IGF053 In Good Faith with Sister Alice Ann O'Neill, SC: Cellist, Suzuki teacher, Suzuki teacher trainer

Sister Rejane  
This is In Good Faith, a conversation about living faith in everyday life. I'm Sister Rejane of A Nun's Life Ministry. Our guest today is Sister Alice Ann O'Neill, a professional cellist with a doctorate in performance and teaching. She is a Suzuki teacher, teacher trainer and composer. Sister Alice Ann has performed as a soloist in the States and abroad. Her passion for playing the cello is integral to her love for teaching others. She trains Suzuki cello teachers in workshops and institutes throughout North America. And for the past 30 years, Sister Alice Ann has taught music and cello at several universities and maintains a Suzuki cello studio in Cincinnati, Ohio, with students ranging in age from 15 months to adults. Sister Alice Ann grew up in the New Brunswick Canadian countryside, where she first encountered the Sisters of Charity, and where she began playing the cello. She is a member of the Sisters of Charity of Cincinnati, a religious community affiliated with the Charity Federation. Today, we want to talk about the intersection of music and faith in her life. She believes that music has the power to unite people to bring joy and healing into their lives, and a way to build community. Well, hello, Sister Alice Ann, I'm so glad to have you on In Good Faith podcast today.

Sister Alice Ann  
Thank you!

Sister Rejane  
I have to say for our audience, Sister Alice Ann and I have been friends for many years. And--Alice Ann, you definitely have to jump in on this--the memory I have the most from first meeting you is when I went out to Emmitsburg to make the Way of Elizabeth. I was in initial formation. And for some reason I expected it would be a lot of younger sisters. And I walked into the first meeting and saw a sea of gray hair. And you were the only brown hair in the room. And we immediately connected for that whole week.

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, I don't I don't think--you're sort of right about that. But the real memory is, it was 2009--

Sister Rejane  
Oh my goodness, you remember the date?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, because that was the 200th anniversary of our community in Emmitsburg. And so during that year, there were five really beautiful retreat programs that were offered to anyone in the Federation. And that was where we met, on one of those retreats. But that retreat was kind of like the Way of Elizabeth, where we go on to tours out to all the places Elizabeth was in Baltimore, and on Mount St. Mary's, and all around the shrine area.

Sister Rejane  
That's right.

Sister Alice Ann  
And I think that was the first time you'd ever been there. Is that right?

Sister Rejane  
That is correct. And for our audience, just so you know. I am a Sister of Charity of Leavenworth and Alice Ann is a Sister of Charity of Cincinnati. And both of our congregations belong to what is called the Charity Federation, which brings 14 women religious congregations together, because we trace our roots back to St. Vincent de Paul, Louise de Marillac, and Elizabeth Seton. And so Emmitsburg, Maryland, where Elizabeth started the Sisters of Charity, and where currently the Daughters of Charity are situated as well--it's a home site for us and a very sacred place. And she's one of the first saints in this country that's native born. So she's very near and dear to our hearts. And I attribute her to bringing Alice Ann and I together.

Sister Alice Ann  
I definitely agree about that.

Sister Rejane  
Well, and Alice Ann, I just remember, once we connected, that I came to realize you were part of the planning team and you were bringing your cello, that gift, to the gathering. And I think what's so neat is oftentimes when we as religious talk about vocation, it's a real single vocation to our call for religious life. But I believe for you, you truly have a dual vocation with the cello and religious life, and they're deeply intertwined for you. So can you talk about when did you first encounter that cello?

Sister Alice Ann  
I started playing the cello in 1978. And I was in elementary school. And I learned cello in group classes. So there was 37 kids in my cello class. And we learned in school at public school. So we had cello three times a week. And that's what started it for me. My very first cello lesson, the teacher gave us music stand, handed me a bow and a cello. And then just, we put the bow on the cello to play. And that moment was just like, "Oh, I love this!" I don't know why, because I'm sure it didn't sound good. the first time I put the bow to the cello.

Sister Rejane  
But there was some connection for you.

Sister Alice Ann  
Yes. There was something about just hearing it and feeling the vibrations on me. It was just instinctual. I just love this. And very soon after I began playing, I pretty much decided to be a cellist. So like from age eight.

