September 8th is the feast day of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus. It caught me off guard a bit today because I’m used to seeing the feast listed as “the birth of the BVM” not “the birthday of the BVM”. A minor change of words, but enough to throw me. When I saw “birthday” I immediately had images of a young child celebrating their birthday with cake, balloons, presents, and friends. Juxtaposing that image with the great BVM, the Blessed Virgin Mary, seemed almost sacrilegious.
Yet … it got me thinking. First Mary didn’t (and probably doesn’t even now) spend her days frozen in an untouchable marble pose. She was a person like you and I (albeit without sin) who had a life, daily chores, friends, field trips, and other ordinary “stuff” of life. She also had a childhood, and parents Ann and Joachim. Granted, her life — and any celebration of a birthday she might have had — would have looked very different from ours today, but I can’t help imagining a little Mary running around with her family and friends, enjoying a feast or something to celebrate her life. It gives me pause because I don’t ordinarily see Mary this way, as a child doing normal kid things. I usually only see her as a young woman growing in her relationship with God through her “Yes” to bear the Son of God all the way through the Pentecost event and her encounter with the Holy Spirit. But a child?
Today I think I’m going to spend more time getting to know Mary through this other image, a child full of life and mischief and fun and energy! And I’m going go find my copy of Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints
How do you think of Mary? Is there a particular image or title of Mary that speaks to you the most? How do you relate to Mary in day to day life?
Archived Comments
Barbara September 8, 2009 at 9:50 am
This lovely feast brings to mind dear Sister Irma whose nameday it was. She was a wise grandmother to her students and a dear mentor all my life. I tend to conflate her with Julian of Norwich in my mind. She passed to Heaven a few decades ago in England where she had been provincial superior. My Heaven would not seem complete without her there to welcome me.
Ray (aka Gnome) September 8, 2009 at 10:18 am
At times I have been intimidated or have had trouble connecting with Mary since I’ve often just connected her with ominous apparitions that give people grim warnings and “sneak previews” of purgatory (good thing God doesn’t run a movie theatre–just kidding).
However, I feel I’ve grown closer to her over the years because I spent my high school and college years close to a Marian order whose title for her was “Notre Bonne Mère” or Our Good Mother.
In addition to focusing on this title, I like to focus on the scene of the Wedding at Cana to remind myself that she is a mother that cares and pleads for us, while at the same time reminding us the cost of discipleship as she has to watch her own son be humiliated and nailed to a cross. I feel these two scenes most highlight her mystical role as intercessor and earthly role as first disciple and inch me closer toward forming a much closer relationship with her…
pondering September 8, 2009 at 11:24 am
I am almost done reading the book “Truly Our Sister” and I agree with you that it is a very inspiring book and has helped me greatly. Like Ray I used to have issues accepting Mary, thinking of her only as somebody unapproachable and I especially disliked how she is portrayed often in patriarchal terms as the perfect example… The book has helped me to understand the human side of Mary and the more historically accurate view of her life and how she lived. As contradicting as this might seem, I also really like the comfort of singing Mary songs and especially praying the Hail Mary. Whenever I get really scared or nervous I repeat Hail Marys until I feel better!
Sr. Ann Marie September 8, 2009 at 12:51 pm
My favorite title of Mary is one used by St. Francis in his Salutation to Mary. He called her the Virgin Made Church. To me that says so, so much. I can definitely see Mary celebrating her birthday. I think she must have been a woman who knew happiness and joy in living–and to be that kind of person she must have celebrated that life that was hers. I guess maybe I’m in a celebrating mode! Just came from sharing lunch with five of our sisters–laughing, telling stories, celebrating our life as Sisters of St. Francis. We entered our congregation 50 years ago today so we too enjoyed celebrating the life that is ours!
