Am I being a spiritual glutton?

Sister Rejane  
This Random Nun Clip is brought to you by A Nun's Life Ministry.

Sister Maxine  
So let's look at our first question that came in. And it's from James in Virginia. And James writes, "I am young, 20 years old. I haven't had any serious spiritual pushes to become a priest or deacon or brother. However, I feel drawn to holiness. I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. And I feel a need to undo them." And James continues, "Because of my past sinfulness, I feel like there's a lot standing between me and God. Yet I know God is calling me. Can an ordinary person like me get a spiritual advisor? If so, how often would I be allowed to meet with them? And I'm sort of worried it might be gluttonous to see a spiritual advisor, let's say, three days a week."

Sister Julie  
James, thank you so much for your question, and for describing a little bit about your journey with God. The first thing I have to say is in terms of that that sense that you have sinned, and that you've done a lot of tough things in life that you're not proud of. And I just want to say, James, we have all been there. We have been all been in that place, where we recognize that we've done some not so great things in our life, that we have maybe strayed a little bit afar from the person that we want to be, that we might have turned our backs on God and on others. And I just want to say we've all been there, it doesn't matter who we are, where we are in life, we've all been there. Our thoughts are with you, as you grapple with what that feels like.

Sister Maxine  
Well, and Yanke said in the chat room, "There's no saint without a past and no sinner without a future" -- certainly, without a future in God. Steve echoes that too, and said, "Every sinner and every saint, they also have a past."

Sister Julie  
That's right.

Sister Maxine  
And so we can't just think, oh my gosh, our past is so bad, that we can't do anything to draw closer to God. The good thing is that even though recognizing there's some things he's not proud of, James does feel that pull of God's love in his life.

Sister Julie  
Isn't that amazing, that even in the midst of having a sense that we are sinners, of having a sense that that we could do better, that we still can feel that overwhelming pull of God drawing us closer. It's like the classic good will always overcome evil kind of thing, where love is so strong that even in the midst of us recognizing how difficult things have been in our own life, we can still sense that draw from God, that overwhelming tractor beam of God's love pulling us in. We just can't help it.

Sister Maxine  
You get the sense here with James that he does get that, and that's what he's feeling. And on behalf of that, what he wants to do is try to cut to the chase there. Spiritual direction, three days a week. Now, he's probably thinking, "If I can accelerate that process, then I can get that relationship."

Sister Julie  
And in his sort of question, it seems like he's not sure. He seems like maybe there's something wrong. Maybe that's why he's asking is it gluttonous to want to see a spiritual advisor or spiritual director three times a week? And so he's signaling like, "Oh, I don't know if this sounds right." And I guess the first thing, James, is that with spiritual direction, the typical pattern of spiritual direction is to see a spiritual director once a month. That is what is most common in my experience. Every so often, people might go once every two months, or they might go twice a month. And that's something certainly to work out with a spiritual director. Going three times a week is a fairly rapid or a fairly quick rhythm that isn't typical of spiritual direction.

Sister Maxine  
And in the chat room, there's a comment: "Generally, one takes time between sessions to do journaling and other spiritual practices based on the advice of the director. And that it takes a while for all of this to percolate inside of a person." I think that's a great observation. We can't fast forward the pace of reflection. We want to take some time and take in what happened in that session, what has meaning for us and look at the implications for ourselves and see how we feel about all of it.

Sister Julie  
That'd be like trying to do novena in nine minutes.

Sister Maxine  
That's right.

Sister Julie  
You know? A novena is a classic Catholic form of prayer where you pray each day over nine days. And by its very nature, you can't do it in nine minutes. I think spiritual direction is that same sort of thing. It's not just about the meeting -- it's not just about that 45 minutes, hour, hour and a half that you spend with a spiritual director. Spiritual direction is about the fullness of that time, the preparation for it, the time itself. And then what happens after as you reflect on God's activity in your life. And for James, a couple of suggestions as you as you go forward. Definitely pursue the idea of a spiritual advisor, especially as you're feeling that nudge from God and you're trying to set off in a new path, or a renewed path, in your life. Check it out, and definitely tend to those questions about how God is calling you. You might also find some other ways, in addition to spiritual direction, that might help you lean into God and to listen more deeply to God's call. You may find that through service, volunteering at a soup kitchen, helping out at the local hospice. That may be a way for you to tap into God's call to you.

Sister Maxine  
And Lent is a great time, of course -- the season of returning to God and growing in relationship -- to try not just spiritual direction, but as you were saying, Sister Julie, we encounter God in so many places. We can open those doors. Maybe it is the soup kitchen, maybe it's volunteering as a tutor. Open the doors and God will walk through. So we hold you in our prayer, James, and we trust that you'll continue to move toward that healing that needs to occur in that relationship with God.

Sister Rejane  
To hear full episodes of A Nun's Life podcasts, visit the podcast page at anunslife.org/podcasts.

This transcript has been lightly edited for readability.