Sister Rejane  
Age eight, you knew you were going to be a cellist.

Sister Alice Ann  
Right.

Sister Rejane  
And was your faith interwoven into this music, this cello music at an early age?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, I played as a music minister at my parish, from age 11. And so I played, you know, every Sunday. I think 11 years old, just kind of young to be playing at church every week. But! I didn't even probably know how to read that well, but as I went through the years, it became easier and easier to read. And the Catholic Book of Worship was a beloved book by the time I graduated high school.

Sister Rejane  
What is the Catholic Book of Worship?

Sister Alice Ann  
That's a Canadian--kind of like Glory and Praise. Is that the American one?

Sister Rejane  
Yes. For music, right, that was in the pews, that people would sing out of?

Sister Alice Ann  
Right. So that's the Canadian version. I probably don't have the name right. But  everybody in Canada used the same book.

Sister Rejane  
Wow. So you are from Canada--can you tell our audience where in Canada? Because I think so many people think, you know, Toronto, or Ontario. But there's more to Canada than that!

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, there's much more! I mean, after Russia stopped being the USSR, Canada is the largest landmass country in the world. So it's pretty big, but it only has the population of like the state of New York or something, which is kind of a lot but not like our country. But I grew up in a rural village, outside of St. John, New Brunswick called Quispamsis, which is a First Nations name for "land around little lake."

Sister Rejane  
So is there a lake nearby?

Sister Alice Ann  
Yes. Which was called Ritchie Lake, but I don't think that's how the First Nation people called it.

Sister Rejane  
Sure. Sure.

Sister Alice Ann  
But yes, we had a little lake. It's just beautiful. It's absolutely gorgeous in New Brunswick, and it's right above Maine. And the neighboring provinces are Quebec, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island.

Sister Rejane  
Wow. Wow. So growing up there, did you encounter any religious sisters?

Sister Alice Ann  
Yes, there are Sisters of Charity from a community that's in our Federation that worked at my parish. And actually, I also belonged, as I was a teenager--for quite a lot of years--to the Catholic CYO, Catholic Youth Organization. And they had a weekly prayer group. And so I used to go to that and there was also a Sister of Charity and a diocesan priest that ran that group.

Sister Rejane  
Okay, okay. So it does sound like faith was important to you, in the in the early years between playing mass and the CYO. You talked about the cello and how the first time you touched it, that those vibrations resonated for you. Do you have any stories around your relationship with God at that point, that kind of resonated with you too?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, I mean, I really think that music is very spiritual thing--not just doing it, but the sounds of it.

Sister Rejane  
Okay.

Sister Alice Ann  
The vibrations. I think that there's a lot that we don't know about how vibrations affect our body and our spirit. But I played cello a lot growing up. And most of my friends who also played stringed instruments growing up--everybody has some kind of spiritual sense about them. I think also just spending time alone--because to play an instrument, you have to practice. And if you're practicing, you're in a room by yourself, and you're just faced with yourself completely. So you have to do your own work. I mean, there are, I'm sure, people who don't do their own work and still practice! But most musicians, you have to really face who you are authentically and really continually work on that. Because also performing is such a peak energetic experience, that you really can't even do it if you're not mentally, spiritually, emotionally prepared, besides physically having practiced.

Sister Rejane  
So your playing the cello is truly intertwined as faith and spirituality and prayer. I mean, what you're describing, this is a prayer experience.

Sister Alice Ann  
It has become that for me, especially, you know, in midlife, I've discovered that it is really a deeply prayerful experience for me. And I've also discovered that, you know, rooting the playing of the cello in prayer, and setting intentions, that it can also be a healing experience for other people, and a prayerful experience that I can share with other people.

