If I have doubts, does that mean I'm not a believer?

Sister Rejane  
This Random Nun Clip is brought to you by A Nun's Life Ministry.

Sister Maxine  
We have another question. This one comes in from Eileen in Minnesota. And Eileen writes, "I want to believe in God. But at the same time, I have what seems like insurmountable uncertainty and doubt. Sometimes I feel like faith is a story that we can choose to believe or not. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of that decision. I don't know if I'm a believer or not. I would appreciate your insights on this. Thank you." Eileen, thank you so much for that question. I can hear the tone of angst in your voice, and I can recognize in it that this is a very significant question to you at this time of your life.

Sister Shannon  
Especially the way the question opens" "I want to believe in God."

Sister Maxine  
You know, it's interesting to think of a faith as a struggle and we know it can be. We know it can be. But the desire to believe in God -- yet something is telling her no. You know, that insurmountable uncertainty. So she doesn't mention why she wants to believe -- if there's something that has gone on in her life. If there's some call she's feeling that she's seeking to explain herself.

Sister Shannon  
She sees some value in it. She sees witness of others who are believers, that have something that maybe she doesn't. There are lots of ways to approach this. The first thing that comes to my mind, Eileen, is that faith is a gift. And it's not a gift that's offered once, and only once. And if you don't take it, you're out of luck. It's a gift of God's grace. And it comes to us over and over and over again, throughout our lives. Opportunities. We have graced encounters with others. We have graced encounters with God. And little by little, I think that enables us to open and receive this gift of faith.

Sister Maxine  
And in that sense, I think there is a decision to be made, and it is, are you going to open your heart? You know, and there's an internal struggle going on here, right now, where one part of the heart wants to be open, the other part, not so sure. So with that understanding, are you a believer, are you or are you not? Which part's going to win?

Sister Shannon  
I don't know where the question is stopped or what's interfering with you, where it comes from. But oftentimes, I think the question emerges for people who try to think rationally about faith, and try to look for definitive proof.

Sister Maxine  
Do some analysis and charts and graphs.

Sister Shannon  
Some way to definitively prove there is a God when in fact, I certainly think we witness it through the person of Jesus Christ, but recognition that Jesus is who he says he is, is another gift of faith that comes to us. So there are some of us that are open immediately to recognizing in the beauty of creation the wonder of how this world works. Even if you come at it scientifically, the wonder of how this world works, that that either reflects for you a really ordered something something going on in the world, or a power behind it, that sets it in motion, that guides it, and brings it to order.

Sister Maxine  
You know, when you mentioned, like how the universe works. There's a there's a wonderful Franciscan author that may be of assistance. I think she comes out of a science background doesn't she does.

Sister Shannon  
Her name is Ilia Delio. And she is a scientist, and also a pharmacist. I think she's got a whole armful of degrees. But she is a Franciscan sister. And she's written extensively on the cosmos and evolution. And the bigger picture. She's a big fan of Teilhard de Chardin, who is another wonderful scientist, anthropologist, I believe, who was also a Jesuit priest. So there's so many wonderful things that he writes about, as well as Ilia -- that connection between the world as we witness it and experience it and the power of faith. One does not deny the other. Faith must be rational, in order to be accepted. Science, if we're looking from that perspective, causes us to sometimes have faith. So I've never seen an atom, but I don't doubt a scientist that they exist.

Sister Maxine  
That's true.

Sister Shannon  
I mean, there are parts of science -- I love astronomy, and I'm not an astronomer by any means. But I've always been engaged by the vastness of the universe. And I recently went to a shell planetarium show, and she was talking about this new camera that they used over time and taken these pictures that went deep into space. And what they determined -- that there are 27 quintillion galaxies.

Sister Maxine  
I don't think I could count that high.

Sister Shannon  
I can't get past trillion. But quintillion. She said, there are more galaxies -- which are huge star systems, right? More galaxies than there are sands on the seashore. That just brought me to the realization of the immensity of God behind all of that, and what that did for me was to deepen my belief.

Sister Maxine  
And the other point of that is, as with science, you may have some doubts about science. But does that mean you don't believe in science? No. Just like faith, you may have some doubts, because every thinking questioning person will. And Eileen, just because you have doubts, doesn't mean that you lack faith. You can have faith and have plenty of doubts, just like you can love science and sometimes question things. And things change over time.

Sister Rejane  
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This transcript has been lightly edited for readability.