Lutheran Susan September 8, 2009 at 2:33 pm
As a Lutheran, we don’t have a formal and specific reverence of Mary in our church, but she does inform my life all the same. Sixteen years ago I was very pregnant with my son and truly cognizant of what it must have been like for Mary, stepping out in faith to bear this Child of God. I have felt a connection with her since and when I have those moments of parental despair that all parents face at times, I find myself asking, “What would Mary do?”
audra September 8, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I too have had trouble relating to Mary at times. I think it’s all the stories of her talking about purgatory and Hell in the last century that intimidated me. But I also remember a time in church when I was fifteen and our priest had another girl and I stand in front of the congregation to give everyone a picture of what Mary may have looked like when she said yes to God. It gave me a whole new perspective that I still remember to this day. Mary,though, sinless was just a normal teenage girl. Having a teenage girl be the mother of the Savior of the world–only God could have pulled something like that off.
As a side note–I remember begging Sister Eileen, our parish youth minister, to be Mary in the navitity scene. I almost froze to death sitting in that wooden makeshift “barn” watching over a plastic baby Jesus and hearing all kinds of dirty jokes from the football player Joseph. Not mention smelling the camels cows and goats. I’ve never has so much fun freezing in my life!
Shannon September 8, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Though I’m a cradle Catholic, I didn’t have an appreciation for Mary, and a true devotion to her until I became a mother myself. I like to think of Mary as my heavenly Mother; even when my earthly life is busy and full of stress, my heavenly Mother is always there to talk to. My older son was having trouble sleeping this past summer, and when we were up in the middle of the night, sometimes we would say the rosary (in a very groggy state, but I figured Mary would hear us anyway). Often that was enough to get him back to sleep. My second son was born on December 21, so that year in particular I felt very close to Mary as my pregnancy lasted almost until Christmas Day.
GilChrist77 September 8, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I also have had a very hard time in my relationship with Mary. The struggle for me stems from the fact that I have an amazing relationship with my earthly mother so I don’t have a need of a mother figure in my life. When I was in Austria we went to Mariazell and I also went to an Akathist Hymn (which is a Byzantine honoring of Mary). After this I started to have a deeper devotion to Mary as my Queen, but it still wasn’t very personal. However, since I have discerned that I am called to the SMME it has become much more personal because I think of her going through the same thoughts, feelings and struggles as I am.
Rich September 8, 2009 at 6:12 pm
I am very devoted to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. To me, it speaks of Mary’s great love, both for God and for us, her children. I often pray that Mary will make my heart like hers, that my heart may burn with the fire of God’s love and that I may spread that love to everyone I encounter.
Mary Ellen September 8, 2009 at 7:55 pm
A long time ago, I fell away from the Church. I had small children at the time and it was easier not to go to church and sleeping in on Sunday morning was becoming a habit. My husband left the church years prior so I never really had the support of a spouse to push me along. As time went on, I fell further and further away and I actually started to turn my back on God. Sins meant nothing to me, I always had the excuse that I was “just human”. I stopped thinking about the Sacrament of Confession and even began to mock the Church (I was following in my husband’s footsteps).
Anyway, as the years went on and I had my fourth child (the second one that I had not had Baptized) and when he was four years old I had this sudden feeling that my life was so empty…when I should have felt it was so full because I was so happy to have my children and life should have seemed pretty good. But it wasn’t. I kept feeling that I needed to say a rosary. It was a nagging feeling that wouldn’t leave me. I thought I was going crazy, because after all, I gave up on “all that stuff” for quite awhile.
Long story short….I dug out my old rosary beads, said a rosary and before you know it I was laying prostate on the floor begging her to intercede for me to her Son, to allow me to come back to Him and go back to the Church. I felt such peace come over me. I went to Confession, made arrangements to have my four year old son Baptized and my daughter who was 10 at the time who said she wanted to be Baptized, too. Since then (my kids are all grown now) all my kids went to Catechism classes, made all their Sacraments (they made their Confirmation in their Junior year of high school), and I not only attend Mass regularly, pray every day, and I am a regular “Adorer” at my Parish Perpetual Adoration Chapel. I’ve been doing that for over 5 years now.
All because of Mary….who I believe was the one telling me to pick up that rosary and start praying. She pointed me in the direction I needed to change my life and I will always love her for that!
Maggie McGrail September 8, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Well, I accepted Mary as she was presented in high school, but then I have had so much of a problem ever since accepting any closeness to Mary. She was either ethereal or a statue on a pedestal or an unreal picture. Much earlier this year however, I began picturing a young barefoot Mary-mother, scooting around a dirt floored hut type of home, chasing a little boy, playfully teasing the goats with her broom and NEVER wearing a clean powder blue robe. This Mary is someone I can talk with easily. She understands kids and dogs leaving toys around to trip over.