Sister Rejane  
Wow, wow. Can you speak a little more about that sense of healing with others, through setting your intentions?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, I think it's just like anything in spiritual life, that if your intentions are good, and for the good of others, so that what you intend is to be for helping people's highest good, for example. If you do that with the Holy Spirit, and with God, I really believe that music is a mechanism that can reach people directly inside. I think if you don't set an intention like that, you can still affect people in a very deep way. So say you're a cellist and you're not spiritual. The sounds themselves are kind of like a tonic for the soul. It calms people, it brings them to a more centered place. A lot of people who listen to music do it for that reason, for relaxation, or to calm their thoughts. And so, there's so much that we don't know about music. I mean, I'm sure there's so much we don't know about lots of things that we need to keep researching and exploring. But I've been trying to explore how deeply my prayerful intention can go through the cello. And I don't have any model for that. I've just been kind of exploring that field myself. So for example, last August, my best friend had her Diamond Jubilee in our community. And their whole band decided they wanted, for Communion, the music to not have any words because they wanted it to be deeply purple for everyone. And so they asked me to play at Communion, but they said, "You may not play any tune that anyone would know. And it must not have any words." So basically, don't play any liturgical music. And they didn't want Bach or any kind of cello music that anyone would recognize. They wanted something just very deep. and unknown. And so I thought, well, the only choice is then to compose something so that no one would have heard it before. And when I reflected on preparing for that mass, I prayed about it and discerned for many months. And so the music was being composed inside me while I was preparing this gift to their band. And I didn't write it down. But it was all being composed. And so then what I did was, during Communion, I deeply prayed to bridge these angels and have the energy of this music come through the cello and me. And this music was very extraordinarily beautiful, I felt, but it wasn't really something I had completely written. So like, if you compose music, usually you write it down, and then you follow it. This music was really more about this exact moment of now, being fully present now, and in the now is the most powerful place to be. And this is why it's so difficult for people sometimes to stop their worrying, or running around, or being held up in the pain from the past. Because of course, there's healing that needs to happen from the past. But it can only be done now, in the now, here. So this is one of the most difficult things to do in prayer: to stop your mind from running. But to stay fully present in now. And so that was my hardest part of it, the composition, was just letting myself be prepared interiorly. So that my intention, which was the title of the piece, which is called Hope and Healing. I felt that everyone needs healing from something, and that we need to all have hope. And from talking to the sisters that were in that band of 1961, I felt like that was the gift I wanted to try to give them through the cello. So then before I started playing, I just prepared myself and trusted that the inspiration and sound would come. And that's what happened. And it was very interesting because for me, when I played it, it was sort of like time stopped. And that is kind of scary, because you're not used to being in a place like that. And so then also then not to let your self-doubt or something in your personality interfere with your bridging of whatever the Holy Spirit's bringing. So I hope that it brought hope and healing to the people who were present there. After the Mass people talked about how they had been worrying and then they stopped worrying, or that they were really upset and then they stopped being upset, or things like that. Those are not minor healings. That's true healing. Something moved and changed within them, and it's simply through the vibration of the cello.

Sister Rejane  
And your prayer. Like you said, you did a lot of work yourself to be that channel in which God moved. Wow. And you have a recording, do you not, of Hope and Healing that was recorded.

Sister Alice Ann  
Yes!

Sister Rejane  
And you're sharing that with us and I'm so grateful--I'm sure our audience will be thrilled to be able to hear that. This is In Good Faith, a program of A Nun's Life Ministry. We want to thank our sponsors and individual donors like you whose support makes the In Good Faith program possible. During the break, you will be listening to an excerpt of Sister Alice Ann's original composition entitled Hope and Healing. We will be right back.

Welcome back. This is Sister Rejane of A Nun's Life Ministry, and my guest, Sister Alice Ann O'Neill. One thing for our audience, when you keep saying "band," can you explain a bit more what you mean? Like the band of 1961, the back group of sisters.

Sister Alice Ann  
So in our community in 1961, there are 72 people who entered Sisters of Charity of Cincinnati. And then that group of sisters is known as a band. Which is very ironic that you're having me explain this since I am bandless myself.

Sister Rejane  
And so am I.

Sister Alice Ann  
Yes. So we have community gatherings, each band usually reserves a table and says, you know, 1960, 1957, whatever. And so I started making table reservation for a sign that said "Bandless."

Sister Rejane  
Oh you did!

Sister Alice Ann  
That usually were the people who entered after 1985. So usually, they're just one or two people who entered at a time. So my band is called Bandless.

Sister Rejane  
I love it. But there's a group, right? Of you that are considered bandless in your community. Correct?

Sister Alice Ann  
Probably about 30 or 40 people.

