Religion and Ethics Newsweekly published this interview with the Dominicans of Nashville and their increase in young vocations: “Young Nuns” (February 8, 2008 — Episode no. 1123).
There are some real gems in this story especially when the sisters begin to explain their own experience of being called. I think many of us could relate!
Sister Amelia Hueller: I finished high school, I went to college in Washington, DC for four years, and I came up against relativism: the idea that we can’t — people said that we couldn’t know what was good, what was bad, what was true. So I really began questioning where truth comes from. Where does goodness come from? I know I have values. Who gives them to me? And so between that moment and here, it was a process of, “This is scary, I don’t understand this. I don’t see why I would be called. How can I be called? I am so normal.”
Sister Christiana Mickwee: For me, it wasn’t so much a voice per se but through prayer — just in the silence, just letting him be there and finding out, really asking him, “What do you want from me, God?” I mean, I really had everything I could have wanted in the world, and there wasn’t anything that I was trying to get away from.
Sister Catherine Marie Hopkins: Very rarely do people come and say, “I’ve always wanted to be a sister.” You know, I always found that very suspect. You know, usually it was, “I was going through life very happily and suddenly this strange idea came and I tried really hard to eliminate it.” In my own life, that was the case.
What is fascinating to me is that God’s call to us — to me — is always unique, yet whenever I hear another Sister’s experience, I can often resonate with them. And even though the Nashville Dominicans have a charism and lifestyle different than my own IHM charism and life, we have so much more in common because of “the call” and our commitment to serving God, the Church, and the world.
If you are wondering if you are called (and you know who you are!), consider this: whoever you are, wherever you come from, whatever you desire most — God is with you and wants you to answer with your whole self. Forget about such things as “I’m not that holy” or “I’m just a normal, average person” or “Why would God call me?” or “I like guys too much.” Check out what’s it’s like to be a nun and you just might find your heart’s desire.
Archived Comments
- February 12, 2008 at 8:14 am
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I just watched that clip of those sisters before I came to check out this site, and I just loved what the sisters had to say about their vocations and how they seemed to glow with joy and love for Christ…truly beautiful!!!
- February 12, 2008 at 11:36 am
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Sr. Julie, I think you inspired me to be more open to my own vocational discernment this lent. I’m really not that holy, I do like guys too much, and I don’t know why God would call me to this. But my heart (and the still quiet voice of God that it houses) have been nudging me in this direction for awhile… and I think its time I listened. So thanks for the reminder
- February 12, 2008 at 9:26 pm
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It’s interesting. When one feels a call to married life, it is encouraged and celebrated by friends, family and church just about all of the time. A call to the religious life is often met with skepticism and resistance – even by the person being called. Many parents are unpleased by a vocation as well. Some forbid or attack it. Others fortunately, are neutral or supportive.
Why do you think a vocation to religious life is so difficult for people to accept? The three reasons I can figure out are living a religious vocation is countercultural (and therefore a person will not conform to secular society – it’s always a bit difficult to be “different” and to do something that is not considered a popular or “cool” choice by most others) and people generally desire offspring – whether that be in the form of children or grandchildren. I guess sex plays a role too. Not sure how significant that is though.
- February 13, 2008 at 5:52 am
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deerose, you’ve brought a thought to my mind. I strongly feel that we are living in a mixed up society, even Christian people both Catholic and otherwise are torn many ways – none of them healthy or good. I think the key words here could be “designer babies”. Statistics clearly show that married couples are having far fewer kids far later in life. These “designer babies” or “baby” singular coming late into a couple’s life is, while not really like Abraham and Sarah with Isaac or Hannah with Samuel, occupy an unduly large percentage of his or her parent’s interest and affection or love. This is one scenario.
The other thing, which is the more confusing, is the cheapening of life and the callous disregard for life by the millions of mothers (and fathers) who choose to end their baby’s life via abortion. Here we have a small part of the population bowing down before their kids and the other large part regarding kids as an avoidable headache. BOTH attitudes reek of postmodern selfishness and parental immaturity.
What parent wants to give up their cherished designer baby, after sinking a mint into College and Clothes etc, to some obscure backwater of a monastery? The sacrifice is far too great. I think this is some of what makes a vocation to Religious life hard for people to accept today. Parents “live through” their kids, rather than getting a life of their own and seeing kids as simply a stewardship and a “gift on loan” from God, they take ownership and become sinfully possessive of them. Job learned about that…
Having said that. I think it is easier for a woman in her discernment – in terms of options (there are far more communities for women than there are for men) and in terms of the silent pressures that afflict most, if not all, boys and young men (and old men for that matter) in the realm of “shirking responsibility” and “being strong” and “making a living” and proving yourself “a man”. Also following along here are family demands, carrying on the family name (in my case I’m the last one…) inheritance issues (also a factor) and for those in middle age, the pressures of business and finance and social obligations. All these tend to weigh more heavily on the typical Western Male than on his female counterpart also feeling called to Religious life. I may be wrong here.
Within each boy there is a mystic praying the Rosary, and a hard driving business tycoon chomping a cigar. It is a battle of submitting the will to God that determines to what extent one or the other is dominant. I know I struggle to balance these impulses all the time. I must consciously decide to be gentle, thoughtful, to bear slights and rebukes mildly, and to put on the attitudes of Jesus each moment of the day. We must crucify the Hitler within.
- February 13, 2008 at 8:21 am
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I remember when I announced to family and friends that I was entering the convent, many protested I was too young (I was 29!). However, my cousin’s marriage 10 days before her 21st birthday that same summer did not have the same response, at least that I heard. Perhaps it’s a lack of understanding of how religious life functions. Formation offers us years to more deeply discern our vocation. Couples say “I do” and they’re done! Religious life IS different and will probably always be met with some suspicion. My family and friends are coming around, and my mom takes great delight now in telling people her daughter is a nun.