Peggy September 8, 2009 at 9:58 pm
There was a book published called “Mary According to Women,” edited by Sister Carol Frances Jergen and published in 1985 by Sheed & Ward. I’d recommend it, especially for people who (like me) have had trouble “connecting” to Mary. Each essay is written by a different member of Carol Frances’s community. I still find this book meaningful….
Someone else mentioned wanting to be Mary in their school play. I was chosen to be Mary in the 3rd grade Christmas pageant (back when public schools, at least in the south, had religious pageants). Because I was at the time Jewish (I am an adult convert to Catholicism), a number of parents of children in my class objected. The teacher was willing to support her original choice, but my parents agreed that this was probably not one worth fighting about. So it was decided I would play the “head angel” instead. As my parents ended their meeting with the WONDERFUL Mrs. Scates (the 3rd-grade teacher), my father said–”I just hope you realize that Peggy would be FAR more credible playing a virgin than an angel!” I had to share this, which is one of my favorite stories about my father. I knew even then, by the way, that Mary was Jewish–and that I was therefore the BEST qualified in the class to play her. Anyway, ever since then, I’ve felt a kind of special kinship to Mary, even before I was a Christian, much less a Catholic!
Robyn September 9, 2009 at 3:03 am
I started to draw close to Mary when pregnant with my daughter. I was pregnant through Advent and it was a truly incredible experience, meditating on Mary as theotokos, God-bearer (an Eastern Orthodox title I really like for her), carrying the infinity of God in the finite darkness of her womb.
Mary has now become a true companion on my journey inwards to God and outwards to others. I meditate a lot about her contemplative calling and find her a real inspiration to remain in the darkness of God, drawing in the “cloud of forgetting” behind me.
Sister Julie September 9, 2009 at 7:50 am
Rich — I am just getting to know Mary though her title “Immaculate Heart of Mary”. I’ve been an Immaculate Heart of Mary sister for over 10 years now and am always deepening what I understand that title to be, not just as a nun but as one who takes the namesake of Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Thanks for the book suggestion, Peggy. I read (and proofread!) Sister Carol’s book on the Trinity last year. Love her stuff … good writer and relies on Rahner!
Sue September 9, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Mary is like a personal friend to me,through good times & bad. I admit sometimes I’m not as diligent as I should be in thanking her when things are good as opposed to asking for her help when things are terrible. This relationship started in grade school, Angelus every day, May crowning,& all questions always answered in some great fashion by the Sisters St. Joseph, who provided me with such a great educational start.I feel better when I pray to Our Lady when going through something,I know my friend will be there for me. I have many examples of how Mary was there for me,& no one could ever change my mind,that the event,whichever it might be was not due to Our Lady. 28yrs ago I spent the entire last month of pregnancy in the hospital.At that time things were different than now,but my doc knew if I knew according to sonogram baby was small,short on fluid,due to my hypertension&so as I asked each day if I could go home,doc would say, oh, maybe tomorrow. I said the memorare every day without fail,and the rosary a couple of times every week.Well,when my baby was born,she had plenty of amnionic fluid, perfect height&weight,lungs fine.I’ll never forget holding my baby,& thanking MaryI’m a nurse,I know tests can be wrong,but no one will ever convince me of that, I know “my friend” was right there with me.Incredibly my daughter has been married 2 yrs,& had 2 miscarriages.Being worried about her,took 2 miscarriages very hard,& distracted by a tough year,I kinda forgot my friend (Mary), BUT, this 3rd pregnancy I woke up, &am very cognizant of my friend. My rosary&memorare have been on since day 1 which of course was the day she found out about the baby. She is now22weeks, we just found out it’s a girl.
Fariba September 11, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Mary is so incredible. I love images of the Virgin with the child Jesus because the images portray the tender affection that Mary had/has for Jesus and that Jesus had/has for Mary. The perfect love, the perfect family, the perfect people. Jesus of course being God too =)