Sister Rejane  
Yeah. So you kind of create your own group. We have different experiences of formation and life, but we're all connected. That's for sure. Well, hey, I want to circle back. You grew up in Canada, but how did you end up in the United States?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, when I was studying cello in New Brunswick, there were no cellists in my whole province, no professional cellists. So a few years into study, my group cello teacher suggested to my parents that I should have private lessons. And so my teacher was in Halifax, Nova Scotia, which was a five hour train ride from where I lived. So I started for--it was almost four years--I started going once a month to Halifax on the train by myself. From age 12.

Sister Rejane  
Was that scary?

Sister Alice Ann  
No, I loved it. I mean, I didn't love going by myself on the train. But when I got off the train, my cello teacher was always there. And he always took very good care of me. And we would have about 20, 25 hours of lessons that weekend. Then he'd put me back on the train, and I ended up back where my parents were waiting for me. So I loved it. And that teacher then transferred me to another teacher in high school. The province I grew up had an Artist in Residence grant. And they hired a string quartet in Fredericton, New Brunswick, which was about a two and a half hour drive from where I lived. And so in high school, I studied with a teacher in Fredericton. And I drove up once a week. So that's nearly five hours of driving once a week. But it was still a lot easier to get to than taking a train. So both of those teachers had studied with a cellist named George Neikrug. And he taught at Boston University. And so when I was going to go to college and major in cello performance, my teachers really wanted me to go study with him. So that is how I ended up in Boston. But I was very fortunate because my mother grew up in New York. So I actually have dual citizenship. And so I was able to go to school in the United States, and then actually stay on and keep living here because I am a citizen.

Sister Rejane  
Wow. That's great. You know, I have the opposite. My mom was born in Canada. But at the time, I could not get dual citizenship--I was born in the States--because she was a woman. Things have since changed. But I just I just had to throw that in there. Where my brother was born in Canada, and with my dad being a US person, he does have dual citizenship. Yeah.

Sister Alice Ann  
So your brother has dual citizenship, but you don't?

Sister Rejane  
That is correct.

Sister Alice Ann  
That's really strange.

Sister Rejane  
Isn't that a little bizarre? Okay, so you're in Boston. And now, if I remember, you go there for performance, but you end up at some point, when you're getting your doctorate--I'm kind of fast forwarding--there was a struggle, wasn't there? Like, were you going to do performance? Or were you going to go with teaching? Right? And how did you figure out that struggle, that tension?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, I don't understand our academic fields still, even after all these decades, but we like to do fields of study in silos instead of, you know, intercollaboration, you know, interdisciplinary kinds of studies, which are a little more common now. But I decided to go to Ohio State for my doctorate, because it was the only program in the country that would allow me to be a performance major, but also take any courses I wanted. So I could design my own type of focus. And I was at that time very interested in research, music teaching research. And that's what was one of the top schools for that field. So I was doing both of them. And I had two advisors, one in performance, and then one in research, music research. And that advisor said, "You really should just switch to this, because you're very good at this research. And all the statistics don't bother you. And you can really make a difference in this field." And so I thought, okay, I could do that. Because I had also taught public school, that's one of the requirements for that degree that you had to have been a public school teacher at some point, for at least three years. So it was possible for me to take that degree fully, which was a PhD in music education. And so I went to do the interview, and the head of that department said, "You have to sell your cello." And I, I was shocked. Why would you sell your instrument when you're a musician, and he says, "If you keep your instrument, you will be too torn between these worlds of doing research and performing. So you have to just cut it off and stop it, sell your instrument." That's what he was telling all of these doctoral students, which makes me incredibly sad. But I just said, "No, I'm not going to do that." Because I knew I was a cellist. And I just couldn't choose. And so then my advisor was quite upset that he said that to me, but that is what people were expected to do in that program. So she said, "You have three more days to choose. So please think about this carefully." And so I went off and since I knew about discernment, I said, "Okay, I'll pray, I'll discern, see what happens. But I'm not too happy about selling my cello." So I was in the middle of this discernment, and I was just distraught about having to choose and not being able to do both. So I was at Mass one day, and I made this very deeply sincere prayer--which, I should make a notification for anyone: if you'd make a prayer like this, you better be ready for what happens. Because God is listening! I just said, "If you are clear, and tell me exactly what I should do, I promise to follow it." And in the very next moment, it was like a voice behind my head said, "Be a sister." And I was just shocked.

