to you. Just ask that you keep the link and copyright for aNunsLife.org. Will email soon. We’re honored that you can use this to help others. Blessings.
Good Morning Sister,
I have few words that can really tell you how I feel but your site is very helpful and motivational. I believe God has guided me here and your words give me hope of something I have not felt before, “True Purpose”.
I have been adrift for most of my life searching for a purpose, a reason why I am here but I had been unsuccessful. Several years ago I was awakened to my true self and since then I have had many awakenings to my personal self but still nothing to my purpose. I have always felt that my awakening was a gift from God and I have always treated it as such and no matter what difficulties I encounter as a result of it… it is still a gift from Him to me.
God has never left my side though I left his for a very short spell, the sense of loss buried me, I now know what it like to be truly alone, but I regained Him with a lot of work and insight on my part and now that will never happen again.
But I too am older, 52 to be exact yet I feel God has given me another gift, to become a nun. I am very glad to have come across your site with a little guidance from above, so I keep coming back to it again and again to learn and explore the ways and hows of becoming a nun. I look forward to discovering many things beginning with your site and I hope to discover much, much more and if I can become a nun or be able to perform some other service for Him, I will be happy as it is a true gift from God.
I just wanted to say “Thank You!” for your work and Spirit on these pages and how helpful it is.
God Bless You with many Joys! Be Well, Be Happy, Be Your Best Self!
Carly, Many thanks for writing and sharing a bit of your story with us. It is a delight to ahve you as part of our A Nun’s Life community.
Hi Sister:
If this website had been around in the mid-late 90s, my life may have turned out very different. ; )
When I was in college at that time, I almost became a nun… that is to say, I felt very strongly about it and asked for some information at church. I didn’t actually know any nuns in our college town; I’m not sure that there was a convent or somesuch nearby. But the universe had other plans for me, as random things kept getting thrown in the way whenever I tried to walk down that path.
I was Very Very Catholic at the time but now I am not; there are still some things I respect about it and am drawn to but other things just make me go “RAWR!” (not the doctrine really just some of things that are done by the guys who run the joint, as it were, but I digress). Anyway, I write because two of the three main reasons I had for wanting to become a nun (the third being very devout Catholicism and all that entails) are still around: not liking/wanting to participate in our materialistic culture, and being completely asexual (as in, chastity is my nature). Do you have any recommendations for spiritually ecclectic but nonsecular people at all? I thought it was worth an ask. : )
Thanks very much!
Hi WP, Thanks for writing and telling me a bit about your story. I hear a call in your words to something deeper, a more intentional way of life. There are a few questions I have for you to think on … Are you drawn to living your call within a spiritual community or more on your own but still connected? What attracts you to that way? What things (people, lifestyles, books, ideas, events, etc.) have been “ah-ha!” moments in your life? moments in which you clearly felt a connection to who you are truly, to the universe, to the Spirit? And finally, the age-old question, what do you desire? I know these are not easy questions, but I sense that you are up for tackling them. Enter the questions with an open heart, an openness to being surprised. Then, if you want, shoot me an email and let me know your gleanings from the experience of reflecting on those questions. That will better help me to respond to your very good question re: recommendations for you. Blessings to you, WP.