Ah, dear Seeker, I believe your question about responding to God's call despite being afraid is one that God hears quite often—and one that tugs at God’s heartstrings! This is the great question that comes sooner or later to anyone serious about the God-quest.
The question is tender because it implies several things about you. Firstly, that you are already so connected to God that you know God speaks to humans, and even CALLS them to follow and join in God’s holy work of loving and serving the people. Secondly, that you are hearing something—maybe vague, unformed, almost like static until you get the right frequency and the clear connection. Lastly, the question implies that you are a Seeker. You may be thinking “I’m hearing something, and I want to respond ... but I’m afraid.”
Who would NOT be afraid to entertain a request, an invitation, from the One Who Dwells in Mystery? Like Moses, we feel like taking off our shoes when we come before the Burning Bush of the awesome Holy One! Until we remember—wait! This is the One who knows me well. Dear Seeker, remember when you have felt a moment of God’s warm, personal love of you. Is there any Love who cares more about your life and your future than God? The only one who has no ulterior motive, no ego-interest in your choices, no conscious or unconscious strings attached to your response, is God—the Great Lover.
Over the years when I have talked with people about this very fear, or experienced it myself before a big decision, I remember that God is the One alone who would never ask more than I can give, would never require a response that would lead me to less joy or less freedom. Jesus wants for us the fullness of life, the fullness of joy and freedom God’s every call will always take us to the path of greater life, to our becoming FULLY the person God sees in us.
I would encourage you to gently loosen and unbind those threads that make you fear the Voice your soul KNOWS most deeply. You came here knowing that Voice. You find it when you pray. You rest in it when you remember: “Before you were born I knew you ... I have carved you in the palm of my hand ... You are precious to me and I love you.” (Psalm 139)