Sister Rejane  
That wasn't what you were asking, was it?

Sister Alice Ann  
I was like, that was not one of the choices, what's the deal? So first of all, that didn't help me at all with my choice that I had to make. So I'll just fast forward to that answer, which is, what I chose to do is to not choose between the degrees. I chose one degree, but I did the equivalent of both. And nobody had ever done that before. So I didn't fit in fully in both. But I was happy. Because I still got to do all the music research I wanted to and still play six recitals for my degree and all that. So.

Sister Rejane  
You turned an either/or into a both/and, basically.

Sister Alice Ann  
Right. And they were not pleased that I still chose that because they really felt I should get a PhD. If I had written two dissertations, I've could have had both degrees, but nobody is that crazy. Well, there are a few people have two PhDs. But it's really hard to do that. It's because the first dissertation pretty much kills you, which is why figure you can't do another one. That was me. Anyways, going back to Mass, what happened was, I was then thrown into a huge turmoil. Because I had, when I was a teenager, thought I wanted to be a Sister of Charity. And my parents didn't want me to do it. And the sisters were encouraging, but they said, you know, "Please go get your degree first." But then when I finished my degree, they said, "Oh, well, we can't have anyone with loans. So you have to wait until you pay off all your student loans." And so I thought, "Well, that means I can enter till I'm 40-something," which is when how long it takes to pay it off. So then I thought that choice was just out of the question, because of my situation. So I decided to try to ignore what had happened at Mass. That was a bad idea.

Sister Rejane  
So this is fast forwarding from when you first were in undergraduate, right, to the doctorate program, correct?

Sister Alice Ann  
Right. So I was trying to decide whether to do a Ph. D, music ed, or DMA in performance. And when I asked for guidance on that, instead, the voice said, "Be a sister." And so I decided to try to ignore it. That's not the best choice. But, you know, sometimes when things are scary, you just feel like you want to run away. And so to me, that was scary. Because I already had a plan. I was gonna do this, and this, and I had a whole plan, like 20 years out. And I had let go of my dreams of being a Sister of Charity. So I tried to ignore it. And then that night, and the next night, and the next night, I had the exact same dream over and over, which was these women--they were kind of like floating heads. You know how you have weird pictures when you're dreaming. But it was all of these women. Their face would come up closer, and they would say, "I was so happy my whole life being a Sister of Charity." And then the next one would say, "I love being a Sister of Charity. I was so happy." And three nights of this. And I would wake up in the morning and I thought, "Well, okay, that's crazy." The first day, I thought, "That's just me." And I just decided to ignore it again. And then when it happened the second night, it was a little harder to ignore. And then it happened the third night. And I said, "Okay, there's something going on here. And maybe I better pay attention." And so I called one of my friends in St. John, who's a Sister of Charity and I told her what happened. So then she talked with me because we've been friends since I was teenager, and I used to visit her every year when I went home. And so we talked and so she said, "Well, I think you better start discerning whether you should enter. Because this might mean something like that." And I said, "Oh, maybe not." And I had a nice talk with her. And so that night after I talked to her, I had this dream of going to this huge building that was made out of brick. Sound familiar? And then at the door, there was this woman who greeted me. And she had the same kind of habit that Elizabeth Seton had, but she was very young, she was my age. And she said, "You have to go through here." And I said, "What is that?" And she said, "This is the Hall of Habits." And I just cackled laughing, because I was like, "What kind of name is that? Hall of Habits!" And so I was sort of even joking about this in my dream, but we walked all through the building. And then she talked to me about this kind of life. And then I woke up, and I had a deep sense of peace. And I thought, "Okay, I think I could discern. Maybe I should be a Sister of Charity." And I didn't know who this person was. And a few months later, I was on a discernment retreat in the Columbus, Ohio diocese. And I went into this room, there were 100 brochures. And I saw this picture, and it looked exactly like the woman in my dream. And I picked it up. And it was a Sisters of Charity of Cincinnati brochure. And it was a drawing of Elizabeth Seton as a younger woman. And that was the exact person that I felt like I had talked to. So to me, that was a sign, I thought. And so then I started discerning with the sisters in Cincinnati. And I have never forgotten that dream. I can remember all of it. But I didn't know it should be Cincinnati. So I kept trying to find this building, to see what if I could find the same building, then I could know that was the right place to go. And in the meantime, I started discerning with Cincinnati, and about two years into my formation, I was driving down a road behind our motherhouse. And it turns out the building in my dream was our motherhouse, but from the back.