- February 13, 2008 at 9:46 am
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That “designer baby” theory is interesting. I find it valid too. As you said, parents these days have far fewer children, later in life and tend to dote on them ad infinitem. I am guilty of this myself sometimes. It’s always a struggle to determine what I should do as a good mother and what is excessive. My daughter’s expectations of me can be unrealistic. She sometimes thinks I’m her servant girl. This is common, unfortunately. Some parents do whatever their kids ask. I don’t agree. I do what I can and do try to live my own life. I also want to raise my daughter to be capable and independant.
Although my expectations of my daughter are average to somewhat high (she is actually very bright), I try to keep a balance between pushing/guiding her and letting her relax and hang out. She is a religious kid and has sometimes said she may become a sister. It is certainly too early to tell. If she truly discerns that calling, however, I would support her and help her find a community that is the best fit possible. I would hope she wouldnt enter any community (or even marriage)until she was mature enough to make that decision (maybe 25-30). She is my only child so, honestly, I would hope that if she became a religious, she would enter a community where she was able to visit us without all sorts of major restrictions (i.e., a cloistered community might be tough).
I never thought about it being more difficult for males to enter religious life but I suppose that makes sense. And yes, I do think a religious vocation will always be looked at with skeptical eyes. If nothing else, most people probably really don’t understand such a life choice.
- February 13, 2008 at 10:55 am
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Dee, You bring up some good points. I have been discerning for a few months now, but no one besides the community I am interested in knows. I am quite scared to tell my parents and friends about the thoughts I have been having to join a religious community. For one, I think they would try to change my mind. Why I am not sure, but I just get that feeling. Also, I think my mother would have a nervous breakdown because I know how badly she wants grandchildren.
- February 13, 2008 at 12:08 pm
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Wow, I feel like I’m reading some of my own thoughts here.
Jen – I’ve been there (just discerning with the community and not telling others), and am not too far past that (although I’ve told my family and some friends about my discernment). Not to discourage you, but my mother definitely doesn’t like the idea… for the same reason you fear your mother won’t. My dad doesn’t completely understand why religious life, but is more supportive.
Br. Dominic and Dee – I think there may be a difference between people discerning religious life and not ordination, and those who are discerning becoming priests. With the priest shortage, it seems like anyone thinking of becoming a priest gets praise from all over the place. Those discerning religious life get questioned about why they would want to live that way with all the “rules.”
- February 13, 2008 at 3:54 pm
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I think part of the problems with parents and family is that most don’t know any nuns. We seem to have a gap in the middle, there are older nuns, and now we’re starting to see younger ones. You just did not have the exposure to nuns as you did years ago. I think parents need to be aware of the discernment that their daughters are going through. If they were planning on getting married, they would certainly be introducing the fiance. I truly believe if you are called, that is the only life that will make YOU happy.
- February 14, 2008 at 8:45 am
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Jen, I agonized for months over telling my parents. When I finally did, my mother was VERY upset, esp. since I am the only daughter. It was not pretty, but she did come around once she saw I was happy and met some of my Sisters who embraced her with open arms. All involved need time to adjust. She has 2 grandsons now and that helps too! I hope something similar for you.
- February 14, 2008 at 8:50 am
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Well my mother does have somewhat of an understanding of religious life, as her older sister was a nun for about ten years. Grant it, this was in the 1950s and a lot has changed since then. I am the only daugther too, so I can see her reaction being very similiar to your mother’s Gayle. But for the 30 years that I have been alive, I feel as though I have been making decisions for other people and their happiness. I think it is about time I start making decisions for ME and what makes me happy. At this time, I think religious life would do that.
- February 14, 2008 at 12:22 pm
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Jen — wow, that’s a pretty amazing realization to come to. While it is true that we want to watch out for others and their feelings, we must be true to ourselves and especially to how God is working in our lives. My family gave me a little bit of a hard time — but as they gradually met my nuns and saw that I was truly flourishing yet still my same old self, they grew to accept my decision and support me. They thought that becoming a nun was going to be confining — they needed time to see how freeing it really was.
- March 11, 2009 at 5:02 pm
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It has been nice to read the thoughts from all of you. I am in a relationship with a man that I love very much. There is no question that if I am called to marry, he is the man for me. I am concerned that I have been ignoring a call to religious life. There is something inside of me that will not let me forget that. I want to marry him but what if that is not God’s will for me? If God wants me to be a nun and I marry, does that mean I will not be truly happy as a wife/mother? Do any of you know someone who was in a serious relationship and ended up following a vocation to religious life? Thank you and God Bless.
- April 26, 2010 at 12:58 pm
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Thank you for answering my question on your radio show. I was able to hear the podcast. The retreat went well. There were several groups there. I believe I need to start paring down which orders would be a good fit and begin more visits. I know I am being called. It becomes more clear every day. There is still some fear involved. It would be a very big change in my life! But many of the discernment books I have read say that if there weren’t a bit of fear in the beginning then that would probably not be normal. Many sisters I spoke with said they would be concerned if I were 100 percent sure at this stage. Please keep me in your prayers.
- August 27, 2010 at 8:53 pm
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I’m hoping that someone can help me with a concern. I really believe I have a call to religious life. I’ve felt it for a long time – since late elementary school, but have been running and hiding from it (how do you really run and hide from God who sees, knows, and is all? – notice how well this HASN’T worked…). I am in the process of applying for a community, but there is a little concern that I am the only child. I don’t know how to address that concern, except to say, I trust that God will help work everything out. Is that wrong? Can someone please give me some advice?
