A lot of people wonder what happens to a sister when she is sick or dying. Is she sent home? Is she sent to the hospital? How is she cared for?
When a person is fully a member of a religious community, the community is with her 100%. Should she become physically or mentally ill or whatever, the community takes care of her and does not abandon her. She is still a vital member of the community even though she may have to find new ways of expressing this.
Let me give you an example of a sister who was cared for by the community and who, down to her last breath (unable to communicate well or get out of bed), was a vital member of the community. I remember a day when one of my dear IHM sisters was sick and dying. Normally when a sister is dying, there are always sisters sitting vigil with her. Our nuns make sure someone is always in the room or nearby so the sister is not alone. So this one day I went in to see my dear sister Mary Ann. The sister with her graciously left so we’d have some time alone together. I went to her bed and just held her hand and talked to her. She was not really awake and I wasn’t sure if she knew I was there. She didn’t open her eyes or make any response. I wanted to be strong for her as she had always been for me, but I just couldn’t muster up any strength. So I started praying the Hail Mary aloud. Amazingly Mary Ann, in a barely audible voice, said a few of the phrases of the Hail Mary. At that moment I knew that of course she knew I was there and with what little breath and energy she had, she consoled me — she was still being there for me, comforting me like she always did when things were tough. I stayed with Mary Ann a while longer, just sitting in vigil with her. It was one of the most grace-filled moments of my life. Mary Ann died not long afterwards.
The community takes care of one another in sickness and in health. We stand with one another, not always perfectly, but with great love, care and affection. Even when a sister is dying, she can be a source of life and energy and love for all those around her, the sisters, the housekeeping staff, the family members, the health care staff. Everyone. Although being sick or having a serious chronic illness isn’t the same thing as dying, the way we care for one another is the same. It isn’t always pretty being sick, but it is a true blessing to have sisters who care so deeply and would move mountains for you.
Archived Comments
- June 25, 2007 at 2:10 pm
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This is a very beautiful thing and reminds me of pictures or video that I have seen representing the way that Carmelites are laid out after death with all the beautiful flowers surrounding them. I still pray that communities, especially ones that are mainly contemplative could be more open about accepting people initially who have serious illnesses. The proper response from all the members of the community are also needed in this regard. God is not afraid of Providence over the sick, so maybe communities could look into the heart and be more accepting initially. May all our dear religious and priests be blessed by St. Joseph and their communities with the grace of a happy death.
- June 25, 2007 at 4:37 pm
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I thank you for sharing this most beautiful story. I congratulate you on having the strength to visit you friend. You said you were unable to find words to say, and started praying aloud. What words could you possibly have said that would have meant more than just your presence there with her. The prayer was undoubtedly a blessing to her at that time, but so was the fact that you were there. She knew you cared enough to visit, she felt your love. Nothing could have been more special than that. You were a blessing to her and to all. Bill
- June 27, 2007 at 7:44 pm
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When one of our sisters is dying, everyone in the house goes to spend some time with her. Well, one summer, as we gathered all the sisters of the province for the first time (We ususally came together in two or three shifts during the summer, because the Texas teachers had to be in school from August 1 to June 1, but the California sisters from September 1 to June 17 or so), one of othe elderly bedridden sisters was said to be dying. From breakfast time to early afternoon, each sister present came and visited and prayed with Sister D and kissed her goodbye. For some reason or another, I was the last to enter her room. She cracked her eye open and said, “Go! GO!” Whatever plagued her had passed and she lived for several more months. Or provincial had concluded that the saying that you needed X number a kisses a day to survive was proved true that day in Sr. D’s remarkable recovery!
Another time, when I was a novice, dear Sister B was said to be dying. Now, this was the third time we did a death watch for Sr. B. She was 98 and, well, you never knew with her. At about 11PM, after many hours of prayer, Sr. B cracked open one eye, saw the provincial sitting at her side and she asked, “Am I dead?” “Apparently not!” came the provinical’s response.
Our congregation had that tradition mentioned earlier of laying out a sister with all those flowers (lilies if you could get them) around her body. Little did anyone know that those flowers hid the wood shavings left from making the plain, poor box that held her! (The shaving were under her body. Sheesh, Sister was already dead! Did her body still have to do penance?)