Sister Rejane  
Really!

Sister Alice Ann  
But I didn't know that until then.

Sister Rejane  
Oh, my goodness.

Sister Alice Ann  
So the discernment, you know, really began with a leap of faith that this was the right thing to do. And when you go through formation, it can be somewhat terrifying. But as I kept walking that journey, it became clearer and clearer to me, this is really who I am. So, I professed my final vows in 2009, the same year that we met.

Sister Rejane  
Yes, I think I met you before, right? Some months before, and then I was able to come out for your vows. Is that right?

Sister Alice Ann  
That's right.

Sister Rejane  
Yeah. Yeah. I remember that very much, and getting to meet your family. And that that helped my vocation, too, Alice Ann.

Sister Alice Ann  
Did it?

Sister Rejane  
I really am grateful. And I still on my symbol of St. Vincent de Paul, on a cross have the relic of Elizabeth Seton that you gave me as a vow gift and I wear that every time.

Sister Alice Ann  
That's lovely, Rejane.

Sister Rejane  
This is In Good Faith, a program of A Nun's Life Ministry. We want to thank our sponsors and individual donors like you whose support makes the In Good Faith program possible. During the break, you will be listening to an excerpt of Sister Alice Ann's original composition entitled Hope and Healing. We will be right back.

Welcome back. This is Sister Rejane of A Nun's Life Ministry, and my guest, Sister Alice Ann O'Neill. I want to circle back. When you were praying at Mass, that kind of pivotal moment about "Should I do performance, should I do teaching with cello?" And you heard, "Be a sister." And then with your discernment, was there ever a struggle, like "If I become a sister, I'm going to have to give up the cello." Did you ever have some of that?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, I first started discerning with the Sisters of Charity where I grew up, because I thought, oh, that's logical. That's where I'm from. And so I've known these people since I was a child. That's where I probably belong. And so I started discerning with them. And  even though their community is filled with musicians, no one had ever really been a musician as their ministry. It was always, you know, on the side or at Mass. And so they couldn't really conceive of me, how I would make a ministry out of playing the cello. And I said, "Well, I've already been doing that." I mean, I was in my 30s. So, you know, I showed them how I could do it. And I was finishing my doctorate. So  I was very passionate about being a cellist, and trying to give of myself in that way. And so it really seemed like it wasn't working--my discernment with them--because if they were not okay with me, being a cellist, that sort of felt to me like they weren't okay with me being me.

Sister Rejane  
Mm hmm.

Sister Alice Ann  
So I actually finished discernment with them before I started discernment with Cincinnati. And I waited three or four months in between just to make sure that I wasn't, you know, just jumping from one to another. And when I started applying to Cincinnati, oh my. People would send me emails and say, "Oh, we're so happy you're a cellist." And, "Oh, will you play for this mass? Will you play here?" And it was just like a completely different attitude towards me being a musician. They were delighted. And as I learned more and more about Elizabeth Seton, I mean, Elizabeth Seton loved to play the piano. And at the first school in Emmitsburg, the subjects he taught were French and piano.

Sister Rejane  
I did not know that.

Sister Alice Ann  
Yeah. And in our particular community, which we consider sort of the continuation of the original community, because people were missioned to Cincinnati and then later, the Daughters of Charity amalgamated the Emmitsburg community--but our community still has the spirit, in a way, of the original community that was in the American foundation. And so all of our sisters studied music, and there was always a music teacher at every single mission from way back in the 1800s. So even Blandina Segale, who's now on the cause for canonization, her major was music. And everywhere she was assigned to minister out West and in even in Ohio, she was always the music teacher.

Sister Rejane  
Really?

Sister Alice Ann  
Yeah. So our community's just,  filled up with musicians. So I guess I kind of fit right in.

Sister Rejane  
Sure. Sure. I just think that's important for our audience to hear. You know, oftentimes we talk about having to give up parts of our lives, but you have been able to really make it a both/and. Because it really is a dual vocation for you, being a cellist and a sister. I just think that's powerful.

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, playing the cello is a gift. And with all good, fruitful gifts, that comes from God. There's no doubt about that. And I've just taken this particular gift and tried to really enhance it and keep deepening it, and the whole purpose of that is for learning and growing myself, but also for giving to other people. So, to me, it's always been a ministry. And I think it's a very valid ministry because of it being a gift from God, to be able to even play music.

Sister Rejane  
Right. So let's talk about how are you using your gift today in your ministry? What does that look like? What does a typical week look like for you?

Sister Alice Ann  
Sell, I guess I take St. Vincent de Paul motto--his saying about wearing yourself out for God every day--I take that literally. But I started teaching Suzuki cello when I was in my early 20s. And so I have been doing that for a long time now. And so I've been having the joy of being around children, teaching cello, for a long time. And it makes me so happy. In the Suzuki method, we actually work with families. So there's always a parent that we train to help practice with the child at home. And then also, in the Suzuki method, we start children very young. So the youngest child I've taught is 15 months old. And then, you know, all the way through adults. And so I just have the beautiful joy of seeing these children grow up from preschool through high school. And then also because I've taught at universities for many years, I often even get to see them for longer, past high school, the children that I've seen grow up, and it's a very great honor to be part of families' life, even for just a small period of time. It's lovely. So I teach Suzuki cello a lot of the week, usually, like nine to 12 hours on the days that I teach--I usually teach a lot of hours at once. And then I also still do some performances for different organizations and in my community, and then I have, since 1997, taught at universities. And I've just recently, retired I actually use the word "retired," because it was 26 years of teaching university and I felt like I needed to move on to something different.--which I fully don't know yet. But I've been composing more music and this idea of trying to bridge the Holy Spirit and the angels to use that as a healing tool with the cello is something I'm exploring.

Sister Rejane  
Okay, I have to ask for my audience. I'm sure they're wondering, what does the cello look like for a 15 month old?

Sister Alice Ann  
It's very tiny. But when they first start taking lessons, you really only have to make sure you have a chair the right size, which is hard for a little baby to sit on a chair and learn how to balance. In the beginning I just teach them how to sit and how to focus their mind. Usually they only focus about three to four seconds,. And to learn to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, which is the first piece that Suzuki cellists play. It takes 60 seconds of concentration. So I actually train the children to have focus and expand their focus and then we learn singing and rhythm in the beginning, and then when they learn the bow hold, they earn their little cello. It's very tiny. Totally cute.

Sister Rejane  
Oh, I bet. Oh, I so bet. So how is Suzuki different than a traditional teaching method for music?

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, first of all that we believe you should start studying very young. In traditional method, you were not supposed to begin playing, playing an instrument till you were eight or nine years old, when the two hemispheres of your brain connect, because that's when the age of reason begins. So most teachers have thought--this is for hundreds of years, okay--that that is the prime age, because then you can talk, to the kid to reason with them and explain how to do things. So in the Suzuki method, we have an extensive teacher training curriculum. And I'm heavily involved with teacher training for the last 10 years. And what we do is we play games that teach the kids how to learn music, but we do it in a fun way so they feel like it's a game. And then they learn how to sing and play on the cello. And it's quite a natural experience for them. Because all young children love to sing. It's kind of like people are born with music, and they have to forget it somehow. If you know what I mean. So because some people don't learn anything more about music, but it seems to me, having been around a lot of preschooler kids that do music, that it seems very natural to them to sing and to want to make sounds. So we train the parents to practice with the kids at home. And then we also have private lessons and group lessons, because the kids can learn from each other. And they actually learn how to play first, before they learn to read music. If you teach a two year old, they're not reading ready--they can't read words or books. But some three, four or five year olds are reading ready. So maybe they played cello and they learn how to make a very beautiful sound and how to play with good basic skills. And then I will teach them to read music after. So their ears are opened first. And then when you start to read with your eye, it doesn't overcome your ear. Your ear is always primary.

Sister Rejane  
That's really beautiful. That ties in almost with some of the Scripture, right, that your eye and your ear need to be clear in order to hear and be attentive, in order to really listen what's happening and what's going on around you.

Sister Alice Ann  
Right.

Sister Rejane  
So has religious life and some of the lessons of being in religious life helped you? I mean, it sounds like community's a real big part of Suzuki. And as we know, that ties to religious life as well.

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, it is pretty interesting. I'm really involved in the leadership of the Suzuki Association of the Americas. And it is kind of paralleling my Sister of Charity community because the Suzuki Association has teachers age 18, 20, through 85, 90 years old, and these people are still teaching. So they're not retired. So that's a very large conglomeration of, of generations. And it's very challenging for us to deal with that in the Suzuki method so that the young people feel like they have opportunities to contribute, but yet, they need to get more experience. But then the older teachers still feel like they are contributing and vibrant members, because they are still teaching the same as somebody who's younger. This is really a very difficult thing to navigate. So it's interesting when I go to meetings where we're trying to decide how to approach things. Last year, during the pandemic, the Suzuki cello teachers revised our entire curriculum, and we did it on Zoom. And we were trying to navigate all these cultural generational gaps that people experience just even being at a meeting. And so some of the things I've learned in our community of Sisters of Charity of Cincinnati, because our generations are pretty much the same, except we have people over 100 and people who are 20, 25.

Sister Rejane  
Right.

Sister Alice Ann  
It's just pretty much the same. And so it's difficult to learn how to lead collaboratively and to discern things, considering that vast age range.

Sister Rejane  
So you're actually talking about discernment as collective discernment. I know we've talked a lot so far about your personal discernment. But what you're describing is that within religious life, or within an organization, you can do collective discernment. And every voice counts. And it is messy, and it takes time, but it can be done.

Sister Alice Ann  
I think that's the most challenging part, the last part you said: it takes time. Because I feel like with technology now, people feel like we should be able to do things really fast and get things done quicker. And if you want to make wise decisions, it takes time> It takes having the difficult conversations, and then leaving it and everyone having the time to discern individually, and then come back and reengage those conversations. And even if it's still difficult to stay in it, and be with one another until the wisdom hopefully rises among us, so that a decision can be made. In my experience, this could take several months to several years. But most people don't want to take that much time. They want to just get it done. So this is also challenging, just the different value systems that we're also dealing with--not just generally, generationally.

Sister Rejane  
Sure, sure. And I think within religious life, we have this history of discernment. And part of that is--whether it's done individually or collectively--you have God, you have the Holy Spirit, as our triune God, is part of the conversation, right? And that God's time is not always our time. And you can kind of see it in your story, as you look back over it within just this conversation. Life unfolds, not in our time. But you have to be open to letting the spirit move.

Sister Alice Ann  
Right. And the challenge is letting God have enough space within us and among us. So taking the time to pray or just be silent, even when you're together. And not leaving the possibility--like if you come in your own individual discernment and you know how it should be. But instead to keep your mind and spirit open to what else there could be. This is really hard these days. I mean, I don't know, I'm not that old to know, but I find that hard. And it's really hard to do it with groups of people. But I always still believe it's worth trying.

Sister Rejane  
Yes, yes. Alice Ann I'm so grateful for this time together--and wish you many blessings on your continued ministry.

Sister Alice Ann  
Well, thank you, Rejane, and to you too, since this is your first podcast for A Nun's Life. So congratulations to you on holding it together and not getting too nervous.

Sister Rejane  
Amen, Sister. Would you like to continue this conversation and see Sister Alice Ann play her cello? Join Sister Alice Ann and I Wednesday, May 4 at 8pm Eastern Time for Facebook Live at A Nun's Life Facebook page. After my final words on this podcast, stay tuned for more of Sister Alice Ann's original composition entitled Hope and Healing. In Good Faith is a production of A Nun's Life Ministry, helping people to discover and grow in their vocation by engaging questions about God, faith and religious life. This program is made possible through the grace of God and the support of our sponsors of A Nun's Life Ministry and you, our listeners. Visit us at anunslife.org. God bless.